Chapter 15
"Men are not prisoners of fate, but only prisoners of their own minds."
—Franklin D. Roosevelt
Maria
What about women?
I'd heard the quote years before hadn't really put much thought into the possibility that I'd ever need to worry about it, but I'd been dead wrong. I'd been locked inside the room, left alone as soon as Daniel had brought me home.
Two days had passed.
Two.
I couldn't get out of my mind what both Maria and my new husband had said. I was caught in a nightmare, but I'd allowed myself to be lured into it. My behavior reminded me of the stupid girl in the cheesy horror flicks who ran toward danger or at least had no clue how to hide very well. There was no hiding from this situation. None.
Especially since I truly was his prisoner.
He'd had the television removed, also taking my phone. There was no radio or shelf full of books to keep me occupied. He'd ensured all I could do was wallow in self-pity and recrimination from my horrific behavior, putting his family and himself at risk.
I wanted to scream, to tell him the truth but things had already gone too far. There was no choice but to accept that I was the sole reason I was in this position.
And maybe that seeing the concern on Daniel's face had been real.
He'd said nothing to me, but I'd seen the disappointment in his eyes, the anger furrowing deep within. I hadn't thought clearly enough to know my actions had placed him in further danger. Now I understood at least a little bit better.
Darkness had already fallen for a third time since being held prisoner, the night nothing I used to fear but now I wasn't certain what to expect any longer. I'd seen at least ten different men walking the property and there was no doubt they were all carrying weapons. The realization had just been another nail in the coffin. There was no getting away from this life. None. The sooner I accepted reality the better off I'd be.
I heard the lock being disengaged and every muscle in my body stiffened. While I didn't hear his footsteps, I could certainly sense his presence as always happened when he was close. I refused to turn around but knew whatever fate awaited me would be painful.
"It's time for your punishment." There was no particular inflection in his voice, just a practiced tone that stated he meant business. With my mother's life on the line, I had to try to bridge the dangerous gap between us.
If I could stomach it.
"I'm very sorry for leaving like I did. I hope you understand that I was shocked at seeing all the blood." When he said nothing, I sensed it wouldn't matter what I said to him. He was determined to make me pay for my sins.
At this point, maybe I deserved a brutal spanking for being so goddamn stupid. I finally turned to face him, hating that his previously animated face was devoid of anything. There was no anger, no disappointment any longer. Nothing. It was almost as if I meant nothing to him whatsoever.
That was the most terrifying aspect of the entire day.
"Did you hear me? I said I was sorry."
"Remove your clothes, Maria. Once you're finished, go and stand in the corner and wait for me."
"You're kidding me."
"No, I am not. I suggest you do as I say, or your punishment will be much worse. Do you understand me clearly, my wife?" He waited, still staring at me as if what I'd done was the most horrible thing in the world.
Another lump had formed in my throat from the amount of anxiety. I was trapped in more than just a nightmare. I had to make him think I was feeling some level of remorse, even if that felt so entirely foreign to me.
"Yes, I do."
"Then I'll return in a few minutes. You seem to need more time to reflect on what could have happened had I lost you."
He turned toward the door so slowly it was as if his muscles were stiff. "What would you have done had I been killed? I mean, I'm just curious."
There was so much tension between us that I was completely sick to my stomach.
"What would I have done? I thought I was very clear about that. I would have done what it took to hunt down the bastard responsible, including destroying his entire world, killing his family if necessary, then burning down his house. That's what I would have done."
I was strangely thrilled hearing his testament and I completely believed it. "Why?"
"Why?" Now he almost seemed amused. "That's easy. Because you're my wife."
Everything about his last statement was completely formal, as if there was no mistaking the reason or the promise made of what he would do in the future. With that he walked out, immediately engaging the lock.
And I'd never felt so alone in my life.
The man was absolutely confusing, the push and pull we shared keeping me tingling yet on edge. As much as he wanted me to hate him, and I wanted that too, the glimmer of the other man I'd seen before kept me wanting to push his boundaries even further. Why? Why did it even matter to me? This was nothing but a game that he would win.
Was it what my mom had already said to me, that my entire life I'd wanted to believe the best in people? Maybe so. If that was the truth, I was a na?ve little girl and nothing more. Sadly, this was something I couldn't avoid, not with pleading or hiding. He was a bad man and I was his possession.
I stood where I was for a full two minutes before being able to move whatsoever. When I did, every action I took brought an intense ache into my system. I was slow in removing my clothes, torn between feeling guilty and wanting to continue hating him. When I was completely naked, my anxiety and anger at the man had me gasping for breath.
My legs remained stiff as I walked toward the wall and to the only blank corner in the room. I'd certainly never received this kind of punishment before. The moment I was in position, I fell into a strange lull where I felt like a bad little girl all the way to my core. It was silly, the way I was feeling, but I couldn't help myself.
I'd never considered any of the consequences or dangers in running. I could use all the excuses I wanted, including that I didn't know what I was getting myself mixed up in but of course, that would be a complete lie. I was no fool. I knew and had accepted the danger, implied or otherwise.
Now I had to face the music and suck it up. Maybe the real Maria was right and one day I'd thank her for allowing me to steal her life.
Nope. I had a feeling I'd spit on her grave instead.
I took a deep breath, closing my eyes and trying to find some peace inside in making this decision. There was none that could be found, only a continued angst, especially as the seconds rolled into minutes.
Five passed by ever so slowly.
Then another five or maybe ten. I'd already lost count. All I knew as that I continued to be sick to my stomach, my mind a strange blur of wonderment and determination. I would get through this and bring my mother back to safety.
Somehow.
Some way.
When another five plus minutes passed, I was certain I was going to have an anxiety attack. How could the bastard do this to me? How? Did I really deserve to be treated this way?
I was getting to the furious point when I heard the lock once again. Now I was frozen with fear just like I had been before.
His footsteps were slower than before as he closed the door then walked closer. When he was standing directly behind me, he took a deep breath and held it. The moment he exhaled, he issued the huskiest growl that I'd heard from him.
Yet he remained quiet, heading toward the bed. I dared steal a glance in his direction. He'd grabbed one of the pillows, tossing it into the center of the bed.
"It's time, Maria. Go lie down on the pillow."
I turned slightly to face him, noticing he was already starting to unfasten his belt. I couldn't seem to take my eyes off the thick leather strap, imaginary tight fingers clamping around my throat to the point of suffocation.
But I found myself obeying him. It was crazy yet it was the only thing I could do. Butterflies churned in my stomach, my feet like lead weights as I moved toward the edge of the bed. I could feel his gaze remaining on me, his breathing as labored as mine. Yet I sensed it was for completely different reasons. How could he be so aroused over punishing me?
Oh, yes. Because he was a dominating brute.
As I positioned my stomach across the soft pillow, I forced my mind to float away. If he wanted instant gratification, he wasn't going to get it from me whining or complaining. I was much stronger than he understood, and it was time I acted as if I was his partner instead of his submissive. Even the term made me sick inside.
I folded my arms under my head, realizing I was clenching my buttocks together. There was so much explosive heat in the room that beads of perspiration formed immediately over my top lip and at my hairline. I tried to keep my eyes closed, willing myself away from the moment, but I wanted to see what he was doing.
His approach was slow as well as electrifying and I was shocked when he took the time to roll two fingers all the way down the length of my spine to the crack of my ass. When he tapped my buttocks, I jumped involuntarily, fisting my hands in the process.
"Reach around and open your buttocks for me."
I wasn't certain I heard him correctly, his deep voice vibrating all the way into the heart of every muscle. "What did you say?"
"I need you to spread your ass cheeks for me."
"Why?"
"Because I commanded you to do so. At this point until I can trust you, every order I give you is to be followed without question. Is that clear?"
"Yes." You bastard. I held my tongue, feeling horrible, icky, and awkward as I did as he… commanded. I'd never felt so exposed in my life, my breath skipping as I licked my parched lips.
"Good girl. Now, in order to ensure that the spanking is as effective as possible, I'm going to augment the pain level."
Huh? I had no idea what he was talking about. Was he going to drive a butt plug into my asshole? Oh, dear God. I wasn't certain I could tolerate a foreign object being driven into part of me that wasn't normal. Wait a minute. Was any of this normal?
"It's going to feel a little cool then it will burn. That's exactly what you need."
"What is it?" I allowed my hands to slip and was rewarded with a hard slap on my bottom.
"It's ginger root. It's called figging."
"You're crazy." I knew exactly what figging was. I'd read about it as well as other truly kinky aspects of BDSM. I just wanted no part of it. When I started to lift my body in an effort to crawl away, Daniel immediately pressed his hand down on the small of my back.
"I suggest you realize that you're not going anywhere, my bride. I don't want to be forced to make this any more painful than it will already be for you. Now, return to position."
Goddamn this man. I hated him all over again. But as I'd done before, I obeyed him and that make me furious with myself. Seconds later, I felt the root being pressed against my asshole and bit back a scream. He took his time working it in, but that didn't mean it was any less uncomfortable as hell.
When he was finished, he patted my bottom again. "Good girl. Now, we wait for a few minutes."
He was kidding. Wasn't he?
The bastard walked to the window, taking his time to open it, allowing in fresh air and humidity. "I do so love the spring and summer weather here, but I could do without the heightened level of humidity at times."
The jerk was making polite conversation while I had something stuck up my butt? At least I didn't feel anything at all, but I wasn't going to tell him that. Maybe he'd accidentally gotten a defective piece. Oh, what a shame.
I returned my arms under me, trying to ignore his bantering about weather and flowers and whatever else he was talking to himself about. I wanted no part of it. Sadly, I was able to see his gorgeous form. He'd rolled up his sleeves, exposing the delicious-looking tattoos that covered a good portion of his body. Even the trousers he was wearing outlined a perfectly chiseled butt. No man so deadly and demanding should be that good looking. It just wasn't fair in the least.
He took several deep breaths and I noticed that while his belt was unfastened, it was still secured in his belt loops. Now I couldn't seem to take my eyes off the strap, wondering what it would feel like when cracked against my bottom.
The bastard was making me wait on purpose, using the moments of anticipation as another form of punishment.
I shifted and involuntarily clenched my bottom. That's the moment I felt the first tingling sensations. When I purposely tightened my buttocks again, I almost yelped as there was a distinct sting. Jesus. It felt as if a hot pepper had been shoved up my ass.
Oh, God. This was going to be bad.
He turned around, studying me with a slight smile on his face. I wanted so badly to call him horrible names. Thank God I didn't.
"How is it feeling?" he asked, as if he really cared.
"Fine."
"Good. Then I think it's time we get started. Don't you?"
Was that a serious question? Was the man out of his mind?
I shifted and wiggled as he rounded the bed, finally removing his belt ever so slowly. The last jerk freeing it brought an unstoppable moan from my lips. No. No. I just wanted him to get this over with.
He brushed his fingers down my back once again, tapping both sides of my bottom. "I do hope we won't need to do this every day, but if that's what becomes necessary, then I'm happy to keep you in line, providing what you need."
He really believed that women should be spanked on a regular basis? I was sicker than before. The second he brought the belt down across both ass cheeks, I clenched my bottom with enough force that I couldn't hold back a yelp. Not from the brutal crack itself but from the fact the tingling sensations had bolted to full blown pain, my mind a blur as the anguish started throbbing.
"Oh. My. God. Take it out."
"That's not going to happen until we're finished, Maria. But I have a feeling you won't attempt to escape again. Will you?"
Fuck, no. Oh, hell, no. Tears formed in my eyes as he brought the belt down four times. I wiggled and twisted, doing everything I could not to clench my muscles but every action I made seemed completely out of my control.
"You're doing very well." The savage whooshing sound the strap made as he brought it through the air was almost as disgusting as what he was making me endure.
I couldn't believe this form of punishment was ever used except maybe inside prisons. I bit back another cry as the spanking continued, beads of perspiration now running down both sides of my face. He added six more strikes and there was no chance I could keep from whimpering like a little girl.
But worse than the anguish or the level of humiliation he was putting me through was the fact I was wet, so much so I could feel my juice both trickling from the deepest part of my pussy and sticking to my thighs. It was crazy. I shifted back and forth and he took a moment to allow me to calm down even as a single sob erupted from my throat.
"Breathe for me, Maria. You're doing so well. I'm so proud of you."
Proud? He was fucking proud of me?
Why did that also make me tingle all over? Nothing was making any sense to me. Not one thing. Not the fact my mind was thinking about seeing his naked body or that my mouth was watering to have him thrust his cock with enough force his cockhead was driven into the back of my throat. Not the need to have his hot breath tingling every inch of my skin or to spend a full thirty minutes kissing his lush lips.
And I didn't mind the pain as much as I thought I would. There was some kind of powerful hold he had over me, the dominating man capable of making me feel like a pool of liquid. I continued to writhe and hump the pillow and with every strike, every stinging sensation, I was being driven closer to a moment of nirvana.
I couldn't stop my pussy muscles from clenching and releasing and suddenly out of the blue, a climax rushed into me. It was so powerful that every muscle tensed, my toes curling and the scream I issued was an unmistakable representation of what was happening.
The man was as shocked as I was, using the moment to drive his hand between my legs, swirling the tip of a single finger around my clit. That only made the moment that much more exciting, my mind blown away from the powerful sensations.
"Yes. That's amazing. You're so beautiful when you come." His voice was so husky and deep that I almost didn't understand what he was saying. He shifted his hand, using his thumb to torment my clit while driving his fingers deep inside, adding another layer of electric vibrations to the incredible moment.
I was sick, fully disgusted with myself but that didn't stop me from panting and writhing.
Only when I finally started to come down did he remove his hand and I almost cried out from the loss. He resumed the spanking with more gusto, bringing the strap across my bottom several blistering times. The heat blossomed across my entire buttocks, keeping my breathing irregular.
The feeling of being exhilarated yet exhausted was completely strange, the stinging sensations moving to a dull throb. I clamped my hands around the comforter, tugging as if that would do any good.
"We're almost finished. Four more."
When he brought the belt down those four times, I bit into the comforter to hold in my scream. He used all the gusto he could to bring the point home that I was to obey him no matter what occurred in my poor excuse for a life.
I wasn't certain he was finished until he positioned the belt beside my head, allowing me to see the implement of doom. That's what I was going to call it from now on.
The way he slowly sat down on the edge of the bed was almost nurturing. I half expected him to gather me in his arms, forcing me to sit on his lap. But he simply eased strands of hair from my face, caressing my skin.
"I was worried about you, Maria. I realize we know almost nothing about each other. Likes. Dislikes. We haven't dated or become friends. We don't know each other's values or needs, desires for life and for a relationship. It's entirely possible we won't be compatible and you'll always think of me as a monster. I am a dangerous man with an even more treacherous job, but I'm not the complete beast you think I am. I do care about certain things in my life, although I think up to this point, I've taken them for granted. Family. Celebrations. Christmas. Barbeques."
Why in God's name was he telling me this? I was very surprised, so much so I placed my head on my folded hands so I could see him better.
"Anyway, I hope that we can learn more about each other to make the situation at least tolerable. I can't promise you that I'll do what you need to change your mind about me. What I will promise is that I'll do everything in my power to keep you protected. You have my word on that. You are my wife, and the sooner you realize that, then the better off we'll both be. Get some rest."
He leaned over, gently removing the ginger and even stranger than the rest of what had occurred was that once again, I felt a strange sense of loss. I wasn't certain what that was telling me about myself, but whatever it was, it terrified me more than spending time with my… husband.
I couldn't take my eyes off him, frozen by the way he was looking at me.
I knew he was going to ravage me.
And there was nothing that I could do.
Not now.
Not ever.
He'd just made his claim once again, only I'd never get another chance to escape.