Chapter 12

- EZRA -

Leaning on the wall in the stairwell, I closed my eyes against the exhausted burn behind my eyelids.

I hadn't slept last night. Weariness dragged at me, magnified by the Carapace of Valdurna's draining power and the fatigue I hadn't been able to shake since Tori had thrown the artifact over me less than a week ago. I needed to keep up my strength, both physical and mental. I knew that.

I still hadn't been able to sleep.

You have to sleep eventually.

Be quiet.

On my left, stairs led down to the empty pub; Cooper wouldn't show up for another hour, assuming he arrived on time. On my right, another staircase led to the guild's third level, and between them was the doorway to the second-floor workroom.

If I continued up the stairs, I could force my way into Darius's office, where he was currently working, and again ask him to fulfill his promise to me. I didn't expect his answer to have changed since last night, but I would try anyway.

Apparently, his much newer promise to Tori took precedence over the one he'd made to me the day he had inducted me into his guild.

My hands curled into fists, sickness coiling in my gut—a betrayed fury, my broken trust in Darius compounding the agony of Tori's deception.

He refuses to act because he knows there's a chance.

Be quiet.

I still couldn't believe what Tori had done. Couldn't believe she had hidden this for so long. She knew how much Aaron and Kai meant to me. She knew I couldn't bear it if they were hurt or killed because of me. She knew my worst fear was losing control …didn't she?

Flashes from last night ripped at me. Tori lying. Tori revealing the truth. Tori shouting, face screwed up with anguish and tears in her eyes, demanding to know why I was so determined to die.

I didn't want to die, but I was going to die anyway, and she was too stubborn to accept it. She was risking herself, Aaron, and Kai in a futile attempt to save me—me, a demon-infected killer doomed to madness.

You are the stubborn fool, not her.

Be quiet.

This was why I'd tried so hard to resist. This was why I hadn't said a word while Aaron had been dating her. Why I hadn't said a word after they'd broken up. Why I'd never, ever intended to suggest I felt anything more than friendship.

I let out a harsh breath and slid my hand into my pocket. Pulling out my phone, I unlocked the screen. My messaging app was already open, Tori's unanswered texts on display. How many times had I read them now?

My thumb drifted toward the reply icon, then I angrily swiped the app off the screen. Rage and despair rolled through me like a hot and cold tide. She was always leading with her heart and her passion. That was the only reason she'd fallen for Eterran's manipulations—she'd let hope override her reason and given him countless new opportunities to hurt her, Aaron, and Kai.

I'm trying to save us.

Be quiet!

Sleek, icy darkness roiled through my mind, bursts of anger and vicious hate spiking across my synapses. I pressed my back against the wall as I barricaded my thoughts against the contagious savagery. The surrounding air chilled my skin.

Will you die merely to spite me? Or will you die in a pathetic bid to atone for the deaths you've caused?

"Be quiet," I whispered, needing to give the words the extra strength that came with sound.

She asked why you won't fight for your life. Can you answer that, Ezra?

Teeth gritted, I returned my attention to my phone. Flipping to my inbox, I pondered the email I'd received on Sunday night, sent by Zora, then glanced through the doorway into the workroom. A young woman sat at a table with her back to the exit, tapping on her laptop touchpad in a frustrated way.

How much did I care about Zora's message? Considering the rest of my life could be measured in weeks, possibly days, it didn't matter.

Robin Page knows about the amulet.

My eyes widened. I looked away from the workroom and leaned against the wall again, jaw set. I wouldn't ask. Wouldn't listen. Wouldn't make the mistake of trusting the demon again.

You don't need to believe me if you believe in Tori.

Images flickered in my mind's eye. Tori's face. Her intense hazel eyes, guarded but desperate, as she told Eterran how Robin Page, the Crow and Hammer's new contractor, was searching for information about the demonic amulet.

Eterran could deceive me, but he couldn't outright lie. What he was showing me had truly happened.

My gaze flicked back to the email on my phone.

Hey Ezra. I know you're busy kicking golem ass right now, but Robin Page has information about a rogue summoner that you should hear. Ask her about it ASAP.

Zora

P.S. She's shy.

A few weeks ago, any connection between me and another Demonica mythic would've warranted immediate, cautious investigation. Now, however, it made no real difference. I could ignore it and let the chips fall where they may. Nothing I did now mattered.

I could ignore it, but bitter anger seethed in my blood and I didn't want to sit around. I didn't want to do nothing. To make excuses and passively await my fated end like the coward I'd somehow become.

I wanted to destroy something.

Is it my turn to hold back your temper?

"Be quiet," I growled.

You shouldn't talk to yourself. Your guildmates might notice, and wouldn't that be exciting to explain?

I swallowed against the fury rising in my chest. I thought you wanted to survive. Keep provoking me and we'll end up back in that …

That void of madness. That terrifying maelstrom of uncontrollable rage and violence that had swamped us both four nights ago, devouring our minds, twisting us together, ripping us apart.

Fear slid between us, tangling our thoughts. The sharp cut of Eterran's ever-present loathing dulled, a whisper of wordless agreement.

I glanced once more at my phone, then slid it into my pocket. Tori was gone, off searching for a way to save me. Doing everything she could, up to and including betraying my trust and putting my best friends in danger. Maybe she was risking her life right now.

And what was I doing? Accepting the inevitable …or making more excuses?

A clatter from the workroom. The petite brunette had pushed her chair back and was approaching the communal printer with hesitant steps, as though it were a lightly slumbering beast.

As the question echoed between me and Eterran, I pushed off the wall and strode into the workroom, my sights set on the unsuspecting demon contractor.

By the time I reached her, Robin had gathered a stack of freshly printed pages in her arms and was waiting for the rest to print. The printer ground to a halt. Muttering under her breath, she peered at it helplessly, then glanced across the room—looking in the opposite direction of my approach.

As I'd been doing for nearly a decade, I shut down my emotions—and shut down Eterran. His presence muted to a dull flame of cold hate in the bottom corner of my soul, and the pain, rage, and despair that had been smoldering inside me since last night fizzled and disappeared—for now.

Emptiness filled me, and when I spoke, my voice was smooth and friendly.

"Need help?"

Robin turned, a relieved smile curling her lips as her blue eyes, obscured by black-rimmed glasses, turned my way. "Yes, please. I have no idea how to …"

Her voice faded, her mouth dropping open. The color drained from her face, pupils dilating, a sharp inhalation rushing through her nose. She clutched the papers against her chest like a shield, her body language screaming one thing and one thing only: terror.

Shame tightened my throat—a reflexive response to her fear of me. Of what I'd let myself become.

But how did she know to fear me?

Deep in his black nest within me, Eterran's attention sharpened, and my own suspicion deepened. Robin Page knew something about me. Maybe not the whole truth, but something.

My gaze dipped down her torso to the infernus hanging just below her armful of papers, the medallion's face etched with a sigil Eterran recognized.

"Ezra," she belatedly gasped, eyeing me like I might morph into a demon and rip off her head.

I answered with a calm smile. Whatever she knew, and how she knew it …I needed to find out.