14. Chapter 14 - Lochinvar

We rode in her car and she pulled up in front of a large two-story house on a tree-lined street, verra close tae downtown. She explained twas an easy, safe journey, and she usually walked alone, even at night, but she drove if it were goin' tae rain.

I looked up at the house. "Tis a verra fine house, Mistress Ash."

"Oh yes, it is, but it's not mine. I rent an apartment on the top floor. Which reminds me..." She turned off the car and dropped her key into her bag. "We have to be very very quiet when we climb the stairs. My landlady is asleep and she's old as the hills and wakes up.... let's just say, irritated."

"I will be quiet as a mouse."

She flashed her bonny smile and said, "Good, follow me, mouse." We climbed from the car and she led me up tae the house and unlocked the door. We crept verra quietly up the stair, nae small feat as the boards creaked. I whispered, when a tread creaked under m'weight, "Tis somethin' a hammer and nail might fix."

She giggled.

I whispered, "Wheesht, we will wake the?—"

A feeble auld voice called up, "Is that you, Ashley?"

Ash froze on the step. "Yes, ma'am, coming home from work. Sorry I woke you."

"Are you alone? Don't be bringing strangers home."

"I have a friend who's come for a piece of pie, he's not a stranger. You can go back to bed, I'm sorry I woke you."

She began walking up again, and gestured for me to follow as the voice behind us said, "Try to keep it down, you sound like an elephant clomping up the steps."

I whispered, "Och nae, I tried tae be verra quiet."

She whispered, "Don't worry about it, she says that almost every night, there's no way you were going to be quiet enough you're twice my size — speaking of, low ceiling."

She tapped it, and I had tae duck at the top of the stairs where we came to a small door. She unlocked it and we entered.

Her apartment was in the attic, and down the middle of the room I was able to stand, but the ceilin' sloped down on both sides. There was a wee kitchen near the front door, a small table and chairs, an over-stuffed chair on the opposite side with a table and lamp beside it, and a bed under a small window at the far end.

She said, "You don't have to worry about sound up here, landlady sleeps on the bottom floor, thank heavens, it's only the stairs that wake her."

She pulled out a chair at the table so I could sit without needin' tae hunch. "I am sorry it's so small, it's... I love the location. It's probably much smaller than you're used to, your brother is a lord and all."

"I dinna ken him much of m'life and grew up an orphan, without much at all. So I am used tae livin' spaces where the chairs are near the bed, when I was lucky enough tae hae a bed tae sleep in." I sat down in the chair.

"An orphan! I'm so sorry."

"Tis fine, tis what made me who I am, and m'brother found me when it mattered, afore I got m'self in too much trouble."

"You don't seem like someone who gets in trouble. You seem... like not that type at all." She pulled out a dish and began slicing the pie. "Do you like ice cream with it? I have... Oh! I have cookies and cream."

I grinned. "M'favorite."

She scooped ice cream onto both slices. "Not the best flavor choice together, but we got what we got." She put a plate in front of me and one in front of her chair and then usin' a can sprayed foamy whipped cream on top of both. She passed me a fork and a spoon.

Then said, "Want a beer? You're not driving..." I nodded and she popped two cans and put them in front of of us, then sat down. She picked up her fork.

I said, "Dost ye mind if I say a prayer afore we eat?"

"Oh, um, sure..."

I folded my hands. "Bless this verra fine pie, made for me by m'new acquaintance the terrifically bonny Mistress Ash who has invited me intae her home tae share her bounty of peach in a flaky crust with cream whipped upon it and cookies crumbled within iced cream, thank ye for yer grace upon us, amen." I grinned.

She said, "Do you always pray before your meals?"

"Most meals, aye, I used tae hae tae work tae eat and so I am always grateful for a meal, but now I pray because somethin' delicious has been set in front of me. I canna allow it tae pass without mention. I had tae thank God for the meal, and of course ye for offerin' it."

She said, "You haven't even tasted it yet."

I scooped up a big bite, put it in, and chewed, moanin' with pleasure. "Tis yers? Ye made it, truly?"

"I did — did you know, Lochie, that back a hundred years ago a farmer's wife would make ten pies a week?"

I took another bite. "I always knew I ought tae go tae that time. Ten pies..." I chewed and swallowed. "Actually that is not so much... now I think on it if I were the farmer, a life of toil and hard work, especially a century or more ago, I could easily eat two pies a day. What would I eat on the rest of the days?"

She laughed and ate some of the peach pie. "So how long have you lived in Fernandina?"

"I canna say as I come and go... tis hard tae explain?—"

"You also live in Scotland?"

"Aye, but it haena been long since I was united with m'brother, and now I live with them."

"Why don't you drive?"

"I daena ken. I would like tae learn, but I live with a big family, we always hae guards and drivers, someone is always drivin' — I haena done it."

I chuckled at a thought, and she said, "What?"

I told her, "I am always stuck in the back with the bairns on long drives, but I canna complain, my nephews, Archie and Ben are great conversationalists and if ye daena sit near m'niece, Isla, ye will miss all the fun."

She laughed. "You really love your nieces and nephews."

"Aye, they are good people."

"I'm an only child and I'm alone a lot. My mom says I'm overly independent, but I like doing stuff for myself. I like to prove myself."

"I do as well, but I like tae prove m'self in front of m'family."

She chuckled. "I do think my version gets lonely sometimes. My only friend right now is Don, and he's just a work friend."

"This is what's good about a large family, all m'friends are m'relations." I finished my pie, ran my finger across the surface of the plate, and licked the last bit.

She laughed again. "Would you like more?"

"Tis possible? I daena want tae be a bother."

"You are not a bother. I don't see how you could possibly be." She took the two steps tae the counter tae slice me another piece of pie.

I said, "Och nae, Ash, I can be a huge bother, ye ken, I am rarely not botherin' my brothers, they hae tae find things tae keep me busy."

"Like what?"

"Magnus makes me muck the stables when I am a'botherin' him. Fraoch makes me fish, I tell ye, I hae had m'fill of fish. I ken I told ye I would take ye tae yer favorite restaurant, but I would like tae ask for it tae nae be fish, I greatly prefer a steak."

She laughed. "I like steak too."

"Ye hae a beautiful laugh, Mistress Ash."

She said, "Do I? I sometimes think people don't think I'm serious. When I enlisted everyone thought I was too cute to do anything. I had to work my butt off to prove I was more than cute and..."

"Ye hae a laugh that sounds like when tis a summer day and the waves are lappin' against the planks of the dock on the lake in Maine and the bairns are runnin' along on the lawn behind me, squealin' in joy."

"Bairns are children?"

"Aye."

"Are you saying I sound like the squealing bairns?"

"Nae, ye sound like the summer day, yer laugh sounds like the feelin' I get when there is warm sun on m'face and all is well in the family."

She sank down in the chair across from me and put the new piece of pie in front of me. "I don't know, Lochie, if anyone has ever said something so beautiful to me."

I grinned. "If me comparing yer laugh, Mistress Ash, as bonny as ye are, tae a summer day, is the first good compliment ye hae been given, then ye are surroundin' yerself with the wrong sort of people."

She laughed again and said, "You can say that again, you met my ex, you've seen my wrong sort of people."

I shoveled in a big bite of pie. "Och aye, he was an arse. He canna be yer choice of people."

"He's not, he just sort of happened, you know? Then I had to figure out how to make it not happen."

"Aye, I ken, we used tae hae many such stories back at the, um..." I had almost said ‘castle' and now I couldna think of what tae say instead so after an uncomfortable pause I finished, "When I was growin' up, when young men and women are choosin' each other, tis a time that is fraught."

She raised her beer. "To a time that is fraught, and old, dumb exes and new friends."

I clinked m'can tae her's and said, "Slàinte!"

"What does that mean?"

"Tae good health!"

"Slàinte!" We clinked our cans again.

I finished eating my pie and pushed the plate away.

I drank some more beer, then asked, "What is your favorite thing tae do besides bakin' delicious pies?"

"Well, let's see, I love to go to the beach with a chair and a book and dig my feet down into the sand and sit and read." She gestured toward the wall down near her bed, twas lined with books. "Those are just some of my favorites. I have stacks of books in boxes at my parents' house, some in storage, I just can't fit them all."

"That is a great deal of books. What is the subject of them?"

"I read fantasy and dystopian, fairies, princes, the occasional dragon."

"Aye," I said, though I dinna really ken. "Tis like fairytales? For the bairns?"

"Kind of, but a lot darker, some romance, you've never heard of Divergent? You've for sure heard of Twilight, right?"

I shook my head.

She said, "Scotland seems like a distant world… so what do you like to do? You're done with fish, you like your nieces and nephews, what else is your favorite thing?"

"I daena ken…"

"If you get to relax, what do you do?"

"I play on the PlayStation with the nephews."

She laughed. "Well, that is familiar."

I said, "Earlier ye called me yer ‘new friend', we are friends?"

"Yes, definitely, though we just met — I can't really explain it, but I like you, you make me feel safe."

"Tis good, I like ye as well, Mistress Ash."

"And the fact that you call me Mistress Ash, that's awesome. Should I call you something fancy?"

I joked, "Ye could call me ‘Lord Lochinvar.'"

"That sounds medieval, I might have to stick with Lochie. I like that it sounds like lucky."

"I am very lucky because?—"

"Because you get to spend time with me, I know, you also have a smooooooth tongue."

"What does this mean?"

"You are complimentary, some might say to ‘get your way'."

"Or some might say I am romantic."

She said, "Some might say that men are romantic to get their way as well. So I wonder, Lochie, are you trying to get your way with me?"

I grinned, "I am uncertain what ‘gettin' my way' would be, dost ye mean am I tryin' tae win ye? Did I see ye were a bonny lass with a dimpled smile and a lovely laugh and I thought tae m'self I would like her tae be mine? Aye, tis what I thought."

"Oh my, Lochie, you want to win me? That is very old fashioned."

"I am verra auld fashioned, tis true, but daena doubt for a moment that modern men feel the same, and now I hae met ye, and spoken tae ye, and tasted the pie ye baked for me?—"

"Oh, I baked it for you?"

"Aye, peach pie is now m'favorite. Ye knew my mind before I did."

She laughed.

"And there is yer laugh again, bonny Mistress Ash, ye sound like sunshine and I never want it tae rain."

She looked at me shaking her head. "But I barely know you. Tell me something else about yourself."

I relaxed, and leaned back in my chair. "Ye already ken all about me, I like tae hang out with my nieces and nephews, not all are related by blood, ye ken, but they all call me Uncle Lochie, and I like tae play, I like tae eat dessert?—"

"You have such a light, easy personality, I feel safe around you. It's hard to jibe that with the fact that you were an orphan and had such a hard upbringing."

"Twas difficult."

"Was it an orphanage situation or like foster homes?"

Once more, without sayin' castle, I wasna sure how tae answer — I shifted in my seat, and tried tae be vague about the details. "I lived in a big place, with lots of people."

"Were people mean to you?"

"Aye, but…I daena think we ought tae talk about it." I meant because twas certain tae catch me up in an unusual story, but she took it another way.

"Oh I'm sorry." She pouted, as if she were feeling sorry for me.

It bothered me tae hae her feel sorry for me. I wasna pitiful, but I couldna tell her of m'real life, twas verra confusing. "Twas not all awful, I made the best of it, and I gained a good reputation for… I was good at competitions. I like tae win and I was verra good."

I drank the rest of my beer, feelin' pleased with my answer.

"Cool, what kind of competitions? Like track? Or I've seen those Highland Games on the Discovery Channel — do you mean like that?"

I dinna ken what the Highland Games on the Discovery Channel meant, but I guessed the fights in the castle were similar, I said, "Och aye, tis just like the highland discover channel games." I ran m'hand through m'hair. I was growin' confused by her questioning and needin' tae keep m'answers vague.

She said, "Want another beer?"

"Aye, twould be good."

She stepped to the refrigerator. "What was your favorite event? I seem to remember that they throw rocks and tree trunks, did you do that?"

She was speaking on the caber toss, we would do that in the courtyard and out in the fields, also we would fight and battle with lances and swords. I assumed if she had seen the caber toss she had seen all of it, even the horrible bloody violent parts, so I smiled and got comfortable. "Och aye, I was good at the caber toss. And when I was young I liked tae spar in combat, I like tae compete and see if I can best a man, and I really like tae win."

"Spar… like fight, you… how do you mean, like martial arts, hand to hand — like MMA?"

I had seen Mixed Martial Arts on the television before, so though twas far removed from what I meant, I nodded. "Aye, much like MMA."

Her eyes narrowed, she chuckled, shaking her head. "So what you're saying is I thought you were safe and chill and you're actually kind of violent?"

"Nae, not exactly?—"

"But you like to fight, MMA style, and you like to win, you must have a lot of violence running through you, right? Do you ever draw blood?"

I ran my hand through m'hair tryin' tae think of what tae say.

"Do you ever fight with weapons?"

"Ye mean duel? Aye, I duel some?—"

She scoffed, "With weapons, like guns?"

I found m'self leaned forward, my hands clasped between my knees. I said, "Swords."

"Swords? Wow, that's wild, swords!" Her face was scrunched up, thinking it all through. "So I thought you were somehow the one in danger with Buck, but you're the dangerous one?"

"Aye, I ken how tae fight."

"Yet you didn't fight him."

I took a deep breath. "Because a man who kens how tae fight tae the death, ought tae do his best not tae. Tae fight is tae lose control, tis dangerous, and I dinna want tae frighten ye."

"Oh, to the death, huh?" She crossed her arms, chewing her lip. "I'm a soldier you wouldn't frighten me," but she did look frightened.

She added, "Except that you're in my house."

"I dinna mean... nae harm would come tae ye."

"So you duel with weapons and have drawn blood? You said, ‘to the death,' have you killed someone?"

I gulped.

"More than one?" Her eyes went wide.

My brow drew down.

"Lochie, you've killed people, you fight to the death…? Have you been in jail?"

"Nae, I..."

"I've been in the military, and I've never killed anyone — am I in danger?"

"Nae, of course not, ye are not in danger. I would never cause ye harm." I scowled, "Och nae, the conversation has gone verra far past…"

"Past what, letting me know that you're dangerous?" I saw her fingers near her phone, she looked tae be itchin' tae use it.

I leaned forward with m'elbows on my knees. "Och nae, Mistress Ash, tis not like that, I hae only fought when m'brother Magnus needed me tae protect him."

"Magnus, the big guy — he needs you to fight? Why on earth would your brother need to fight? He's a grown man with kids!"

I shifted in my seat, "He is not so much bigger, only by an inch, but… can we speak on somethin' else?"

Her brow was drawn down. "I don't know what else there is to talk about, and it's late and?—"

"I dinna mean tae frighten ye?—"

"I'm not frightened, I just need to go to sleep."

I nodded. "I hae kept ye up long past a regular hour, m'apologies, Mistress Ash — might I ask ye tae join me on the dinner we spoke of…?"

She stood. "I'm really tired. Maybe you could call me and we can plan it then."

I stood up and knocked m'head against the ceiling. She said, "Oh! Are you okay?"

I was seein' stars. "Och nae... aye, I am fine…" I rubbed my head. "I daena fit."

"How are you going to get home?"

I rubbed the sore spot, stepping toward the door. "I will call m'brother or walk."

"It's raining out, you can wait on the porch, until?—"

"Nae, tis fine, I will call ye." I opened the door and began walkin' down the steps, whackin' m'head against the ceilin' with a loud thud.

She whispered, "Oh no, are you okay, Lochie? That sounded?—"

"Aye, I am fine."

I went down the top flight and by the time I got half down the second the landlady's voice came from the back room. "Is that you, Ash? You're carrying on, like to wake the dead! How am I supposed to sleep with your wild ways at all hours?"

Ash's voice called down, "I'm sorry, my guest is leaving?—"

The landlady grumbled, "You keep hooker's hours."

I opened the front door and stumbled outside, standing on the porch, taking deep breaths.

I had somehow won the bonny lass and then with m'talk of fightin' had lost her in the same night.