32. Lyric

32

LYRIC

T he apartment feels suffocating, the walls closing in on me as I cradle Eli in my arms. His tiny sobs have finally quieted, but my own tears won't stop. I rock him gently, whispering soothing words, but my mind is a whirlwind of fear and heartbreak. How did everything become such a mess?

Eli's warm body against mine is a fragile comfort, a reminder of the love I have to protect. But the boys' words from this morning echo in my mind, along with their threats to take him away. I can't lose him. I won't.

I shift on the couch, holding Eli tighter. His chubby hands grasp at my shirt, seeking reassurance. I brush my fingers through his soft hair, pressing a kiss to his forehead. "It's okay, baby. Mama's here. Mama's got you."

The tears fall faster and hot tracks run down my cheeks. How did it come to this? How did the boys I once loved, whom I thought I could trust, turn into my worst nightmare?

I spend the rest of the day alternating between comforting Eli and breaking down myself. Every time I think I've cried all I can, another wave hits me. The fear is overwhelming. I can't imagine a life without my son, but their threats were real and I know they have the resources to follow through.

I glance at the clock, each passing minute a reminder of how little time I might have left with Eli. I need to think, to plan, but all I can do is hold him close and pray that somehow, we'll make it through this.

Maybe I can talk to Madison. She's been a source of comfort, the first friend I had since starting at Sterling Heights and she's never failed to help me when I needed her.

I reach for my phone, dialing her number. She answers on the third ring.

"Hey, Lyric, what's up?" she asks, sounding cheerful. I feel bad for bringing the mood down, but I don't know what else to do.

"The boys know about Eli's paternity," I confess, unable to keep the words inside any longer. "They came and confronted me. I don't know what to do, Mads! I thought that we were rebuilding trust and that things were finally moving in a good direction! But they threatened to take him away from me. What do I do?"

Madison is silent for a moment, then her voice comes back on the line. "Lyric, I warned you that you needed to tell them the truth," she says. "I believe in doing the right thing and you were stringing them along by keeping them in the dark. I'm the one who told Levi at the party last night."

"What?" My voice breaks. "Mads, why… why would you do that?"

I feel the ache in my chest grow, threatening to crush my heart into pieces.

"Lyric, you know that Eli deserves to know who his father is and those boys deserve to know that he's their son. I don't understand why you thought it was right to lie to them."

"I didn't lie!" I snap, finally reaching my breaking point. Eli fusses and I jiggle him, trying to calm him down. "I did not lie. When they asked, I told them it was a complicated topic. I always meant to tell them. I just felt like we needed to rebuild trust first."

Madison scoffs. "I don't think you can rebuild trust by keeping this from them."

I'm appalled at the way she's treating me right now. "I thought you were my friend," I say, my voice small. "You should have given me a chance to come clean. This wasn't your news to tell."

"Sorry, but I did what I thought was right," Madison protests. She starts saying more, but I hang up, unable to find the words that I want to say.

The tears start fresh again as I realize how utterly alone I am right now. The atmosphere feels too suffocating, so I bundle myself and my son up and take him out in his stroller, needing to escape for a little while.

As we walk toward the cafe around the corner from campus, I find myself wishing I had more friends or family to talk to. Someone I could trust and who could give me guidance on the situation from a neutral, third-party perspective.

I almost bump into someone and when I glance up, I thank the universe for helping me out for once. Cameron stands there, a smile on his face as he steps back from the stroller so it doesn't hit his foot.

"Sorry!" I say, shifting Eli so he's out of Cameron's way.

"Hey, it's no big. I wasn't paying attention." Cameron waves his hand. "Are you okay? You look upset."

I nod, trying to say I'm fine, but then I start shaking my head, the tears falling once more. "No, I'm not okay," I say, sniffling.

"Oh, no, I'm so sorry." Cameron steps forward and wraps an arm around my shoulder. "Let's get out of the cold. Do you want to go into the cafe?"

I nod, and he ushers the two of us inside, taking Eli's stroller to navigate it through the door for me. I get Eli set up with a cookie, grab myself a hot latte, and sit down joining Cameron at the table he picked by the window.

"Okay, spill," he says, brushing snow off his jacket as he takes it off. I hold myself together for approximately three seconds before the entire story comes tumbling out. Cameron listens patiently, a pained expression on his face.

"Lyric," he says my name with a sigh. "Those guys are jerks. You need to stop going back to them over and over. It sounds like you've had a rough day. There's a party at Sigma Theta tonight. Can you get Annie to babysit Eli and come over?"

I consider his words. "I think so," I tell him, glancing at my son. I hate to leave him, but a night out sounds like it's just what I need right now.

Cameron walks us back to the dorm and I promise to meet him at the frat party later. Annie is thankfully available last-minute, so I quickly get changed into a tight-fitting black dress and platform heels and head over to the frat house.

It's freezing out, but nice and toasty inside by the time I arrive. The party is in full swing now, with loud music and plenty of drinks flowing. I look around and find Cameron hanging out by the stairs.

"Hey, Lyric!" he says, waving at me. I smile and head over to him, hugging him.

"I appreciate your helping me take my mind off things," I tell him. He smells nice, like patchouli and ambergris.

"No problem. Can I get you a drink?" he asks. I consider it for a moment. I shouldn't drink tonight, but one drink can't hurt, right?

I nod. "Yeah, sure."

He smiles and heads into the kitchen, leaving me alone in a sea of strangers. The one thing I can count on is that I know the boys won't be here tonight. The Alphas and the Sigmas are rivals and they'd never show up to a Sigma party.

Cameron takes his time and returns with a red Solo cup, some kind of punch, which he passes to me. "It's the Sigma's version of jungle juice," he tells me, a chuckle in his words. "It's vile, but it will help you relax."

I take a sip, making a face. It's not awful, maybe a little too sweet for me. Cameron laughs and holds out his cup, which we clink, then I tip the drink back and take a long gulp.

"Do you want to go up to my room?" he asks. "It's kind of noisy in here."

I let him lead me upstairs and follow him into his bedroom, which is near the end of the hall, far away from the noisy students below.

"Thanks," I tell him again. "I can't believe what a mess my life has become." I take another long drink, the effects already starting to hit me.

"You should have never become involved with them in the first place," Cameron says, annoyance written all over his face. "They're idiots who don't know a good thing when they see it."

"Mm," I hum, looking at the blue-striped pattern on his comforter. My vision has gone a little hazy and I feel like I've had a lot more to drink than half a cup of jungle juice. "What was in that drink?" I ask with a laugh, feeling too warm.

Cameron moves forward, his knees nearly touching mine. "I'm sorry they treated you like this for so long," he whispers, brushing a strand of hair out of my face. "You don't deserve that. You deserve someone who will treat you right, like a princess."

His face gets close to mine and his lips move toward me, but I push him away a little clumsily.

"Sorry, I… I don't mean to reject you, but I'm not in the right headspace for anything," I tell him, my words slurring as I speak. "It's not you. It's me. I'm all fucked up."

"Are you fucking kidding me?" Cameron asks, his mask falling. "I've been nothing but patient with you, Lyric. I deserve better than this!"

Anger fills his eyes and mine widen as I lean away from him. "You've been leading me on this whole time!" Cameron says, his voice harsh. "I picked up the pieces every time those bastards flung you over and you don't even see it. Fine, if you won't give it up, I'll just take it from you. You owe me that much."

He lunges for me and I try to fight him off, but the alcohol makes it hard to focus. His hand pushes up under my dress, and I cry out for help.

I don't know if anyone can hear me. We're far away, and the music is too loud. Panic overtakes me as I try to stop him.

"Help!" I scream again, horrified at what is happening to me.

Just as Cameron pins me down to the bed, the door bursts open.