Chapter 23

CHAPTER 23

" I lost my way all the way to you and in you I found my way."

—Atticus

One week later

Kenya

Marriage.

I'd convinced myself I hadn't wanted to marry anyone. Just the thought of being attached to them for the rest of my life seemed impossible. I could handle a situation like a lease on a car. Maybe entering into a five- or seven-year commitment then both parties reevaluating when the term was close to being up.

That might help drive the high divorce rate below the national average of thirty-three percent. Or maybe I was fooling myself. However, I'd been forced to take a hard look in the mirror over the last whirlwind of days.

Today was my wedding day. It had turned out to be an arranged one after all.

Or was it?

It had felt as if I'd been floundering my entire life, searching for something or someone. I'd tried so hard not to be myself, to lose my heritage and any love of my family. I'd ignored what I felt in my heart, certain working eighty plus hour weeks would soothe the anger and the loneliness.

Well, I could see how that had worked out.

But as odd as it sounded, amid the violence and distrust that had thrown Beckham and me together, I was certain I'd finally found my way. In him. In us. No, in me. Maybe that's why I was more nervous now than I had been.

At first, it had seemed like a good business arrangement, tangible and useful for both of us. A part of me had wanted Beckham to trust me, to understand just how much I'd hated my father. But now? Now, as I'd experienced so many times after meeting the man, everything seemed entirely different.

"You look beautiful." Georgia was married to Sabatino, her own background one of similar difficulties. She'd always run away from everything she'd known to protect her child. Sabatino had come crashing into her life, something she hadn't known she'd needed. She now had a second child, adoring the man she'd married.

"Thank you. I appreciate your help. All of you." I turned around to face the various women who were married to the members of the Brotherhood. We were in an alliance of our own, twelve women who were sworn to secrecy about the powerful organization. Twelve women who'd initially had no desire to become involved with dangerous men.

And twelve women who shared the same passion for life.

"We're happy to be here," Jade said, lifting her champagne glass. She was married to Constantine. Her insane stories had kept all of us laughing during this last hectic week. If the girls hadn't been here, not only propping me up but reminding me why it was okay to marry a very dangerous man, I doubted I could go through with today.

"We are," Carina added. Her story with Diego and Dante Santos had fascinated me. But she'd fallen head over heels in love with the wrong twin only because of subterfuge on Dante's part. I was pleasantly surprised the two brothers were now as close as they were. Their movie production empire was the thing legends were made of. In addition, she had a recording studio and had vowed to help both Beckham and me get what would be our fledging recording company back on its feet after the fire.

Yes, Beckham and I had spent some time making plans for the future that had nothing to do with the assassins or the fucking Death Squad. That was in between our extreme acts of passion that had kept us very busy.

I was sore as all get out from the rough round of sex the night before. But I'd loved every minute. He'd fucked me as if time was running out.

In Jenna Diamondis, I found different strengths, her love of being a veterinarian something I adored. She was the true animal lover of the group, her adoration of all furry creatures rubbing off on many of the others, many of them owning dogs or kitties.

Perhaps Beckham and I needed a dog. It sounded like a good idea to me. And before we had a child. It might be a good training ground.

Whew. I was already planning years in the future when I wasn't certain we'd have much longer on this earth.

I couldn't avoid the melancholy that had plagued me the last few days. That might be because of the numbers of soldiers who were everywhere in town, around the houses, following us wherever we went. It was as if we were celebrities. If the townsfolk knew or cared, it wasn't obvious. At least the soldiers seemed to disappear into the woodwork most of the time.

That didn't make the mental and emotional overload any easier. I was struck by how much I'd changed over the last two weeks, so much so I almost didn't recognize myself. Yet a part of me felt as if this was all pretend.

"Have you heard anything from your father or brother?" Penny asked. She'd only recently gotten married to Kraven Sokolov, her most recent experience of putting a wedding together providing a good backdrop of information.

"No. Nothing. Not that I thought I would." I'd sent the invitation to my old address. The property was still owned by my family but from what Beckham had discovered, neither man had been seen for at least two months.

That corroborated the fact they were in the throes of protecting the big guns within the Death Squad.

"Well, the guests are just starting to arrive." Carina was looking out the window at the well-organized event.

Massive tents had been rented in case of inclement weather but at least Mother Nature was working with us, the day bright and beautiful, even warmer than it should be in May in New Hampshire. There were flowers and decorations everywhere, the trellis just waiting for our arrival where a minister would perform the ceremony.

We'd arranged for a band and a dance floor, two bars and enough food for an army. The house and grounds were protected, but we hadn't been able to lock everything down like a fortress given the number of guests who were in the process of arriving.

That would raise red flags to anyone who was paying attention.

It was entirely possible the house was being watched, which was one reason I had the creepy crawlies.

The other was I simply wasn't certain I was doing the right thing.

"Do you love him?" Georgia asked a few seconds later. She was in the process of refilling all our glasses for a massive toast.

I didn't need to think about the question. "Yes, very much."

"Then stop being so worried. Everything is going to work out just fine."

"But how do you ladies do it? How can you raise a family while guards follow you all hours of the day and night?" It was an honest question and one I'd wanted to ask for some time.

The women all seemed to glance at each other. Margot walked closer. She had another interesting story on her road to finding the man of her dreams. She'd been an actress hired by an Italian mafia princess dying of cancer. Fortunately, the real Maria had not only survived but was thriving, yet in acting the part of Daniel Thorn's fiancée, another arrangement made by two families, she had a unique perspective on the life.

"At first, at least for me, it wasn't easy. I'm not going to lie to you. I always looked over my shoulder, hating the fact I felt locked down. But you soon begin to realize the men sworn to protect your life would do anything to keep you safe and not just because they're paid well to do so, and it gets much easier. The same guards have been with me since the beginning and I consider them family. They shared holidays with us."

"You're right. Me too. The soldiers have an innate sense of loyalty to the family, respect for the man in charge," Jade tossed in.

I nodded, knowing how so many of Beckham's men felt about him. Jeff had certainly warmed up to me, teasing me almost as relentlessly as Beckham liked to do. Even Beckham's entire family had welcomed me with open arms, his mother making a point of doting on me as if I was expecting a baby. I had a sense that's what she was hoping for.

Still, with all the support of the amazing women, all the laughter we'd been able to share and the passion the nights had brought, a sick feeling remained pooling in my stomach.

"In other words," Carina said softly, "you get used to it and suddenly, you don't see them. Plus, if Beckham is anything like my big boy Dante, he'll soften and you won't care about anything else." She fanned her face as a warm flush crept up her cheeks.

"And it's not like we've been under direct attack by anyone these past months and years," Jenna added. "With so much of our businesses at least being legitimate, we normally don't have boogeymen chasing us."

"What about the Death Squad? Don't you fear what they are capable of?" I asked, taking a gulp of the champagne. I had a feeling I'd be completely intoxicated by the time the wedding even started.

"You can't think about it, at least not today." Taylor grabbed the freshly opened bottle, topping me off. "This is a celebration and unless you don't want to marry that handsome man any longer, I suggest you shove the ugliness aside."

"Hear, hear," at least a couple of them said.

As they all crowded around me, I felt such a joy being near them that I was able to shove some of my concerns away.

But not all of them.

I'd prayed to God my idea wasn't going to get anyone killed today.

"To the blushing and very beautiful bride," Jade said, lifting her glass. "May the two of you find utmost joy in spending the rest of your lives together. There will be difficulties and arguments, concerns and sickness, but it really is true what they say. Love can be the best gift you give yourself. Being able to open your heart to someone else will always conquer evil."

"Since when did you become such a philosopher?" Georgia threw out.

We all laughed. If only the butterflies hadn't turned into angry bees swarming my stomach as if prepared to eat me alive. We took a sip of our champagne and once again, I was happy they were here. While I'd called Janie to let her know I was alive and safe, the last thing I wanted was to put her life in jeopardy. At least nothing terrible had occurred since we'd left, which provided some sense of comfort.

The light rap on the door meant it was time. When Jenna opened the door, she almost slammed it immediately in Beckham's face.

"You're not supposed to be in here!"

I laughed given half the other women were trying to block his view. "It's okay, ladies. I have no one else to walk me down the aisle so we're going to take the entire plunge together."

"Plus, you can't keep me away from the woman I so adore." Beckham gently pushed his way through the crowd. I had to admit, the man did look sensational in a tuxedo. Instead of it being traditional black, he'd chosen an off-white jacket.

He had a twinkle in his eyes and the moment they fell on me, he was genuinely taken aback. For all the powerful looks he'd given me, his eyes darkening from extreme lust, the expression he wore was entirely different.

And it obviously caught the eyes of the woman all studying him intently. They backed away as if the Red Sea was parting, allowing him access. All with smiles on their faces.

"Wow. I'm going to need to remind Dante he better start looking at me that way or I might have a fling with one of Beckham's brothers."

A few of the girls laughed and Jade grabbed the unopened bottle. "Come on, girls. Let's leave the lovebirds alone."

For a few incredible seconds, I felt like a beloved princess, as if I was soon to walk down a red velvet carpet. Well, in truth I was. I'd insisted there be one, which was ridiculous of course, but it was my wedding day.

Oh, shit. It was my wedding day.

Someone closed the door and the quietness was almost unnerving. He kept his distance for a full minute before slowly moving toward me. When he was only inches away, I breathed in his exotic aftershave and shuddered audibly.

"Are you okay?" he asked.

"I'm fine. You?"

"You know, for the first time in my life I realize what I want."

"What's that?"

He lifted his arm, curling his fingers. There was so much emotion in his eyes that I was floored. Every action was gentle as he brushed his knuckles lightly down my cheek, cocking his head just enough I could tell he was deep in thought. "Loving a woman who stills my heart and reminds me that every single day is worth living life to its fullest."

"Aren't you worried about tomorrow?" I was quivering all over from the huskiness in his voice as well as the jolts of current that were always present around him.

"As my mother always told me, tomorrow will take care of itself. It's all about what we do with today. Today, I'm marrying the most beautiful woman in the world, someone I hope to spend the rest of my life with."

"So you love me."

The corners of his mouth curled. "Yes, my little fighter. More than I thought I had the capability of. What's that phrase? Today is nothing more than the first day of the rest of our life."

He took the glass from me, taking a sip before lowering his head. As always, his grip around the side of my neck was firm, his way of reminding me that on the day I brandished a knife at him, I'd belonged to him. So much had occurred in less than three weeks I was still shell-shocked. Yet his kisses, his touches, and the way he stared into my eyes kept me wanting more.

As I pressed my hand against his chest and his heart, I was surprised how fast it was beating. He was trying to be so strong for me, acting as if the entire situation with the mysterious group wasn't something I should be concerned about.

I knew better of course. I'd been privy to all the information and what I'd learned had scared me to death. Billions of people had no idea how easily the bastards could corrupt the entire network system of information and our lives would essentially disappear. Of course there were safeguards in place everywhere but by all appearances, the private group from hell had found a way to work around them.

Maybe that's what scared me to death, my entire life vanishing. Then again, why was it any different than what I'd tried to do a few years before? He crushed his mouth over mine, which delighted the bad girl inside of me. I was lightheaded, more so than normal. Maybe it was the champagne, but I felt drunk on the man instead.

It felt natural being in his arms, the man extremely protective. For all his roughness, his dark and dangerous abilities, he was a real pussycat inside. The thought brought a deep need into my heated core. I could easily fuck the man right here in my virginal white wedding dress.

Oh, what a sin that would be.

As if reading my mind, the moment he broke the sweet peace of our intimacy, he nipped my bottom lip, even dragging his tongue to my earlobe. "Be careful, bad girl. I can read your thoughts."

Another tremor coursed through me. "I thought you liked me bad to the bone?"

I adored his laugh and today was no exception. "You are very right. However, we have a couple things to do and guests waiting for us."

"No sign of dear old Daddy?"

He took a deep breath, gently rolling the tip of his index finger down my neck to my chest before backing away. "No. I have scouts out looking for any sign on him or your brother on the roads coming in. So far, nothing."

"Maybe they're onto us or they just don't care."

"Don't count them out yet, my darling. But this day isn't just about whether or not we can glean additional information. If that's all you think it is then we're calling this off."

"I don't want to do that."

"Do you want to get married to me?"

"Yes, I do. It's crazy but I can't wait to be your wife."

He grinned, the rare sight of his slight dimples making me swoon. "I can see having the other women here was a damn good idea."

"Very funny."

With the heated look remaining on his face, he slipped his hand into his pocket. "I do have something for you."

"A chastity belt?"

Another laugh allowed me to relax just a little. "I should have thought of that. Yes, I'll put it on the list for tomorrow because if any man dares try and touch you, they will die. Period. The end."

"And here I thought I hated that side of you."

"Nah, you love me." He led me to the mirror, turning me around. He placed a lovely velvet box onto the small desk turned into a makeup station, pulling out the most incredible necklace I'd ever seen.

"Oh, God. Are those real?" Diamonds. Rubies. Emeralds and sapphires all in an incredible eighteen-inch necklace. It must have cost him a fortune.

"Of course they're real. What in the world do you think of your husband to be?"

"Do you have an hour?" He smacked me on the butt three times for my smart response before wagging his finger in the reflection.

"I think a wedding spanking will be in order later. Maybe I'll do it in front of our guests. And don't you dare say it."

"What?"

"You know what. You wouldn't dare."

He grabbed the necklace, gingerly placing it around my neck. As soon as he fastened the clasp, I pressed my hand against it. "This is incredible. Thank you."

After kissing the nape of my neck, he stared into the mirror. "Anything for my beautiful wife. Just remember, whatever happens today we will get through."

"I know. You walked me through the plan. I'll take the other girls to safety. Just be careful. I don't want you to die on me."

He grinned. "Before my wedding night, baby? Not a chance in hell."

In hell. Why did him saying that worry me so much?

"Come on. Time to get hitched," he said as he backed away, holding out his hand.

"Always the romantic, aren't you?"

"Of course. You taught me well."

"I think I need to teach you a few additional lessons."

I'll be damned in the man didn't jerk me against him all over again, dropping his head and nuzzling my neck. When he bit down, I couldn't help but issue a sharp yelp.

"What was that for?" I panted, trying to push him off.

I could tell by the gleam in his eyes he was entirely too pleased with himself. "I've marked you as mine. Now I dare anyone, including my brothers to touch a hair on that pretty little head of yours."

As I pressed my hand on the bite, I had no doubt in my mind it was going to bruise. The sexy bastard. "And what if they do? I'm curious what you'll do."

"Beat their asses."

Why did his words thrill me as much as they did?

"Do you have your weapon in position?" he asked a few seconds later, sadly breaking the sweet moment.

I tugged at the sweeping material of my wedding dress, allowing him to see the thigh holster he'd given me only the day before. The gun was positioned for easy access, at least after fighting the satin and lace of my wedding dress. "Do you really think they'll show?"

The truth was I wasn't entirely certain who I was referring to. My father and brother? Maybe I hadn't juiced up the bait enough for them to bother attending. Assassins from the Death Squad? Oh, great. Now I couldn't get images of a blood massacre out of my mind.

"It's a crap shoot, baby, but we're prepared." Beckham allowed me to see the weapon he was carrying in the inside pocket of his tuxedo. How insane it was for both of us to be packing at our wedding.

What a life.

"I don't like this," I said, more absently than anything.

"Don't think about the possibilities of what could happen. Think about what is happening. You asked me to marry you, didn't you?" His teasing voice had returned.

"You're never going to let me forget that. Are you?"

"Doubtful."

He had a way of disarming me and had since the beginning but sadly, he couldn't take away the rattling case of nerves of the foreboding feeling that refused to go away. Maybe practicing leading the women to the panic room, a place where no one could find or get to us had finally unraveled me altogether. The women knew the location as well. So did the other members of the Brotherhood. It was entirely possible our families would be massacred here on this day but we'd be perfectly safe.

I didn't like the odds.

I couldn't stand the thought.

This was supposed to be a celebration I would remember for the rest of my life. Then why did I feel the need to have a crushing panic attack?

Even worse, why did I sense the level of danger had just reached the critical level? Someone near and dear was going to die tonight.