Chapter 8

The offer of Merrick’s lasagne is enough to get me out of the house in this terrible weather. I haven’t had it for way too long, and he knows how much I love it. I think he wants some backup because the mysterious Ivan is coming too. Apparently, he’s been back a few days.

The door to Willow’s room clicks quietly shut as I leave the room and head back downstairs. In the kitchen, a man with wavy, dirty blond hair stands with his broad back to me. That must be Ivan. As I get closer, the air seems to crackle, and goosebumps spread over my arms. What the heck?

“She’s fast asleep, Merr.”

The broad back stiffens, and he turns around. Everything comes to a screaming halt.

In front of me is the man I’ve been dreaming about, the man who made my body sing in a way no one ever has and whose calloused hands brought me to climax as many times as his impressive dick. How? How the hell can it be him? I saw him in the pub garden in the summer. Has he known? Did he recognise me, and had he planned this? Is it his way of hurting Merrick?

Fuck! Fuck! Fuck!

“You must be Brodie.” His face is expressionless. He doesn’t recognise me. How’s that possible after everything I’ve dreamt about? I’ve lain awake, wondering what it would be like if we ever met again. I imagined us being thrilled, overjoyed at the chance to get to know each other.

I hold out my hand, proud that it’s strong and sure, nothing like the frantic panic in my head. “In the flesh. It’s good to meet you, Ivan.”

As our hands touch, the spark that hit me in the club is back. It tingles up my arm and spreads warmth through my body. “And you, Brodie. I’ve heard great things about you. I’m sure it’s not been the same for you.” He smirks. The fucker. He does remember, but he’s not going to do or say anything. For him, I was nothing but an easy lay. He probably did it every weekend. For me, it was everything I’d been missing. I’d found who I am and who I want to be because of that night.

When he lets go of my hand, I step past him farther into the room. “Thanks, Brodie,” Merrick says. “She should be down for the night now. Beer or wine?”

“Whatever everyone else is having.”

Merlin walks over to Ivan. Is he going to tell him about me? But no, they’re talking something about forestry conservation.

I tune them out and accept the beer Merrick hands me. “Thanks. What happened? He apologised?”

“Yeah, Drew went round just as Ivan was coming here. They talked it over. Something else happened, but Drew hasn’t told me what. Said something about not his story to tell. I hate that, don’t you?”

“What do you think it is?” I take a long swig of my beer, my eyes on Ivan. He’s looking at me. Does he think Merrick’s talking about him? Or that I’m telling Merrick about us? I’m hardly going to say Ivan is my mystery man. That he gave me the best night of my life, that just looking at him has my dick pulsing. I don’t want to think or talk about him again. I’m a fool for ever thinking it was something special for him too.

“Brodie.” Merrick’s voice breaks my gaze. “You okay?”

“Of course.”

Drew walks up to Merrick, kisses his temple, and says something I can’t hear. Although I’m thrilled Merrick has a new life with Drew, I’m jealous of the way they touch each other, that they always end up close to one another. Drew can’t keep his hands off my friend, and Merrick shines when he looks at him. Yeah, I want that.

“Dinner’s ready.” Merrick opens one of the doors on the range oven he’s always wanted. The aroma of the lasagne makes my mouth water.

“I haven’t had one of your lasagnes in way too long,” I moan. Merrick looks at me, his eyes full of sorrow, and I want to kick myself. The last time was when Josh was still alive, and we had a red wine-fuelled drunken dinner party. “I’m sorry, Merr.”

“Don’t be silly. It’s fine.” He smiles softly. He remembers it too. “Go sit down. I’ll bring it over to the table.”

Although he has a dining room, he prefers to be informal and eat in the kitchen. Drew opens a couple of bottles of wine and places them in the middle of the table. Ivan shuffles his feet like he doesn’t know where to sit. Merlin doesn’t have such qualms and takes the chair opposite me. He picks up a bottle and fills all the glasses.

The only chair left is the one next to me, but I still stiffen when the legs scrape over the floor, and Ivan sits beside me.

Bowls of salad and garlic bread get placed next to the wine, leaving a space for the huge dish Merrick carries over. Everyone groans at the sight of the rich, bubbling cheese-covered delight.

“I expect everyone here to be at the running group tomorrow. This is going to be worth every mile you have to run off.” I point to Drew, Merrick, and Merlin, then turn to Ivan. “Do you run? You can come along too.”

“Drew mentioned something about it. Maybe I will.” His bright blue eyes sparkle. “I’ll need an energetic way to work off all these calories. What else do you do other than run?”

His words remind me of the energetic ways we burnt our energy when we were locked in his hotel room. My cheeks heat, and I duck my head. He chuckles quietly, seemingly proud of my reaction. The bastard.

Merlin looks at me with a glint in his eye and a minute smirk lifting the corner of his mouth. He probably thinks we’re flirting. He couldn’t be further from the truth. Ivan is going to make this a game and taunt and tease me without mentioning a word about that night.

But there’s no way I’ll give in to him. I can give as good as I get. If he wants to play the strangers game, I can too. It’s going to be hard to relate my dreams, awake and asleep, to the man sitting next to me. Half an hour ago, he was nameless, and I lost myself in the memory of us. Now I don’t even know how much of it is real. My imagination of reuniting with him had run wild, especially after a subscription to Sean Cody. I learnt plenty more about gay sex. Instead of how much I loved his touch, the sound of his husky voice as he climaxed, I’m facing a man who’s trying to mess with my head.

“Well, this is a surprise. I didn’t think I’d ever see you again.” Ivan leans in. The others are laughing over something I didn’t catch and aren’t paying enough attention to us.

“Neither did I, yet here we are,” I say coldly. I don’t want to talk to him.

“Here we are. I didn’t think a man I met in a gay nightclub in London would have popped up in this little town. Did you recognise me, know who I was?”

“Obviously not. Why would I? I hardly noticed you when I was here before.” My temper is beginning to fray, and I can’t wait to leave. One more smirk from him and I’m outta here.

“Ouch! That’s brutal.” Yep, he’s laughing at me.

“What are you two talking about?” Merrick asks, and I jerk away from Ivan.

“A band I saw when I was away.” The lie rolls easily from his tongue. Oh, he’s good at this.

“That’s one thing I miss about London. The shows, exhibitions, the live bands. We used to go out a lot, didn’t we, Brodie? That was pre-Willow, of course.”

It was also pre-cancer and Josh’s death, but it doesn’t need to be said. I’m not sure how much Ivan and Merlin know, but tonight isn’t the night to explain.

Merrick continues enthusiastically. “We ought to go up to London, Drew. We can see Kitty and go out on the town. What do you think?” He looks happy again, truly happy, and I know Drew will give him whatever he wants.

The conversation switches, and soon we’re all talking about everything and nothing. The wine flows, and food is devoured as the evening gets later and later.

A cry comes from upstairs, and Merrick and Drew get up from the table. I take this as my chance to leave and stand up quietly.

When we’re in the hall, I put my hand on Merrick’s arm. “Thanks for a great evening. I’m going to head home.”

“Oh, okay. Is everything okay?”

Now that’s the million-dollar question.