26. Chapter Twenty-Five

Chapter Twenty-Five

Locke

" T ell us about mates, again," Amaryllis sat promptly up in her tiny cot.

We shared a bedroom, much to our father's dissatisfaction, but my mother knew how important it was for twins to stay close to one another as pups. Amaryllis and I were very close. We did everything together. From playing, to learning, sparing and even sharing the same room.

"Not tonight," our mother sighed, "I still have dishes to scrub."

Amaryllis pouted, her lip quivering. "Please. Father isn't here."

Our father had yet another alpha meeting and wasn't due back until late. Mother put us in bed early on the nights he was gone. It was to make up for lost sleep time; Father would force us to stay up late and quiz us on battle techniques and formations, or teach our bodies to run on less sleep.

Mother huffed, sat on my cot and rubbed both of our arms lovingly. It wasn't common for Mothers to show affection in the Blood Rose pack, especially out in the open. In the confines in our home, Mother let us know we were loved, when the watchful eye of our father wasn't near.

"Mates are gifts given to us by the Moon Goddess. They are the other half of your soul. They will make you feel complete in all ways and make you feel so loved and full." My mother smiled sadly and squeezed our hands. "You will find your mate when you are a full-grown wolf. Their smell will draw you in and once you look them in the eyes, there will be no one else in the entire world that will matter. It will just be you and your other half. It is all-consuming, all-powerful. They will make your heart flutter, your soul sing, and your spirit soar. Finding your mate is the most precious gift a wolf can receive, and you must cherish and protect that bond above all else. Your mate will be your rock, your confidant, your partner in every sense of the word. And when you find them, you will know in your heart that they are meant for you, destined to walk by your side for eternity."

Amaryllis' smile widened. Her toothy grin aiming at me. "Can't you wait, Koen? To find your mate?"

I shrugged my shoulders. My face heated.

"Stop embarrassing your brother." My mother swatted my sister. "Boys do not wish for those sorts of things so young."

Amaryllis threw her head back and laughed. "What about you, Mother? What was it like meeting Father?" My sister's voice grew solemn when she spoke.

Our father was neither a patient nor a kind man. We never spoke ill of him in front of him or anyone else. We were to respect him being the alpha of our pack, but it wasn't respect I had for him. It was fear.

To go against the alpha was treason. According to the by-laws, the alpha has the authority to tear a child to pieces in front of their parents, if they speak badly about their leaders.

Mother rolled her lips, her heart raced.

As I reached out and held my mother's arm, her body stilled as she rested against me. I could feel her heartbeat slow against my fingertips. "What's wrong? You don't want to answer?"

My intuition was stronger than my sister's. I was the second born. My sister was strong and extroverted, while I liked to stay by myself. Amaryllis could be bold in her questions, but me—I read the room.

My mother's throat bobbed and she nodded. "A story best for another day."

Amaryllis growled, her tiny eight-year-old body shook in the bed. "I heard an elder say he isn't your true mate."

Mother snapped her head to my sister and narrowed her eyes. "It is treason against your father and alpha. You best not utter those words aloud, again."

Amaryllis narrowed her shoulders. "Don't care. Is it true?"

My mother stood up, her footsteps resonating softly on the wooden floor as she made her way towards the doorway to our room. With worry in her eyes, she gently pushed the door open, allowing a sliver of light to filter in from the hearth of the kitchen. After a brief moment, she closed it with a gentle click, shutting out the outside world. Returning to us, she gracefully lowered herself to the floor before us.

"This does not leave this room, nor is it repeated, my sweet pups." Her hand cupped both of our faces. "I think it is why I teach you about mates, so much, because I want you to find your own—your true mates. Your grandparents wanted the same for me."

My heart seized in my chest with sorrow, but my sister exuded anger.

"A long time ago, our pack was peaceful, until your father—a single alpha male - came along. His pack was strong, and was envious of our territory and how well we took care of the forest. He wanted it for himself. He visited our pack many times, offering my father an alliance. That alliance would be to mate with me and join the packs together. One day his patience grew thin and he gave an ultimatum. Submit or there would be a war.

"My father refused. He believed in the mate bond, but your father wanted me for my body and for the land. That was when war broke out, at the negotiations table." A tear ran down my mother's cheek.

I climbed down from my cot and sat on her lap. My sister did the same as we held onto her.

"The battle was brutal. We weren't ready for such bloodshed, but Mordecai was. It lasted for days. Our resources were depleted and many of us took to the forest. That was when I caught a smell that relaxed my body and nearly drifted me to sleep."

"Your mate," Amaryllis gasped.

Mother nodded. "Yes, and he was so handsome." She brushed my sister's hair away from her face. "He was a warrior for Mordecai, but ‘sides' blurred at that moment because we were both instantly drawn to one another. We both shifted and, naked, ran to each other, holding one another."

"Ew," I squirmed in my mother's seat.

She laughed and kissed my cheek.

"Our happiness was short-lived, though." Her voice grew soft. "Because Mordecai found us. Our happiness blinded us to the danger surrounding us, and it tore us apart. Your father gave me a choice. Accept his mark and bite him in return, or my pack, and my family would be murdered."

My mother stared at the blank wall, as if she was living every moment.

"I cried for him." Her lip wobbled. "I wanted him. I chose him. But my mate—trying to be the hero— took Mordecai's dagger from his side and stabbed himself in the chest."

My sister and I both stared at my mother in complete devastation.

"He did it so I could save my pack and family."

My sister and I sat silently clinging to our mother.

"Do not be a hero," Mother whispered to the both of us. "Do not be a hero, because look at me now. Our pack has turned evil, pups are discarded, there is no love, and mates be damned. The only good that has come out of it is the two of you. Without you both, I am nothing but a husk of my former self."

"Then, what are we supposed to be if we can't be a hero?" My sister asked.

I swallowed and leaned against my mother and sister. "A villain. That's all that's left."

We sat in silence while my mother silently cried.

"I didn't even know his name," she muttered.

My sister and I sat at our favorite spot. It was on the far side of the lake, away from where the pack would gather their water and fish.

"I heard Mother and Father arguing last night," I sat and whittled the block of wood I held in my hand. It was my favorite pastime. I enjoyed making small animals, people and even furniture. My sister and I had a full trunk of the creations I'd made, and would play with them during the rainy seasons.

"When do they not?" My sister swung on a vine from a tree and landed on both her feet with steady precision. "I don't even want to call him Father or my alpha anymore, after hearing what Mother told us about him."

I twisted my lips and concentrated on my carving. "Nothing we can do now. Not until we are stronger, or you take over the pack," I said.

I was glad that Amaryllis was the firstborn. It meant I had more time to do things I wanted. I didn't have the expectations of upholding a pack, to protect it and help it grow. Amaryllis had all those qualities a proper alpha should have; better qualities than Mordecai ever possessed.

"I'll turn this place around." Amaryllis put her hands on her hips. "Back how Mother said it was. Where the water was so clean so you didn't have to boil it, the animals so scared that we have to hunt miles away."

I smirked. My sister knew how to go off on her tangents. I think that is what I liked most about her. Her confidence and her desire for a change.

"I'll support you anyway I can. Your training starts tomorrow for alpha, right?"

Mordecai expected training from pups as young as eight years old. It was no different for his children. However, it felt earlier for us. At night, he taught us things a pup shouldn't know. About war, blood, and who to trust.

There were nights where he would send Amaryllis to bed and make me stay awake. He would drone for hours about alpha duties. Strength, bravery, determination, and to do what one can to win a fight.

I didn't understand why he would tell me these things. I was not meant to be alpha.

"Yes, on the morrow. Will you stand and watch my first training?" She stood over me, blocking the sun from my sight.

"Yes, now move, you are in the way." I pushed her leg and she laughed, falling over to my side. As she sat, she nudged me and gazed down at the wood that still had yet to take shape.

"And once I change things in years to come, what will you do? Will you be a warrior, be my beta?"

I shook my head and held up the block. "No, I will be none of those things."

"Then what?" My sister acted appalled.

It was rather odd to think of anything other than sparring, fighting, or becoming a warrior or hunter within the pack. It was all we did in the Blood Rose. However, before our time, Mother said that every wolf had a job, and it didn't have to involve fighting and blood. There were clothes makers, homebuilders and bakers. Things we didn't have to outsource or trade.

"I would want to be a toy maker." I smiled. "I'd want to make toys for all the pups. Toys we never got to go play with much because we were too busy trying to—" I stared at the other side of the lake. Children were gathering water, or fighting over food and scraps. They were encouraged to fight with one another. "—I want pups to know what it means to play. Like Mother explained."

My sister laughed. "And you will explain how to play? Become their creepy uncle and lead them into your toy shop?"

"Hey!" I snorted and pushed her away from me. "I will not be creepy! I'd be the fun uncle."

Amaryllis cried out when I lunged at her. "That isn't any better! Mercy, mercy!" She cried. I continued to tickle her, and we rolled into the dirt, laughing. My whittling knife and block of wood were long gone as we rolled into the tall grasses.

I gasped, feeling the cool droplets of sweat forming on my forehead. Slowly, I lifted my head from the rumpled sheets, my eyes scanning the room, desperately seeking reassurance that I hadn't been transported back there.

Once I took a deep breath, smelling my mate's scent, my heart slowed and my body relaxed. I snuggled my body around hers, in the blankets that served as our nest.

Watching scenes replay of my past— feeling my sister's touch and hearing her laughter made my heart seize in my chest. We were both so young and innocent, and she was so damn fierce.

I felt my throat bob, and I buried my nose into my mate's neck. Her body didn't move, and I pushed myself closer to her, enveloping her.

Soon, my mate would know everything about me. Who I am, where I came from, why I am the way I am.

Will she run in fear? Will she understand at all?

I fucking hated the unknown.

I squeezed her tighter, my body covering hers.

I would not let her go. She would not leave me.

I will not lose another person I loved.

Mine.