Chapter 37

CHAPTER

THIRTY-SEVEN

DANI

I made it through two days without totally breaking down. As a single, working mom, I don’t have the luxury of a breakdown. I have to put one foot in front of the other. The sun will come up each morning, giving me a fresh day, a clean slate, to start over. I dig deep down for my eternal optimism. Unfortunately, it’s buried deep.

Today, though, I don’t want to start over. I want to turn back time to when a certain man was beside me. Too bad that won’t be happening. It’s what’s best for him. I always knew we had an expiration date because we didn’t make sense. Except we did.

“Mom?” Tyler peeks into my bedroom, trying to be considerate, his attempt at letting me sleep in. We do this sometimes. If he finds cereal on the counter on a Saturday, he knows he can watch TV and eat until I join him. It’s rare, but we’ve done it a few times. Today I’m in bed longer than usual.

“Hey, tiger. Come here.” I pat the bed, and he scurries over, snuggling under the comforter, his cold feet hitting my legs, making me re flexively pull away. “Brrr. Where are your socks?” I pull him in tighter, wrapping him in my warm embrace.

“It’s our last game today, but you don’t feel good.” He looks at me, worry lining his face. He’s been extra clingy for the past few days. He knows something’s wrong but doesn’t know what. Kids have that sixth sense. But it’s not his job to worry about me, so I need to step up my game.

“I wouldn’t miss it for the world.” I pull him close and hold on to him with everything I have. This kid is my reason for getting out of bed every day. I don’t know how I’d be managing without him. “Let’s get ready. Put a long sleeve shirt under your uniform today. It might be a little cold.”

His smile lights up his face. Did he think I’d miss his game? How could he think that about me?

Xander’s words echo in my head. Is that what you think of me? That I’m here because I think you’re a charity case? That I feel sorry for you? Or that I’m using you? That’s the kind of man you think I am? The hurt in his eyes haunts my dreams. How could I think that about him? I don’t. But I fear the lawyer could certainly persuade a jury to believe that, and I won’t let that happen.

We get ready and head to the ball field. The new, sturdy stands are full of supporters for the Slugger’s last game. I think the word has leaked out that there might be some Reapers here, explaining the larger-than-expected crowd. I’m surprised to see Darcy sitting beside Jenny, both with a blanket over their legs. It’s almost Thanksgiving, and the fall chill is upon us.

I put on my best smile, greet my parents, and join the girls with a hug. “Darcy, this is a pleasant surprise.”

“Yeah, Matt wanted to be in the dugout. You can’t keep that guy away from the field. Is it okay I tagged along?” She’s sporting a gorgeous camel-hair coat and scarf and looks so put together. Jenny looks adorable, as usual. Me? I’m more than my usual mess.

Jenny keeps up the small talk as we cheer on the kids. Alexander is coaching the Sluggers with the Reapers’ players staying on t he field for both teams. They’re giving back. Taking care of the community.

I wasn’t sure he’d show, but he’s a man that keeps his word. He told the kids he’d be here, and he is. But this game feels different to me. He hasn’t looked in the stands once. The realization hits me, and the cold washes over me. I asked him to leave me alone. And he’s a man of his word.

“Luis said you found a house?” Jenny and Darcy are still chatting, but I’m lost in my own thoughts.

“We did, and I love it. It’s close enough to the stadium for Matt and has tons of charm for me. I’ll have my work cut out, but I’m excited. We’ll have a housewarming once we’re settled, and I expect you both to come. Promise?” Darcy reaches over and squeezes my hand. How can I say no to her? She’s just the sweetest.

“Of course we will,” Jenny replies. “Won’t we, Dani?”

I nod and give her a forced smile. “Umhum.”

Jenny leans in and whispers. “Everything okay? You seem off.”

“Yeah, fine. Just got a lot going on.” I mentioned the court date to her but didn’t share anything about the deposition. It was hellacious, and I want to put it behind me.

“I know. Everything okay with Alexander?” She looks at me anxiously, dreading the inevitable answer. I’ve shared my hesitation and concerns about us. She knows how guarded I am. I haven’t told her I’ve asked him to step away.

“It’s as it should be,” I respond. I reach for the positive. “Luis looks like he’s having fun. He’s a keeper.” I bump into her shoulder.

“Yeah, things are good. He’s going home for a while over the holidays. I might miss the goof.” I’m happy to see her with a guy that deserves her.

The game wraps up, the kids gather around their coaches, and someone suggests a group photo. I see Mom down there and know she’ll get one. I’ll stay where I am. It’s his team now. I asked for sp ace, so I need to abide by it. Alexander never looks my way. Good job, girl. You sold it.

The kids say goodbye to their coaches. Jenny and Darcy go to join their guys while Tyler skips over to me. “Mom, Mom, did you see me? I made three outs. I told you I’m a good third baseman like Matt.”

“You were awesome. You ready to head home?”

“Yeah, I’m going to miss baseball.” His excitement escapes like a deflating balloon.

“Me too, tiger. Me too.”

Alexander heads to his car. He never looks back. As he walks away, he takes a piece of my heart with him.