34. Oakley

34

OAKLEY

He's shaking. The look of fear on Brek's face swims through my head as I cling to Loren. Frozen in fear as he looked upon the face of what I assumed was the killer Loren. I couldn't see Loren's face. He was so quick and silent I didn't know he was there until Brek suddenly vanished, then landed against the chair on the floor.

I'd been so disoriented and shocked by all the things Brek said and did, it took me precious seconds to even register the looming shadowy mass that was Loren Van Doren stalking toward Brek as he cowered in the dark.

Loren is still shaking when he steps into his house. He moves silently. I'm actually rather impressed with the level of silence he manages right up until he shuts his bedroom door.

There's a light on over his desk and I absently wonder if I left it on. Though I don't remember turning it on at all. When I realize his hair is damp, I think he must have come here first before coming next door.

If he'd waited maybe thirty more seconds, I'd have had Brek off me. I'd been so stupidly surprised by his admission and then shocked when he actually kissed me that I kind of just… froze. Deer in headlights kind of shock.

I'd have handled it. I'd have slapped him.

But Loren was there.

He doesn't set me down once we get to his room. The blanket he picked up and wrapped around me is covering me well and while I want to call attention to this sweet, attentive gesture while he's clearly struggling to keep himself under control, I recognize that now's not the time.

"I promised that I'd kill anyone who ever touched you again," Loren says, his voice dark. Venomous. "Anyone who kissed you."

"He's confused," I whisper, keeping my arms tightly around him. "Brek doesn't like change and he's scared of losing everyone in one fell swoop when we graduate. He didn't mean it."

I can feel his frown more than see it since I'm tucked into his neck.

"How do you not mean a kiss?" he asks.

"Please, trust me. And please don't kill my friends."

"They're not allowed to touch you," he growls.

"That won't happen again, Loren. I swear."

I can feel the way he's shaking. It moves through me in a low vibration. Like the earth under our feet is filled with tremors. I need to do something. But I'm not sure what.

Unhooking my legs, I slide down his body and stand on the floor. Cupping the sides of his face, I pull his attention to me. I can see exactly why Brek looked so scared. My Loren isn't home right now. I'm not sure even Loren is aware of the mask he wears all day. Because this man is barely recognizable.

"I love you. I love you, I love you, I love you, I love you." I repeat it as a chant until he blinks several times and stops shaking.

"You came home early," I say, hoping to distract him. "Was your contract done early?"

Loren gives me a curt nod. It's jerky and I know he's still struggling.

"I'm glad you're here. I hate sleeping without you."

His eyes hood. Then I think about what he walked in on and flinch.

"Take your clothes off," I whisper.

Loren's hands tighten on me, but he takes a step back and undresses. I watch as he does, unveiling his body for me piece by piece. He's so sexy. Beautiful perfection.

He stands naked before me, and I press my hands to his stomach. When he flexes, I can see the distinct lines of his abdominals. Toned, hard beneath my palms. His muscles jump at my touch, and I wonder if he needs to not be touched right now.

"What do you need?" I ask. He glances at the window and I turn him so he can't see it. "Look at me, Loren. Stop thinking about him or I'm going to be offended you're thinking of another man right now. Tell me what you need."

His perfect dark eyebrow rises. Distract him with something outlandish? I'll try anything.

"I don't know," he admits.

"How about if we get into bed," I suggest, "and you touch me. Want to do that?"

Loren licks his lips, his gaze flickering down my body. He nods. I sigh in relief and shove my underwear down so I can step out of them. I make a point of stopping at the nightstand to grab the lube and ensure he sees me tossing it on bed before climbing on.

He hovers where he is, rocking slightly, and I wonder if I'm going to have to launch myself on his back again to keep him here. I lay down and spread my legs. His eyes drop and again, he licks his lips.

The fact that he's still thinking about killing someone right now tells me how very mad he is.

"Come here," I whisper.

He sways and I practically sob in relief when he actually comes toward me. Loren hovers over me like a predator, his eyes nearly glowing in the dim light. I swallow.

"Did I tell you how much I love what you did with your bed?" I ask, knowing damn well I have. Many, many times over. "I love that you did this for me."

The corner of his mouth lifts slightly and I know he's trying to let me pull him from his murderous mood.

"Know what else I love?"

"Me," he answers without pause.

"Definitely you. But I also love when your whole weight is on me. When you hold me down and fuck me slow and deep and hard. I love to bite you and let the hint of the bitter taste of your blood touch my tongue. Can we do that now?"

He comes down on me and I shimmy around under him so we're lined up properly. Though his weight means I can't quite reach the lube, since he's holding me down. Loren grabs it and he pushes a hand between us so his fingers can reach my hole.

His eyes never leave mine as he works me open. Carefully. That's never changed no matter how many times we have sex. The way he's always so damn careful with me brings tears to my eyes.

It isn't long before he's pushing inside me. "Take my hands," I grunt. "Hold them under me. Don't let them go."

Loren does as I tell him to, so I'm bound by his hold.

"Now fuck me hard."

He does. I'm not sure if it's the angle with my calves on his shoulders and him holding me in place with my hands under me, or the intensity of his mood, but every violent thrust makes me whine-grunt. That sound that's high pitched as a result of the motion when he shoves the air from my lungs by means of my ass.

"I love you," I say, because I can't keep words in. As much as I'm usually babbling how good he feels, tonight the only words that come out of my mouth are that I love him.

It drives him on and his thrusts are harder and harder. My entire body feels like it's going to unravel by the time I practically shout that I need him to come. He shoves deep, dropping his face into my neck, bending me in half. Raising my head, I sink my teeth into his neck as I jerk and jolt through my own orgasm.

Then his weight comes down as we both fall from the orgasmic high. He lets go of my hands and wraps me tightly in his arms.

"Promise me something," I say. He grunts in acknowledgement. "Promise that you won't kill my best friends."

Loren doesn't answer. For a long time, he remains silent. His voice is quiet when he answers, "I promise not to kill your best friends if they don't fucking touch you again."

"They won't touch me like that again," I swear.

He sighs but his muscles are finally relaxed. "Oakley?"

"Yes?" I ask, nearly asleep again.

"I like your teeth in me."

I grin, shifting under him so I can bite him again. He sighs and I swear, he falls asleep as I dig my teeth into his flesh until my jaw aches.

Over the next several days, I can't find Brek anywhere. He avoids me to the point where my friends know when I'm about to walk in the door because Brek will literally get up in the middle of a conversation and practically run.

He doesn't run anywhere that I can corner him, though. He leaves the house entirely.

After a week of this, I'm frustrated and hurt.

I push Loren into his room and place my hands on my hips. "I need you to stay here," I say. He looks at me amused. "I'm not going to leave the house, but I need you to stay here in this room. Promise me?"

"Why?" he asks.

"Because I need to talk to Brek, and he sure as hell isn't going to talk to me with you around."

His smile is less amused now.

"I swear to you, he won't touch me. But please, stay here. Promise?"

It takes me nearly an hour to get his promise and trust that he's going to keep it. Then I leave and head to find one of his brothers. Literally any one of them, I think. I come across Voss first.

He looks up from where he's cooking over the stove and gives me a smile. "Weird seeing you alone," he teases.

"I need some help," I say, and his expression immediately turns concerned. Before he can get the wrong idea, I continue, "I need someone to convince Brek to come over here and then lock him in a room where he can't escape so I can force him to talk to me."

Voss chuckles. "Done. Give me ten minutes."

I watch as he finishes preparing his meal, washes the dishes, and then sticks it in the warming drawer before tossing the towel on the counter. "Be right back."

The front door opens and closes a minute later and I can see him through the window walking across the street. Glancing at the warming drawer, I muse that his food will be ruined by the time he gets back. That rubbery overdone texture that you find at buffets.

Wandering to the back room, I watch out in the window as the landscapers move through the yard alongside the construction crew that's finishing up with details. It still looks like a mess, but it's not as bad as it had been. I can almost see it coming together.

"Oakley."

I spin around at Voss' voice, startled.

He grins. "Come on."

"You got him here already?" I ask.

Voss nods. "I think he wanted to be caught." He winks at me and opens a door down the hall. I'm not even sure what this room is, having never gone down this particular hall before.

Brek turns around when the door opens and frowns when he sees me step inside. Voss grins and backs out. I lean against the door so Brek can't run. He could jump through the window if he wanted, but I don't think he's going to do that.

He sighs, his shoulders sagging.

"Ready to man up and talk?" I ask.

The bemused smile he gives me says that he's not entirely sure he wants to. However, he also nods.

"I'm sorry," he starts. "I shouldn't have kissed you."

"Just so I'm clear, are you apologizing because you're scared of Loren or are you actually sorry?"

His smile is a little bigger this time. "Both."

"He's not going to hurt you," I say with confidence.

"I'm glad you're convinced of that."

I sigh. "Listen, yes, Loren was definitely going to hurt you that night. You can't honestly think that someone else wouldn't respond in the same way, under the same circumstances. You knew I have a boyfriend and chose to disregard that, and quite disrespectfully kiss me. Uninvited. Unwelcome. Without permission."

Brek looks like he's lost at least a couple inches of height by the time I'm done with how he hunches in on himself.

"So, yeah, Loren was mad. As he had every right to be. Had the situation been different and he'd not shown up, I'd also have been pissed and slugged you as soon as I registered what the fuck you were doing. Either way, the house was going to wake up and someone was going to be standing murderously over you. That was a really shitty thing to do, and while I still want a better explanation, understand that nothing you say can excuse it."

"I'm sorry," Brek repeats. "You're right. Completely and entirely. I don't actually have anything else to add to that. I was wrong. I crossed a line. I've just been so afraid of losing everyone, you specifically, that I… acted rashly."

"You don't believe that you're in love with me, do you?" I ask.

The way he gives me a sad smile, I think maybe he does believe it. But I don't. I know Brek and he periodically latches on to one of us harder than the others, especially when he feels that they're slipping away.

I cross the room and wrap my arms around him, hugging him fiercely. "You're not," I insist quietly. "No matter where I go or who I'm with, you're always going to be my best friend. No one will change that. Nothing will come between us. It's been over a decade, Brek. We've all been through a lot and look at us! Despite this right now, we're just as close as we've ever been. Closer, even."

He eventually wraps his arms around me.

"I love you. So, so much. I'd be so damn hurt if I lost you. But you need to accept that I love Loren. I'm staying with him, Brek. I know you can't see beyond your fear and hurt, but he treats me so well. Legitimately too. Not like Daniel/Jason."

Brek scowls, shaking his head.

"I love that you're scared for me and want to protect me, but I promise, I'm happy. I'm with him by choice and for the right reasons." Granted, some of the things I love might be a little twisted, but I don't need to offer that information at this juncture. "I really, really need you to stop being an asshole. Okay?"

He nods. "I know."

Taking a couple steps back, I rest my hand on his chest. "Your girl is out there, Brek. I promise."

With a sigh, he shakes his head. "Maybe. I don't know. I don't do well talking to other people."

"You do fine," I say. "Sounds to me like you've been talking to the real estate guy just fine."

The corners of his mouth tick up. "Yeah."

"You pick up on a vibe and when a person jives with you, you do allow yourself to get close. There's nothing wrong with being picky, Brek. No matter how picky you are, I know the right person will come along and you'll recognize it, even if it doesn't happen right away."

He nods again. "Thanks for your vote of confidence."

"You're welcome. Want to play video games? I think I can get the triplets downstairs and we can race."

Brek grins. "Yeah, okay. Sounds cool."

"And you can be in the same room as Loren without being a tool," I add.

He's less enthusiastic about it, but he still agrees. Which I take for the win it is.