Chapter 21

CHAPTER 21

K enya

The ruthless Beckham was right about love and hate, only the truth was they were toxic lovers at best, determined to destroy each other. While I'd learned early on it was possible to love and hate at the same time given my upbringing, I didn't think it was possible with a man I couldn't get enough of.

The moonlight was all I needed to see the flash of amazement in his eyes as he processed what I'd just suggested.

I had no idea why the idea had come to me, but I didn't give myself a chance to think about the fact I was tethering myself to him for likely the rest of my life. Men like Beckham never allowed a possession to go easily if at all.

Right now, the mixed emotions were playing with my heartstrings. We'd just fucked when I'd believed wholeheartedly he was going to toss me over the side. That's what he'd wanted me to think so I wouldn't lie to him.

Goddamn it, I should hate him for the rest of my natural life for the mental and emotional torment he'd just put me through. Why was it that I was falling head over heels instead?

It wasn't like I knew the man at all. It certainly wasn't like we'd been childhood sweethearts rekindling what we'd once shared. No, he was little more than a dangerous stranger.

The man could just as easily hurt or kill me as anything else and at any time. As odd as it might sound, I thought my suggestion had just formed a new bridge of trust made of steel.

He cupped both sides of my face, his chest heaving. "You are as brilliant as you are beautiful. My answer is easy. Yes."

The man had so many talents, not the least of which knowing the Russian language, but in my mind, he had the ultimate special power.

He'd made me crave him to the point of no return. Now I'd shifted into knowing I couldn't be without him. At least not for long.

He'd managed to drive me to addiction, the intense cravings something that I knew would eventually destroy me.

Like a moth to a flame.

But there was no denying or stopping the way I felt.

He swept me into his arms as he'd done before, taking the steps slowly and carefully until we were once again inside. With his eyes locked on mine, he took long strides down the hallway, entering a stateroom I'd yet to be in. He swung me around in a full circle, allowing me to see the incredible room before easing me down to my feet.

It was silly of me to almost think of this moment as more than it was, but I sensed it in his actions, by the way he was looking at me, and by the heaviness of his breathing. Everything had changed between us.

There were no secrets, no fears of him learning anything else horrible about me and I'd sensed from day one he was an open book. He had nothing to hide, no reason to care about what anyone thought.

There was no pretense about this moment either as he rolled the light jacket from my shoulders, allowing it to hit the floor. His entire face was furrowed as he crawled his fingers down my sides, tugging the dress up ever so slowly, rolling it over my head.

I was more nervous than at any other time. While it might not make sense to anyone, if I dared tell them about our caustic relationship and how it started out, it was the truth. My breathing was shallow, my pulse erratic as I fumbled to jerk off his shirt.

Suddenly, everything became a huge blur, a frenzy of need as we were becoming even closer.

Everything he'd told me shouldn't make any sense, but I had no doubt my father was involved. It was so like him to want to rule the world, acting as if the only way to get everything he wanted was through brutality and violence.

I couldn't be certain if Beckham and his family were any different, but I sensed an urgency in his conviction. It was almost as if he had a deep longing to protect what little could be considered normal about his life. His clothes were suddenly off and I was allowed to feel the heat shared between us. It was unfathomable to think I wanted this man as much as I did.

Being by his side was worth taking the risk of not only finding myself locked inside a dangerous world but losing myself to it in the process.

The only hope I had was that he wouldn't crush my rather fragile heart along the way.

As he'd done so many times before, he cupped both sides of my face, yet the hold was entirely different. Even more intimate. He kept his fingers fanned out, using his thumbs, brushing them aimlessly back and forth. The way he was slowly shifting his head was so telling, so inviting.

And so damning.

He was accepting me into his world, into his life. It was supposed to have been a long time coming, not after he'd threatened me with bodily harm.

And the toxicity continued.

The man seemed taller and stronger, his muscles as rock hard as his cock. Everything about him screamed with passion. However, I was prodded by the voice inside, reminding me he was also a ferocious animal.

A self-proclaimed one.

That became even more evident when he crushed his lips against mine. We'd kissed several times before, but it had always seemed as if he was playing along, performing the act instead of enjoying the moment. Right now, he exuded sexual prowess but also a strange hint of desperation, the same frenzied need I'd felt all along for him.

Maybe the savage man was letting go.

Maybe I was losing more screws in my mind.

The kiss was a whispered breath at first, the taste of him a crazy concoction of wine and scotch, champagne and something that hinted of wild raspberries. I could easily get swept away in the moment, falling into a trap of his making.

He was dominating in every way, tonight no different except the explosion of feelings shifting back and forth. I was high on the intoxicating moment, perhaps drunk on the possibility that one day I could love this man.

One day.

If we had the time to get to know each other.

If the world survived whatever insanity was coming our way.

He swept his tongue inside, drinking from me as if it was his life's blood. I was breathless both from the intensity of my need and the way he was kissing me. Frantically. Manically.

Like a man possessed.

Seconds later, he crawled us both onto the bed, sliding an arm under me and easing me down to the comforter. I was pitched into another strange series of emotions, sliding into another push and pull moment. But as he broke the kiss, brushing his lips from one side of my jaw to the other, I no longer cared about fighting him.

What was the point? He would still take what he wanted.

His slow and tender series of kisses shifted down the side of my neck to my chest. Now he was using his tongue, dragging it between my breasts and underneath both. But when he sucked on my nipple, I jerked up from the bed onto my elbows. I wanted to watch him. I needed to breathe. I didn't want to miss a thing about this moment.

The sensations were so powerful they created a series of vibrations. I moaned and tossed my head as he shifted to my other nipple, sucking and biting down. The pain was amazing, more so than before. It was as if I was feeling things even deeper, allowing myself to become the unbridled woman I suspected he wanted.

And at this moment, I certainly didn't mind giving it to him.

With every swipe of his tongue, I sensed a greater urgency, a need that he'd tried to fight as well. But here we were, both in desperate need of the other. He had his eyes locked on me as he rolled his lips down my abdomen, causing a ticklish reaction.

I couldn't help but laugh, my mind already spinning to a moment of bliss.

In a sinfully delicious move, he gathered my legs in his arms, spreading them wide open and driving the entire length of his tongue inside. I was slickened and sticky from his cum, shocked he was as hard as he was so soon.

But this was filthy and decadent. I arched my back, gasping for air as he feasted on my wetness, burying his entire face into my pussy.

He was making intense animal-like sounds, adding to the insanity and God, I loved it. So much so I wasn't just wet from being so excited. Beads of perspiration were also rolling down both sides of my face.

"Oh. Yes. Yes. Yes."

I couldn't care less if anyone heard me. I was unhinged and loved every second of it.

The man was nothing but an animal, licking and making slurping sounds. Who did that? Oh, yes, a real beast in the wild. I was torn between wanting this to last forever and wanting to beg him to drive his cock back into my aching pussy.

I had a feeling I wouldn't need to make that request. He would do so when he chose and how he determined he would take me.

Since when had I ever wanted to give up control? And to a man? God, no.

There was no holding back the crazy and electric orgasm as it rushed into me. My scream was scattered at best because my breathing was cut off, my lungs doing everything to try to capture enough air.

He shook his head back and forth, the effect more stimulating than before. I was driven into an even more intense wave as if electric prods were being driven into various parts of my body. This was what pure ecstasy was all about.

The moment wasn't nearly long enough but I knew he was losing his control for a second time. At least I knew I had that kind of effect on him. He reared back, gasping for air. The look on his face was indescribable but managed to catch me off guard.

I was trying to learn how to breathe all over again as he crawled between my legs. The man had no need to position his cock. He simply drove it inside my pussy. The ache was real, so ripped full of current I knew I screamed out fully and completely, but my mind was a foggy blur.

He planted his arms on either side of me, his upper lip curling on both sides. His eyes were even more piercing than before, never blinking as he fucked me long and hard.

How could he have so much control? How could he be this hard so soon? Too many questions muddled my mind that didn't need answers.

I was just about ready to squeeze my muscles in my Herculean effort to resume some control when he pulled all the way out, wagging his finger at me, his smile getting bigger.

As he flipped me over onto all fours, he cracked his hand against my backside several times. The stimulation pulled at every part of me. I dropped my head, placed into a beautiful lull as he brought me to the brink of total surrender.

That occurred when he jammed his thumb inside of my asshole, pumping several times. The pain was nothing like it had been before.

Only a few seconds passed before it was obvious he was too far gone, his needs returning. As soon as he pressed the tip of his cock into my dark hole, he wrapped his fingers around my hair, using the long strands as a leash.

And he rode me long and savagely like a horse, pushing at every button of decency and desire. So much of my life had been filled with hiding who I was, doing my best to deny my heritage. Now I was able to confide in a man who was likely one of a few who could completely understand my reason for hiding the information and for cringing every time our family name was mentioned.

It was an insane moment of feeling even freer than I had before, completely devoid of the heavy weights wearing me down over the years. I was breathless, happy, and it didn't make any sense.

Beckham rubbed his fingers down my spine, whispering words that were so filthy I felt a flush of heat creeping up both sides of my face.

"You're my little whore. I'm going to enjoy fucking you every single day. You will obey me. If not, you will be punished."

There was a different lilt to his voice even if it was still dark and dangerous.

Just like the man.

I was so into the moment I couldn't care less about anything else around us.

But us.

If there really was such a thing.

Beads of his sweat dripped down to my back, rolling ever so gently off both sides. I knew almost instantly when he was losing all the stamina that had kept him going. It had seemed he was on a mission to claim every inch of me, ensuring I knew there really was no chance at turning back.

No matter the brutality, the concern, or the uncertainty about our future, I felt safer than I had in a very long time.

If not my entire life.

And as he made the most animalistic sounds to date, all I could was smile, enjoying the insane feeling of his hot seed filling my darkest hole.