16. Oakley

16

OAKLEY

I've been dreaming about Loren for the past six nights. The feel of his hands over mine. How his hot breath brushed over my skin. The exact tenor of his voice close to my ear. His body heat seeping into me as he stood close.

And his smile. Goddamn, that smile. I've never seen someone so transformed when they smile. He's gorgeous without it; but man, when he smiles, it's just so damn radiant. Breathtaking. I seriously forget how to breathe.

Since the first time hanging out with the Van Dorens, we've been there several times. Honey Bee was a little skeptical and hesitant at first. She wouldn't say why, but after some time, she seemed to have warmed up.

More specifically, she seems to have warmed up to Myro. I've never seen someone flirt so smoothly! It's almost mesmerizing. Honey Bee truly tried to remain indifferent, but I think we all could see her restraints crumbling as she falls for him a little more every time we're together.

Meanwhile, Loren is… distant. He watches me as if he can't look away. When I separate myself from everyone, he'll make his way to me. Our exchanges are quiet and brief. I swear, I think we're both shy. I'm not sure why he stares, so I'm not entirely sure how to handle the situation.

Around me, everyone in the room seems to surge to their feet as a single unit. I look around, slightly perplexed. When did I even get to school?! This is becoming a problem. I've now missed whatever's happened in this class twice this week because I can't stop thinking about Loren. Which is ridiculous. We've barely said anything to each other. I can't keep obsessing about this infatuation.

As I follow my classmates out, I log into my student portal to see what I missed this period and make note to spend extra time studying tonight. Thankfully, all the professors are really good about having their lectures uploaded. Not the entire lecture, like we don't get their verbal transcript, but we have their digital presentations. That's something.

Sighing, I stuff my phone into my pocket just as I step outside and practically collide with Loren. My breath catches as I stare. His smile is small. That super sexy hint of a smile.

"Loren!" I say, breathless.

His smile ticks up a little. "Can I take you to lunch?" he asks.

Holy fuck. He's here. To see me! I nod, unable to find words. I think I've swallowed my tongue.

Loren gestures to the walkway and I finally step out of the path of the door where people are trying to move around me.

"I, uh… have class in forty minutes," I say.

He nods. "We can eat at the café in the student center," he offers.

"Okay."

A beat passes. "What is your class about?"

"The one I just left?" I ask lamely.

Loren nods, his gaze flickering to mine.

"That class is about ancient cultures. It's really fascinating most of the time."

"What did you learn today?" Loren asks.

I flush and duck my head. "Honestly, I don't know. I've been sidetracked."

The way he smiles, I swear he knows I lost the entire fifty-five minutes because I was thinking about him and his hand on my hip!

"What about ancient cultures do you like?"

"Everything. In some ways, they were far more advanced than we are. Maybe not in technology, but in the way they treat people. I also find it amusing that we think society today is extraordinarily violent when, in reality, every culture is violent. We discover thousand-year-old murders and sacrificial burials all the time. Every era is riddled with war. Violence isn't new. It's part of human nature."

Loren tilts his head and I think I've just spewed far too much. Before I can quickly put my foot in my mouth further, Loren says, "I've never thought about it that way. Given what we know about the cultures before modern day, I can definitely see that pattern."

Excited, I continue, "And it makes complete sense about why we evolved this way. We aren't a world of brand-new cultures randomly popping up. We build on those that came before us! Taking what we're familiar with and adding to it the parts that we feel are better. Take Paganism and Christianity, for example. In an effort to not only wipe out Paganism—but also as a means to more easily convert Pagans—Christians built their churches and temples and places of worship on holy Pagan sites. They absorbed Pagan traditions and holidays like Yule into Christmas, Ostara into Easter, Samhain into… well, I suppose Halloween isn't really a Christian holiday."

Loren's watching me with a smile. That same sexy one that makes my insides flutter.

"Yes. All true."

I take a breath, trying to let it go so I don't get too wild over this.

"Sounds like you enjoy that class," Loren says.

"I do. I love learning about the past. Especially the ancient past. I'm not sure humans ever truly learn from their mistakes since we're always just repeating ourselves—wars over religion, wars over territory, wars over politics." I shake my head. "But it's fascinating all the same."

We arrive at the café and we order. We're quiet as we wait for our food. Loren takes the tray when it's offered, and I follow him outside, where we sit at a small table. He hands me my paper bowl of loaded fries and takes his sandwich.

"What's your next class?" he asks.

I laugh. "Astronomy."

Loren pauses in bringing his sandwich to his mouth. "Yeah?"

Nodding, I pop a fry into mine. "Yep. It's actually going toward my math and science requirement and should boost my GPA because of all the physics involved, so it's cool. If I'd have been able to take this course instead of basic physics, I'd have had a much better grade."

"I'm not seeing the connection between ancient cultures and astronomy," Loren says.

I shake my head. "There isn't one. Unless we're talking about ancient astronomers. I'm also taking Invented Languages, which explores languages made by writers for popular shows and books. And Digital Mapping."

Loren watches me with amusement. "How do they fit together?"

Grinning, I shrug. "Like I said, they don't. The thing is, I don't know what I want to do with my life. I have all my core courses finished and now I'm just exploring whatever I can find, hoping that something will finally just feel right. I want to be excited about work but… I just haven't found it yet."

Loren hums as he chews. He's still watching me. Always watching me. But I don't mind. His eyes are so pretty.

"I have a medical biology degree," he says. "But it's kind of useless. The degree is designed as a stepping stone to a graduate degree in medicine—any part of medicine. Not just a doctor, but a pharmacist, physical therapy." He waves his hand. "I never had any interest in a career in medicine, but I'm fascinated by the human body and how it works, thus a useless degree."

"I've read that you work for your dad in contracts," I say.

Loren pauses with his sandwich raised. A smile curls his lips. "Did you look me up?"

My cheeks burn. "Yes. When we figured out who moved in across the road, we looked you up."

He's definitely pleased with this, even as I want to crawl under the table. He chews his bite and nods. "Yes," he confirms after he swallows. "I read contracts quite thoroughly and make sure they're executed as detailed and that the payment agreement, whatever it may be, is issued. It's not steady work. Sometimes it takes me hours to complete and other times weeks, depending on the nature of the contract."

"So… why are you here?" I ask.

"To eat lunch with you," he answers.

My stomach flutters. "Okay, but why are you usually here? I see you around a lot."

Loren nods and sits back in his chair. "Did you know there are thirty-eight miles of trails on campus?"

I shake my head. "I didn't know that."

He nods again. "I'm bored when I don't have a contract, so I wander around a lot. The trails here are beautiful." He pauses, studying me for a minute. "You're here."

The way he makes me catch my breath! I flush, bowing my head to try to hide my smile.

"I've been thinking about enrolling in classes but, like you, I don't know what I want to do. I have a degree that I don't use. Do I really need another one? Seems like a waste of time and money for me when I'll just be passing the time in class."

"I know that feeling. My grandmother pays for any of my tuition not covered by scholarships and grants. She doesn't mind. I only have one brother and he's already in his career—happily, so that's goals right there. I keep offering to drop out until I figure out my life, but she insists that as long as I'm furthering my education and enjoying myself, then I should stay. But yeah, I feel like I'm wasting time and money."

Loren shakes his head. "Your grandmother is right. You're furthering your education, and you clearly love your classes. Which means it's not a waste of either."

"Yeah. I don't argue much because I know once I leave college and get a job, I'll never end up going back. Most people don't, even when they say they will. My biggest fear is getting a job I hate but being stuck in it."

"Maybe you don't want to work at all," he says, grinning.

I love his smile. Every time I see it, everything inside me turns to fire. "And do what with my life?"

He shrugs. "You could be a kept man."

I laugh, shaking my head. "Ha! I don't know if I'd even enjoy that. I'd probably get bored. Besides, who would want to support someone completely?"

"You could get a hobby. A dozen hobbies—crafts and hiking and taking pictures," he says, and I find myself smiling. I could totally see that. "With the right person, I'd definitely support them without complaint."

It's difficult trying to convince myself that there's no hint in his words. Is it because I want there to be? It's not like we know each other well. This is the very first time we've had any real conversation.

I'm lonely. I want to be wanted. But that's gotten me into trouble very recently.

Brushing my hair back, I eat my fries for a few more minutes. They're basically cold and soggy now, since I've spent so much time focusing on Loren. It's hard not to. He's just… dreamy. And he wants my attention.

"If being a kept man is my calling in life, I really am wasting my time and Grandmother's money," I tease.

Loren shakes his head. "No. For the same reasons as before. Some people would love to be a professional student. Maybe that's your destiny."

"Then I'm going to need a sugar daddy," I say, laughing.

"I'm sure that can be arranged," he practically purrs. I shiver at his tone. It's not suggestive, is it?

My watch vibrates on my wrist, and I look down. A notification reminds me I have class in ten minutes. Which sucks because I'd much rather stay here.

"I have to get to class," I say.

Loren takes my fries, his wrapper, and the tray to return it inside. He comes back and falls into step beside me. "Do you have a class after the next one?"

"No. This is the last today."

"Can I see you after class?"

My heart jumps and I'm pretty sure I'm going to choke on it. It takes me a few seconds just to get myself under control. The most I manage is a nod and a squeaky ‘yes.' He smiles, pleased, and I find my way into the classroom.

I manage to pay attention a bit, but only because I'm fascinated with space. My heart is racing by the time class is over. Part of me thinks Loren will have forgotten me. That he'll have found something better to do. Or maybe I just imagined the entire thing.

But when I step outside, he's right there. Hands in his pockets, waiting. As soon as my eyes meet his, he smiles. Small, sexy, swoony. My insides turn to jelly as I approach on wobbly legs.

"Want to take a walk?" Loren asks.

I nod.

"Is your bag heavy? I can carry it for you."

It's really hard not to smile as I shake my head. "It's not heavy. Just my tablet and a notebook inside."

Loren nods. For a minute, we're quiet as we move around students rushing to class or sports or something. When he leads me down a trail I'd have never seen before, the noise surrounding us instantly falls a few decibels. It's peaceful. And soon, it's beautiful too.

The path is paved and surrounded by foliage. There are birds singing and the trickle of water somewhere nearby.

"I didn't know this was here," I say.

"There are signs, but if you aren't looking for them, I don't think you'd notice them. All the trails could be defined better," Loren says.

We spend hours walking the trails. At some point, Loren takes my backpack, but I'm only barely aware of it. It's almost dark by the time we head home and he walks me to my door. I feel like I'm floating.

"Can I have your number?" Loren asks.

I nod and there's a charged moment when we enter our numbers into the other's phone. With them pocketed again, Loren hands me my backpack.

"I'll see you tomorrow," he says. It's not a question. There's no room for miscommunication in that.

Biting my lip, I nod again. I should tell him I had a good night. A great time with him all day. I can't wait to see him again. To talk to him more. But I think if I open my mouth, I may vomit.

Our eyes remain locked as the minute stretches. Then he leans in and presses his mouth to the corner of mine. "Good night, Oakley," he whispers.

"Goodnight."

Just so I don't pass out from forgetting how to breathe, I push open the front door and step inside. Everyone is there and they all turn to look at me expectantly. While I try to wipe the smile from my face, it's fucking impossible. I'm grinning like a lunatic.

"Good night?" Levis asks at the same time Honey Bee says, "Where have you been?"

I shake my head. Saying the words out loud feels like a jinx. I'm not ready for what's barely begun to end, so I don't put it into the universe.

"The best night," I admit. "The best day!"

"You look happy," Briar says. "You meet someone without a boat filled with red flags?"

"I think everyone has some red flags but yeah, not like Daniel/Jason." Probably. How do I know when all I can think about is the way he makes me feel?

But the biggest difference is he wasn't constantly distracting me with compliments. After spending hours with Loren, I can honestly say that it's like a night and day experience. Daniel/Jason was manipulative from the moment we met. It's easy to look back now and know that everything he said was calculated.

I'm pretty sure Loren was genuine today. I guess I don't know that for sure, but I feel different. I feel happy.