Chapter 5

"Tori. Tori."

A hand roughly shook my shoulder, and I jerked my head up with a jagged inhale, bleary eyes scrunched. Had I fallen asleep?

Ezra was sitting up in bed beside me, the blankets pooled in his lap. My attention caught on his bare chest, delaying the moment when I got my gaze up to his face.

Burning crimson eyes stared down at me.

Fear jolted through my gut, and I sat up with a curse. "Crap, sorry. I didn't mean to drift off."

Eterran's mouth thinned with displeasure. "We don't have long. He isn't sleeping deeply—too restless. I wonder why?" he added mockingly.

"Butt out. You might be sharing his body, but you don't need to be a perv about it." I straightened my shirt, reminding myself to keep my voice low and soothing so Ezra didn't wake up.

Eterran watched me, too still and predatory, his glowing stare devoid of Ezra's warmth. I hated seeing the demon in his face.

"All right," I whispered in a businesslike tone. "Our plan. Two parts—the amulet and the summoner."

"The amulet may be all we need."

"But it might not get your body back," I countered fiercely. "That's our goal. Not to give you control of Ezra's body, but to free you both. To do that, we need to know how you two are bound together—exactly how. And we need to know exactly how that amulet works."

His jaw tightened.

"After our last talk," I told him, "I spoke with Darius. He's going to wait to act. So are Aaron and Kai. You and Ezra just need to focus on keeping calm and levelheaded while we figure this out."

"Are we leaving soon?" The faintest shadow of fear touched his cold expression. "Every day counts."

"Tomorrow morning." I rubbed my hands together nervously. "You said last time that the summoner who turned Ezra into a demon mage died during the Enright extermination."

"Along with all the others."

"But you're sure the summoner's grimoire is still in Enright?"

"I am not sure." He rested his elbows on his knees, hunching forward. "I was summoned first into a circle, and during that time, I observed everything. There was a hidden room beneath the ritual area—the summoner's lair. I could hear faint noises through the ground. When we returned after the extermination, that hidden place hadn't been uncovered."

"But that was eight years ago."

"Why would anyone excavate the ruins?"

"Good point. But would the summoner have left anything down there?"

"The group," Eterran sneered, "treated summoning and rituals as performances. Their leaders shared a large, ornate grimoire. It contained all their rituals and spells."

I puffed out a breath. "So it wasn't a personal grimoire. There's a good chance, then, they stored it in the ‘lair.'"

"That is my thought. If it isn't there, you may find other information."

"We'll need your help to find the hidden room. And that means …" I steeled myself. "I'm going to tell Ezra everything."

"No."

"He needs to know before we—"

"No." Eterran bared his teeth. "He won't believe that I would help him—help us—without betraying him."

"You two worked together once before, didn't you? Ezra told me—"

"After his parents and everyone he knew were slaughtered because he ran away, he turned all his guilt and self-loathing on me. He hates me down to his soul."

"They weren't killed because Ezra ran—"

"If he hadn't run, they wouldn't have searched for him and the Keys of Solomon would never have found his family." Eterran made an impatient rasp in his throat. "Humans cannot accept the senselessness of death. They need reasons for death. The only reason he can find is his own choices."

His hand closed around the back of my head, and he dragged my face close to his.

"Understand, Tori," he growled. "There is only one thing Ezra cannot bear. He will endure any pain or suffering himself, but he will not allow his family to die because of him—not again."

I stared into the demon's burning lava eyes, my throat too tight for words.

"If he finds out I have this level of autonomy, he will find a way to die—immediately. I will have no choice but to fight him for control, and that could destroy us both."

Swallowing back nausea, I gripped his wrist. "Let me go."

He opened his fingers. "You cannot tell Ezra."

"I can't not tell Ezra. He's way too smart to believe any half-baked cover story about why we're going to Enright, and as soon as we need your help in locating that hidden room, he'll find out that—"

"Then we wait for him to sleep."

I set my jaw stubbornly. "I'm not lying to him anymore."

"Zh'ūltis!" he snapped. "Worry about his forgiveness after you have ensured his survival! We cannot—"

His eyes went wide, his arm shuddering in my grip. "He's—"

He jerked, throwing his head back. It hit the wall with a thud. Gasping, he buckled forward, tearing his arm from my grasp as he pressed both hands to his face. His shoulders heaved.

He slid his hands down, revealing Ezra's human eyes staring blankly ahead as he panted.

My hammering heart lodged in my throat, muffling my voice as I whispered, "Ezra?"

He jolted as though my whisper had been a slap. His wide-eyed stare shot to me, whipped across my face, and stopped on my hand still hovering in the air.

Lowering his hands from his face, he looked at his wrist. The one I'd been holding.

"You were talking to me …" he muttered hoarsely.

"I—" Panic rushed through me, and I blurted without thinking, "I was telling you to calm down. You were having a nightmare—"

"You were talking to him."

My voice died.

His eyes regained focus. "He was—he was talking—but I was—wasn't I sleeping?" He sucked in a lungful of air and expelled it in a rush. "I was sleeping and he was—and you were—"

Shit, shit, shit. The decision about when to tell him the truth was no longer up for debate. "Ezra, I need to—"

"What happened? Was Eterran in control? What—" His frantic questions cut off. Mismatched eyes swept across my face. "Why are you so calm?"

I reached for his arm. "I can explain. Just—"

"Explain?" He jerked away from my hand. "Didn't Eterran just take control while I was sleeping? How could you possibly explain that? How …" He broke off, his face losing what little color remained. "Wait. No. No."

He flung the blankets aside and rolled off the bed. As his feet hit the floor, he clamped his hands to the sides of his head. "My insomnia in December. It's not—he wasn't—was it him?"

Panic bled into his voice, and my anxiety ratcheted in response. Ezra's usual levelheadedness was rapidly losing out to the realization that one of his worst nightmares had come true.

He whirled on me. "What do you know?"

I slid to the edge of the bed and swung my feet down to the floor. "Ezra, please calm down. It's okay. Let me explain."

"My demon controlled me in my sleep! How is that okay?"

"I'll explain it," I replied, keeping my tone even despite the fear clogging my lungs. "Please, Ezra. Just sit down and let me talk."

His chest heaved as he fought to bring his emotions under control, and I shivered from the tension gripping me. Too dangerous. This was way too dangerous for him. The lethal feedback loop of emotion that had almost destroyed him a few days ago was too close.

I held my hands out, imploring, "Please, Ezra."

He stared at me. "You said I was having a nightmare. You lied to me."

"I—I didn't want to freak you out the second you woke up."

"Eterran was talking to you." His voice rose. "What did he say to you?"

"Ezra, please just—"

"What did he say to you?"

This time, he shouted the question, and I recoiled, clenching fistfuls of blankets.

Footsteps thudded up the stairs. Aaron whipped the bedroom door open. "What's wr—"

"Tell me, Tori!" Ezra yelled.

"Ezra!" Aaron barked, aghast. "What's—"

"This wasn't the first time, was it?" Ezra snarled. "You're too calm. How long, Tori?"

Aaron took an angry step into the room. "Ezra—"

"How long have you been talking to my demon?"

I cringed back. Aaron's mouth hung open, and his disbelieving stare jerked to me.

I had to swallow before I could speak. "Since we went to the Sinclair Academy, but it's not what you think. It was—"

Ezra stepped sharply back, bumping into Aaron. "The werewolf attack. I couldn't remember what happened."

"All that destruction at the alchemist's house," Aaron muttered, his attention darting between me and Ezra. "That was his demon?"

"Yes, but guys, please listen. Eterran helped me because—"

"Helped you?" Aaron interrupted, anger igniting through his disbelief. "You mean the demon that's almost killed me and Kai several times each—"

I shoved to my feet. "Yes, that demon! And if you'd both shut up for half a minute, I could explain why I didn't tell you!"

Aaron raked his hands through his hair. "I'm listening."

I looked at Ezra, but he was backing away, his shoulders moving with short breaths. His stare had lost focus and he was gripping his hair again, knuckles white. The room was far colder than it should've been.

Aaron put a hand on Ezra's arm. "Come on, man. Breathe. Whatever's going on, we'll figure it out."

Ezra sucked in air. Slowly, his hands unclenched and he lowered his arms.

Keeping a grip on Ezra's shoulder, Aaron looked at me, his anger banked but not gone. "Spill it, Tori."

I folded my arms. This was not how I'd wanted to have this conversation. "You two remember the demonic amulet, right? The one I used to free Burke's demon?"

"Yeah," Aaron said shortly. "The demon disappeared with it."

"No. I kept it."

His eyes widened.

"Eterran knows I have it. He figured out how to stay awake while Ezra is sleeping, and when we were staying at the academy together, Eterran paid me a visit one night. He wants the amulet to break his contract with you, Ezra. He thinks it will free both of you, but—"

"Wait." Aaron stared at me. "Eterran can act independently when Ezra is sleeping? And you knew this? And you didn't tell us?"

I gripped the sides of my shirt, arms still crossed. "If I'd told you, you might've decided Ezra had to die immediately and—"

"You didn't tell us Ezra's demon could freely walk around at night while we were all asleep? In my home? With my parents? He could've killed them!"

"But he didn't want to kill anyone! He wanted the amulet, and I wasn't going to help him if he—"

"Help him?" Ezra whispered.

I glanced at his frozen stare, my heart constricting, then looked back to Aaron. "I made Eterran agree to stop controlling Ezra at night while I figured out the amulet. There's a chance it could—"

Ezra turned away from me, pulling his shoulder from Aaron's hand. He was breathing hard again, fighting for control. He pressed both hands to the wall, head bowed.

I watched the white puff of his breath for several seconds before realizing how much the temperature had dropped. Frost crept across the windowpanes.

"Tori …" His quiet voice shook. "Get out of my room."

My body went colder than the icy air. "Ezra—"

"Get out."

"Let me explain—"

"Explain!" The word burst from him in a shout. His hands balled into fists, knuckles grinding against the wall. "Explain how you let me walk around for weeks knowing that any night, Eterran could take over? You let me sleep in the same house as the only people I love! He could've killed you or Aaron or Kai at any time!"

"Eterran wasn't going to hurt anyone. I made him promise—"

"You have no idea!" He whirled around to face me, his shoulders hitting the wall and his face contorted. "Do you know why he's tried to kill Aaron and Kai so many times? To hurt me! To punish me for being his prison! He enjoys making me suffer!"

I stepped back, my legs bumping the bed. "Eterran wants—"

"I know what he wants, and I know how manipulative he is, and you have no idea! He could've turned on you at any time!" A crackle of red power sizzled up his arms. "I promised myself I wouldn't put any of you in danger. I can't live with that, don't you get it?"

My heart hammered in my ears, as loud as his rising voice.

His hands balled into white-knuckled fists. "It's already hard enough when one slip of my control could mean your death! And now it turns out Eterran's capable of this? For weeks? You knew about it and you didn't say a word to—"

"I didn't tell you so I'd have a chance to save you, Ezra!" I cried, eyes stinging. "There's a chance—"

"There's no chance!"

"Why are you so determined to die?" I screamed, terror and pain and panic spilling into my voice. "Why won't you fight for yourself the way you fight for your friends? Don't you realize how much we love you?"

"Of course I do!" he shouted back. "But not every fight can be won! Not every problem has a magic solution, and you should know that by now—but the only thing you've learned about being a mythic is keeping secrets and telling lies!"

"I was trying to protect you!"

"I've been trying to protect all of you! Three days ago, I almost killed you! It's only luck that you had the one magical item that could stop me!"

"Then maybe all we need to save you is a bit more luck, but you won't even try—"

"Saving me shouldn't mean endangering you!" His hands clenched so hard muscles rippled up his arms and across his chest. "I have to listen to Eterran's bitterness and hate every single day, and the only thing I have to balance that is you and Aaron and Kai. Without you three, it's not worth it!"

My hands had formed into tight fists too. "Your life is worth—"

"Nothing!" he roared. "I don't have a future, but you three do!"

I reeled back, bumped into the bed, then set my feet so I wouldn't retreat.

He bared his teeth furiously. "Protecting the three of you is the most important thing to me—and you went behind my back to give my worst enemy the chance to hurt you!"

"I took a calculated risk. To save you. And you can tell yourself all day long that your life is worthless, but as long as your friends love you, that's just a bullshit excuse!"

He recoiled.

"You can make all the excuses you want, but I'm not afraid to fight this battle. Neither is Eterran, and if that means I have to get his help instead of yours, that's on you!"

His eyes widened—and crimson veins streaked up his wrists. A spasm wrenched his limbs, and he whirled with blinding speed, his fist swinging for the wall.

He pulled back at the last second, and his knuckles hit the drywall with a dull bang instead of smashing right through. He panted as he fought for control. The temperature dropped until the air burned my face.

"Tori, go."

I started, my frightened stare jumping to Aaron.

"You've said enough." He took a cautious step closer to Ezra. "Go and wait for me at the car. Now."

I staggered backward, then spun on my heel. As I sped out the door, Aaron put his hands on Ezra's shoulders, murmuring quietly, talking his friend down from the spiral of emotion dragging him deeper and deeper toward madness.

I hardly saw the stairs, the empty living room with Aaron's movie still playing, the kitchen where I'd once cooked a casserole for the guys before blurting out something stupid that had sent Ezra running into the arms of his enemies.

The winter chill hit me as I slammed through the back door. I ran the length of the yard, hauled the gate open, and stumbled to a stop on the gravel pad at the back, where Aaron's gray SUV was parked. Kai's motorcycle was tucked in the corner with a black cover over it.

My breath caught in my chest, hitching with each gasp. I stumbled to the fence, slumped back into it, and slid to the ground. As my butt hit the uneven gravel, the tears finally fell.

He will not allow his family to die because of him—not again.

The one thing Ezra couldn't bear was endangering his friends, and I'd let it happen. But if I'd told anyone, they might've killed Ezra. What was I supposed to have done? Doubts whirled around and around in my head, and fear circled my heart, ripping at it with every pass. Uncertainty and hurt battered me, unrelenting, and I regretted every word I'd shouted at Ezra. What was wrong with me? Why had I done that? Why hadn't I kept my cool?

Minutes dragged by while I shivered in the cold, my face buried in my folded arms. The rumble of an approaching vehicle brought my head up, and I squinted as bright headlights hit me. A sleek black SUV pulled into the gap beside Aaron's vehicle.

The engine cut off, but the headlights continued to blind me as the driver's door opened. Footfalls crunched on the gravel as a man walked toward me. When he cut across the lights, I got a proper look—and terror seized my chest.

"Darius!" I jumped up, stumbling with stiffness, and realized I was shivering violently. "What are you doing here?"

The GM glanced at the house, his face grim. "Aaron called me."

I grabbed the front of his leather jacket, pushing into him so he couldn't advance. "You promised! You promised to wait!"

"I'm not here for that, Tori."

I hesitated but didn't release him. "Then why did you come?"

"Aaron said the two of you need to leave immediately, and Ezra shouldn't be left alone." Gray eyes searched my face. "What happened?"

My fingers shook. I tightened my grip on his coat to stifle their trembling. "Ezra found out …about his demon and …all the stuff I was hiding from him."

He sighed. "That was inevitable, wasn't it?"

"But it happened all wrong," I whispered. "I think he hates me."

"You went against everything important to him," Darius said bluntly.

I cringed as my heart split down the middle.

"But would you rather he die loving you, or live hating you? You made this decision already, Tori."

My lungs struggled for breath and I gasped in the chilly air. "Y-yes."

He put his hands on my shoulders. "You and Aaron have a job to do. Make it worth it."

A flitter of memory scraped me. Was it worth it, Zak?

I shuddered. Zak had betrayed me and my friends for his own ambitions. I was trying to save Ezra's life—and save Aaron's and Kai's happiness, which Ezra's death would destroy.

Closing my eyes, I pulled the shredded vestiges of my determination around me. Eyes opening, I released the GM's jacket. "Please take care of Ezra while we're gone."

"I will." Passing me, he pulled the gate open. "But Tori …I think you'll find that Ezra, who's survived more than he'll ever tell us, doesn't need protection. All he needs is a reason to fight."

Arms wrapped around myself and teeth chattering, I watched Darius cross the small yard and let himself in through the back door.

A reason to fight.

The amulet. The summoner's grimoire. I would find answers—and give Ezra the reason, and the hope, he needed.