Chapter 20

True to her promise, their entire lovely dinner was free. Georgia announced her departure by blowing kisses at the staff and swearing to strong-arm her aunt into giving them raises. Her tanned face had taken on a flushed undertone from all the alcohol.

Lucky asked, “Can you do that for them?”

“Sure can.” Georgia giggled. Off the clock, her personality still had a blunt edge, but she was also louder and harsher. She talked faster, swore constantly, laughed with her entire body, and did the cutest little shimmy at the most random times. “I own twenty-five percent of Ditto Road. I’ll fight for them and win.”

“Wow.”

“I know, I’m privileged,” she said with a playful sneer. “I never said I wasn’t. My family worked hard so I don’t have to but choose to anyway. I want my own shit to pass down to my kids. That’s why we’re helping Rebel, you know? Collectively”—she held up her hands—“we all have resources to devote to that precious little miss and nothing will stop us. Our company is small but mighty and we take care of each other and our families.”

“Sounds like a slogan.”

“I’m drunk. I’ll do it better when I’m sober. Oh, shit!” Georgia grabbed Lucky at the waist, pulling her toward the street chanting, “Cross, cross, cross!”

Lucky caught on and took the lead, helping the increasingly wobbly Georgia, who then made them crouch down behind a parked car to spy on a small group as they walked down the opposite sidewalk.

“What was that for?” Lucky asked.

“I don’t want him to see me!”

“Who?”

“Elvin. That’s him in the gray hoodie.”

Lucky didn’t bother to look, instead checking the time on her phone. Late enough for Rebel to be sleeping, but Maverick might still be up. She also had two more missed calls from Unknown. Once Georgia was positive Elvin had no chance of turning around and spotting her, they continued walking to the parking garage.

“How can you see through those things at night?” Georgia asked.

“Lots of practice. The tint isn’t as dark on these glasses.” Lucky could still see everything clearly—the downtown city lights were bright enough for that—but her ability-blocking effectiveness dropped to forty-five percent. She kept her gaze on the ground or the sky to avoid accidentally making eye contact with anyone. “So, what’s wrong with Elvin?”

“Nothing.”

“Uh-huh.”

Georgia sighed. “It was Christmas. I was lonely. Things happened in an outdoor shed, and he hasn’t moved on. You know how it is.”

“No. I don’t.”

“But you know what I mean. Don’t get all judgey on me.”

“I’m not judging you.” She smiled to show her sincerity. “But I honestly don’t know. Can’t relate.”

“Oh, really?” Georgia’s irritation faded to suspicion.

“Really.” Lucky thought quickly, trying to come up with a simple way to explain without getting too into the weeds. “I don’t have any experience with, uh, inclinations that would lead to spontaneous hookups. It’s not for me.”

Georgia’s jaw dropped as she slapped Lucky’s arm. “You are not asexual. Shut up!”

“I—what? You know what that is?”

“Stop being so shy, oh my god. Inclinations, are you kidding me?” Georgia looped her arm through Lucky’s as if they’d been friends for years. “My cousin is ace and he’s told me all about it.”

If she’d been drinking, she probably would’ve started choking again. But instead of being horrified, Lucky was elated. She started laughing, straight from her belly, very nearly a cackle.

“What’s so funny?”

“How did you even guess that?” she managed, through her laughing fit. “I thought I was being vague.”

“Girl, I said the words ‘Maverick’ and ‘fucking’ and you almost died. I mean, I could’ve been dead wrong. You could’ve said no and explained but…you haven’t denied it.” She pinned her with a glassy-eyed stare.

“Because it’s true.” Lucky had to take several deep breaths to calm herself before she could continue. A couple going the opposite direction passed by them with a cordial greeting, but Georgia claimed to not know them. The parking garage was still a good distance away. “I really wasn’t expecting you to figure me out like that. I haven’t laughed that hard in a long time.”

Georgia, still holding on to Lucky’s arm, squeezed in closer to her. “I told you this is my lane and I make it a point to be open-minded.”

“I wish more people were like that.”

College was hell on both the friendship and romantic fronts, but Lucky did have one boyfriend—Louis. He appeared seemingly out of nowhere while she was at the grocery store and asked her out on a date. She still had fond memories of it because it’d gone so well. He kept trying to make her laugh, repeatedly told her she was pretty, and even asked good questions. After a few more dates, he asked her to be his girlfriend. At the time, all she could think was Someone actually likes me? Welp this’ll probably be my only shot. In hindsight, she should’ve thoroughly thought things through before saying yes.

“So, where do you fall on the spectrum?” Georgia asked conversationally.

“You are way too excited about this,” Lucky said, trying and failing to keep a straight face. How was Georgia able to ask that question like it was nothing? She didn’t sound judgmental or invasive—she made Lucky feel like they were just two friends gossiping.

“No such thing and you don’t have to beat around the bush about your sexuality.”

“I’m not. I just feel a little uncomfortable, like I’m not supposed to talk about it.”

“Why?”

“Because people always say stuff like I don’t care if you don’t want to have sex or That’s not a real sexuality because everyone feels that way at some point, but that’s not how it works. It makes me feel like I’m not allowed to have a spot in the conversation. What I say doesn’t matter so I just keep it to myself.”

“Pfft.” She snorted. “That’s bullshit. You can talk to me about it all you want.”

Lucky wanted to take her up on that offer…just not on the street in front of so many random people walking around. She waited until they made it to the car, taking the keys from Georgia, who was way too drunk to drive. She aimed for casual as she programmed the GPS. “Is it really okay if we talk about sex and stuff?”

“I said it was.” Georgia yawned.

“Well, I think sex sounds good in theory. In practice, not so much. I categorize it as the triple p’s. I’m not interested in the performance and politics of sex. The pleasure part can stay.”

“You’re such a nerd.” Georgia cackled with a signature shimmy. “Talk nerdy to me.”

Lucky laughed as she drove them out of the garage and back to the house. “That’s pretty much it. Although, I am low-key fascinated by the flip side of things. What it’s like to rip off someone’s clothes in unbridled desire, to be so lost I can’t think straight, and I need them right at that moment. Nailing someone to the wall with smoldering gazes while my lower body quivers and jumps with desire unleashing a waterfall. Romance books really sell it. They make it all sound so…fantastic.” She scrunched her nose. “But I don’t experience any of that. I don’t think about people in that way. And I really hate pretending that I do, so I don’t. Ever. I am who I am.”

“Amen to that.”

“People really discount how important acknowledging attraction, or lack thereof, can be in a relationship. They can pretend like it’s not until they’re blue in the face, but at the end of the day someone’s going to end up getting hurt way worse than if they’d been honest and communicated in the first place.” She’d been holding that in for a while and now that she started, she felt like she had to get it all out. “I know they’re scared of being seen as superficial or shallow because it reads like a moral failing. I understand where they’re coming from, but I was rarely extended the same courtesy.”

Georgia held up a hand. “Okay, hold on, you’re at about a nerdy level ten. Can you scale it back to like a three?”

“Sorry,” she said, embarrassed. “I get carried away sometimes.”

“No, no, it’s only ’cause I’m drunk. Sober me can handle your nerdy level ten. Test me tomorrow. I’ll prove it.” She giggled.

Lucky considered taking her up on that offer too. She never had a chance to talk about her feelings on the topic aloud before. It was strangely…freeing. Dating and romance and relationships had been on the back burner for so long they disintegrated into ashes. She’d accepted that she’d end up sacrificing more of herself than her partners and that simply wasn’t what she wanted for her life. Why chase happily-ever-after rainbows when she could seek out the supernatural?

Still, she did have some regrets. One, specifically.

“I think this might be level three?” Deciding to try being as frank as Georgia, Lucky admitted, “I’ve never had romantic, sensual sex. I think about it sometimes.”

“Candlelight. Roses. Massages. Silk sheets? Hmm?”

“Ehh, no. That seems like it’s straying a bit close to performance for me.”

“Foreplay?”

“No.” Lucky concentrated on the full moon for strength before turning her gaze back to the road. “I’ve never fallen in love before. I meant having sex with someone I’m deeply in love with. I wonder if it would feel different. What would it mean to me emotionally? Would it be better? Worse? I don’t know.”

“Ooh, that’s a good question. It feels different for me. Let me try to explain.” Georgia’s brow furrowed in concentration. “Outside of overwhelming desire it’s like there’s this mental tether between us, keeping us perfectly in sync.”

“Really?”

“Yeah, I think so. I mean, I’m not one hundred percent sure. It’s honestly hard to separate each individual feeling and put them in little boxes like I think you’d do—remember, level three.” She tapped her forehead and hiccupped. “It could also be the alcohol making me sound like a dumb bitch, who knows? But there was this moment with my first boyfriend after we’d been having sex for a couple of weeks. It had just stopped being awkward and we finally got to a place where we had it down, you know? We were in the middle of it and he said I love you for the first time and it was like my brain exploded. I remember being so shocked and I just…I just started bawling my eyes out.

“I’m crying like somebody died, he’s flipping out because he doesn’t know what happened, every inch of my body is so overwhelmed I feel like I’m never gonna recover. Think about it: I was seventeen, extremely hormonal, and on birth control for the first time. I didn’t stand a fucking chance.” She added softly, “I loved him with all of my heart, body, and soul.”

“Oh, wow. I can see how that would have such a memorable impact on you. Has that feeling happened again?”

She nodded. “Yeah, and I only know it because with that person, the lust was out of fucking control, and when it calmed down, I stayed anyway because I wanted to. Wild.”

“I wish I understood lust and sexual attraction outside of theory.”

“You’re definitely missing out.” Georgia laughed.

“I don’t think I am,” Lucky disagreed, with a headshake. She couldn’t miss something she didn’t experience in the first place. “To me, it’s like watching everyone enjoy eating chocolate cake but I’m deathly allergic to chocolate and wheat. I’ll be fine without that specific cake. There are countless other types and substitutions I can try so I can find something that I like if I want to. I just wonder about that one from time to time because it’s everywhere.”

“Well, if that’s the case, I wouldn’t. You’re ace and nerdy, babes—you gotta find a way to make that work for you.”

Back at the guesthouse, Lucky found Maverick sitting in the window seat nook. The cozy kind with a firm mattress, throw blankets, and built-in overhead lights.

“Georgia good?”

He looked sleepy, as if he were once again staying up just for her, but his eyes brightened as she sat in front of him, pulling a pillow into her lap. “Tucked into bed with a bucket just in case.”

“She’ll be fine. You’d be surprised how much she can drink and work the next day with no issues,” he said. “Ready for tomorrow?”

“Ready for you to regret wanting me here. I’m really not an actress. You’ll see.”

“The script is more of a guide. Don’t worry about delivering the lines as written. If it doesn’t feel right, improvise.”

She’d read through it ten times even though she’d memorized it after the first. “Right. Got it.”

“The most important thing is to follow Rebel’s lead. Georgia will keep you both on track.”

“Wait, where will you be?”

“Georgia and I have to wear multiple hats since we’re running this thing with a skeleton crew,” he said. “I’ll be scouting a second location that we got a lead on: a perfectly ordinary, abandoned office building. There aren’t any reports of supernatural activity, but it supposedly has a Backrooms feel. We agreed it would look good in the show, and I want to personally make sure it’s safe for Rebel to be there. Tomorrow, we’ll meet up for dinner before heading back to the park after closing.”

“Oh. Okay.” She nodded. The Backrooms was an internet urban legend about a seemingly infinite maze outside of reality. “Got that too.”

“You’re cute when you’re nervous.”

“I’m neither of those things.”

Maverick rubbed his face, grumbling as he looked out the window.

Lucky snickered. “Sorry. I’m working on the whole accepting your compliments thing. Be patient with me.”

“That I can do.” He moved closer to her and frowned. “I didn’t notice this before.” His thumb traced the long, jagged scar on her arm. He didn’t ask.

She chose to answer the question in his eyes anyway. “I shredded my arm on barbwire while running from security guards trying to detain me for trespassing.”

“I’d ask why, but I don’t know if I can handle it.” His fingers passed her wrist and lingered near her palm.

“Investigating a lead. It all started with an allegedly telekinetic man and his goat and ended with a trip to the hospital for stitches and a tetanus shot.”

“The goat is the wildest part of that story, isn’t it?” He chuckled, unsurprised. “All that but no ghosts, huh? I was waiting for you to change your mind about coming here, right up until we boarded the plane.”

Penny Place was a bona fide hoax. Rooted in the false myth of a tragedy, the urban legend belonged to the town. Mostly tested by teenagers at night with nothing better to do.

“There shouldn’t be ghosts at the park. Besides, wanting to help Rebel outweighed my reservations.” She shrugged, but then eyed him seriously. “But if they are there, please understand that I will flee for my life. If we’re alone, I’ll grab Rebel and run, otherwise don’t expect me to stick around.”

“It’s that serious?”

“Incredibly.” She was always down for a supernatural adventure but could run faster than Jurnee Smollett did in Lovecraft Country away from those monsters when she needed to. That scene had made her proud because it showed people how it was done. No tripping and falling and breaking an ankle—just pure purpose and an unbreakable will to stay alive.

“Why?”

“Because it is. It won’t make sense if I try to explain it.” Lucky leaned against him, resting her head on his shoulder. She tilted her head upward until her face was in the crook of his neck and inhaled.

“Come here.” And just like that, she was in his arms again. Her new favorite place to be. He leaned back against the wall, breathing deep and even as if he were about to fall asleep. She faced the window, her legs across his lap. “Tell me anyway,” he said. His lips brushed against her forehead.

“Because they come from humans. I can read them.” She sighed, squeezing her eyes shut.

“And that’s bad?”

Might as well tell him all of it. “Ghosts are vessels for strong emotions anchored by unfinished business, but their cores are gone. That’s what I read. That’s what I take into me—copies of who people are. Ghosts don’t hold on to who they were. I can’t even describe what they feel like instead. I—”

He shifted slightly, pulling back until they faced each other. Him gazing down at her. Her looking up at him, framed by the clear night sky. “The words are there. I’ve seen you do it. The way you translate your impressions feels like a dream to me. I can almost imagine the storyline. How lives will play out, the choices being made, the way it all connects together.”

“But I’m so bad at it.”

“You’re not, I promise. There’s an undeniable art to your impressions, Lucky. Concentrate on the feeling and paint me a picture. Give it shape. Tell me its story.”

“It’s like…” Her gaze shifted beyond him. The answer gently came into focus. “Imagine space.”

“Okay,” he encouraged.

“There are all these beautiful stars exhibited in a perfect filing system.” She smiled but it didn’t last. “Then comes this black hole. It can’t touch the stars. It doesn’t even warp around them or bend their light. But when I try to touch it, I can feel something desperate to pull me in. It wants me inside of it.

“I can’t forget impressions. The best I could do was lock it away, but I still feel it, drifting around in the deepest depths of my memory palace like a constant threat.” She looked at him again. “If one ghost did that, what would more do? If I ever got possessed by a ghost, I’m terrified I would disappear completely.”

His expression folded into worry. “Can you see ghosts?”

She sat up, caught in his gaze and refusing to let go, eager to reassure him. “I suspect I see them the way a regular person would: only if the ghost is strong enough,” she said. “Most people don’t have that kind of ESP. They just think they do but it’s incredibly rare to see a fully realized ghost. It happened to me once and that was enough. I avoid anywhere I think they might be.”

“Good. That’s good to know.” His smile was fleeting. “You always seem so eager to put yourself in dangerous situations. You have no idea how much I worry about you getting hurt.”

Lucky almost couldn’t believe that Maverick believed her. She saw it written all over his face. He wasn’t going to call her dramatic or stupid or weird. He wasn’t going to laugh or text his friends to make fun of her. An old, weathered piece of hurt she’d been carrying for years began to dissolve.

Everything felt like it was moving in slow motion.

She cupped her hand against his left cheek and softly kissed him on his right. He didn’t move as her fingers caressed across his jaw until she tried to pull away.

Maverick caught her hand in midair, kissing her knuckles. His second set of kisses turned into a smile against her palm at the sound of her surprised gasp. And then, he placed her hand back where it’d been against his cheek, holding it there.

All at once, she rushed forward and it was happening and then it wasn’t because she suddenly inhaled, stealing the literal last breath of air between them.

Reeling backward at the last minute, she ran to her room. “I have to go. Good night!”

Lucky dove into bed, burrowing under the covers. Shit, she’d done it again. She asked for slow. She told him slow.

Why did she feel like they were going a hundred miles per hour?

And why was she suddenly okay with not slowing down?

There was still so much she needed to tell him.

Lucky made the mistake of rolling over and locked eyes with Georgia, who was awake and staring at her.

Georgia read like an active war zone. A natural assertiveness complicated by extremism versus a deep fear of being docile—broken. She craved genuine human connection as if it were a basic necessity, enjoying the weight of other people’s lives when held against her own. Parts of her were also prone to falling into darkness but felt compartmentalized. Unable to fully take root.

“Not dating, huh?”

“Talking isn’t dating,” Lucky whispered.

“Late-night talking after everyone is sleeping is secret affair territory. How scandalous of you.”

“It’s not a secret affair.” She summoned her courage and whispered, “We’re taking it slow.”

“Not for much longer, if that look on your face has anything to say about it.” Georgia grinned. “Good night, babes.”