Chapter 28

28

Freshly tattooed, we wandered back to his car before I turned to him and leaned back against the passenger door. He stood towering over me, watching me with a small smile and a sparkle dancing in his eyes. The breeze danced around us as my hair curled around my face. The road was practically empty save for a few cars driving past but the background blurred around him.

The sun shone high in the sky, bouncing off every sharp angle of his face and spotlighting him as the centre of my world.

"So, where to now?" I questioned, not quite ready for the day to end between us.

His lips faded as he checked his watch. "I should probably take you back home actually. Nate should be getting back now and I don't want him wondering where you are."

I waved him off. "It'll be fine. I can tell him I was with Alex or Avery."

"He'll expect me online."

I cocked my head and frowned. "What, you can't be busy too?"

He didn't look at me then and I took the hint, heart sinking as I repeated my questions in my mind, realising how desperate I sounded to stay with him and how consumed I felt in him. "Fine. Take me home."

It was a silent drive home as I swallowed my frustration. I was so in over my head for him, whereas he was looking over his shoulder at every turn. Our whole friendship had been kept behind closed doors, at first unintentionally but now I was just so sick of hiding, sick of not knowing if we were okay, and sick of feeling like I was doing something wrong by being with him. I didn't even know what we were after New Year's. We didn't talk about it afterward before he left that morning.

Maybe I was more frustrated with how easily I was letting myself fall for him. I feared that it was just me leaping off the ledge into the ocean hoping he would be there to guide me to safety. Maybe this was karma, after all I'd done to Liam.

He pulled up in front of the neighbour's house, a fence of bushes hiding his car from our house. Nate's car was in the driveway, but there was no sight of him.

I shook my head as I faced him. "What are we doing, Reece?"

He swallowed, staring out at the street as a couple walking their dog strolled past on the other side of the street. I pleaded for him in my head to reassure the fears echoing in my heart. I hoped he could prove my fears wrong. But he didn't.

"I don't know," he whispered in a pained breath.

I scoffed. "Why is it so bad for people to know that we're friends?"

He turned to me then with a pointed look. "It's not really that simple between us, Kody."

"Okay, then tell me." I crossed my arms as I waited. But again, silence filled the air.

I shook my head and laughed to myself, letting my fears talk for me before I could process things. "You know, if you don't want people to even know that we're friends, then maybe we shouldn't be anything."

I got out of the car and slammed the door behind me with my name echoing off his lips.

He drove off as soon as I got to the door at the exact time Nate opened the door. He saw a glimpse of Reece's car as it drove in the distance and questioned me if that was him. I panicked then, wanting to admit it while my frustration was still freshly simmering but at the same time not wanting to be irrational. I denied it, saying I wasn't sure and that I was just dropped off by Avery's Mum. There was a bitter taste in my mouth as the lie slipped out and I avoided looking at him as I slipped inside the house and retreated to my room.

I wasn't sure if I should show up to Reece's party after that. My heart was still raw from the confusing state Reece was leaving it in. But I did, still wanting to support him because I knew this day was more sad than happy for him.

By the time I arrived, the party was in full swing, with Nate following close behind and Avery and Alex's arms hooked in each of mine. The music was booming through the open windows as we walked up the long, steep driveway towards the tall Colorbond fence that led to the large, open backyard.

There were a lot of people I didn't know since Reece went to a different school, but I noticed a few of the baseball players lingering about once we stepped through the gate. Nate gravitated towards them, greeting them in handshakes and leaving us alone

Avery, Alex, and I wandered our way through the backyard, searching for familiar faces.

I found Reece not long after, though his conversation with Jake looked tense and my steps slowed as we made our way carefully towards them. Reece spared me a short glance, a frown in place before he spoke a few clipped words to Jake before stalking off into the house.

My stomach dropped, and I started to question why I was really there. Then Jake turned towards us, a smile stretching across his face that I could tell was forced.

"You guys made it. Shall I show you around? Introduce you to some people?"

I frowned, my gaze trailing off toward where Reece disappeared. "Should that not be the role of the actual host of the house?"

He scratched his jaw as his gaze wandered to anywhere that wasn't me. "Ah, that is true. That particular host however is currently out of commission."

His eyes finally met mine as he spoke the last word and I could see a flash of worry in them. But he shook his head subtly before pasting the smile back on his face and clapping his hands together. "Come, let's go."

I didn't see Reece most of the night. I wandered around, chatting to random people whose names I immediately forgot, and sipped slowly on the drinks Jake offered us.

It felt like I came for nothing. I was surrounded by people I didn't know apart from Avery and Alex and I felt so out of place.

I wanted to search for him to see if he was okay because I knew today was a day filled with mixed emotions for him. I wanted to find him, crawl in next to him, and hold him so he knew he wasn't alone. Maybe I didn't deserve to be that person for him after today, but I wanted to know he wasn't alone.

I realised in my time getting ready that I'd been so irrational and overreacted when my mind had told me he didn't want me like I wanted him. I should have looked at him, like really looked at him, and saw the sadness reflecting in his eyes.

I almost wanted to leave but Jake called everyone to gather around the patio table while someone brought out a cake. Someone shouted for someone to get Reece outside so we could sing to him.

About five minutes later, my heart sank as I watched him stumble out the sliding doors with a bottle of Jameson in hand, hair dishevelled, and eyes bloodshot. But that was the only tell I knew that he was crying just moments before because otherwise he had a smile on his face and his eyes were glazed over in a drunken daze.

"Oh, good," he slurred with a hiccup. "I'm not late for the cake."

He stumbled over to where Nate and Jake stood in front of the cake with the candles now burning bright. The two boys held him up on each side.

"Come on, let's sing me a happy birthday and get it over with. God knows there's nothing happy about it."

Nate bent down to whisper in his ear while everyone started to sing, drowning out their hushed words. I didn't join in though, my focus was too intent on the two boys.

Reece's gaze lazily dragged over everyone before they stopped on mine. It was like for a moment the world stopped and the people around us who started to sing Happy Birthday turned to a distant whisper. I saw the realisation drain his face while a glimmer of his grief peeked through his facade. This act and the drinking were all to hide the fact that he was truly drowning.

I blinked back into the present and Reece's friends were clapping and cheering before Reece bent down to blow the candles out.

Someone yelled from the back. "Don't forget your wish and make it a good one."

Everyone cheered in agreement, and I watched as Reece squeezed his eyes shut before he opened them to land on me as he blew the candles out, standing to his full height, while remaining eye contact with me. I mouthed ‘Happy Birthday' to him, and his lips twitched in a secret smile.

Then he looked to his friends and shouted, "Drink up." He raised the Jameson bottle in the air before he took a few gulps from it and wiped his mouth with the back of his hand. "You never know when will be your last. ‘Cause the universe is cruel like that." He hiccuped. "Rips all the good people off the Earth before they even have a chance to live."

He wobbled a step and then my legs were carrying themselves towards him before I rested a hand on his shoulder. "I think the party is over for you."

He pouted. "No," he drew the word out. "We were just getting started."

By then, his friends had started to disperse, taking a piece of cake as Jake handed them out, so it was just a quiet conversation between us.

"Reece, stop. This isn't you. I know this is a hard day for you-"

"You don't know anything," he croaked. "You've never lost someone like I have. Never been blamed for it your entire life."

My heart ached as he tilted his head up to the ceiling while wrapping an arm around me almost absentmindedly as he swayed in the spot.

He went to grab the bottle again and brought it to his lips but I snatched it off him before the liquid could touch his lips.

He scowled and dropped his gaze to me. "That was a bit rude."

"I think the party is over for you. Come on."

There was a flash of anger in his eyes as he wrinkled his nose, but he still kept his arm around me as if I was the only reason keeping him standing. "Who are you to tell me when I've had my fun? I am perfectly fine," he spat while slurring his words.

My head jerked back. I'd never seen him so angry before. I was concerned for him, knowing he was on a downward spiral and that he wasn't one to spout all his family's personal matters to anyone listening. He'd confided to me that only two people knew in his life, adding me would be three. He didn't want to have to explain that his mother died while giving birth to him. Didn't want the sympathy and ‘sorry for your loss' when he wasn't sure what he even lost, in his words. He'd never met her. Never knew what she was like or the sound of her voice or the feel of her arms around him.

Nate came to his side again, overhearing our conversation from where he was cutting up the cake.

He nodded to me as he wrapped his arm around Reece and I stepped away, making Reece's arm drop from me, the cool breeze replacing his touch.

"Come on, buddy, let's go on an adventure," Nate said, directing him around to head inside while I followed behind.

"Who would've thought you were the fun Summers," I heard Reece mumble, and it was like he was aiming to kick me in the stomach with every word he spoke. I stayed quiet as I followed their stumbling frames up the stairs.

"I'm always loads of fun," Nate quipped.

Reece scoffed but said nothing more.

I'd never been to Reece's house before but Nate walked confidently through it like he'd been there many times before. He opened a door to a bedroom I assumed was Reece's and guided Reece through the room towards another door while I lingered by the doorway to the bedroom, eyes bouncing around every detail, or lack thereof.

Nate turned his head towards me as he spoke. "You might want to stay out here. I'm putting him in the shower."

Reece turned to me then. "Why are you ruining the fun, Nate? Dakota can join if she wants."

Nate scowled and pushed him lightly into the bathroom before closing the door behind them but not before I heard him mutter, "Like hell that's happening."

I decided to sit on the bed while my eyes bounced from wall to wall, noting the bare minimum in here. A desk and gaming computer against the wall to the right of the door, the two bedside tables, and the opened wardrobe that's messily shoved with clothes and baskets of clothes yet to be put away.

There was a shriek from the bathroom that made me jump before I heard Reece's voice shout, "What the fuck, Nate? That's freezing."

And then Nate's voice boomed, "So you can sober the fuck up. The only reason I haven't kicked your ass for how you spoke to my sister and that little comment before is because you're shitfaced. So sit here and wake the fuck up before I try a different strategy."

Nate walked out of the bathroom moments after and released a sigh as he dragged a hand over his face then made his way to me and sat on the bed next to me. The drowned-out trickles of water against tiles from the bathroom and the rumbling of music broke through the silence that drew out between us. I'd never heard him stick up for me like that. Never heard him defend me or protect me. I didn't think he was that type of brother. I had thought he never really cared about what I did or what someone said to me.

"I'm sorry. Today is a lot for him and I tried to control him but he disappeared from me and by the time I found him he was already like half a bottle down."

I sighed. "I know."

Nate tilted his head to me. "You know?"

I smiled sadly. "Yeah. He told me."

Nate watched for a moment before turning his head forward. "Huh."

I tilted my head, my brows furrowed. "What do you mean, ‘huh'?"

He shook his head and leaned back against his hands. "Nothing. I just didn't know you guys were that close. He never really tells anyone about that. I mean, I only know because I saw him curled in the dugout, mid-panic attack hours after our game two years ago, and forced it out of him. That's how I first met him." He side-eyed me then and winced. "Pretend I didn't tell you that."

We sat in silence for a while before we heard the shower shut off. Nate stood but a long yawn stopped him in his tracks before he swore under his breath.

I grabbed his arm before he could go see Reece. "I can look after him. You have an early flight tomorrow and I don't want you to have no sleep before your flight back home. It's already midnight."

He shook his head. "It's okay. I'll be fine."

He tried to escape again but I pulled him back. "Nate, trust me. I can handle him. You go sleep."

His eyes bounced between my own as if trying to read more into my words, but he released a sigh and dragged a hand through his hair.

"Fine, okay." And then he pulled me into him, wrapping his arms around me. A rare occurrence between us, and I tentatively hugged him back.

He squeezed me tighter before whispering in my ear, "Please be careful around him, Dakota." I started to frown at his words, thinking it was a warning against me, but then he kept speaking. "You have a soft heart. I know you think you're like our mother, ruthless and cold-hearted, but you are more like our father than you'll ever know. He will break your heart — not the other way around."

He pulled back then and tapped the top of my head. "I'll see you when I see you," he said, before nodding towards the closed door where Reece was still behind. "And keep him in line for me. Warn him next time I see him, he better be ready for his ass kicking."

I smiled. "Thank you. I didn't take you for someone to stick up for me."

He frowned with a confused smile. "I always have, Dakota. You may not know it, but I've defended you more times than not."

I opened my mouth but closed it soon after, not knowing what to say. He took my silence as a way to flee and waved goodbye as he left.

Reece stepped out then, basketball shorts hanging low on his hips as he used his towel to dry his hair. His eyes were bloodshot as he looked at me, guilt and shame clouding them.

He looked around, noticing Nate's missing presence. "Where'd he go?"

"He has an early flight tomorrow. I sent him off."

His eyes flashed to mine again. "So you're here to look after me?"

I tilted my head. "Partially. I'm here to make sure you go to bed and stay while I send everyone home."

His lip twitched. "You gonna tuck me in too?"

I pressed my lips together. "I think you're perfectly capable of that yourself."

He chuckled as he slid into bed before groaning. "Everything is spinning."

"Good. That's what you get for being an idiot."

He's quiet for a moment and I turn to leave, but then his softly spoken words stop me. "I'm sorry."

I should have known then how true Nate's words were. That he would be the one to break my heart. Because as soon as that bare apology slipped through his lips, I was quick to forgive him. I didn't even know what exactly he was sorry for, I just forgave him.

"It's okay," I whispered back and then headed for the door.

He stopped me once again, speaking in quick succession. "You're coming back, right? You're staying over?"

I looked over my shoulder at him, noting the heaviness in his eyes and the crack in his voice that he tried to hide. It would have been impossible for me to resist him. "I'm coming right back. I'm just sending everyone home."

He relaxed back into the mattress and closed his eyes as he nodded.

It was maybe ten to fifteen minutes before the last person left. Avery and Alex had already left with Nate's help, driving them home. I sent them a text message in the group chat to apologise for the mess that night was.

I quietly closed the door to Reece's bedroom behind me, watching the slow rise and fall of his chest, already passed out.

I stole one of his shirts to dress into, not wanting to sleep in a cropped top and high-waisted jean shorts, before carefully sliding in next to him and settling with my back to him.

As if sensing me immediately, his arm reached over, hand curving over my waist before pulling me against him. He snuggled into my neck, pressing a kiss there, and released a long sigh as if he was finally able to relax.

"You are my whole world," he whispered into my ear before his breath evened out without another word.

I curled around the safety of his arm, wondering how I'd fallen so easily into them when I'd found it so hard with others.