15. Ivy

15

IVY

I didn’t realize until far too late who I had in front of me all these years.

I hadn’t gotten a wink of sleep last night. I’d spent the entire night tossing and turning, replaying in my mind the conversation I’d had with Marco earlier in the evening.

He thought he wasted enough time.

The last few weeks had been the best of his life.

And he wanted to take me on a date.

A real date.

It was how he wanted to spend his birthday. I felt like I was dreaming, like my mind was playing tricks on me, and I was going to wake up at any moment.

I couldn’t believe this was actually happening.

After more than a week filled with questions and worries about everything I’d blurted to Marco and how he felt about it, I’d finally gotten some confirmation that there wasn’t anything to be concerned about.

He wasn’t repulsed by it. He didn’t think I was weird or crazy.

Nope.

Marco wanted to take me out.

It was going to be my first date in years. I could hardly wait. I tried to contain my excitement and failed miserably. But that might have been because I finally told myself I didn’t need to contain it.

Why shouldn’t I be happy about this?

While I’d known Marco for years, it was only over the last couple of weeks that something changed for us. I enjoyed being around him. I liked the way he made me feel. And if I was honest, I couldn’t wait to have the time to talk to him tonight about all of it.

Despite having experienced a restless night last night, I didn’t feel an ounce of exhaustion. I wasn’t the least bit tired. In fact, it was quite the opposite.

When I rolled out of bed this morning, I took care of a few household chores before I did something I hadn’t done in weeks. I left my house to go somewhere that wasn’t work, and I’d done it on my own.

I avoided downtown, though. But even doing that, I still felt uneasy being out on my own. It didn’t seem to matter that the sun was out.

Looking on the bright side was the only thing I could bring myself to do. I took a step back and realized what this was. If it hadn’t been for the fact I wanted to get Marco something special for his birthday, I wouldn’t have left the confines of my house.

I tried not to think too much about it, neither before nor after I’d accomplished that task. Maybe I should have considered it, reflected on how much strength it had taken for me to do it. The only thought I’d had about it was what Marco would say about it if he knew.

Once I’d gotten what I’d gone out for, I immediately returned home. And two hours before Marco was set to arrive to pick me up, I started getting myself ready for our date. I didn’t want to rush myself. I wanted to take my time and relish the experience. After so many years, it was nice to be able to do this again, especially with someone I already felt comfortable with.

As I showered, shaved, fixed my hair, did my makeup, and got myself dressed, I continued to be consumed by thoughts of Marco. I recalled everything from last night’s encounter. I remembered him coming over for dinner and kissing the tip of my finger at the woodcarving class. My mind even happily wandered to the night in the hotel, reliving those sweet and tender moments with him.

For the first time in a very long time, being lost inside my own head was a good place to be. I didn’t feel sad or lonely or defeated. I was happy, encouraged. I was excited about whatever was in store for me tonight. And I couldn’t stop myself from wondering if Marco was feeling any of the same excitement as me.

When the knock came at my door three minutes before the time he’d told me he’d be there, I took that to mean Marco was just as enthusiastic about tonight as I was, that he was just as eager to see me.

With a smile on my face and a pounding heart, I gave myself one final look in the mirror before heading to the door.

If everything that had been running through my mind all day had been moments with Marco I’d committed to memory because they left me feeling so good about how he felt about me, what happened when I opened the door to him was something I’d never forget.

I hadn’t managed to even greet him, to say a single word, when he reacted. Marco reached a hand up behind his neck and squeezed as he hissed, “Fuck me.”

I stood frozen there, wide-eyed and uncertain. In all the thoughts that flitted through my mind during the course of the day, I hadn’t once considered what would happen when he arrived to pick me up.

“Is… are you?—”

“You look beautiful, Ivy,” he said, cutting me off. Warmth spread through my body, and I watched as Marco looked away for mere seconds before he gave himself permission to take me in completely. His intense gaze started at my feet and darkened as it drifted up my legs and over my hips. By the time he’d made it to my breasts, I could have sworn I saw the change in his breathing. And when his focus shifted to my face, his eyes meeting mine, he croaked, “You’re gorgeous.”

Under the intense scrutiny of that hungry gaze, a flush crept over my skin. Marco was like a man starved; I would have given anything to know what was happening inside his head.

My eyes took him in—every tall, powerful, and breathtaking inch of him—and my lips curved into a smile. “You’re quite stunning yourself.”

Although he hadn’t hesitated to share precisely what he thought of seeing me like this, I couldn’t miss the way one of Marco’s hands balled into a fist at his sides, like he was doing everything he could to restrain himself. His other hand was holding a bouquet.

I inclined my head toward them. “Are those for me?”

He held the flowers out to me. “I wish I’d gotten you some sooner than this.”

There was a slight edge of disappointment in his tone, like he was recognizing some major mistake he’d made. Like he was regretting dozens of choices he’d made over the years.

I took the flowers from him, held them up to my nose, and inhaled. The rich floral fragrance was something I wouldn’t soon forget. “I’m all set to go, but will you come inside while I put these in some water?”

Marco didn’t hesitate to step forward and close the door behind him. As I turned and moved away from the entrance, I could have sworn I heard him groan. I kept myself moving forward, concealing the victorious smile that spread across my face. No doubt Marco was appreciating the view from behind.

We were barely two minutes into this, and it already felt so good. If things continued like this throughout the evening, I had high hopes for where the night would lead.

For the next few minutes, I went about getting the flowers put into a vase, and as soon as I slid the last stem in, I stepped back to appreciate the sight of them. “They’re beautiful, Marco. Thank you.”

Something washed over his expression, something that looked a lot like determination. “You’re welcome, Ivy.”

Although his voice had returned to normal, I could still see the tension in his frame. He was waging a war inside his mind, and I had a feeling I knew why. Wanting to ease that tension a bit for him, I stepped close, lifted my arms over his shoulders, and hugged him. “Happy birthday.”

The speed with which his arms closed around me gave me a clue I hadn’t misjudged the situation, and the strength and length of his hold solidified I’d made the right decision. Marco had been doing his best to keep himself restrained, to not go for more than he believed I was prepared for.

While I could appreciate his desire to remain a gentleman, I was tempted to tell him it was unnecessary. Everything about this night was already better than I could have hoped for, and I wouldn’t have been the least bit upset or disappointed if he’d taken steps to show me just how interested he was in me.

I loosened my arms around his neck, my hands shifting to his muscled shoulders. As soon as his eyes locked on mine, he shared, “This is easily the best birthday of my life.”

My heart squeezed. “So, you had an enjoyable morning and afternoon, then?”

He instantly recognized my teasing tone. His head moved from one side to the other, his lips twitching. “The best part of this day has been you.”

Goosebumps slid along the back of my neck. Where had this version of Marco been all my life? “But you’ve only just seen me for a handful of minutes. Five, tops.”

“And if I died now, I’d be doing it a happy man.”

My fingertips bit into Marco’s shoulders as I gasped. “Well, I wouldn’t be happy at all. Don’t talk about dying!”

Laughter spilled out of him, the last bits of tension easing out of his frame. “Okay. I’m sorry. I’ll be sure to hold off on that until after I’ve taken you out on your first date in years.”

I didn’t care at all that Marco was mentioning the lengthy drought in my dating life. From where I stood, it only made this that much more special. “Let’s hold off on that for many, many years after this date. Like, at least a hundred.”

He chuckled. “So, you think I’m living to be a hundred and thirty years old.”

I lifted my hands, palms up, at my sides and shrugged. “It’s good to have goals.”

“Fair enough. I’ll do my best. I’m just glad you want me around for that long.”

Recently, I’d found it difficult to think about what my future held beyond it being miserable and lonely. But over the last few weeks, I’d felt a bit revived. And having that conversation with Marco while I danced in his arms shifted something inside me.

I was thinking about things I hadn’t ever thought about, things I wanted to experience with Marco. If I was lucky, maybe I’d get a taste of one or two of those things tonight. And if all went well, I had to imagine I’d only want more with him as time went on. “Are you saying you wouldn’t want me to be around at least that long?”

“Not a chance.”

I grinned at him. “Let me grab my coat, so you can make this date happen for the both of us.”

His arms loosened around my waist, his hands drifting to my hips. He gave me a squeeze there—a squeeze that sent a shiver down my spine—before he released me, so I could grab my coat.

Before I knew it, we’d arrived at Savor, easily the nicest restaurant in Landing. The drive to Savor had been comfortable. In between bits of conversation about last night’s party, I’d spent most of the drive trying to come to grips with the fact that Marco was taking me on my first date in years.

I hadn’t quite gotten a grasp on that by the time we’d placed our dinner orders, and I must have been wearing it on my face.

“Why do I get the distinct feeling you’re here, but your mind is somewhere else?”

The last thing I wanted was for Marco to think I wasn’t entirely committed to our date. It meant everything to me to be here with him. “My mind is here. It’s on you… us, I guess. I just… well, I guess I’m still trying to wrap my head around all of this.”

“What specifically?”

I shrugged slightly, tipping my head to one side. “I don’t know about you, but I barely slept at all last night.”

“I slept okay. Did you have nightmares?”

“No. No, not at all. I couldn’t sleep, because I couldn’t stop thinking about having this with you tonight,” I explained.

“Well, I’m glad to know that didn’t cause you nightmares,” he teased. When I smiled at him, he asked, “What about tonight had you unable to sleep, though?”

I shook my head. “Tonight wasn’t all of it, I guess. I think it’s just the whole thing, everything that’s sort of happened over the last couple of weeks and what you said to me last night. I never expected any of this between us, not after all these years.”

He nodded his understanding. “That makes two of us. And while I didn’t have difficulty sleeping last night, I won’t lie and say I haven’t experienced some of what you have.”

“In what way?”

A contemplative look washed over him, like he wasn’t quite sure if he should reveal the truth. Fortunately, he didn’t hold back and admitted, “I’ve found it difficult to think about anyone or anything ever since that night in the hotel with you. And it’s come as quite the shock to me.”

My brows shot up. “What do you mean by that?”

“I’ve known you for years, Ivy. Why am I just now noticing you like this?”

I could have beat around the bush and fished for him to share more explanations that would lead me to feeling confident about where Marco stood, but it was unnecessary. I already understood where he was coming from.

“I don’t think you should feel bad about it.” I sent a reassuring smile his way. “I’m just now noticing you like this as well.”

He reached his hand out and covered mine with it. “Are you worried?”

“About us doing something here that could go south and ruin everything?” I countered.

Marco winced, his chin dipping slightly.

“I hadn’t really thought about it. I think I’ve been too caught up in the fact that we’re actually here, that you’ve asked to bring me out for dinner tonight. Why? Are you worried?”

He swallowed hard, the look in his eyes cautious, tentative. “I can’t see the future, Ivy. Looking at this now, at the way I feel when I’m around you, I don’t see how it’d be possible for things to ever turn sour between us. But I would be lying if I said there isn’t something that concerns me.”

Okay. So, I hadn’t been expecting that. “What worries you?”

“Cooper.”

My brows knit together, and I jerked back in my seat. “Why?”

Marco hesitated. “I’m not sure I should say.”

“Why not?”

“Because even if in all the years I’ve known you, I haven’t noticed you in the way I do now, it doesn’t mean I don’t know anything about you. I know what kind of woman you are, Ivy. And I’m worried that if I share my concerns with you, you’ll?—”

“What did Cooper say to you? I thought he apologized.”

His hand squeezed mine. “He did. I promise you that. But I didn’t get the feeling he’d ever be okay with you and I becoming something more than we’ve always been.”

That made no sense.

If there was anyone in this world that Cooper should have wanted to see me wind up with, Marco would have been the best choice. We knew him; we knew his family. If it was up to Cooper, I would have thought he’d think his best friend was the only option for me.

“Did he say that?”

“He didn’t come right out with those words, no. But it was clear I didn’t get that blessing from him, either.”

I sat back in my seat, attempting to digest all of this. “So, are you concerned more about feeling something between us and not being able to act on it, or are you worried that you won’t stop yourself from acting upon the way you feel and things getting sticky with Cooper?”

“It’s definitely the second one,” he confirmed.

A rush of air left my lungs with relief. At least he was willing to pursue this with me, to explore it. I’d have been devastated if he had brought me out here for dinner only because he felt bad after what I’d said the other day and wanted to be a good guy.

“So, this is the real deal for you, then?”

His lips twitched. “This is the real deal. I really like you a lot, Ivy.”

How I contained my excitement at hearing that, I didn’t know. There was still some worry lingering there. “I really like you, too. I don’t want us to have issues with my brother.”

Marco’s fingers stroked over the skin on my hand. “Let’s not get ahead of ourselves. This is just our first official date. I think it’s okay for us to see where things are headed between us before we get all worked up. Who knows? You might decide after tonight that you don’t want to explore this further with me.”

It was a wonder my eyes didn’t fall out of my head. “You’re joking, right? There’s not a chance of that happening.”

He laughed, but before he could respond, our server showed up with our appetizer and salads.

After she walked off, Marco held my stare for a few beats before he said, “Just so you know, there’s not a chance of that happening on my end, either.”

I beamed at him.

I might have waited years for this date, but it was easily the best of my life. And I had a feeling that long wait was going to be worth it.