Chapter Eight Heimdall

W ell, grabbing a fistful of dick while I was trying to sit next to Loki was not how I'd intended things to go. For a moment I wondered why he was hard to begin with. But then as I found my place beside him, I quickly realized that I was also hard. And that seemed like a more pressing concern.

Why did this man excite me? I couldn't figure it out. However, the more I sat next to him, my body touching his, the more I realized I liked being close to him. Not to mention his scent was nearly overwhelming. He smelled like fresh rain soaking into the forest floor. It was earthy and pleasant, but comfortable. It reminded me of all those long walks I'd taken through the woods by myself, nothing to keep me company but trees and my own thoughts. I cherished those times. They were some of the few where I felt like myself and not a pawn in my father's game.

I wanted to help my father. That much was true. But sometimes, I just needed to get away and think about something other than taking care of the pack. I would've done anything for my father without question. However, there were moments when I caught myself wishing that I could have my own life and make my own decisions. And that's what Loki's scent reminded me of. Needless to say, it was addicting.

But that didn't quite explain why I had a raging boner. The way my skin felt when it touched him and the way his scent seemed to envelop me did something that was all together new. Sure, I'd been attracted to people before. I knew what being turned on felt like. But usually there was a reason, one I could pick out easily. But with Loki, I wasn't sure what was causing it. Up until that moment I'd never been attracted to a man before, so I wasn't really sure what to blame it on. Was it the fact that he was smaller than me? Or maybe it was how muscular he was? I had never been attracted to such a thing before but that didn't mean I couldn't be now. People could change right?

The entire left side of my body was buzzing where it pressed against him, like I was touching a live fence wire but more pleasant. I felt the urge to reach out and touch him. To wrap my fingers around the back of his neck and pull him close to me. I think I even wanted to kiss him… and that was completely new for me.

How would he respond to such a thing? And why was I even considering it in the first place? If my father ever found out, I'd be kicked out of the pack forever. But I couldn't help this feeling like I was missing something by denying myself this urge. The idea of letting this moment pass me by and never taking that chance made my stomach twist into a tight knot. Why did I want this so badly? Had I changed so much? Or had I just hit my head so hard that it changed my sexuality?

All those questions were racing through my mind but there was one thing that was louder than all the rest. It was a single word repeated over and over again.

Mate.

I wasn't sure if that scared me more or less. It offered an explanation to my feelings, strangers they were. But it also posed a new problem. My father and my pack would never accept Loki as my mate. And Loki wanted to kill my father more than anything else. He wanted to kill him so badly that he had abandoned his own pack and family completely in order to pursue his vengeance. Nothing was going to stop him. And I'd been ordered to take him out.

Suddenly I was faced with a new question. Would I choose my family? Or would I choose this man that I didn't know and had nothing in common with, but was possibly my fated mate? Should I give up an entire lifetime of building towards some great future that my father had envisioned? Or give it all up to take a chance that may turn out to be nothing?

The thought occurred to me that maybe the cave was the answer. Down here no one could see us or what we did. We were safe here, or at least I was, to explore this new feeling of mine. And no matter how much I tried to talk myself out of it, I knew that I wanted to explore it. Even if it terrified me.

Would Loki allow it?

Wait, wait, wait ! I shook my head vigorously, driving the thoughts from my head. What the hell was I thinking? I wasn't going to do shit with Loki. He was the enemy. He wanted to kill my father, the man that had raised me and the Alpha of my pack. It was my duty to protect him and the moment we were free of this cave, that's exactly what I'd do.

Besides, Loki's brother Baldr had magic. Who was to say that Loki didn't have his own? He was probably making me feel all these weird, unexplainable things. That was the only possible explanation. I didn't fall down a hole and turn gay. Loki was casting some sort of spell on me. He had to be. Up until last night, I'd never questioned my father or my life. But now that's all I could do. He probably made my father forget about me too and walk away. Or maybe he cast an illusion over us to make us look dead so my father would move on. Then he tricked me into going into this cave because he wanted to get me out of the way.

I shifted to the side, pulling myself away from Loki so that we were no longer touching. I wasn't sure how he was casting his magic over me, but I wouldn't fall for it any longer. Whatever he might suggest from now on, I wasn't going to go for it. He was trying to lead me astray, I just knew it. Nothing Loki said could be trusted.

Mate? Fuck that.

"We should move on," I finally said, my voice gruff. "I don't want to be stuck down here forever."

Loki sighed but started to move. "Alright."

He pulled out his phone, lighting the room once more. It took several seconds for my eyes to adjust to that tiny light. It had been such a pitch darkness before that the phone light nearly blinded me. But once we were both on our feet, we turned to face the fork in the tunnel together.

"Which way?" I asked, crossing my arms over my chest.

Loki took a step forward, still bracing himself against the wall to keep weight off his hurt leg. He stood there for a long moment, breathing deeply as he looked between the two paths. To me there was an obvious choice, but I was curious what he would do to lead me further astray.

"Let's go left," he said at last, pointing to the tunnel that dove deeper into the earth. "The air smells fresher there."

"Doesn't smell any different to me."

He tapped the side of his nose with a smirk. "When in doubt, follow your nose, Master Baggins."

I furrowed my brows. What the fuck was he talking about?

"Come on," he grinned. "Lord of the Rings? When they're in Moria?"

I just stared.

"Christ. You've never seen the Lord of the Rings?!"

"I don't know what that is."

Loki shook his head. "Fucking hell. I knew your father kept you all stupid, but I didn't know he also deprived you of good movies."

"Stop talking badly about my father!" I snapped.

The smirk was gone in an instant, replaced with a scowl. "Fine. Follow me."

I didn't budge. "I'm not going that way."

"And why's that?" he sighed. "Let me guess. Your father thinks left turns are sinful or something?"

I pressed my lips into a thin line, my agitation clear as I puffed out my chest. "No."

"Then what is it?"

"We shouldn't be going down. That'll only take us deeper into the mountain."

"Well, that direction is still and the air is stale," he said, jabbing a finger down the right-hand path. "But here the air is still moving and smells like green things. I trust nature more than I do your intuition."

"You're just trying to lead me into a trap."

"Uh. Hate to break it to you dumbass, but we're already in a trap!"

"Well, I'm going right."

"Good riddance then. I have the light and I'm going left."

"Fine. I don't need your light, anyway. Real Alpha's can find their way out of anything."

"See ya later then, Mr. Real Alpha ."

I just scoffed, turning away from him as I thundered past him and down the right-hand path. Just as I suspected, Loki was trying to lead my astray. He wanted to get me lost in this mountain forever so he could wear me down, kill me, then escape with his life intact. Then he'd kill my father, my pack, and everyone I'd ever known. I wasn't gonna fall for that shit. I was going to leave him behind permanently. I'd rather wander around in the dark than be put under a spell by some half-breed, anyway.

The right path grew dark quickly as I walked away. In less than ten feet, I could no longer see the rocky floor. The walls still held some light, and I put my right hand out to trail over the rough surface. I'd make it out with no problem, proving to my father at last that I was fit to lead the pack thanks to my impressive instincts. Instead of my downfall, this cave would be my salvation, my chance to prove I could lead the Skoll pack into the future all werewolves deserved. I set my jaw and walked confidently into the darkness.

Everything was going just fine until I took another step, and my foot never connected with stone again. Instead, I found myself suddenly falling into the darkness as it swallowed me whole. My hands flew out in both directions, looking for something to find purchase on. My right hand that had been on the wall already, caught a small ledge as I fell. Muscles and tendons tore as I dug in, my full body weight suspended by three fingers as I slammed against the wall.

My voice echoed through the cavern, a cry leaving my lips without my having noticed it. Blood pounded in my ears as I desperately searched for something to grab with my left hand. But all my fingers found was smooth stone and open darkness. And what's more, my right hand was quickly losing its grip.

Above me, light flashed back and forth until it turned over the edge of the hole, glaring down at me like the noonday sun. I blinked a few times, tears running down my cheeks because I was convinced I wouldn't survive the next few seconds. The phone shifted, moving back behind the lip of the hole and I thought Loki had left me. A heartbeat later I felt a hand clasp around my own, fingers digging into my skin.

It was Loki.