Chapter Nine

As Gray had seen firsthand on Saturday, New Orleans residents and visitors were passionate about Mardi Gras. In fact, almost every business and school in town was shut down for Lundi Gras, Fat Tuesday, and Ash Wednesday, including St. Charles Collegiate Academy. But Gray's comment to Jackson about having to wake up early for work on Sunday wasn't technically a lie, as Gray spent the morning drafting a strategic plan for the middle school's prospective-student campaign, then grabbed lunch with a couple of the journalists she'd met during a networking event to catch up on some local newspaper gossip. She spent the rest of the afternoon avoiding the deafening noise of the crowds by tucking herself away in her garage apartment to research companies she could convince to sponsor student scholarships.

On Tuesday, she happily ignored Cherry and Robbie's suggestion that she join the drunken revelers in the French Quarter for her first Mardi Gras in New Orleans, insisting she'd seen enough on her date with Jackson. Instead, Gray joined them and River in a family-friendly celebration at a nearby park. Seeing River delightedly dancing with someone in a purple, green, and gold unicorn costume made Gray even more satisfied with her decision to skip the R-rated celebrations elsewhere in town. Once River was knocked out from the day of fun, the adults stayed up late eating takeout and playing board games. And on Wednesday, she took advantage of the day off to complete her next date in the astrology challenge: Cancer.

With all the tourists in town, Gray had plenty of choices once she filtered Mercurious profiles to Cancers only. But most of them were either looking for a raucous night of debauchery or their one true love, neither of which fit Gray's goals. She'd finally connected with Carolina, a sweet, shy bisexual veterinary technician. They'd bonded over the many animal photos Carolina featured on her profile, but once they'd exhausted that topic, Gray struggled to keep up a flow like she had so easily done with Jackson. Once they hit a lull, Gray remembered to use Cherry's suggested icebreaker: "What's your favorite childhood movie?" This worked wonders. Carolina shared a list of her top-ten favorite Disney movies, with Toy Story coming in first due to her nostalgia for childhood toys. She gave her approval of Gray's answer—The Emperor's New Groove, the jokes always land—and dove into a monologue on Disney's live-action remakes of classics versus original new content. Having not watched a Disney movie outside of Star Wars and Marvel in the past five years, Gray could hardly keep up.

Just past eleven on Wednesday morning, Gray arrived at a midcity outdoor café that, despite being a few miles from the French Quarter, was still surrounded by discarded beads and plastic hurricane glasses. Gray scoped out the seated customers for the long, straight light-brown hair and big brown eyes she remembered from Carolina's profile. She spotted a woman sitting alone at a table set for two. Her hair looked a bit shorter than the Mercurious photos and she was wearing glasses. Gray supposed her photos could have been a little outdated. She strode over to the table and dropped into the open seat. "Hey, Carolina?"

The woman jumped a little at Gray's voice, her attention pulled from her phone. "Oh, no, I'm not Carolina."

"Oh!" Gray said, her eyes widened with surprise and a touch of embarrassment. "So sorry to disturb you." She smiled apologetically and jumped out of the seat, taking a few steps away to distance herself from Not Carolina.

"Gray?"

She turned and saw the real Carolina seated a few tables away. Trying to gain her bearings, Gray waved and slowly walked to the correct seat. She mustered a semi-confident smile and tried again. "Carolina?"

"Yes! Nice to meet you."

Gray sat down and tucked her aviator sunglasses into her shirt pocket. Her date's long hair, round eyes, and close-lipped smile matched her profile, although she didn't look so different from the woman Gray had mistaken for Carolina. "Hey. You have a doppelg?nger over there."

"Huh," Carolina said. "I have one of those faces, I guess. I went ahead and ordered a carafe of mimosas while I waited. They're what I always get when I'm here for brunch."

"Oh. Cool," Gray said, thinking that all she really wanted was a strong coffee. She'd stayed up too late playing a particularly heated game of Risk with Robbie and Cherry, but winning had made the lost sleep worth it in the end. And although she'd been feeling more confident in her first-date conversational skills after her evening with Jackson, the lack of sleep combined with the wrong-table gaffe put Gray right back in awkward territory. "Do you come here often?" she asked, realizing belatedly that she'd picked one of the most overused pickup lines of all time.

"Yeah, it's my go-to brunch spot. Had to get my usual—chocolate chip waffles with a side of hash browns—before I leave town on Friday."

"Where are you headed?" Gray asked.

"Happiest place on Earth."

Gray waited for clarification that didn't come. As the seconds stretched on, Carolina's eyebrows moved higher and higher up her forehead in a look of disbelief—and displeasure. Gray shifted in her seat. "Where's that?" she asked.

"Disney World," Carolina said slowly, as if the answer was entirely obvious.

"Oh, right," Gray said, flipping over the menu to glance at the brunch entrées. "I would ask for business or pleasure, but sounds like pleasure."

Carolina frowned. "It's actually for both. I'm a Disfluencer."

"A what?"

"A Disney influencer," Carolina said, a smidge of annoyance at Gray's na?veté audible in her words. "I have a Disney-focused Instagram account. I have almost forty thousand followers and this trip should push me over that. Dee-dubs trips are great for engagement."

Gray furrowed her brow. "Dee-dubs…"

"D.W.," Carolina spelled out. "Disney World?"

"Right." Gray looked over her shoulder for a server, thinking that a mimosa actually sounded pretty nice right now. Seeing none, she turned back to Carolina. "So Disney pays you to promote Disney World on Instagram?"

"Disney doesn't pay Disfluencers," Carolina said. "I get paid through sponsorships and ad spots, sometimes with people who sell officially licensed Disney merch. Mostly I partner with clothing retailers who aren't associated with Disney but are great for bounding." At the blank expression on Gray's face, Carolina sighed and explained. "Disneybounding. When you dress up in stylish, modern outfits inspired by Disney characters. I'm bounding as Vanellope von Schweetz right now." She gestured at her teal hoodie and the pink bandana tied around her ponytail.

"Penelope who?"

Carolina rolled her eyes. "From Wreck-It Ralph. What, do you live under a rock?"

"I don't think so? Been a while since I checked in with the mouse, I guess," Gray said, grinning in a way that was usually dashing enough to distract people from her occasional awkwardness. But Carolina's expression remained as cold as a performance of Disney on Ice. Although she was struggling with the subject area, Gray tried to continue the conversation on something Carolina clearly cared about immensely. "Do you ever Disneybound as any Marvel characters? Like She-Hulk or Captain Marvel or something?"

"Definitely not," Carolina said, immediately shutting down Gray's only chance at understanding what she was into. "They're not really Disney properties. I mean, technically, yes, but in the spirit of Disney fandom? No."

Gray sank a little in her seat and returned to their previous topic. "I haven't been to Disney World since I was six. What's there to do for…you know, adults?"

Clearly she'd said the wrong thing, because Carolina looked at Gray as if she'd magically sprouted a third eyeball. "Everything! Rides, food, shopping, entertainment, all the stuff you loved as a kid. It's all there waiting for you to rediscover your childhood joy. It's magic, pure and simple."

Gray couldn't help but chuckle. "I don't think most people would describe the massive Disney machine as ‘pure and simple.'?"

Carolina scoffed, then lifted her phone from the table and started typing furiously. Finally, a server interrupted to set down a large carafe of orange juice and sparkling wine. "Mimosas and"—the server placed an empty wineglass in front of Carolina and another in front of Gray—"glasses. I'll be back for your food orders in just a second."

"Actually, she won't be staying," said a voice from behind Gray's back. She turned to see the woman she'd first approached thinking she was Carolina, now storming up to the table.

"Thank god," said Carolina, seemingly unsurprised by the stranger's sudden appearance.

"But I'll be ready to order when you return," said Not Carolina to the server. "I'll be moving my things from that table to this one."

The server took the bizarre interruption in stride. They nodded and walked away while Gray was still struggling to process the words coming out of the woman's mouth. She looked back and forth between Carolina and the interloper.

"You should leave. If you don't respect Carolina's interests, then this date is over," said Not Carolina.

Gray looked at Carolina, who was pointedly ignoring eye contact while pouring a mimosa for herself. "What's going on, Carolina?"

"I'm her sister, Georgia. And I'm pulling the plug on this date." Georgia placed a hand on one hip and stared at Gray expectantly. "You can go."

"Carolina, do you know this woman?" Gray asked, starting to wonder if she was being pranked.

Carolina put down the carafe and looked up at Gray. "Yes, she's my sister. She comes on all my first dates."

Gray looked between the two women, now understanding why they looked so similar, but still not comprehending exactly what was going on. "Do you…do you want me to leave?"

Carolina had a smug look on her face as she considered Gray. "Yes. If you don't support me as a Disfluencer, and if Georgia isn't feeling it, then there's no sense in sticking it out. We're obviously not a match."

While Gray had started her dating challenge with some worst-case scenarios in mind, this certainly hadn't been one of them. But this moment didn't feel so much like a terrible outcome as dodging a bullet. Gray pushed back her chair and stood. "All right, then. This has been…absurd and bizarre." She nodded at Georgia and again at Carolina, her lips pursed. "Have a nice brunch and, uh, tell Goofy I said hello."

Without further ado, Georgia sat in Gray's still-warm seat, and Gray wandered off in search of brunch alone.