Chapter Thirty

Chapter Thirty

Annabell

ALMOST A WEEK has passed since I left Pine View and Alex behind. I miss him every single day and want to be there for him as he heals and starts recovering from the shot, surgery, and his shoulder. Instead, I ran home and now I won't let anyone near me. My mom and Savannah try every single day when they randomly show up. Yeah, I let them in the door, but I don't talk about what's going on with me or why I'm suddenly back in Benton Falls instead of Pine View. Savannah has decided to leave me alone for the most part, but my mom will never leave me alone for any reason. I've woken up to her in bed with me, reading or playing on her phone as I sleep from crying once again. That's all I seem to do these days and I hate it. Shy usually just lets me cry on her shoulder, but the last two days she's been trying to get me to open up to her and I refuse. The next person who finds out about the baby and everything going on in my mind will be Alex and no one else.

Today, I'm trying to get out of bed, but I don't really see it happening. Not for too long anyway. I push the covers back and climb from bed, exhaustion filling me because at the end of the day, I'm really not sleeping even when I go to bed or fall asleep with tears rolling down my face. Making my way to the bathroom, I take care of business after starting the shower and letting it heat up. I know I can't have the water as hot as I typically like it, but I do let it get just slightly hotter than normal because I won't stay in for long. I'm going to shower and get out. I'm in desperate need of a shower because all I've been doing is soaking under the water to hide my tears from myself. If I can't feel them rolling down my face, then I can pretend I'm not full of pain every single day with the thought of leaving Alex behind like he did to me five years ago. No, I'm not paying him back or anything like that. I just want to give him the room he needs to heal and move on with his life while I try to do the same.

Placing a hand on my still flat stomach, I look down and imagine myself getting bigger and round with our baby. A tear drips onto my hand as I strip off my clothes and step in the shower. The warm water runs over me and I close my eyes while pressing one hand against the wall of the shower so I don't fall. I've gotten dizzy once or twice the past few days and I know it's dangerous to close my eyes in the shower when it's so slippery, but I need a minute of peace before the thoughts bombard me again. Not only am I filled with thoughts about what happened with Dominic and those men, but now there's thoughts of the baby, Alex getting shot, and what I need to do moving forward are constantly running on a loop through my mind and I can't get a second of peace from them. That's what hurts the most—I'll never forget what I've done and how I caused Alex so much pain. Now I just need to figure out how to deal with everything before I can even attempt to move on with my life. Regardless of if that's with Alex or on my own with our baby.

After taking a minute to gather myself and stop the thoughts from flooding my mind, I quickly wash and condition my hair before moving on to my body. I use my favorite vanilla body wash before shaving everything even though I don't know why I'm bothering. It's not like anyone is gonna see me anytime soon. I still do it so I have some kind of sense of normalcy before I try to figure out what to do with the rest of my day. I'll probably just climb back in bed and sleep the day away.

My dreams aren't any better. They're filled with Alex and vary from one dream to the next. In some of them, Alex doesn't make it at all and he dies in that fucking hell we were held in. Those are the nights I wake up covered in sweat, crying, and know I won't be able to go back to sleep. This isn't a world I want to live in knowing Alex isn't out there somewhere living his life. Yes, I want to be with him more than ever before. But, I can't help but feel as if I'm trapping him with the news of this pregnancy. Some of the other dreams are me having the baby and watching Alex become an amazing dad. I've seen him with the kids in the club and there isn't a doubt that he'll be one of the best dads out there. It just feels like everything is moving too fast because we've been apart for so long now.

Getting out of the shower, I dry off and wrap a towel around my body before putting one in my hair. I'm not going to do much more than let it air dry after brushing it, but I don't want it dripping all over the place as I move around and get clothes. Heading for my closet, I grab one of the tee-shirts I stole from Alex a long time ago and pair it with some shorts I used to wear in cheerleading. .They're short as hell and I wouldn't wear them outside of my apartment now because my body has definitely changed since I graduated high school and went to college. Yeah, I still workout, but not as much as I should.

Taking the towel back in the bathroom, I hear a pounding on my door and groan in frustration. With the loud pounding not stopping, I know it's more than likely one of two people—Playboy or Tank. They've let me have my space and now they're going to force me to talk about things I don't wanna share with anyone yet. I'm not ready to make myself vulnerable to them anymore than I already have. They're the only ones who know I'm pregnant because they were in the room with me when the doctor dropped that bomb. Grabbing my brush and starting to run it through the tangles, I make my way to the door.

"I don't wanna see anyone. Go away," I call out, my voice rough from all the crying I've done over the last week or so that I've been back. Hell, from when I left Pine View. I cried the entire ride home with Tank driving my car.

The pounding doesn't stop or let up as I stand close but don't move to open it. I'm not kidding and I don't want to see anyone.

"Playboy or Tank, I don't want to see you or talk right now. I just got out of the shower and I'm going back to bed," I call out, knowing that might not do much to make them leave me alone because they know I've been in bed for days now.

"Not Playboy or Tank," Alex says, his voice washing over me and making my heart beat rapidly in my chest. "I'm dyin' out here, Angel. Open the door for me, yeah?"

"I don't want to see you right now, Alex. I wasn't ready for you to show up here. You should still be in the hospital, shouldn't you?" I ask, wondering what the hell is going on right now.

"No. I got discharged yesterday and we drove straight here. If you don't open the door and let me in, I'm gonna stand out here and keep poundin' on your door, Angel. I don't think your neighbors will like that too much," he states and I know he'll do just that.

These men are fucking stubborn as hell and will do whatever they can to get their way. I used to admire that quality in them, but not so much anymore. Now I just find it annoying as fuck because I don't want to see him. If I thought I wasn't ready to see Playboy or Tank and talk about things, I'm really not ready to see Alex. He's the one man I need to talk to and the one I want to the least.

"Fine," I finally murmur, sighing as I unlock the door and open it.

Alex is leaning against the door frame and I know it's taking every ounce of strength he possesses to remain on his feet right now. He's got sweat rolling down his face as I usher him in my apartment and help him over to the couch. Alex sits down and leans against the back of the couch with his head thrown back and eyes closed as he breathes the best he can.

"Are you in pain? Do you have your medicine on you?" I ask him, needing to know how I can help him as fear fills me and I sink to the floor in front of him.

"I just took my medicine. It will kick in soon. What's goin' on, Angel? Why did you run away from me and just leave me at the hospital with nothin' more than a note?" he questions me, opening his eyes and looking down at me as I rest a hand on his thigh.

Alex is wearing sweatpants that hang low on his hips and a tank top. He doesn't have his cut on for the first time in his life. I take in the muscles on display and all the ink covering his skin. Shaking my head, I don't move my hand from his thigh because I need to know that he's here in front of me and alive right now. It's the only reason I'm not losing my shit with him being out of the hospital so soon. It seems very fast to me and I know they wouldn't have let him out if he wasn't ready to be discharged. Still, my mind is telling me that he should be in a hospital bed and not here in my apartment.

"Um, when I was getting checked out at the hospital, they told me something and we haven't talked about it in detail yet. I'm okay for the most part. The wounds were all cleaned and I didn't need any stitches for anything. But, it was too late for the wound in my head anyway. I had a cast on my ankle, but it's only a hairline fracture, so I got Doc to cut the cast off and give me a boot. I was just getting dressed and I'll put it on in a minute," I tell him, rushing my words because no one knows I had the cast removed before it should've been taken off.

"Okay. Not happy that you didn't leave the cast on, Angel. I get why you wouldn't want it on, but that doesn't mean that I'm happy about it. What if you hurt your ankle worse than it already is?" Alex asks me, worry filling his face as he looks at my ankle on the floor next to me.

"Doc X-rayed it before he removed the cast. That's the only way he'd agree to it. He told me that I'm to wear the boot until he tells me otherwise and I have to go back in two weeks for another X-ray to see how it's healing. If it isn't making any progress then I need to get the cast put on again. But, that's not why I left you, Alex. I left for a few reasons. One of them is that I couldn't be in the room with you knowing that I'm the reason you were shot. You can tell me all you want that it's because you were already going after Dominic and all the other bullshit reasons I've heard since we got you to the hospital, but I know the truth. Like I told my dad and brother, if I didn't keep my relationship and what was going on with Dominic a secret from everyone but Hunter, he would've already been taken care of and never would have been in Pine View at all," I tell him, tears rolling down my face because no one can talk me out of the truth of my words and what I feel deep in my heart about this entire situation.

"Yeah, the guys might've dealt with Dominic before he got to Pine View, but someone else would've just done the same thing he did. There's no way to stop that shit from happenin' except for gettin' it out there that Pine View is our territory and we're not gonna deal with that shit bein' sold to the citizens of our city. Especially the kids who have been gettin' taken to the hospital on a daily basis," Alex says, moving around until he's comfortable on the couch while still being as close to me as possible before linking our fingers together. "Still doesn't explain why you ran back home, Angel. I know it has to do with more than that shit."

"I'm pregnant, Alex. They did all sorts of testing and it came back that I was pregnant. I'm very early in the pregnancy and we've only had sex that one night. So, one of those times, my birth control didn't work. I'm so sorry. I didn't mean for this to happen and I'm not going to force you to do anything you don't want to. But, that's why I ran. I got scared about how you'd react when you were already in the hospital after a major surgery. The last thing I wanted to do was add to all that shit you were going through," I tell him, pulling my hand from his and wringing my hands together as I try to get myself under control so I can face Alex and see how he truly feels about this news.

For what feels like an eternity, Alex doesn't say anything in response to the news. When I finally look up, he's got a smile on his face as he stares down at me. Alex, reaches out and brushes my hair out of my face before wrapping his fingers around my neck and pulling me into him.

"That's the best fuckin' news I've ever heard, Angel. You're carryin' our baby and you thought I'd be pissed or upset about that news?" he questions me, his voice filled with emotion and I look into his eyes to see them wet with unshed tears. "No, we didn't talk about havin' kids in detail or anythin', but it doesn't mean that I don't want that with you. If anyone is gonna be the mom of my kids, it will be you, Angel. I don't give a fuck it we're havin' kids sooner than either one of us expected, but it's happenin' and I'm not goin' anywhere, Annabell. I'm gonna be there for every appointment, cravin', and everythin' else that happens movin' forward. Don't fuckin' take that from me because you're in your head about all the bullshit that happened."

"I thought you'd feel as if I trapped you into stayin' with me. I was gonna tell you and move back to Pine View once you knew so you could have all the contact with our baby that you want. I'd never keep our son or daughter from you," I tell him, missing what he just said to me because I don't want to get my hope up only for it to be broken and dashed in a few seconds or minutes.

"I'm gonna have time with our son or daughter every fuckin' day, Angel. We've got contractors comin' in to build us houses behind the clubhouse and one of them is ours. I want you with me, Annabell. You're my ol' lady and everyone knows it. Your rag is back at the clubhouse and I was plannin' on givin' it to you when I got released from the hospital. Annabell, please tell me that you'll come back with me and be my ol' lady," he says, shocking the hell out of me that he's already put so many plans for us in place before even knowing about the baby.

"Are you really sure that's what you want, Alex?" I ask him, needing to know he's not going to change his mind once I get down there and he realizes that making me his ol' lady is for life no matter what happens with the club.

"Yeah, that's what I want, Angel. I'm not goin' anywhere and I don't want you goin' anywhere either. I want you at my side and nowhere else, Annabell. I told you once I got a taste of you that it would never be enough and I meant it. I want you every fuckin' day and that's not gonna change. Since movin' to Pine View, I dreamed of you bein' at my side as we rule the new chapter of the club. The few weeks you were with us, were the best of my life even if things were strained between us until recently. Now, I want you with me and there's nothin' I won't do to make it happen. Please, Angel, come back with me to Pine View so we can raise our little one together and be my ol' lady," he begs me, leaning forward and trying to take my hands in his as he grunts in pain and I move so he can lean back against the couch again and not be in pain.

"Okay," I whisper, knowing that's the only decision that will make me happy.

Alex is my man and I want to be at his side. Things might feel as if they're moving fast between the two of us, but they're really not. Not when you think of how long we've known one another and everything we've been through. I've known Alex for half of my life now and it's always been him and no one else. The one time I tried to be with someone else, I got screwed over and hit. Alex would never do that to me no matter what I do.

"Good. I want you comin' back with me when we leave here, Angel. How long will it take to pack your apartment up and get it ready to move?" he asks me, pulling me up the best he can to sit next to him on the couch.

Instead of sitting down next to Alex on the couch, I help him stand and lead him to my bedroom. Pulling back the blankets so he has an easier time getting in, I help him until he's comfortable with most of my pillows supporting his shoulder and body. Covering him back up, I move around to the other side and climb in next to him.

"It shouldn't take me that long. If I get Shy and Savannah here, it will take even less time. The guys can help load the truck for us because you're not able to. How many guys are here with you?" I ask him, knowing it wasn't just Valor and him that came to Benton Falls.

"I've got my brother, Chrome, Court, Buzz, and Crab with me. Buzz is workin' with Fox and Kingston right now. I can't believe all the shit Kingston already knows about computers and what his dad does for the club. He's smart as fuck and will be an asset for the club when it's his time to patch in. Get the girls here to help you pack everythin' up. The sooner we can get back on the road and headin' home, the better I'll feel," he tells me and I know he's thinking about his dad and all the memories they made over the years here in Benton Falls.

"Okay. Get some rest, Alex. You need to sleep and let the medicine do the job it's meant to," I tell him, snuggling up to him the best I can without hurting him.

While Alex is still awake, I start to talk to him about what we went through when we were held and how I feel after killing those three assholes. Honestly, it doesn't bother me as much as I thought it would. That's the part I'm having a hard time with. If I were a better person, I'd be upset and scared that I took three lives in the blink of an eye for any reason. It shouldn't matter that they were men who were trying to hurt me and did hurt Alex. I still shot and killed three people. Alex understands where I'm coming from and tells me that I'm not a bad person or a monster because I protected myself. It would be the same if I were with someone else and protecting my home from someone trying to break in. He finally manages to fall asleep and it's not long before I follow him into the blissful escape where I dream of Alex, our child, and myself in our new home in Pine View surrounded by the guys we call family.