Chapter Sixteen Josh

The week slipped by with days full of second-guessing myself, and nights with Andy's cock in my mouth. Every single day I tried to convince myself that I was being stupid. That this couldn't last or that it was just a passing fancy. And yet, each night when Andy took me up to his apartment for an after work drink, we ended up sucking each other off.

I was still too scared to go any further. But true to his word, Andy didn't push me. And every night that I spent in his arms created a stronger bond between us. The possessive streak inside me had strengthened as well. I brought it up to Andy in a moment of anxiety, thinking it would be the perfect excuse to drive us apart. But he actually found it adorable. He told me I couldn't tell him what to do or who to talk to, but he thought it was cute that I felt like he was mine. Yet another point on Andy's board for being so understanding, even with the things I didn't understand.

It was also getting harder and harder to deny that I was growing fond of him. I mean, it should've been obvious that I was, but I tried to fight it at every turn. I knew that allowing myself to enjoy him, to admit that he was what I wanted, meant I could never go back home. And yet, I couldn't go back home, anyway. Eventually I realized that fighting my feelings didn't make sense. If I could never have what I'd already lost, why was I so intent on not having anything else?

Usually, at the end of the day, my brain was a fucking scrambled egg. What little brain cells I was able to hang onto quickly disappeared with a glass of wine and Andy's scent filling my nostrils. By the time I had his cock in my mouth, I was completely lost in the sauce. In fact, I was turning into quite the little whore. More than once I'd pulled him away during the day to blow him, the Alpha inside me craving his cum. And he always returned the favor, which pleased me even more. I loved the idea of filling him with my seed. It was almost all I ever thought about. Well, besides all the self-loathing stuff. But that was becoming less prevalent.

Then, one night after a long day of baking, Andy caught me by surprise.

"Let's do something different tonight," he said as we ascended the ladder into his apartment. "I want to get out and go somewhere."

Immediately I was on the defensive. "Together?" I asked, already terrified of the implications. "I… I don't know if I'm ready for that…"

"Not in public," Andy smiled, trying to reassure me. "Somewhere private where we can be alone. Like the beach."

"You want to go to the beach? At ten at night?"

"Why not?" He slipped a hand around my waist, pulling me close. "How long has it been since you shifted and blew off some steam?"

I didn't really want to answer. It had been far too long. But, swallowing hard, I fessed up. "Since… Since the last full moon."

"That was almost a month ago!"

I nodded. "It was only for a few minutes too… I was… distraught."

His expression immediately softened. I loved how he was always so gentle with me, I just hated that I needed it at all. I had Alpha blood running through my veins. I should be tough and strong and brave no matter what. But the truth was, Andy was the strong one. Meanwhile, I felt like a crumbling ruin at all times.

"Well, it sounds like you need some play time then."

"Play time?"

"Yeah. You know? Like running around and being silly?"

"You want me to act like a puppy?"

"Better than being so wound up like you are all the time." He held a hand up to block my retort. "Don't think I don't notice you being weird all day long in the bakery. I can practically hear your thoughts. I know you're still second-guessing everything all the time." He pulled me close, kissing my forehead. "And that's okay. But I figure you could use some time to unwind a little and just be silly."

I let out a long sigh, knowing he was right. The idea of being out in public with him was terrifying, even if it was on a beach in the middle of the night. What if someone saw us? What if they thought we were together? I leaned my head against his shoulder. Were we together? Would that make me happy? Hell, would Andy even allow that in the first place? Is this what I wanted out of life?

"You're overthinking again," Andy said, kissing the top of my head. "I can feel your skull heating up."

"Ha ha," I muttered, pulling away from him.

Andy tensed his muscles, forcing me to stay put. "No. You stay right here, babe. I like holding you."

Another battle with my pride. I loved being held by him but it didn't feel manly. Then again, I'd never been concerned with being manly before all this happened. Now that I was having sex with a man I felt the sudden need to be more of a man to balance everything out. It was stupid, I knew that. My brain was doing everything it could to get me to run. So far I was happy my heart wouldn't allow it.

"Josh," Andy sighed. "Stop it."

"Sorry," I replied, shaking my head. "I… I'm a bit nervous about the beach. Do you think anyone will be there?"

"It's closed to humans after dark. But the next full moon is in a few days, so it's possible. However, as soon as they smell us, they'll turn the other way. Everyone around here is pretty respectful of space, even in wolf form."

"What if someone sees us?"

Andy lifted an eyebrow. "Would that be so bad? To be seen with me?"

"I… I know I should say no. But… I'm worried."

"About being hate-crimed or about being seen?"

"Both," I said honestly. "But, the second more. I'm not sure I'm ready to even admit all this, much less let other people know."

"Tell you what, why don't we just go to the beach as friends then? It's not uncommon for wolves around here to run in pairs for safety or even larger numbers. Nobody will think twice as long as we aren't fucking on the beach."

"Just wolf stuff then?"

"Just wolf stuff." Andy held up three fingers. "I will do my best to resist your beauty. Scout's honor."

That made me smile. I loved his compliments. "Okay."

"Well? You ready?" he asked, grabbing his keys from the bedside table.

I nodded nervously, the anxiety causing my fingers and toes to go numb. But, nervous or not, I wasn't going to waste an opportunity for a night with Andy. At least I was certain about that.

"Yeah," I sighed at last. "Let's go."

Quickly packing some snacks and locking up behind us, we headed out to the beach. We had to park outside the locked gate, but it wasn't a long walk. And, considering we'd probably be on four legs, it would go even faster. Andy, without missing a beat, just started stripping the moment he got out of his car. I glanced nervously back at the main road we were parked on. It was completely dark, but I wasn't sure how long that might last.

"Are you sure that's okay?"

"Yeah," Andy shrugged, his cock flopping out of his pants as he threw them to the ground. "What are they gonna do? Call the cops?"

"Uh… yeah?"

"Good thing the police chief is a werewolf." He gave me a wink.

"Is everyone in this town a wolf?"

"Only about a third of them. But we do what we can to look out for one another since there's no pack."

"Huh…" I pondered for a moment. "You know, if you got in trouble with the law back home, the pack didn't step in to help."

"Doesn't sound like much of a pack then," Andy replied without missing a beat.

I opened my mouth to argue, feeling this instinctual urge to defend the place I'd been raised. But then I closed it again. He was right, after all. A pack that didn't look out for their own or kicked them out for stupid reasons, wasn't much of a pack to begin with.

It suddenly seemed silly that I was realizing that for the first time. But coming behind it was an intense sense of freedom. I felt my hesitations fall away as I pulled off my shirt and tossed it into the van. Next went my shoes, socks, shorts, and underwear. I barely even blinked at the idea of standing naked on the side of the road.

"You ready?" Andy asked, his eyes trailing over my heavily.

My cock gave a little twitch. Seeing him naked always got me hard. But right now we had plans. Sex could wait until later.

I nodded at last. "I'm ready."

Andy dropped his backpack on the ground in front of him. "See if you can keep up with me!"

In a matter of seconds, I watched him fold forward, his transformation into wolf seamless and beautiful. I couldn't help a small gasp as I stared at his pure white form. He was blond, so I figured he'd be a lighter color. But I hadn't been expecting white. His bright blue eyes stared up at me as he gave me a little yip, grabbed the backpack strap in his mouth, and took off into the woods.

I was left standing there, naked and shivering on the side of the road. Thankfully it wasn't too cold yet even though it was very early October now. Barefoot, I stepped into the woods just to give myself a bit of privacy. If a car came down the road mid-shift, it could get a little weird. Once I was a few feet in the woods and convinced nobody could see me, I closed my eyes and concentrated.

The wolf inside me was itching to get out, but it had been a while since I'd changed. Too long if I was being honest. So it took a moment or two to let myself relax enough to allow the shift to happen. It was slow and a little painful. A quick shift didn't give you time to feel the reforming of your limbs, but a slow shift could be uncomfortable to say the least. However, gritting my teeth, I made it through the middle and eventually landed on four paws in the damp leaf litter.

I shook out my fur and kicked off my back leg to scratch at my belly. Growing fur was always an itchy business. However, the moment the breeze picked up and Andy's juniper scent crossed my path, I was off like a shot. I raced through the woods as fast as my paws could carry me. Following his scent, I went up dunes and down the other side, eventually bursting out of the trees onto an open beach. There I found his backpack sat out in the center of the sand, but he wasn't there. I turned on the spot searching for him before I put my nose to the ground and began to track.

A sudden weight struck me in the ribs, throwing me off my feet. Sand flew in all directions, a tangle of limbs and yelps happening all at once. When I finally came to a stop on my back, Andy was standing over top of me, his heavy white paws pinning me to the ground. Even in wolf form, I saw him grin. He leaned down, licked the side of my muzzle, and took off toward the water.

Oh, it was on.

Springing to my feet, I ran after him, both of us plowing through the cold lake water and splashing in the waves. We tackled, nipped, and barked at one another like puppies as we ran under the light of a nearly full moon. I'd never felt such unfettered joy in my life as I did that night with Andy. It was like everything in the world was suddenly right. All that existed was him and me, our wolves united in a dance as old as time.

It was just me… and my mate.