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Chapter 20

Traze was hesitant to start their expedition once again, but after half a day of waiting and watching Veda play in the water, he knew she was physically ready.

Yet Traze did not feel emotionally ready. Things were only going to get more treacherous from here on out. Soon they would be trekking up the mountain peak. It would be a far more difficult journey, which he hoped Veda could handle.

He was beginning to really dread the fact that he had allowed Veda to come on this expedition. Already, he had nearly gotten her killed. Thankfully, they were carrying the fang and some healing sands with them now, so even if something else happened, Traze should be able to inject her and assure she would be okay.

Still, he knew he had put her through hell by taking her on this trip. He would never forget the fear in her eyes when she realized she was slowly dying from the shuraa's venom. Traze didn't think she'd be able to recover from her near-death experience. She might have been fine physically, but he imagined it would have lasting emotional damage.

It didn't seem to, though. Today, Veda woke up and was her usual self—sassy, bossy, fun-loving, and ready for any adventure. It didn't seem to affect her as much as it affected Traze.

But now that Traze had a glimpse of what it would be like to lose Veda, he truly could not let her leave his side. He would have to be with her each and every moment. He had to protect her.

And most importantly, he had to claim her.

He was ashamed that it took nearly losing her for him to realize this. But before then, he had convinced himself he had to have more loyalty to his tribe than to Veda.

He now knew that was impossible. Yes, he cared about his tribe, and he very much was determined to be a good leader, but that didn't mean he could care about his leadership as much as he cared about Veda.

She was his kode. It was his destiny to protect her. She was his and was brought to him by Eana. He had to treat her like the gift she was.

And Traze now knew she was a gift in more ways than one. Yes, she was his kode, and she made him happier than he'd ever been, but even beyond that, she had already done so much for the Living Sands. She had discovered that the healing sands could be injected directly, which would likely save many lives in the future as the healing sands became depleted. None of the seers had realized this. Veda wasn't just a gift to Traze but to the Living Sands as a whole.

As Traze packed up for the next part of their voyage, he asked Batair to watch Veda closely. He actually had come around to the name and enjoyed calling him something other than his lawe. Veda was right, it made their relationship seem more special.

Traze was helping the other warriors collect their things when Najol walked up to him.

"Yes?" Traze asked, seeing that he wanted to speak.

"I owe you an apology," Najol said contritely.

This surprised Traze. He could think of nothing that Najol needed to apologize for.

"Why?" Traze asked.

"Because of what I said to you about Veda. I had told you to put her second, to ignore her as your kode for the good of our tribe. I admit that at first, I had my prejudices about her being human, and I believe I allowed that to make me judgmental. But now I see the truth… That she is special."

Traze couldn't help but smile. "You really think so?"

"Yes. Even if she is wrong, and we discover nothing more on this expedition, she has likely already saved us all with her discovery about injecting the healing sands. It is clearly much more effective than bathing in them, and even with our current low supply, if we save it and dole it out in small shots, we will be able to heal people for ages. It is a tremendous gift from Eana that she taught us that. I should not have doubted her as your kode. Eana sent her to you for a reason, and clearly she wants you to focus on her. We reap the rewards when you bond with your kode, and I hope that bond continues."

"I thank you greatly for this. It is good to know that I am not the only one who sees how great Veda is."

"You definitely are not," Najol assured him. "I have spoken with the other warriors about it. We all appreciate her presence. She has done amazing things here, and we will not soon forget it."

Traze eyed him. "Is that how… everyone feels?"

Najol did not pick up on his tone. "What are you asking?"

"I just do not think Aldohr feels the same, and I have been growing suspicious of him. It is clear that he dislikes Veda greatly, but I cannot see why."

Najol did not seem too concerned. "I am sure it is hard for a seer not to be jealous of Veda and all she has accomplished in a short time. You know how the seers pride themselves on intelligence and discovery. I am sure he is resentful. But in time, he will realize what a difference Veda has made and will come around."

"I hope so," Traze said tersely.

And he really did hope so because if not, he was not going to be able to continue to tolerate this treatment of Veda. If the disrespect did not dissipate, Traze would make it a priority to rid Aldohr of his position.

"So…" Najol began. "Have you spoken to her about the fact that she is your kode?"

Traze frowned. "No, I have not."

"But… why not?" Najol asked.

Traze sighed. "For so long, I didn't do it because I wanted to focus on my tribe and being a good leader during our crisis of the healing sands."

"Well, she may very well have solved that crisis, not to mention what we might discover on this expedition she suggested. I believe you should go to her and be forthcoming."

Traze nodded.

He agreed with Najol. It was time to be honest with Veda and hope she would be receptive to being his kode.

He knew that Veda cared for him, though. He was sure of it, so he was not too fearful that she would be disappointed. Still, it was a daunting thing.

With other Ateran mates, once you find your kode, the immediate connection was mutual. With humans, they seemed to take longer as they mulled over their options. They did not fall instantly in love as Aterans did.

But Traze decided he would tell her today regardless and hope for the best reaction.

The sound of footsteps came from behind him. It was Veda.

"So, are you ready to go?" she asked.

"Yes," Traze said, "though I should warn you we will not be traveling at the same speed today."

Veda seemed surprised by this.

"No? Why not?"

"Well, we will soon be approaching the edge of that mountain." Traze pointed to the snowy figure in the distance. "And as we approach it, more rock formations jut out of the Living Sands. Batair will need to go slower to ensure he can climb each formation adequately."

Veda didn't seem bothered by this at all. "Sounds fun! Let's get going!"

Traze thought how, because of Batair's slower movements, this would be the perfect time for him to speak to Veda about being his kode. It would have been difficult to have a serious conversation on their previous trip considering the speed with which Batair ran.

"Batair, please come," Traze shouted out.

Veda smiled proudly. "You really like being able to call him that. Don't you?"

"I admit, I do." It was easier to call his lawe specifically now that he had a name.

"It's so cute to watch you call him by his name! It's the way it should be."

Traze lifted Veda onto Batair and then mounted him behind her, willing him to run along.

For a while, Batair still kept a very quick speed. When he was going from tree to tree, he was able to do so with ease.

While he was soaring through the skies, Traze chose to enjoy this time with Veda. Her deep red hair flowed in the wind, looking beautiful as ever. Traze had his hands at her waist, and he inched closer to her, placing his head on her back. Even after getting filthy from this expedition, she smelled amazing.

When Batair finally slowed down, Traze took the opportunity to speak to Veda plainly.

"How are you enjoying your time on Atera?" Traze asked her.

"I actually kind of love it," she replied.

"You are not disappointed that you did not get to go to your intended location? To meet the alien you were to mate with?"

"Not really. I mean, I can't lie. I was disappointed when I first arrived. I had set out from planet Earth with a very specific goal in mind, and I felt like that goal had been thwarted. But now that I'm here, I've forgotten all about those other plans. This is a truly beautiful planet, and all you Aterans have been so accommodating. If I spend the rest of my life here, I think I'll be just fine with that."

"And what exactly was your specific goal?" Traze asked, though he believed he already knew her answer. Frankly, at this point, he was just probing in order to delay what he needed to say.

"I just really wanted to meet a man who was ready to marry me and have kids with me. I've long dreamt of having a family of my own, and I thought going to the Nyx Station to be paired with my future mate was the only way to do that. And after so much rejection and false starts back on Earth, I was ready to be welcomed into my new husband's life with open arms. I wanted to be loved effortlessly from the start… I hope that doesn't sound stupid." She sighed.

"No, no, it does not sound stupid at all," Traze assured her.

"It's just that I never had that growing up. You know? Growing up in foster care… I never really had a family."

"Foster… You have said that word twice now. What does it mean?" Traze asked.

"Oh, right… I forget sometimes that I need to explain certain things. I don't imagine Aterans have any way to foster kids. You guys just find your mate, have your kids, and stick with your family for life. But things are a little different on Earth."

"People do not stick with their mates and children back on Earth?"

"Not always, no. Most people do, or at least strive to, but once you meet your mate on Earth, you aren't bonded to them for life. You're able to leave… You can leave your mate. You can leave your children… And people do that. They find new mates, sometimes they have new children. It's really complicated. And because of that, some kids end up alone without a family. And that was me. I never knew my parents, never even knew what happened to them. They could have died, for all I know."

Traze was appalled by this. "You did not have a family?"

"No, I didn't. And that's what fostering is. Since I didn't have a family, I stayed with a bunch of families, one after the other. I'd spend a few months with one family, and then I'd move on to the next. Again, it's complicated and difficult to explain, but that's the gist of it. I never had one single family to call my own."

Traze heard the pain in Veda's voice and rubbed her back gently.

"That sounds horrific. Here on Atera, if parents pass, a close family member will take in that child for life. No child is left without a home on Atera."

"And that's one of the things I find so beautiful about your planet. People don't leave each other. Kids don't get left alone. It's kind of a utopia in that way."

"Utopia?" Traze asked.

"A perfect place, somewhere that is completely happy with no issues. I mean, I know you guys have some issues, but trust me, it's nothing compared to the mess that humans are back on Earth. Needless to say, because of my history, life on Atera really appeals to me and I'm happy to be a part of it. I really am."

Traze smiled to himself. "I am so glad to hear this. I wish for you to never be sad or lonely ever again. I would do anything to prevent that."

"I know, and I really appreciate it. You've been so accommodating when you didn't have to be. I appreciate it."

Traze cleared his throat. "Does this all mean that… you are not bothered by the idea of kodes?"

"No, not at all! I love the concept."

"Really?" Traze asked hopefully.

But his hopes were quickly dashed by what she had to say next.

"Yeah, I love the idea that I'm going to meet someone, and they're going to instantly love me and never leave my side. Hopefully that doesn't sound shallow, but I'm sure you'll understand… It just seems so special for someone to know they love you and announce it to you on the spot. I can't wait to meet my Ateran mate, if I even have one. I'm sure if I had one in the Living Sands, he would have announced himself already."

Traze felt like a fool. He realized now he should have told her who she was to him from the very beginning. By keeping it secret, Veda may now doubt his love for her.

The one thing Veda had wanted was for someone to show her instantaneous love. And Traze had that love for her… He was just holding back for the benefit of his tribe, or that was what he told himself.

How was he now going to explain his lack of dedication after her arrival? Would she understand? Would she forgive him?

Traze stopped asking questions and rode along quietly with Veda until they reached the edge of the mountain.

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