Chapter 1

1

SIX YEARS EARLIER

Walking out of that old brick building, my high school graduate certificate in hand, I held tight to the fears of my unsure future, masking it with the hopes and excitement that matched everyone around me.

By at least fifteen, we were expected to know what we wanted to do with our lives. That we had our dreams set in stone and started taking the steps to achieve them. That we'd follow through on those dreams with the subject we took in school, either getting into university or building our interest in the path we wanted to take, and see if it was really made for us. But I was no closer to figuring that out than I was three years ago, despite our teachers telling us to start thinking about it for class selections during year eleven and twelve electives.

Emotions were high, yet I felt stuck on pause while everyone kept spinning around me. It was overwhelming, the feeling of having the safety net ripped from under us, to be told to learn how to fly or fall face-first on the ground. That we are to dust ourselves off, time and time again until we get it right. I couldn't help but think I wouldn't ever get it right.

A strong pair of hands grasped my shoulders and shook me out of the spiral I was heading down, literally. Bright, blue eyes appeared in my sight with a megawatt smile on his face and his long, blond hair sticking to the sides of his face as sweat trickled down.

"Smile, ‘Koda. It's finally over," he said with another shake of my shoulders.

Alex had been my best friend for as long as I could remember. I couldn't say how exactly we became friends. When we first met at six years old, we ran head-first into each other on the playground and declared that we hated each other. But, I would say that Avery, my other best friend, had a hand in us becoming friends with her authoritative yet friendly approach. Even at that age, she had been bossy and an absolute spitfire.

The two of them were like the devil and the angel on my shoulder, the mischievous one and the responsible one.

Avery was more like the mum of the group, always taking care of us in our times of need and scolding us for the stupid things we did. She made sure that we had everything we needed in the days leading up to our departure. She was our protector, our saviour, the one we counted on the most. It was like it was ingrained in her being to care. She kept us in line but could sometimes find it in herself – with some peer pressure from us – to let her hair down every once in a while after she had three or so drinks in her. When she does let loose, that responsible, put-together person would be nowhere to be seen. She knew how to party.

And I couldn't wait to see that side of her more during that coming week away in Airlie Beach for schoolies.

It was an event put together for high school graduates to celebrate the end of their schooling, practically, by getting shit- faced all week while at the beach and partying to DJs sets. The Gold Coast was the main event that seemed to always get out of hand.

We had lived near the Gold Coast all our lives, so we'd been there many times before. We decided a change of scenery was what we needed, so we booked our week in Airlie Beach.

Avery pushed through the group of people next to us, smiling as she reached us. "There you guys are. There's way too many people here." She frowned as she looked around the field, all the families and recent graduates littered around in groups, taking photos.

"Come on," Alex coaxed. "Everyone's probably looking for us."

We took hold of each other's hands while we pushed through the crowd. Nerves bubbled inside me as I wondered if I would find my mother in the search, hoping she had it in herself to attend and see me graduate.

Since I was seven, she was hardly a part of my life, but I still yearned for her attention and presence. It started just before my parent's divorce when she favoured her job over her children. She skipped birthdays and any other holiday. I liked to pretend it didn't affect me, but I missed having a mother who I could ask for advice or a shoulder to lean on.

It was part of the reason my parents divorced. Dad would be doing everything for us while Mum would be holed up at work. They fought a lot about her absence from us before it finally led to divorce. But it only limited her presence even more. We were forced to spend every second weekend in an empty house with broken promises of dinners or lunches. When I had the choice at sixteen, I stopped visiting her to avoid those empty promises and spending my weekends alone there.

But I still held hope that she would reach out and ask if I wanted to spend time with her. Every time she would call me, I would try to arrange something, but every time I would be disappointed with another ‘Maybe another time' or ‘I'm too busy right now, Dakota'. The one time we did organise a lunch together, she ended up not showing, claiming to have forgotten.

I should have known I would be disappointed yet again when I spotted my family through the crowd. By the look on my brother's face – like a mirror image as he stood next to Dad – I knew that no matter how much I searched, I wouldn't find her there. I was still so naive to think she would realign her priorities to watch me graduate.

My brother, Nate, told me as I reached him, "I'm sorry, Dakota, I just got off the phone with her. She had an important meeting. Some crisis needed attention."

I felt stupid. All I wanted was for my mother to pay attention to me, to share my accomplishments with her, and to have her look at me and be proud of all the things I had achieved.

But looking over at my dad, you would think I didn't need her support with the way he supported me. He cheered me on from the sidelines and never faltered when I asked for advice or told him something embarrassing. He was always there for me and was the solid shoulder I could cry and lean on.

His arms cocooned me in his comforting, warm embrace as my disappointment dwindled. "Look at you, finally a high school graduate."

His smile was so infectious. You could never not smile when my dad did. It was bright – unrelenting. It was the balm that soothed the reopened wound of being reminded I wasn't anywhere near the top of my mother's priorities. It was all I needed. He had always been my rock. He taught me all I know.

"I'm proud of you, chook. I hope you know that," he assured as he squeezed my shoulder.

I hugged my brother next. We never really hugged very often. We showed affection through a smile or a thumbs up here and there, but I felt a hug was needed — what I needed. He traveled from Noosa to see me graduate and for my birthday in a couple of weeks. I would never say it to his face, but I appreciated that. I loved him for it.

In the heat of the summer air newly graduated, I knew that the people standing with me were all I needed in my life. I wasn't sure what was ahead of me, but I knew for sure that I could face it with them by my side.

"Sunscreen?"

"Yep."

"Hat?"

"Yes."

"Phone charger?"

"Yes, Dad. Stop worrying. If I forgot anything, I'll just buy it."

He sighed as he stood on the other side of the counter in the kitchen, holding his coffee cup to his lips as he took a sip. He watched on as I lugged my suitcase to sit by the front door, ready to leave as soon as I had breakfast. Anxiety swirled in his eyes over the brim of his coffee cup and I waited for him to continue as I made my own cup of coffee, hoping it would shake me out of the drowsy and queasy feeling I had after my night out celebrating.

"I can't help but worry, chook. I'm your father. I'm meant to worry, especially when you're going to be thousands of kilometres away for a week. The house will be too quiet without you," he said.

Spending the week in Airlie Beach was like an impulse buy for us three to celebrate our completion of schooling away from home. A way for us to leave our stresses behind, let go, and have fun. As if we hadn't been doing the same for the past week leading up to graduation. A pre-celebration, if you will. Dad was almost reluctant to let me go.

Originally, we had decided to skip it because they were usually not as tame as they were meant to be. It can get very rowdy and out of control quickly when you put a bunch of hormonal teenagers in the same place with the influence of underage drinking and adrenaline. But I had always wanted to go to Airlie Beach to walk across the famous white sand of Whitehaven Beach and meander my way through the street markets. The main reason, however, was the cause of my phone buzzing all morning with texts upon texts. It was more communication than I had ever received in the past month or even year from my mother. All of which I have ignored, not in the mood for one of her lectures.

I flipped my phone over and switched it to silent as I focused back on Dad.

"You'll have Nate around so it won't be that quiet. He makes more noise than I do."

He shrugged. "Maybe, but I'll still miss you."

I rolled my eyes. "It's only a week, Dad. Calm down. It's not forever."

His lips twitched up into an amused grin as he came around the island bench towards me before wrapping his arm around the top of my head, messing the top of my hair. I squeaked before mumbling a drawn-out Dad under my breath.

He pressed a kiss to my hair before whispering, "Have I told you how proud I am of you lately?"

I chuckled. "Many times now."

And I meant many times. I kept count. Five times throughout the whole day and the day before. One of them with tears in his eyes as he watched me enter the lounge room in my pearl silk gown, ready for formal.

He used to always write little positive notes in my lunch bag to make me smile during school. He would also have the exact right words to say to cheer me up when we were having a bad day.

There's nothing the man couldn't do. He was a carpenter by trade, constantly building and renovating things around the house when he was looking for change, always including us in the process. I was fascinated by everything he did and the way he explained how to build things. He even built us a treehouse when Nate and I were eleven and eight. Though Nate thought it was childish, I think he secretly used it more than me.

We made the long trip to the airport after finishing our breakfast, picking up Avery and Alex on the way. The personalised CD I made Dad for Father's Day the year prior softly played through the speakers. He had it playing all the time in his car since I made it for him. Dad would never admit that he was the sentimental type. I mean, he had a glass cabinet in his room filled with things both Nate and I have made for him since we were kids. Cards, little houses made of popsicle sticks, clay houses we made in art, paintings, and every single award we had won in school. When it came to his kids, he kept everything of ours.

After three laps around the airport drop-off zone, Dad pulled up at the front and started unloading our bags for us. The stubble across his face cast a shadow on him, making him look older than his forty-nine years, but it didn't do anything to hide the anxiety in his eyes. He was more anxious than I was about spending a week more than twelve hours away.

His brown eyes shifted to mine as I rounded the car. He smiled before beckoning me into his arms. It's always been a safe zone for me. Whenever I was scared, overwhelmed, or sad, he'd put his arms around me, and all the pressure felt like it disappeared, as did his reassuring words.

"Please be safe. Remember I'm always a phone call away if need be. But I want you to have fun. That's most important. I expect to see heaps of photos when you come back," he said as he squeezed what felt like the life out of me.

"Dad. Can't breathe," I choked out before he smacked a loud kiss to the top of my head, finally letting me go.

"That also goes for you two. Be safe and have fun." He pointed to Alex and Avery.

They answered at the same time, "Of course."

"I don't know if we can do both, sir," Alex said mischievously.

Dad narrowed his eyes at Alex who grinned back. He pointed to Avery then. "You are the voice of reason. Make sure they both come back in one piece."

Avery beamed at that, proud to be labelled the responsible one.

"I'm right here, Dad. I'm responsible."

He rolled his eyes. "Yeah, sure."

I shoved his arm and he cracked, smiling at me while dragging me in for one last hug. After a few moments of worrying, he climbed into the car and drove away.

Finally alone, it felt like reality was finally setting in on all of us as we grinned at each other, excited for the week to come.

But the excitement of spending a week away from home was just the start of everything that summer, everything falling like dominoes around me. Because when I turned and scanned my eyes around the airport, bouncing over the people rushing around, they landed on familiar green eyes. Green eyes that I had missed swimming in. Green eyes I dreamed of when the comfort and familiarity of them disappeared from my life. Green eyes that I thought I had seen the last of.

But there he was, smiling at me like he always did, surprise etched on his face like he wasn't sure I was real. And I think I probably looked the same.

"Summers?"

I was left stunned, reeling in the confusion and surprise of seeing him again after nine months of radio silence.

"Reece?"