16. Lazaro

16

LAZARO

I pace in my room, frustration bubbling beneath the surface. The argument with Lana replays in my head. I hate fighting with her, but neither can I let her treat me like a child or try to control me. To mold me into someone I don’t want to be anymore.

My stomach growls, reminding me it's time for breakfast. But the thought of facing Lana again, of enduring more tension and tongue lashings, makes me lose my appetite. I decide to skip the meal altogether.

I stick with the original plan to go to the home gym. On my way, I stop by the kitchen to make sure Diana is okay. As I approach, I hear a familiar humming. Peeking through the doorway, I spot Diana. She's prepping breakfast, her hips swaying slightly to whatever tune she has in her head. A smile tugs at my lips. I'm relieved to see she doesn't seem bothered by Lana catching us this morning. I wonder how she does that, lets negativity go. The incident with Lana is like a livewire charging through my veins, and here Diana has moved on from the embarrassment of getting caught with the boss’s brother.

For a moment, I consider joining her, letting her sunshine personality chase away my dark mood. But I hold back, not wanting to cause her any more trouble with my family. I told her I’d stay away and not distract her, so I head down to the gym, determined to work off this pent-up frustration and anger.

The burn in my muscles is a welcome distraction. I focus on my breathing, on the strain of each movement as I lift weights. It's familiar, this physical exertion. My body remembers even if my mind doesn't. As I push my limits, I feel a sense of control returning.

By the time I finish, I'm drenched in sweat but calmer. The anger has dissipated, leaving behind a dull ache of frustration. I know the peace is temporary, but I'll take what I can get.

After a quick shower, I head to the garage. Diana's beat-up car sits there. I run my hand along its hood, remembering how it felt to teach her how to change her oil. The memory brings a smile to my face.

I pop the hood, inspecting the engine. It's seen better days, but it's not beyond hope. As I start examining each component, looking for ways to improve its performance, I feel a sense of purpose wash over me. This, I can do. This makes sense to me.

Working on Diana's car feels like a connection to her, even when she's not here. I lose track of time as I tinker, making mental notes of parts I'll need to replace and improvements I can make. It's not just about fixing the car anymore. It's about doing something for her, something that might make her life a little easier. I shrug off the idea that she’ll use this car to leave someday.

Just before lunch, Matteo finds me and invites me out to another meeting. This one is at a restaurant that I’m surprised the family owns.

“Yeah, we were surprised when Elio bought it. Then it turned out it was Piper’s favorite.” Matteo rolls his eyes. “That guy has it hard for that woman.”

“Have you ever been in love?” I ask before thinking what a putz that might make me seem. After all, I’m supposed to be an asshole womanizer.

He shifts in his seat in the car. “Nah… not really.” It’s said in a way that makes me think he has. But he doesn’t want to talk about it so I don’t ask.

This meeting is over lunch and it goes well, even though I don’t remember the manager, who clearly remembers me if the way he keeps an eye on me is any indication. Like any moment, he thinks I'm going to sucker punch him.

After lunch, Matteo takes me around to another warehouse, but that too doesn't require anything more than my observing.

But as the day progresses, the need to see Diana grows until a new sort of irritation sprouts. She's like a drug, and I’m going through withdrawals needing another hit.

When we arrive back at the mansion, I check the time and see that dinner is just around the corner. I give in to my need and make my way to the kitchen.

I push open the door, expecting to hear her humming or see her swaying as she works. Instead, I'm met with a flurry of activity. Anna and another woman, Janey or is it Marie, are rushing around, preparing dinner. But there's no sign of Diana.

A cold knot forms in my stomach. Something's wrong.

"Where's Diana?" I ask, my voice coming out harsher than I intend.

Anna freezes, a look of discomfort crossing her face. She exchanges a glance with the other woman before turning back to me.

"I'm sorry, Mr. D'Amato," she says, her voice careful. "Miss D’Amato… she let Diana go this afternoon."

The words are a punch to the gut. “Lana fired her?” I ask to be sure.

Anna nods.

“Fuck!” I bellow it, making the woman jump and step back. But they don’t have to fear me. Lana, on the other hand…

Anger burns through me. How dare she? After everything I've been through, after finally finding someone who makes me feel normal, who doesn't look at me like I'm broken or dangerous. Why would Lana take that from me? Does she hate me? Is she punishing me for something?

I clench my fists, and I turn on my heel, storming out of the kitchen to hunt down my sister. I find her in the foyer with Piper. I don’t have the control to save this discussion for a later time when I can get Lana alone.

"What the hell did you do?" I snarl at Lana.

She turns to me, her expression a mixture of annoyance and pity. "I did what was necessary, Lazaro. That girl was taking advantage of you."

"Taking advantage?" I scoff. "I fucked her, Lana. Not the other way around.”

Lana isn’t impressed with my outburst. Piper, though, flinches.

“You're vulnerable right now, and she saw an opportunity. I couldn't let that continue."

Her words only fuel my anger. "You had no right to make that decision for me. What do I have to do to get you to leave me the fuck alone?”

Pain flashes in Lana’s eyes, but I’m not swayed. Talk about manipulations. “She works for us, Lazaro. It's not smart to fuck the staff. But more importantly, you need time with family. She’s a distraction?—”

Something inside me snaps. I grab the nearest object, a decorative vase, and hurl it against the wall, letting my rage explode. The vase shatters with a deafening crash, pieces scattering across the floor.

The sound echoes through the entry, followed by a stunned silence. As the last shard settles, I look up to see Lana and Piper staring at me. Piper's pale face and wide eyes bring me back to reality. What have I done?

Immediately, regret washes over me. I am exactly who they say I am. A violent, unpredictable man. The "mad dog" they all expect me to be.

“Goddammit, Lazaro,” Lana shouts at me as she puts an arm around Piper. “You’ve triggered trauma for Piper, you asshole. You know she was in an abusive relationship before Elio found her.”

Did I know that? Had they told me? I look at Piper, working to calm down and not appear like a maniac.

"I'm… I'm sorry. I didn't mean to…" But the words feel hollow. Isn't this exactly what everyone expects of me? The violent outburst, the loss of control? I've just proven them all right.

Elio comes flying in, with Elysse behind him. The tension in the room ratchets up another notch as he scans the scene. His eyes dart from the shattered pieces on the floor to Piper's shaken expression.

"What happened here?" Elio’s voice is sharp as he makes his way to Piper and wraps her up like he’s protecting her. Protecting her from me.

Elysse watches me warily as she goes to them, hiding behind Elio.

"It was an accident," Lana says quickly.

I suppose I should be grateful that she’s trying to cover for me. But all I feel is anger, fear, pain, and self-loathing all at once.

I meet Elio's gaze. The disappointment and wariness I see there cuts deep. I'm suddenly hyper-aware of every scar on my body, every mark that sets me apart as dangerous, unpredictable. Their proof that I’m a mad dog.

The weight of their stares becomes unbearable. I'm suffocating, trapped in a box of their expectations and my own failures. I need to get out, to breathe, to think.

Without waiting for a response, I push past them all and head for the door. No one tries to stop me. I'm not sure if that's a relief or another twist of the knife. Maybe I should leave and not come back. No, Lana would come looking for me. It’s so important to her to have me home. My guilt cranks up at that thought.

As I step outside, the cool evening air hits my face. I take a deep breath, trying to clear my head. I head to the garage, noticing that Lola is gone. Fear grips me as I imagine Diana taking her few items, tossing them in Lola, and heading out of town.

I grab the first keys from the hook and rush to the Audi it belongs to. I put the car in gear and drive like a maniac to Diana’s apartment, hoping to catch her before she leaves. But if she was fired that afternoon, she’d have a head start.

Relief floods through me when I see her car parked outside her building. She's here. She hasn't gone yet. I take the stairs two at a time, barely pausing to catch my breath before I'm knocking on her door.

The seconds stretch into eternity before I hear movement inside. When Diana opens the door, my heart clenches. Her eyes are red and puffy, her cheeks stained with tears. She's been crying, and it's my fault. My family's fault.

Without a word, I step inside, closing the door behind me. We stand there for a moment, the silence heavy between us. I want to pull her into my arms, to apologize for everything, but maybe I don’t have any right to. She was fired but didn’t come tell me. Didn’t call me. Maybe she's done with the D'Amatos.

Gently, I reach out and capture her chin, tilting her face up to meet my gaze. "Tell me what happened.”

Diana's lower lip trembles as she starts to speak. "I'm so sorry, Lazaro. I didn't mean to upset Lana. I should have kept my mouth shut, but I just… I couldn't stand the way she was talking about you."

Her words catch me off guard. She's apologizing? After what Lana did? I might not remember my life with Lana before, but I’ve been around her enough to know that she doesn’t pull punches when she’s got a burr up her ass. No doubt, she accused Diana of manipulating me or some bullshit.

"What do you mean? What did you say to Lana?"

Diana's eyes drop, unable to meet mine. "I told her that maybe you like spending time with me because I'm the only one who isn’t trying to turn you back into the man you were before. That maybe you're not that man anymore and she needs to learn to love you for who you are now."

I don’t have words to explain the feeling that wells in my chest. She defended me to my sister. She stood up for who I am now, not who I used to be. It means more than I can express.

I pull Diana into my arms, holding her close as she trembles against me. "You have nothing to apologize for.”

She gives me a watery smile, and I can't resist leaning in to kiss her softly. The kiss deepens, and I lose myself in the comfort of her presence, the way she makes me feel whole.

When we finally break apart, I rest my forehead against hers. "Come back with me.”

Diana tenses in my arms, pulling back slightly. "I don't know. Lana made it clear she doesn't want me there. And I… I don't want to cause more problems for you and your family."

I shake my head, cupping her face in my hands. "You're not the problem, Diana. Lana overstepped. I want you there. The only problem I have is when you’re not around.”

She gives me a wan smile. “I was fired.”

“So. You don’t have to work to be there with me. I can take care of you.”

Something flashes in her eyes, and I’m not sure what it means, but I’m afraid it will push her away. She’s not the type to want to be kept.

“I can unfire you," I say hurriedly. Especially now, I imagine they’ll let me keep Diana as a way to appease me. I don’t like that they have to do that, treat me with kid gloves, but I’ll use it if that’s what it takes to have Diana with me.

The hesitation remains in her eyes.

“I won’t take no, Diana. If I have to kidnap you, I will.” I give her a crooked grin.

Her lips twitch upward. "You wouldn't dare."

"Oh, wouldn't I?" I lunge forward, wrapping my arms around her waist. She squeals, trying to wriggle free, but I'm too quick. In one smooth motion, I hoist her over my shoulder, her laughter filling the small apartment.

"Lazaro!" she gasps. “Put me down!"

I spin us around. "Not a chance. You're coming with me, whether you like it or not."

She playfully pounds her fists against my back, but I can hear the smile in her voice. "This is so undignified!"

"Dignity's overrated.” I spank her backside. "Now, where are your keys? We need to lock up this place."

Diana groans. "In my purse, on the counter. But I'm not telling you which pocket."

I laugh, enjoying this playful side of her. "Challenge accepted."

Still holding her over my shoulder, I fumble around with her purse, making exaggerated noises of frustration as I search for the keys.

Diana's laughter grows louder with each dramatic sigh. "You're impossible."

“This morning, I was insatiable,” I retort, finally fishing out her keys. “Voila. Now, time to drag my woman back to my cave.” I keep the keys but hand her the purse.

“Wait, I need my backpack.”

I turn around, looking for the bag. I see one in the corner. “This one?” I pick it up.

“Yes.”

I sling it over my shoulder and start to the door again.

“You can put me down. I’ve agreed to go with you.”

“Nope. You brought this on yourself.”

“I refuse to leave my apartment like a sack of potatoes."

“Too bad.” I open the door and step through it. With her still over my shoulder, I make sure the door is locked and carry her down to the car.

“I’ll get you for this,” she says, whacking me on the ass.

“Your spanking me makes me hard.”

She laughs. “Of course it does.”

I finally set her down by my car and cup her face in my hands. “I’m tired of everyone deciding what is best for me. Lana… you…”

“Me?”

“You think listening to Lana is best for me, but it’s not. What about what I want? Does anyone consider that?”

Her eyes are soft and look up at me with something that feels deep and real. Too deep and real to believe it’s true, but at this moment, I open myself to it.

“What do you want, Lazaro?”

“I want my family and you.” I can’t believe I’ve just admitted that. “What do you want, Diana?”

She swallows. “I want to give you what you want.”

She didn’t say she wants me, but it’s good enough for now. “Then get in the car.”