7. Ember

Chapter 7

"If you keep this up, we're never going to actually get to sparring," Leander growls at me. From underneath my legs, where I have him pinned.

I smirk at him, wiggling my hips against his currently hardening length. "Yeah? What are you gonna do about it?"

Leander's eyes flash. He lets out a low growl, then I feel his muscles tense underneath me. I giggle as he flips me over and then gasp as he grinds down into me.

"I think I have something to say about it," he snarls as he nips at my ear.

I moan, arching up to meet him.

We should probably stop. I need to take Leander down to the stupid alpha's office, as promised, because this morning, when we woke up…

Yeah. Neither one of us wanted him to leave.

My excuse was that his memories still haven't returned, and I don't feel safe putting him back out into the world with the type of amnesia he probably has. It's a flimsy excuse.

But I called out of work, and before we went to the alpha's office, I said we should spar in Rylan's gym because I know no one is there right now, and now…

Leander grinds down on me again, and I don't even hide my moan.

"Leander," I pant as he leans down to kiss my neck again. "Leander, I…"

"Oh, my goodness. Ember? Who the hell is that?"

In a flash, Leander is up and off of me. He stares at the two people who have just walked into the room, and not in a good way. He's about two seconds away from puffing up and into his wolf form and going for their throats. Which would be a problem, since the two people in question are my best friend and her mate.

"Hi, Terra," I say, smoothly getting up and stepping in front of Leander. "Rylan."

"Hey, Ember," Rylan says while pushing Terra behind him.

"This is Leander." I wave at him.

I look at Terra, giving her an eyebrow that I hope communicates a very strong don't-ask-please-just-roll-with-it vibe.

She shakes her head and sighs but puts on a smile. "Hi, Leander. I'm Ember's best friend in the whole world, Terra, and this is my mate, Rylan."

"And this is my gym," Rylan growls. "Which you were about to get dirtier than I could ever clean."

"Sorry, Ry," I say, genuinely apologetic. I didn't intend to start dry-humping Leander on the gym floor. But I did it, anyway.

"We're really glad to meet you," Terra says brightly.

Leander blinks but relaxes slightly. "Nice to meet you as well."

"So, I'm guessing that this is the cousin you told Evander about?" Terra says primly.

I blush. "Okay. Well. If it's not obvious, he's not my cousin."

"You don't say," Rylan adds dryly.

"Yeah. I mean…" I look at Leander. I want to tell them most of the truth, but it's his story. Not mine.

Leander gives me a little nod. I love that he seems to be able to just read my thoughts. Decision made, I turn back to Terra and Rylan.

"Okay, so remember a while ago, how there was like a weird noise outside of the gym?"

They exchange a glance. "No. You were the only one who could hear that. Remember?" Terra says softly.

Ugh. "Yeah, well. I went for a hike. It was windy. The wind knocked down a tree, and Leander was almost squished underneath said tree."

Terra gasps. "How did you get out?"

I shuffle. "Um. Well. I lifted the tree off of him."

You could hear a pin drop, which is saying something, because the floor is covered in like four inches of rubberized flooring.

"How big of a tree was it?"

Awkwardly, I look away. "You know. Tree sized."

"Ember…" Terra says, the worry evident in her voice.

"It's not important. What is important is that I found him and got him out, and he's healed, but he doesn't have any memories of the last few months," I rush. "So I was keeping him around to make sure that he didn't, like… have his brain turn to mush or anything."

"Mush," Terra repeats slowly.

This whole time, Leander has slowly been inching backward until we're standing side by side. I lean toward him. We aren't exactly holding hands, but I can feel the heat radiating off of him, and it's… nice. Heartening. It makes me feel less alone, which is something in itself.

"So then you had a confrontation with Evander. Then, instead of bringing him to Thorne, you decided to make out on my gym floor?" Rylan rumbles.

Oh. Shit.

Rylan's position in the pack isn't super solid. He was outcast for a while, and I know that he is back in after the whole thing with the fight club, but I also know that he's not exactly looking for reasons to toe the line. He's probably actually upset about this.

"Rylan. I'm sorry," I say honestly. "I'm really not trying to pick a fight. The alpha's office wasn't open yet, and we just decided to come here and spar beforehand."

"And then you got a little out of control," Terra says, calmly running her hand up and down her mate's arm.

Well. That's one way to put it. "Yeah. Really, we're on our way to the alpha. I didn't mean any harm, and I swear I'm not trying to do anything to get in your way."

Rylan looks Leander up and down. He squares his shoulders. "Where are you from?"

"Florida."

"Why are you here?"

"Honestly, I have no idea," Leander says. But it's different than all the other times he's said he doesn't know why he's here. For some reason, I detect the smallest little fissure of doubt in his voice.

Huh.

Rylan looks between the two of us. His eyes narrow. "Just get out of my gym," he growls.

Terra punches him lightly in the arm, but that's fine. I'd take a grumpy Rylan over one that's trying to fight Leander. I'd hate to have to put my best friend's mate into a sleeper hold or something.

"We're gone. I'll talk to you later, Terra," I say to my friend. She gives me a little wave, then turns to admonish Rylan while I grab Leander's hand and tug him out. Giggling, we rush into the road.

"Holy shit," I breathe as I turn and look back. "I thought Rylan was going to start a fight."

"He'd be stupid to do that," Leander says with a little smile. "My guess is that you're more than a match for him."

I am. And, for the first time, I'm not afraid of that. I'm not ashamed. The hint of pride in Leander's voice makes me feel proud. Of myself.

I throw my arms around him and land a huge, smacking kiss on his lips. Leander's fingers tangle in my hair, and he deepens the kiss until we're both gasping.

I break away first, fighting hard against the lust simmering through me. "We have to bring you to the alpha," I murmur.

Leander, his gray eyes dark, nods. "Sure. Yeah. Whatever you want, Ember."

He slips his hand in mine, and my heart feels like it's soaring.

I've walked this way plenty. I've moved around the pack plenty. But this is the first time ever that I truly feel like I'm part of something.

For the first time, with my hand in Leander's, I feel like I belong.

The meeting with Thorne is surprisingly easy. Evander isn't there, which I'm pleased about because I think he's a dick, and Thorne is very kind to Leander. I still introduce Leander as my cousin, because it seems like the right move.

Probably not a good plan to lie to Alpha Thorne, but oh, well. He asks what pack Leander is from, presumably to call his alpha, and then tells us that Leander has one week before Thorne will ask him to leave, or he can petition Thorne to become part of the pack.

Leander is polite, deferential, and overall, the whole thing is done in less than twenty minutes. I still, however, feel weirdly bubbly after we leave.

Once we get back to the cabin, Leander grabs us two beers, and we sit on the porch. The sun is just starting to get low and dip behind the mountains, and the cold beer is incredibly refreshing.

I turn to look at him. "Okay, I definitely feel like I got called to the principal's office and then didn't get in trouble."

He laughs. "Were you in trouble a lot as a kid?"

"Oh, hell yes. My aunt literally couldn't keep me out of that office."

"I could see it." He smiles.

I nod. "Sometimes I think… I don't know. I wonder if it would have been different. If my mom raised me, or my dad was around."

"You don't remember your mom at all?"

I shake my head. "No. My aunt used to tell me all the time that I look like her, though."

"Yeah. You look just like her," he murmurs.

It's a tiny comment. The smallest possible thing that he could say. But it echoes through my mind like a thunderclap.

Slowly, I turn. I put down my beer and move so that I'm staring at him.

"What did you say?"

Leander blinks. "That you probably look like your mom. I'd imagine so," he says in a completely calm voice.

It doesn't smell like he's lying. His heart isn't beating any faster. I can't sense that he's sweating or upset or anything like that. Maybe I did hear him wrong.

Slowly, I settle back in my chair. I grab my beer and hold it up to my lips. "There's a neurologist in Steamboat Springs. She's a witch, so she's kind of adjacent to our world. She can get you checked out. For your memory," I add.

"Okay," Leander says softly.

"I'll call tomorrow to see if there's an appointment."

The silence feels like it's digging claws into us. I can practically feel it squeezing around my heart.

I want Leander to say no. To protest and say that he wants to stay here and petition Thorne to be part of the pack.

I want him to explain more about why he said I look just like my mother. There's no way he could know that. Hell, I don't even know that. I have one picture of her and my dad together. It's one of those small pictures that comes in a long strip, like from a photo booth. In it, they both look ridiculously happy. It must have been taken from the date they went on that resulted in me, and there's a frayed edge on one side like someone ripped it off of another picture. There's a crease over the man's face, so I can't really see what he looks like, but I can see my mom and the broad smile on his lips as he looks at her.

My aunt refused to talk about my mom. So, it's all I have of hers.

The picture is hidden deep in my sock drawer, underneath a box of other random things that I always keep on top of it so that if someone were to rob me, they'd take the junk first and leave the real treasure behind. Has Leander been going through my things?

Questions swirl around me. Why the hell did I find him in the woods? What was he doing there?

The doubts feel like they're gnawing at me. I don't have a good answer for any of them, and that's even worse, because I feel like I don't know what questions to ask.

What the hell is Leander doing here?

"Thank you," he says, finally. "It would be nice to at least know what I'm up against, to recover my memories and all that."

I glance over at him, then quickly look away.

"Yeah," I murmur. "That would be good."

We sip our beers in silence. The mountains rustle and shift around us, but nothing feels as restless as my heart.

Underneath all my doubts, there's something even more terrifying. Fear.

I'm afraid of what Leander knows about me. What he doesn't know. What he's here for.

But mostly, I'm afraid that once again, I found someone who I thought would care about me. Someone who I thought I belonged with.

I'm afraid that this time, just like every other time, it's all a lie. I can handle myself, and I'm not worried about Leander hurting me.

I'm worried about him leaving after everything's said and done. It will hurt, but the leaving is what I'm most afraid of. Because if Leander breaks my heart and leaves, then I'll be alone.

Again.