8. Oakley

8

OAKLEY

I'm thankful it's Friday. I plan to stay home all weekend. Maybe I won't even leave my bed!

As we get close to the café, my shoulders tense. There are other ways to walk to campus, but this is the most direct route. Especially the buildings that my classes are in. I'm not entirely surprised that I see Jason here every time I stop in for coffee, but the way he watches me makes me uncomfortable.

He even came up to me on Monday and tried to pretend like the day before hadn't happened. Thankfully, I had Levis with me and as soon as he saw Jason, he stepped between us, forcing Jason to back up.

I haven't been in the café since. It's bothersome that I've let this man run me out of the place I enjoy, but for my peace of mind and safety, I think it's for the best.

Considering I've seen Jason in many more places than just the coffee shop since then, I'm getting concerned. So far, I haven't seen him near my house, so there's a chance that it's just been coincidental. I'm not entirely sure I believe that it's just happenstance, though.

I've tried to tell myself he was probably always around before. The first time we met, he even said he frequented the café. There's definitely a possibility that he's always been in my path and I didn't notice before. Now I am aware because he turned into a creep.

He's just everywhere. Always watching me. If I saw him in passing, I might think less of it. But he's always watching. It's to the point where I'm definitely getting uncomfortable. Chills raise the little hairs all over my body when I spot him as I step out of the building my class was just in.

Immediately, I pull out my phone and call Levis. He's still on campus because his class lets out at the same time.

"Hey," he answers.

I turn my back on Jason, which is probably unwise. But we're surrounded by people, so that should mean I'm safe enough, right?

"You still here?"

"Yep. Where are you?"

"Outside Howard Hall," I answer, and glance back. Jason is still there. "He's here."

"Go back inside. I'll be right there."

Levis hangs up and I kind of want to call him back, so I'm not alone. I'm not actually alone. There are hundreds of students moving around, both coming and going from Howard. It's course change for the next fifteen minutes, so this crowd will remain thick for at least ten more minutes.

I step back inside and watch out the window. The crowd's density shifts now and then and I can see him staring this way. Hopefully, he can't actually see me right now. With the glare of the sun and the crowd, hopefully I've simply disappeared.

While I wait, I try to tell myself that it's a coincidence. There's no way he knows my schedule. I texted him about my classes, sure, but it was more like ‘I'm taking a lit class' and not ‘my lit class on Fridays at 3pm in Howard Hall' type of conversation.

Does that mean he's been following me? Or does he have some other means to track me down? My heart jumps when the crowd shifts again and I see him heading this way.

"No, no, no, no," I murmur.

This won't be the first time he's tried to talk to me. Far from it. I've blocked his number and his online profiles—which are weirdly only a few months old—but he keeps making more and using apps to change his number so he can call me. My phone ringing is starting to give me anxiety when it's from an unknown number.

He wouldn't actually hurt me, though. Right? He's just going to continue to harass me and attempt to convince me I misunderstood everything. He wasn't being possessive or jealous. That he's used both those words without any input from me says he knows exactly what turned me off.

A hand on my elbow makes me jump. Only because I see Levis when I turn my head do I manage to keep in my scream. He's not looking at me, though. Levis is staring out the window with a very intense expression. He reminds me of one of those martial arts movies where the guy is ready to kill someone and the look he gives in warning screams— I will skin you alive.

The thing is, I bet he could make good on any promise. He's that proficient in his art and weapon-handling. I love to watch him move through his warm up routines before starting in on the real thing. If I were to have a crush on any of my friends, it would be Levis.

Jason steps inside and scans the area. His eyes land on me, but then Levis is blocking me from view. I don't have a chance to look around him before I see that Jason's already stepped back outside.

"Let's go," Levis says, and pulls me down the hall. There are multiple exits in every building, of course, so he takes me to the side. "We're calling the police."

I don't argue. However, we don't go to the local police. We go to campus security. I give them Jason's name and description and we report about Jason seemingly following me. Levis also tells them there are multiple witnesses to the fact that Jason's been following me.

Thankfully, campus security tends to take these threats a little more seriously than the police department, from what I understand. I had a friend who told me last year she went to the police because an ex was stalking her, and they tried to write it off that their paths crossing was just a coincidence since they attended the same school and were enrolled in classes near each other.

It got ugly with this guy threatening her often if she didn't agree to go out with him again. He even hit her once when she refused. She didn't go back to the police but told campus security instead. Through them, she pressed charges and he was fined for assault.

It's difficult to convince yourself that the law is on your side when you hear and see stories about them blowing off a threat as unimportant or unbelievable. Time and time again. The thing that really bothers me is that in so many cases, those same disregarded concerns result in violence or death.

Then there's the horror show we learned about from Haze when he was sixteen. How his father had buddies in the police department who forced his adult brother back home against his will.

Haze was freaking out over it. Not just for Oren's sake, but also for his own. He'd planned to leave home as soon as he graduated high school. But there was no guarantee that he'd be able to once he witnessed the reach and power his father had.

There are crooked people everywhere. When you get tangled in their web, it's really hard to get out. I can't let myself get caught in Jason's grasp. I don't want to be a victim.

I try not to let his constant presence affect me. There's nothing worse than living in fear. I don't want to live like that. I refuse to live like that. That doesn't stop the internal question of ‘how long before he stops watching and begins acting?'

Then there's the follow up—why me? Why did he have to choose me? What did I do to catch karma's attention and have them send me Jason? Throughout high school, I lived in fear of being found out that I was gay, it was made only worse by the shit that Haze was going through. Though they weren't a danger to me, but I felt their behavior as a threat. Haze hid his sexuality for fear of his family's abuse. Even knowing that wasn't directed at me and always remembering my brother's words when I admitted that I'm gay—I needed to get big and strong to protect myself—I've always had a shadow of fear and uncertainty hanging over me.

Arizona is supposed to be a clean slate. We chose this specific area because it's known to be queer friendly. Eastern State University has been rated highly as a safe place. It's why we chose it since the other top contenders were still in California and we needed to get out of the state!

Levis wraps his arm around my waist and tugs me close. "It's fine," he says. "Promise."

I take a deep breath. It's hot out but as we move toward November, it's beginning to get cooler. Not a lot, but the average high is definitely creeping lower.

Nodding, I make a concentrated effort to not look at all the faces around me. I don't want to see if Jason's still around. Hopefully he lost us when we went out a different door. Or maybe he found us and saw that we went into campus security.

I'm not sure if he's a student here or not. Thinking back, his stories were kind of contradicting. Sometimes he explained his presence on campus by claiming that he had business there, whether it was taking a single class or because he was a vendor. Other times, he just worked close to campus. And another time he said he was a grad student.

There were so many things he told me that I should have realized the truth for what it was. Jason lies. He's bad news. He's not a good guy.

Almost as soon as I stepped into his car, the energy about him was different from the man I was getting to know via text. Then his behavior got progressively more concerning over the course of our date. Thinking back, I should have been concerned with so many things he texted me too.

My friends are right, though. I don't get a lot of compliments. I've never had a boyfriend, so I'm kind of starved for affection. More than anything, I long for someone to want me. To love me. I want a love story. A real one. Not a romance book with morally gray love interests and all that, but a real-life epic romance where he's just… obsessed with me. I want to be someone's priority. To be the person they can't stop thinking about and receive random texts to tell me so.

The thing is, I'm woefully behind on all that. I don't know how to flirt or talk to people. I'm stupidly shy and introverted. It's fortunate that I was basically handed my friends in fourth grade or I'd probably still be that loner kid that no one knows. Just a body taking up space.

So yeah, I was easily seduced by the idea that finally, someone wanted me. Someone noticed me. They were saying nice things that my heart longed to hear.

As we turn onto our road, Levis' phone rings. He answers and I know that it's his girlfriend right away. It's in his tone and the way he has this small, flirty, sexy smile on his lips. As if she can see it. His arm remains locked around me, protecting me. Maybe comforting me. But now I share his attention with her.

I'm not actually jealous. But listening to them talk only emphasizes how I don't have that. Maybe I won't ever have it.

Levis almost always has a girlfriend. He's always been wanted. We used to laugh over the trail of girls that followed him around. Levis has always had the opportunity to have his pick of the girls surrounding him.

The thing is, he's a good boyfriend. He's literally everything I want in a man. Right down to sending his girl flowers for no reason. Texting her that he's thinking of her. He's so gentlemanly and sweet, that I think we all swoon over him sometimes.

I blame Levis for showing me the kind of man I want. He's made my standards incredibly high. It's my loneliness that overshadowed my intuition telling me that Jason wasn't that guy.

Their conversation is just long enough to hear that Levis will pick her up in a few hours and they'll go out on a surprise date Levis has planned.

Swoon!

"Are you going to wear a suit?" I ask when he hangs up.

Levis smirks. "No. But I'll look nice."

"You always look nice," I say, rolling my eyes and glancing at him. He's wearing black pants—not jeans or khakis. I'm not sure what defines the word ‘slacks' but I'd call them slacks. His shirt is collared with three buttons, all undone. It's tucked in with a dark brown leather belt wrapped around his trim waist.

It's not only that he's dressed nicely. Everything fits just right . Snug, showing a hint of what's underneath. The only place that is more telling than the package just perfectly hinting are his short sleeves that stretch over his thick biceps.

He grins, his arm tightening around me as we reach our house. The new neighbors are outside in the yard. One of them has the hose and is spraying the others. We watch as we get closer. Their cursing and laughter as they run around and try to tackle the one with the hose has me smiling. Levis chuckles.

"They look like a cool family," Levis comments.

"They definitely look like they get along," I agree. Most of us have siblings with various degrees of closeness. I'm close to my brother, and we stay in touch by texting or calling often.

Levis has a younger sister. I think they speak often because that's what's expected of them. Haze has three older brothers, none of which he's close with, though he's recently been trying to repair the relationship with Oren. At first we kind of thought he was doing it out of guilt, though we've tried to assure him that he has no reason to feel guilty. But I think he genuinely wants to have his brother in his life.

Just the one, though. Fuck the other two.

Briar is the middle of three kids that couldn't be more different from each other. They're not close and only ever talk if it has to do with planning something for some family member and only ever see each other at family gatherings.

Honey Bee is the second youngest of five. Her relationships are rocky. I'm not even sure what to say outside of that.

And Brek is an only child.

If there was a family that would play like the ones across the road, it would probably be me and Dylan. Seeing them have fun makes my chest tight and I decide maybe I should call my brother. It's been about a week since we spoke. I hate that the older we get and the busier life gets that we talk less and see each other even less frequently.

But I smile as the neighbors' laughter follows us inside.