Chapter 40

The house is seriously quiet without Ivan and Milo. At five months, he’s finding his personality, and while that’s so much fun, it’s nice sometimes to have an empty house. Sarah is a regular visitor and rarely goes more than a couple of days without seeing her grandson. Her love for him is endless, as is her patience. Seeing her with him shows me what my mum is missing out on. Yeah, Milo’s not my flesh and blood, but he’s probably the only chance I’ll get at being a father. I treat him as if he’s my own, as does everyone else. But I still haven’t heard anything from my parents, and I’ve accepted they’re not going to be a part of my life.

It”s another gorgeous summer’s day, and the town is overflowing with holidaymakers and weekend homeowners. Ivan’s house is booked solid through the summer months and plenty of autumn weekends too. The rent gives Ivan a decent chunk of money to put away, but with Merlin trying to get him to join in on a business venture, I’m not sure much will be left if he decides to go ahead.

Work on the first barn is in full progress. The walls have been rebuilt, and they have started to fix the roof. The interior is still bare, but having it watertight by the end of the summer is crucial.

There’s a knock on my open office door. “Hey, Brode, how’s it going?”

I swivel my chair away from the window. Merrick holds a cup of coffee in each hand, the That Seagull logo on the side. “It’s going good. The building work is going faster than I thought. Your man sure knows what he’s doing and has a great workforce.”

Merrick has something tucked under his arm. It looks like a wedding magazine. “Oh my god, are you and Drew getting married?”

A puzzled look crosses his face. “What? Oh no. This”—he places the coffees on my desk and pulls the magazine free—“is for you. Check out the centre pages.”

I dutifully open the magazine. The headline reads ‘Britain’s Top Ten Wedding Venues’.

“Now look at number three.” He bounces on his heels as if he wants to rip the magazine from me to get to the right page. “There. Look.” He points at a stunning barn renovation amid a field full of wildflowers.

“It’s beautiful, but I don’t get why you’re showing it to me.”

“Because, dumbass, this is what you should be doing with the second barn. Do you have any idea how much weddings cost or the prices venues charge? Thousands. A damn sight more than you can make letting office space, that’s for sure.”

I’m surprisingly not horrified at the idea, although I wouldn’t know how to go about it, what the requirements of a wedding venue are. But it wouldn’t be too difficult to find these things out. We do have a gorgeous setting with plenty of space for marquees. “It’s not a bad idea.”

Merrick looks at me aghast. “Not a bad idea? It’s an amazing one. I wish I had the opportunity to do it. And while you have Drew and his crew here, there’s no real reason for you to turn it down.”

As usual, Merrick is running full speed ahead. He’s always been like that. Once he has an idea, he won’t let it drop until it happens. He was exactly the same with his gallery.

“I’ll talk to Ivan, see what he says. And I’ll need to research the hows and whys. But thanks, Merr, it is a good idea.” I tap the magazine. “Can I keep this?”

“Sure. Anyway, I’ve got to go. I need to be at the gallery. Drew’s got Willow. Ivan and Merlin are off looking at some land, and they can’t take her with them.”

And with that, he leaves.

I flick through the magazine, reading the article on the venues. Some of these places are stunning, but is it because they’ve been decorated for the event? What would they look like empty? I go to all the websites, browsing through all the packages they offer. Bloody hell, people spend some serious money on weddings.

I peer out the window and back at my computer. I can see the barn looking as beautiful as the photographs.

What will Ivan think?

“Hey, babe. Where are you?” Ivan calls out from the kitchen.

“In the office,” I shout back and push out of my chair. “Where’s Milo?”

The smile he gives me is the one that makes my stomach flip-flop as his dimples pop out. “I asked Mum to have him for the whole night. The. Whole. Night. So we’re having a date night, a couple of pints, some food, and a conversation that doesn’t revolve around our son. How does that sound?”

I love it when he calls Milo our son, that I’m as much Milo’s father as he is. I can think about that later. Right now my mind is whirring at the thought of spending the night with my man. “As in, go out and socialise, like with real people? And we don’t have to wipe baby sick from our clothes or eat one-handed? Where do I sign?” I wrap my arms around his waist.

He laughs. “Yep, all that. And do you know what the best part is? When we get home, we can have very loud and very dirty sex.”

After a shower and a change of clothes, I’m ready. “Are we meeting up with anyone?” I don’t mind if we are because we have the house to ourselves when we get home. The wedding venue idea pops back into my thoughts. “I’ve got something to talk to you about. Merrick called around today. He had an idea for the other barn. I’ve had a quick research session this afternoon, but I will need to do a lot more.”

“I’m intrigued.” Ivan takes my hand as we leave the house. “Do you want to drive?”

“Not really. It’s a nice evening. We can walk. It’s not even a mile. Are we meeting up with anyone?”

“I’m sure some of them will be out, but this night is for us.”

“What’s got into you? I’m not complaining, but you seem different. Has something happened and you’re softening me up before you give me the bad news?” I make my tone light-hearted, but I’m a little worried. Everything has been perfect or as perfect as being new parents can be. Has he heard from, or something about, Kate?

Ivan stops walking, halting me alongside him. “No, babe. It’s something my mum said, and it made me realise we were heading that way.”

“What did she say?” Dread seeps in, and I pull my hand to get free of his grip, but he tightens it and steps closer to me.

“She said I had to remember that I’m more than just a dad. I’m a partner as well as a father, and I shouldn’t forget that side of my life. I have a feeling I’m guilty of this—with you, neglecting you. Which is why she’s having Milo for the night.”

Oh! I never expected him to say that. Have we been neglecting each other? Yeah, probably. “We’ve had so much to learn and think about that we’re both guilty of this, love.” I press a kiss to his lips.

“But you could leave if I don’t give you enough, if you feel unimportant. I can’t, because I will always have Milo.”

“I’m not going to leave, Ivan. I love you too much to even think of not being with you. The idea hurts too much.”

“I’ve put a downer on the evening already, haven’t I?” He sighs.

“No way. You promised me loud and dirty sex tonight. I’ll make sure you don’t forget.”

“Tell me why I thought going out was a good idea.”