chapter 29

One Month Later

IT'S THE FIRST SHOW OF LGC's summer tour. They're starting in Cali, then will tour across the US before wrapping their shows in September. Dex asked me to come with him, so now Margot and I are living out of his tour bus. My winter season with the orchestra starts in September, so I'll need to return to LA early to get ready for my first season as concertmistress.

I can still scarcely believe it.

Kind of like how I can barely believe I'm standing backstage at SoFi Stadium right now, listening to the deafening roar of the screaming audience. LGC already played their opening song, "Last Night," and "Crash Course" is next.

Ashton stands next to me, lips cherry red and her dark hair styled in voluptuous curls. She leans in to whisper in my ear, breath smelling slightly of vodka from the celebratory shots we all took before the show started. "Follow me," she says. "I wanna show you something."

She takes my hand and has to physically pull me away. My eyes are glued on Dex where he's standing onstage, illuminated by brilliant light that makes his hair appear gold. I don't want to take my gaze off him, don't want to miss a thing, but she's dragging me away now, into the darkness of backstage.

"I don't wanna miss the next one," I say, glancing back over my shoulder, though all I can see now are the bustling show crews.

"You won't ," she says. "Come on. Just trust me."

I stop resisting, letting her drag me through the dark. We exit through a door and hurry down a long quiet hallway, our heels echoing out a staccato rhythm on the concrete floor. Then we're stopping at a door manned by a security guard. We show him our passes, and as soon as he opens the door, Sebastian's kick beat hits me in the chest.

It takes my eyes a moment to adjust to the dark and the flashing lights. Ashton keeps ahold of my hand, dragging me into the stadium.

And I finally realize where we are: the front row.

"I wanted you to see it firsthand," she yells into my ear, her voice almost getting lost as Michael's heavy bass line comes in. "There's no better way to see the show!"

Ashton flashes her pass at another security guard, and after she says something into his ear, he leads us through the crushing crowd to a spot in the middle of the front row.

And now Dex is standing right in front of me, bathed in strobing lights, his bare arms glittering with a sheen of sweat. A burst of smoke billows up behind the band, and when Dex steps up to the microphone, the crowd goes wild.

I didn't think it was possible for them to be any louder.

But I was wrong.

They scream his name at the top of their lungs. Beside us, a woman has tears streaming down her face, the word "Dex" written across her cleavage in permanent marker.

Seeing all these women losing their minds for him... It kind of turns me on.

And somehow, despite the lights and the smoke and the absolute chaos, Dex finds me in the front row.

And his smile gives me life .

He's wearing a baggy tank, his tatted arms on beautiful display. Reaching up, he pulls the material aside and points to the fresh ink on his chest.

Little Monster.

Then he points to me, and even though I have no idea if he can see me clearly, I mouth, "I fucking love you."

Maybe he does see me, because his smirk feels like it's just for me.

Lucas comes in on the guitar, Dex grabs the mic, and I get lost in the energy of the crowd.

Dex commands the stage. He's stage right, then stage left, jumping up on the speakers, headbanging so hard with Lucas that their sweat flies into the air, making the audience scream louder.

Watching Dex, I feel my blood pressure rising. The tendons in his hands strain as he shreds on the guitar, the chain around his neck— our chain—glinting in the strobe lights when they hit him.

He's a hurricane. He's my hurricane .

And I love this storm.

As "Crash Course" comes to an end, Ashton and I scream along with the crowd.

She was right: this is so much better than watching from backstage. Being out in the audience, with these crazy fans, is a completely different experience.

It's pure, somehow. And with Dex standing over me in the lights, I'd go so far as to call it holy.

"Fuck," Dex says into the mic. "You're savage, Cali." He laughs when the crowd loses it, flashing them that trademark sideways smirk.

He welcomes them to the show, then introduces the rest of the band. But all I can focus on is him—how he moves, how the lights illuminate him, how the chain hanging from his hip catches the strobes.

Jesus, he's beautiful.

"Now, we have someone special here tonight," Dex says, drifting across the stage. Behind him, Sebastian starts hitting the kick—slow, steady. It's like a heartbeat pulsing through the stadium. "And she might kill me for this," he continues, "but I'm a sick fuck, so I'd probably like it." There's that smirk again, his deep laugh.

Ashton glances at me, a sly little smile on her crimson lips.

And my heart squeezes.

"Tell me, have any of you heard ‘Ghost'?"

The crowd laughs and screams and cries.

Dex's smile is sharp and white. "Good. You did your fuckin' homework."

He's laughing again, drifting back toward our side of the stage, and I'm wondering where he's going with this .

"Then you real fans out there know that before we can play ‘Ghost,' we'll need one more person up on this stage."

Oh no. Oh my god.

Ashton smiles.

I think I might actually die.

He's not going to. He wouldn't.

"Nora Miller," he whispers into the mic, making the hair on my arms stand on end. "We need you up here, Monster."

He kneels at the edge of the stage. His eyes are on me now, and the crowd follows his gaze right to me. Then the cameras shift, and my surprised wide eyes are displayed on all the jumbo screens throughout the stadium.

Sebastian keeps up the kick. My eyes flash briefly to him, and he's smiling like the accomplice he is. Turns out they all are.

Assholes.

"Well?" Dex says, looking right at me this time. "You gonna leave me up here all alone, Nora?"

He waits for me, for my response. A wave of suspense ripples through the crowd. The woman next to us, with Dex's name written on her boobs, looks at me, her teary eyes going wide. Everyone in my vicinity is staring at me now.

And there's that fucking kick drum, like a ticking clock. It's beating through me. My heart synchs up with it, pumping hot blood through my veins.

There's no way I can tell Dex no.

And he knows it.

Shit.

I catch the security guard's eye, and then he's there, taking my arm, guiding me to the edge of the stage. Dex smiles, and the crowd loses their minds when he reaches for my hand and pulls me up onto the stage beside him.

Lowering the mic, he leans in to whisper in my ear, "You can punish me later, Little Monster."

I grab the chain hanging from his hip, use it to pull him closer. Over the sound of screaming, I say, "You better get these chains ready."

His laughter makes my stomach flip in a wholly delicious way.

A stage assistant hurries out from backstage, holding an electric violin. He puts it in my hands, then vanishes again, leaving me standing there under the lights.

I look at Dex. I am absolutely going to kill him.

"Let's give Nora a warm welcome!" Dex yells into the mic. The crowd reacts immediately, screaming for us.

Lucas is near enough to give me a fist bump. "Kill it," he mouths.

Sebastian hits the snare while I tighten up my bow. The last thing I see before the lights dim is Dex's face, his lip ring, the silver cross hanging from one ear.

Michael's bass bleeds through the speakers, and Sebastian's kick shifts to the familiar four-four rhythm of "Ghost."

I don't even have time to be scared out of my mind.

Because then Lucas and Dex come in on their guitars, and sparks explode from the stage behind us.

The lights flash blue, bathing the stage in cool tones. Dex looks up, meeting my eyes. I lift my bow to the strings.

And I smile.

The electric violin screams along with the crowd. My body is on fire, my blood simmering beneath my skin as the lights send strobes of blue across the stage. The sequins on my dress shine so bright that I feel like a supernova. Behind us, the screen shows clips of our music video, with me and Dex descending the staircases, then me straddling him in the bed.

He keeps his eyes on me while he sings, and I stare right back.

It almost feels like we're the only two people in this entire stadium... even as seventy thousand people roar in the darkness.

Now my solo is coming up.

But instead of wanting to disappear backstage, I step forward.

I shred .

My notes blast through the speakers, and I close my eyes, feeling the heat and the intensity of the crowd as my fingers tear across the strings.

The audience sings along with Dex as he rips on his guitar, screams for me, for us .

And when the song ends, right there onstage in front of everyone, Dex grabs me around the waist, pulls me in, and crushes his lips to mine. I can taste the salt on his lips, relish the press of his metal against my mouth.

"You're stunning," he says against my lips. Quickly turning to the crowd, he lifts the mic and asks, "Isn't she a fuckin' monster , Cali?"

They respond with an emphatic fuck yes .

Dex looks at me, eyes bright blue and shimmering, and mouths, "I love you, Monster."

I'll be his monster.

I'll be his everything.