24. Chapter 24

Chapter 24

Ruin MacAllister

I slowly open my eyes, and my eyelids feel heavy, as if I haven’t opened them in a while. I blink once, twice. When my vision comes to focus, I notice my left foot is in a cast, and it’s immobilized in a sling. My left arm is in a cast, too. What the hell happened?

I try to speak but nothing comes out when I open my mouth. I clear my throat and try again—still nothing. I look around the room, and I’m alone—a feeling close to panic takes over me, and I shudder. Where’s my family?

I fist my hands, but I can only feel the right one and notice I have something in it. When I press it, a beeping sound invades the room. Taking a couple of deep breaths, I feel pain in my chest. Moisture blurs my vision. How did I end up here?

“She’s awake,” I hear a nurse say as she enters the room. “Hi, Miss MacAllister. How are you feeling?” the nurse asks, kind eyes looking at me.

I point to my neck and shake my head.

“Oh, it’s okay. Your throat must still be sore from the ventilation tube.”

My eyes widen in surprise. Tube? Why? I need her to tell me what happened.

“The doctor will be right in. He’ll tell you more.” She pats my hand and moves to the machines I’m connected to.

“Miss MacAllister, welcome back. I’m Dr. Davies.” The doctor greets me as he looks at his tablet.

“She seems unable to speak,” the nurse tells him. He pauses what he’s doing, places the tablet on the foot of my bed, and sanitizes his hands. Then, he pulls a penlight from his coat pocket.

“Can you open your mouth, Miss MacAllister?” I do as he asks, and he gets closer to me, looks inside my mouth, and then clicks his tongue. “Yes, your throat looks somewhat swollen. Let’s give her something for that.” He looks at the nurse, and she nods, leaving the room, I assume, to get the medication.

“Do you write with your right hand?” I nod. “Good, we’ll bring a whiteboard so we can communicate with you.” I smile at him. I need to know what happened.

A couple of minutes later, I hear a commotion outside. The moment my room door opens, a gaggle of people comes barreling inside.

“Oh, she’s awake. Thank the heavens,” Granny says as she raises her hands.

Next, I see Mama and Rain, their eyes puffy and red, like they’ve been crying for a while.

“Ruin, my little girl. Thank God you woke up,” Mama says before breaking into a sob. Rain hugs her and helps her sit down next to Granny. I try to speak, but it still hurts, and nothing comes out. I feel so frustrated right now.

The nurse comes in with a cart of food and water. Oh good, my stomach feels queasy, but I think water would be great. It might help my throat.

“Here’s the board. Let me know if you need help writing,” the nurse says, handing me a small whiteboard and a black marker. I smile at her and try to open the marker, but doing everything with just one hand is hard. Rain takes the marker from my hand and removes the top before handing it back to me.

I know my sister; she’s trying to be strong because Mama is already crying, but her face is tense, like she’s trying to contain her feelings. She holds the board for me so I can write. My handwriting isn’t pretty, but I hope she understands it.

“What happened?” Rain reads aloud from the whiteboard. She glances at Mama, and they exchange a silent conversation. I write again and tap the board with the marker, prompting Rain to read, “What’s going on?” Rain takes a deep breath and sits on my bed, grabbing my hand.

“You were in an accident. It was after Christmas. You went to Pine Shores, and on your way back, you lost control of your car.” I frown, unable to remember anything Rain is describing.

Why don’t I remember? There’s a knock on the door, and Dr. Davies enters.

“Hello, everyone, as you can see, Miss MacAllister is awake, but we still need to run some tests before you can visit her for longer,” he says in an assertive tone. Rain nods as Mama gets up and stands closer to me.

“How long are those tests going to take? And why isn’t she able to speak?” she asks as she cradles my face in her hands. I immediately start crying, a mix of relief and sorrow invading me. Something really bad must have happened for me to be this banged up.

“We’re not sure how long it’s going to take her to be able to speak again—this is a day-by-day case. You need to remember, she was in a coma for a while.”

My eyebrows shoot up, and I tap the whiteboard to get their attention.

Dr. Davies turns his gaze to me. “Miss MacAllister, you were involved in a car accident in late December. From what the firefighters and the police were able to deduce, you lost control of your car as you were descending the mountain. A tractor trailer was coming the opposite way, and it hit your car. You went tumbling down the mountain. As bad as the accident was, it was a miracle the firefighters were able to rescue you and bring you to the hospital.” My tears continue to fall, and Mama wipes them away, but it doesn’t matter.

How long has it been since the accident? I write next, and Rain shows the board to the doctor.

“Six weeks. It’s February now,” he answers.

Where are the boys? Daddy? I write next, and Rain frowns. She shows the board to everyone, and Mama goes pale. I frown, shaking my head. What’s going on?

“Miss MacAllister, do you know what year it is?” Dr. Davies asks calmly.

I erase what I’ve written with my hand and write, 2020.

“What’s going on?” Granny asks.

The doctor tells them he needs to speak with me privately and to please leave the room. They all kiss my forehead and leave, promising they’ll return as soon as the doctor allows them back in.

The nurse walks into the room as Dr. Davies pulls his tablet out.

“Miss MacAllister, I’m going to ask you a few questions, and you can write the answers down. Are you ready?”

I nod in agreement.

“Can you tell me your name?”

Ruin MacAllister .

“Very good. How old are you?”

I turned twenty in August.

“Where do you live?” Azalea Creek?

“Who do you live with?”

Mama and Daddy, Granny, River, Miles, Merlin, and my twin sister, Rain.

“What do you do for a living?”

I help around our orchard and in our diner. I also go to school.

“What do you study?”

Biology . “Where do you study?”

Highlands Community College.

“What’s the last thing you remember?”

I look around, trying to think, but nothing comes to mind—everything is foggy.

“It’s okay. Things can be blurry for some time after a head injury. As I mentioned earlier, it’s a miracle you survived the accident. We had to put you in an induced coma to help with the brain swelling. There’s nothing to worry about.” Dr. Davis gives me a curt smile. He says something to the nurse that I can’t quite hear, and when he leaves the room, the nurse moves closer to check my vitals.

“Would you like some water?” I nod, and she brings me a glass of water with a straw. She places the straw on my lips, and I take a tentative sip. The water going down my throat feels amazing; it’s like, little by little, my body is coming back to life. After a few more sips, the good nurse sets the glass back on the cart.

“Now that you are awake, we need to schedule some physical therapy. As you can see, you broke a few bones, but they’ve been healing nicely. We need to start working on your mobility, and once the casts come off, more therapy will be needed so you can start walking independently.”

My hand hurts from writing. I guess I’ll have to do physical therapy even for the hand that didn’t break.

“How much longer will I be here?” I try to use my voice. Even though it comes out low, the nurse smiles brightly at me when she hears me.

“That depends on how well you progress. But you don’t need to worry about that now.” She pats my hand as she makes her way to the door.

“Try to get some rest. I’ll come back in a little while to check on you.” I nod at her, feeling somewhat tired. I don’t think I’ve been awake for even an hour, but my head hurts. I need to take it slow, just like the nurse said.

The next morning, after Dr. Davies checks in, my entire family comes to see me. Granny and Mama are the first to enter the room. Granny brought my favorite blanket she sewed for me, and I smile at her.

“Thank you, Granny.” Her smile is big when she hears my voice.

“Oh, honey. You can speak now, how wonderful,” she says as she covers me with the blanket and gives me a kiss on the cheek.

“Good morning, sweetie,” Mama greets me next, and one by one, all my siblings hug me, or at least try to. It’s hard with these damn casts. They all gather around my bed, and I frown.

“Where’s Daddy?” It’s so unlike him not to come to see me.

“Ruin, there’s something we have to tell you,” River speaks. When I glance around, everyone has sad looks on their faces. “Yesterday, the doctor confirmed that you are suffering from amnesia.” I inhale a sharp breath because what on Earth did River just say?

“After speaking with Dr. Davies, we decided it was best if we gave you the news. It seems that you don’t have memories of the last four years of your life.” I grip Mama’s hand tight as I absorb River’s words. Four years?

“What aren’t you saying, River?” He looks at Mama, and she gives me the slightest nod.

“Daddy passed away four years ago, Ruin. A lot has happened since.”

I feel my body go limp as everything fades to black.

“Miss MacAllister, welcome back.” A doctor I’ve never seen before greets me as I open my eyes. It’s dark now, and my family is nowhere to be seen. Did I dream that they were here and gave me the worst news of my life? I look at the doctor with a blank expression.

“Do you remember the conversation you had with your family?” I nod at him.

“I’m going to get straight to the point. You’re suffering from retrograde amnesia. It’s a type of memory loss caused by a brain injury. In your case, the car accident you were involved in resulted in severe trauma, not only to your extremities but also in your brain.”

“Do I have any chance of recovering my memories?” I ask. I don’t want to miss four years of my life permanently.

“That’s a question that has no definite answer, Miss MacAllister. Unfortunately, it varies from person to person. The only thing we can focus on at the moment is your physical therapy, and we can provide therapy with a psychologist if you would like. My professional opinion is for you to focus on your body and rest. With time, your memories might come back to you.” The doctor gives me a tight smile and leaves the room.

The nice nurse I’ve seen a couple of times now is nowhere to be found. Maybe she’s only on the day shift.

Rain enters my room, and the smell of what she has in her hand immediately puts me in a better mood.

“Mama sent you your favorite food,” Rain says as she removes a Tupperware container from a paper bag.

“Hmmm, Carolina blackened trout with veggies and rice.” I love Mama. “I don’t care that we're going to leave this hospital smelling like fish, it’s so damn good.”

Rain chuckles at my eagerness to eat Mama’s food, but all I’ve had today is crackers and water, and I need real food now. The moment the first bite of flaky, warm, buttery, lemony fish hits my senses, I moan, and Rain barks out a full laugh. It’s good to hear my sister laugh after the day I’ve had. I’m sure these past six weeks have been hell for all of them, not knowing if I was going to wake up or not.

I make quick work of polishing off the food, and my sister stares at me in shock.

“What?” I ask her, grabbing water from the food table in front of me.

“Nothing, I just have never seen you eat like this.” Her voice wobbles, and her eyes fill with emotion. Rain is the strongest of the two of us. It’s definitely hard seeing her break like this. I place the glass back on the table and push it away from me, making room for Rain to sit down next to me.

“I hate seeing you like this, Raindrop,” I say, and she flashes me a sad smile.

“I’m just so fucking thankful you woke up, Ruin. I cannot imagine my life without you,” she says as tears start falling down her cheeks. I join her, silently crying, wishing I could remember everything that happened—that I hadn’t gotten in that damn accident. But this is the reality I must face now.

“What was I doing in Pines Shore?” I ask her as I wipe the tears from my face. Rain lies down next to me—it’s a tight fit, but we’re used to sharing our beds more often than not.

“The doctor said it’s not appropriate to fill you in about the last four years. He said that it might actually cause more stress because you can’t remember. He said it was best to let the memories come back with time,” Rain says in a low voice, and I whine in frustration.

“So what are you allowed to tell me? Is it true Daddy is gone?” She nods as she places her head on my right shoulder.

“Yeah, Daddy passed away four years ago. It was rough for all of us, but we’re doing better now.”

“How is it fair that I get to live that kind of sadness twice?” I ask out loud, even though I know no one has the answer to that. Rain covers my right hand with hers, silently letting me know that I’m not alone.

“What else can you tell me? Did I finish school?” I mean, I’m twenty-four now. If everything went according to plan, I graduated two years ago. Rain inhales a deep breath; whatever she’s going to say next is going to send me spinning—I can feel it.

“Actually, you took a break from school when Daddy passed away.”

“What? So what was I doing now? Did I go back to school?”

Another pause.

“Yeah, you transferred to another school,” Rain says. Is there more she can tell me? I need to know. “To my dream school?” My sister doesn’t say anything, doesn’t move. I’m not even sure if she’s breathing anymore. “Rain?”

“Yeah, you were in Raleigh.” A sharp, stabbing pain hits my chest, and Rain notices immediately. She gets up and studies me with worried eyes.

“Why, Rain, why? You know how much I wanted to go to Wolfe University. Why do I get to live my dream, and then it’s taken away from me?” I start crying again, and this time, I don’t want to stop—life is cruel and has decided I’m its victim.

“Ruin, please don’t cry. Maybe when you’re feeling better, you can go back to Raleigh. Maybe by the time you’re walking again, you’ll have your memories back, and you’ll be able to go for the fall semester,” Rain tells me as she rubs my hand between hers. Comforting me. I give her a smile as I try to take deep breaths.

“But right now, please let me brush your teeth. I don’t know if the entire hospital smells like trout, but your mouth sure does.”

I throw my head back in laughter. Even though every single bone and muscle in my body aches, it’s good to laugh this hard after everything I’ve been through—and everything that lies ahead.