53. Memphis

CHAPTER FIFTY-THREE

memphis

I hadn’t moved a muscle since planting myself directly outside of Indy’s bedroom with my computer in my lap. He stopped responding to my pounding on the door and didn’t bother to answer any of the questions that I screamed through it. So, I’d decided this section of the hallway was mine until that door opened, or until Jersey and Utah returned.

I was watching every move that both of their phones made with a laser focus, which nearly gave me an instant headache. There weren’t any cameras I could use nearby that would give me even a slight view of them. Neither man wore a camera. And against my better judgement, I hadn’t hidden a camera on Persephone at any point in the last few months like I’d considered on several occasions.

I sat there sweating profusely, imagining the million ways this little side quest could go horribly wrong, until both of their phones were moving quickly back in the direction of this house. Indy opened the door a few minutes after that, and I glared straight up at him.

“Don’t look at me like that, sweets,” he said quickly. “They needed one of us to be on the information side of it. It could’ve been a disaster if they’d been completely on their own, and you know they still would’ve done it anyway.”

“I could have just fucking blocked the number,” I said very impatiently. “I could have just fucking deleted the number from existence. You could’ve done that, Indy. It didn’t have to happen this way at all. Why was nobody using their brain? You’d think with three of you involved, someone would’ve had a whole thought.”

“We’re talking about Jersey and Utah. That was never going to catch it for either of them.”

I rolled my eyes so hard I saw my own spinal cord.

I made my way back down the stairs just to nearly burn a hole through the flooring with the pacing that I did while we waited for the boys to get back.

“You can probably calm down, Memphis,” Trista said quietly from the kitchen island on one of my trips past it. “If they’re on the way back, whatever they did is already done and over.”

“That doesn’t at all mean it’s over,” I meant to just think, but ended up very much saying out loud.

“One of them would’ve said something by now if it hadn’t gone well,” she tried again.

“Just because their actions didn’t have immediate repercussions doesn’t mean they won’t bring about eventual problems.”

“She’s just going to be mad. Won’t do you any good to try to convince her not to be,” Indy chimed in. “There’s not much changing her mind once she’s made it up.”

“I swear to everything unholy,” I mumbled. “It’s like you all just choose to forget that there’s an entire criminal organization of highly skilled bounty hunters being guided by even more skilled hackers all across this country. And they’re all looking for us.”

The sound of Persephone’s exhaust from the driveway effectively ended that conversation. I went straight for the door to wait for whichever man dared to be the one to open it.

“Oh, fuck that,” Utah laughed the second he had the door cracked open just enough to see me. He stepped back instantly and motioned for Jersey to go first. Jersey scoffed at him and walked right in.

“What in the actual fuck is wrong with the two of you?” I asked.

“Is that your version of asking if we’re both okay?” Jersey asked.

“No. I meant it exactly the way I asked it.”

“I told you not to answer that fucking call to begin with,” Jersey hissed over his shoulder at Utah.

“You what?” I demanded.

Utah shrugged while he made his way through the door. He didn’t stop until he was toe to toe with me and I had to glare straight up to be able to try to set him on fire with my eyes. His hands went to either side of my face.

“She called me the love of her life on that call. She can yell at me all she wants now,” he said so very softly. Then he kissed me. And I couldn’t move. Or think, apparently.

“Did he —? Did he just diffuse Memphis?” Indy whispered very loudly.

That brought my brain back to life when Triss giggled. I put my hands up on Utah’s chest and he took a giant step backward before I’d even attempted to push him.

“Why?” I asked.

“He just needed to be reminded to leave you alone,” Utah said and raised his hands in surrender.

“And you know that because you used my phone. Again. Like you shouldn’t have done. Again .”

“Hey, I told you I wouldn’t use your phone to tell him to fuck off again . And I didn’t. I just took his number from your phone. Made Indy do the rest.”

“Oh, don’t you fucking dare toss me under that bus. She’s been mad at me all day,” Indy said. “You’re on your own now, hoss.”

“Utah,” I tried again. “It would only take one misstep for this entire organization to suddenly be aware that we’re all together in Indiana. Just one. And there would be no undoing it. No fixing it. That’s how serious this is.”

“Can’t wait to see baby boy try to find a way out of that one,” Jersey said with another scoff.

“ Baby boy ,” Indy repeated and laughed before he looked Utah. “You’re going to let that slide?”

“My dick hangs past my nuts when I’m soft, man. That’ll still be the case regardless of any shitty nickname thrown my way from an asshole,” Utah said.

“Are you guys serious right now?” Trista asked.

Utah looked back at me after that.

“I know how much this means to you, sugar. I know you’re scared that it’ll all fall apart. I know all you do with your time is try to predict every possible thing that could derail what you’re trying to do. I know who you are, Memphis. I’m sorry I was the reason for so much of your stress today,” Utah said and stepped closer to me again. “But along those lines, I need you to go get a bag ready because we’re leaving for a few days. We’re going to go do something to start healing those wounds.”

I couldn’t at all wrap my head around how we were in his truck and headed south within the hour. None of the decisions that I made, made any sense at all when Utah was involved. This wasn’t the time to be running all over the country on pointless adventures. This wasn’t the time to be spending all of our time out in the world where anyone could find us. Now that I was trapped in this truck with him again while it was rolling down the interstate, all I could think about was how we had a million other things that we both should’ve been focusing on.

“Calm down, sugar.”

I glared at him. “I didn’t say anything.”

“If you rage-think any harder, I’ll be able to see the smoke rolling out of your ears any minute now.”

“Whatever this is, Utah, we shouldn’t be doing it.”

“I had Indy try to find the house where you and your sister were kept,” he said quietly.

A thousand thoughts exploded in my head all at once and rendered me perfectly speechless.

“I need you to focus, angel. I need you to stay here with me.”

I heard his voice, but my brain stood no chance at processing the words he used.

“Memphis.”

The calm, commanding tone had my eyes locked on him that time.

“Listen to my voice, sugar. You’re going to be fine. I’ll be there every step of the way. The place should be empty right now. We’re going to look for anything that might lead us deeper into this side of the organization, and then we’re going to fucking burn it down. We’re going to leave the worst parts of your memories right there in the ashes.”

I still didn’t have any words available to respond to him. I imagined he was trying to stay quiet to wait and give me a chance to say anything at all, but there was just nothing.

In the middle of the panic, there was still a tiny voice in the back of my mind reminding me that this was Utah. This was Colt. If I really didn’t want to do whatever this was, I could tell him that and it’d be the end of my part in this trip.

Utah.

The unwavering calm presence to balance my never-ending chaos.

Colt .

The unshakable stability to pause the thoughts that raced through my mind in every direction every second of every day.

The quiet power to hold me together while everything else fell apart.

I couldn’t put words together for him just then, but I was at least able to move myself to the middle seat so I could squish my body against his.