28. Lyric

28

LYRIC

A fter Archer dropped us back off at the dorm, I found myself yearning to be close to them again. I don't know why I keep going back over and over, but the glimpses I see of the old Hudson boys have me longing to find a way to bridge this gulf between us.

Still, even after all that, I have to admit that I never expected to see Levi offering to help with Eli, much less taking the time to bond with him. Watching them together in the library has been surreal. Seeing the tough, guarded Levi act so tender with Eli tugged at something deep inside me. For a moment, I allowed myself to imagine a different life—one where the boys weren't my tormentors but my allies, my family. But that dream is too fragile to hold onto.

Seeing Eli asleep in Levi's arms made my heart ache with a confusing mix of emotions. Gratitude, yes, but also a longing for something I'm not sure I can have. And then the moment that I'd been dreading since the day they walked back into my life happened.

"Lyric," Levi says, a mix of uncertainty and hope in his voice. "Is Eli our son?"

I can scarcely breathe, the weight of his words pressing down on me. Part of me wants to tell him everything, spill the tea and reveal the secret I'd been carrying for so long. But I know I can't risk opening that door and letting him see how vulnerable I am. So, I shut down, shaking my head.

"I don't want to talk about Eli's father," I say, my voice soft. "It's a difficult topic."

Levi nods, though it seems like he wants to press harder, but fortunately, Eli starts to stir and I realize how late it's gotten.

"Shit, uh, I need to get Eli back to the dorm and put him to bed," I say, starting to gather my books. I pack everything away, but when I go to reach for my son, Levi keeps hold of him.

"I can help carry him back," he offers. "I don't mind."

I bite my lip, uncertain whether I should be letting Levi get this close, this bonded with Eli after everything they put me through.

But when my son needed me, they've stepped up. They have always made sure I was done in time to get him from daycare, or that I had enough to feed him. Archer helped me take him to the hospital when he was sick.

They've been true to their word and not let their issues with me interfere with, or hurt, Eli. So I nod slowly. "Okay," I say. "I'll grab his diaper bag. Do you think you can carry him all the way back?"

Levi gives me a raised-eyebrow look, and I chuckle. "Right. You're like a skinny anime boy on the outside, so I forget how deceptively strong you are."

At that, he lifts Eli, draping his sleepy head over his shoulder, grabs the diaper bag and my bookbag from me, proving that he's much stronger than he looks.

I shake my head and grab the books I picked up to drop them on the returns cart on the way out. "Thanks for helping me," I tell him as we exit the library.

The sun is starting to set and the weather has turned chilly, so I pull on my new bomber jacket, courtesy of my shopping spree with Madison a few weeks ago.

Levi gives me a soft smile and we start heading toward my dorm. The campus is mostly deserted at this time of night. It's quiet, with only the soft hum of insects in the air and quiet conversations around us.

"I'm just here," I say as we approach my building. "I'll take him off your hands now."

"I can carry him inside," Levi insists. "You called me a skinny anime boy. I gotta defend my honor as a manly man now."

I giggle and unlock the door, letting Levi in first as I trail behind. Once we're inside, I take Eli from his arms.

"I'll be right back," I tell him. "You can stay if you want."

Levi nods and settles on my threadbare couch as I take my son and put him down in his crib. He fusses a little when I set him down, but he quiets down quickly after a few pats to the back and I leave him alone, rejoining Levi in the living area.

I sit next to him on the couch, keeping a fair distance since things are still tense between us. "How's classes?" I ask, trying to keep the conversation casual.

"Fine," Levi says. "I've been working on studying for my organic chemistry final. Everyone says Dr. Montauk's finals are killer, so I've been spending all my free time in the library."

"Oh, God." I shake my head. "I have Montauk. Please don't freak me out."

"I didn't know you were in organic chem," Levi says, surprise on his face.

"Oh, yeah, I'm trying to go into nursing," I inform him. "I'm taking Organic Chem and Calc 101 this semester, and it's been quite the load, let me tell you."

"Who do you have for Calculus?" Levi asks, moving toward me a little. "I took it with Olssen. Worst mistake ever."

"Oh, thank goodness." I smile. "I've got Winters."

"Lucky," Levi grumbles. I giggle and a strand of curls falls in my eyes. Levi reaches out and tucks it behind my ear, the contact sudden and unexpected.

A frisson of desire courses through me as our eyes lock, the tension nearly palpable. Even if I wasn't supposed to be letting myself get drawn in by them again, my body doesn't seem to have taken the memo.

I don't know who reaches out first, but in an instant, Levi's mouth is on mine and we're kissing hungrily, tongues tangling in a passionate dance as our bodies press together, rising as our hands reach out, groping for our clothes.

Levi pushes my jacket off my shoulders and lifts my shirt over my head, staring at my body in wonder for a second. "I missed this," he says in a voice so low that I barely hear it. His hands reach out, unclasping my bra and I'm naked from the waist up in front of him.

Not willing to be alone in this, I reach out and pull his sweater over his head, along with his shirt. "Your turn," I say, moving forward to kiss him again, enjoying the way his skin feels against mine.

Levi's got a softness to him, even when he's touching me. Where Archer is all dominant, immediately putting me under his spell, Levi has a hypnotic quality that lures me in slowly. I can't stop the way he draws me in, his soft smiles and gentle hands moving over my body, making me melt.

"Take me," I breathe. "I want you. Please, take me, Levi."

He nods, pulling my leggings down slowly, kissing up my legs as he works them down over my ankles and tosses them aside. His fingers tug my panties down and he relieves me of them the same way, kissing sensually up my legs until he's right at the juncture of my thighs.

I spread my legs apart for him, uncertain what he might do, but when he kisses my pussy tenderly, I feel like I'm falling already. His tongue laps at me, delicate little licks that set off hot sparks inside me.

Arching my back, I let out a soundless cry, desperation rising. "I need you," I whisper. "Please. I want you inside me."

Levi pulls away, face shiny in the dim light from the kitchen that spills into the living room. "Lyric," he whispers, his hand reaching out to cup my face. I close my eyes, leaning into his touch, a bubble of emotions is making me choke back tears as he pulls the rest of his clothes off and lines himself up, sinking into me slowly.

As our bodies connect, something white-hot erupts inside me, and the tears streak down my cheeks. Levi stills for a moment, concern on his face, but I brush the tears away and shake my head.

"Don't stop," I tell him. "I want this. Please, let me have this moment with you."

He continues, hips rocking gently into mine on the dilapidated couch as we try to be quiet to keep from waking up my son. I don't know how long it lasts, but it doesn't seem to last long enough because before I realize it, I'm clenching around him as I come apart and he calls out my name softly, hips slowing to a stop as he releases inside me as well.

As we lie there together for a moment, it feels like maybe things can be different now. The boys have had their revenge. They've had their payback from me. Is it too much to hope that we can all move forward now, together?

I don't know if I should get my hopes up, but I do know that I can't seem to live without them in my life. At some point, I'm going to have to tell them the truth about Eli, but right now, I want to bask in the warmth of the connection that Levi and I just shared.

Because all I want right now is to soak up every last precious second I have with him in this calm, peaceful moment. Levi will have to leave soon and I'll have to go back to being the nerdy outcast, the slutty bitch who sleeps with all the frat boys. But that can be tomorrow.

At the same time, hope blooms inside me that maybe tomorrow will be different. After tonight, I have to hope that things will be different.