Chapter 12

I sit down gingerly, refusing to look at Ivan because I know he’s got a smug grin on his face. “Fuck off.” But I’m smiling.

He leans across the small table in That Seagull. “Maybe you shouldn’t beg for harder and more.”

“Maybe I should do it to you next,” I murmur. Ivan’s eyes darken, and he licks his lip. “You like that idea.”

“I do.” Before he can say anything more, Benny turns up with our orders. Ivan rubs his hands at his full English breakfast. “This is exactly what I need after burning so many calories today.”

“What are your plans for the day? I need to collect my car from Merrick’s.”

The door pings, and a rush of cold air blows in as more customers enter. It’s Merrick, Drew, and Willow. “Talk of the devil,” I mutter. Ivan looks over his shoulder.

“Is this a problem?”

Is it? I’m more than happy to be seen with him. Merrick hasn’t noticed us yet. Drew, on the other hand, has. He smiles at me, then frowns when he sees I’m with his best friend. He nudges Merrick and whispers something to him.

“Brodie,” Ivan says, and I snap my eyes back to him. “Is it?”

I shake my head. “Not for me. Are you okay with it? I mean, I’m not planning to tell them about our private life, but they’re going to want to know why we’re here together.”

“Nosy bastards. We don’t have to explain anything, only that we bumped into each other here.” He grins and starts to eat.

I dig in my breakfast too. I’m counting how long it will take them to come and say hello. I get to five when Merrick stands next to me. “Great minds think alike, right?”

“Willow demanded French toast fingers. I called around the cottage. I thought you might want a lift back to pick up your car. Hi, Ivan.” Merrick gives us both a smile, but it’s a curious one. He’s trying to work out how and why I’m here with Ivan. And how to ask without being too blatantly nosy.

“I’ll come and get it later if that’s okay. Is yours still there too, Ivan? We can walk up together.”

Ivan nods. “The exercise will do me good after eating this. Unless you’re going to make good on your threat and make all of us run.”

Drew laughs as he carries Willow past us to the counter. “I’m not going anywhere else today. It’s an indoor day. Isn’t that right, Miss Willow?” He turns to me. “I wondered where you were when I called round, mate. The offer was for both of you to collect your cars.”

“Now you’ve found me.” Ivan doesn’t say anything else. Instead, he continues eating and points to my plate. “Don’t let it get cold.” He winks.

Merrick frowns. “I thought you said you had an early start, Brodie?”

“I did. That’s why I’m only just getting breakfast now. Unlike you lot, I made sure I burnt off all the calories from your indulgent, totally worth-it lasagne.”

Ivan snorts but quickly changes it to a cough. I kick his foot to make him stop. Luckily, neither of our friends seem to catch on.

“You put us all to shame, Brode.” Merrick pulls on Drew’s arm. “Come on, this one isn’t going to stay quiet for long.” He wiggles his daughter’s foot. “Call in if you want when you come to get the cars. Drew’s right. We don’t have any plans.”

They weave through the tables and sit at one that will seat the three of them. “Bye-bye, Bodie.” Willow waves at me.

“She’s kinda cute.” Ivan chuckles.

“She is. I remember when they brought her home from hospital. I’ve never seen such proud parents.”

“It must be weird seeing them with a new man. I’m guessing the other guy died. I saw you on the beach with Chinese lanterns.”

“Josh? Yeah, lung cancer. It was brutal.”

“Damn. When did it happen?”

I frown. I don’t want to talk about it, especially not with Merrick on the other side of the room. “Two years last summer. Do you want kids?”

“Someday I like kids, but I’m still too big a child myself to have them yet.” He smiles.

We finish our breakfast, and after paying and a wave to Merrick, Drew, and Willow, we walk out. The cold December weather whips around us, taking my breath away. “God, it’s cold. Shall we go and get the cars now? I don’t fancy coming out again.” I wrap my scarf tighter around my neck.

He nods, and we make our way through the town and up the hill on the other side. Talking isn’t an option, as we conserve our energy to get there as quickly as possible. When we finally make it to the house, I’ve warmed up.

I lean against my car. “You didn’t say what plans you have for today.”

“I usually just hang around with mates at the pub, or if the waves are good, I go surfing.” Ivan fidgets, looking awkward, unsure.

Shit. Of course he has plans. This has been his home all his life, and he probably has family here. We’ve done too much too soon, and now he needs to get away. I can deal with that. I was happy before he showed up. I enjoyed everything we did last night and this morning, but we haven’t given us a label. Maybe there won’t be one. Maybe we’ve both fucked each other out of our systems. The intensity of the first time was still there last night. Or was it alcohol fuelled? It’s too late to find out.

“Okay, have a great day.” I click the button on the key fob and open my door. “See you soon. Don’t forget to try my running group on Wednesday.”

When I get in the car, Ivan still hasn’t moved to get in his. I open my window. “Thanks for a good time.”

I drive away quickly, not wanting him to see the pain on my face. As soon as I get in the cottage, I strip the bedding, taking away the chance of burrowing in the sheets and pillows that still have his scent all over them.

A loud hammering on the door startles me. What the fuck? Is it Merrick? Has something happened? I throw the bedding into the kitchen, rush to the front door, and yank it open.

Ivan.

“What’s wrong?”

He stands with his hands balled, his jaw set firm, and his lips pressed so hard together they’re a thin line.