Chapter 7

7

Sueco - Drama Queen

Blood drips from my fingertips, warm and sticky, staining my skin with the proof of what we just did. Of what I just did. My heart pounds in my chest, not from fear or guilt, but from the pure, unfiltered rush that comes with ending a life. The drugs pulse through my veins, amplifying every sensation, every thought. I feel alive, free in a way I can’t explain. The weight of the world has lifted, replaced by something darker and intoxicating.

I glance at Caius, and find him watching me. His eyes burning with the same fire that’s coursing through my body. He looks at me like I’m the most beautiful thing he’s ever seen, and it only makes me want him more. The way he’s staring at me like he’s about to devour me whole, does something to me. It adds to the heat building between my thighs. My breath catches, and I realize I’m trembling—not from fear. From anticipation.

The blood on my hands and clothes feels like a second skin, binding us together in this twisted moment. It’s warm and slippery, and I can’t help but run my fingers through it, savoring the feeling. The coppery scent fills the air, mingling with the stench of the alley, but I don’t care. All I can focus on is Caius, on the way he’s moving toward me with eyes filled with that carnal hunger that we seem to share for each other.

I want him. I need him. Right here, right now.

He grabs me, rough and demanding, but I don’t resist. I never do anymore. His hands are on me, pulling me along before he turns me and forces me to lean over on to the dumpster. The cold metal presses against my stomach. The body of the man we just killed lies a few feet away, forgotten in the heat of the moment, but his blood still coats us, still connects us.

Caius doesn’t hesitate and doesn’t ask if I’m okay. He knows I am. He knows this is exactly what I want, what I need. He bunches my blood-soaked dress up and pulls my panties to the side. My eyes find their way back to the lifeless man a few feet away. Behind me, I can hear Caius fumbling with his belt as my eyes lock with the empty, voidless eyes of our victim. Something inside me gets a thrill out of knowing I did that. It’s sick and fucked up, and yet I can’t help but smile as the need for release grows while I look at what I’ve done. Caius finally frees his cock and spits in his hand before slowly stroking himself as he lines himself up.

Looking over my shoulder, I watch. My body humming with anticipation as I watch his hand glide over his cock. Spreading the blood of our victim and his saliva along his length. He smirks at me. His free hand finds it’s way to my hair as he threads his fingers through it and tugs on the roots.

Without warning, he slams into me, and the world disappears. It’s just us—just the two of us lost in the darkness, the madness, the need. The blood between us makes everything slick, dirty, perfect. It’s raw and real, and it’s everything I crave.

Because I’m sick. I’m fucked up, just like him.

“Oh fuck,” I cry out. My voice echoes off the empty alley around us. Gripping the dumpster, I hold on tightly as Caius fucks me. His hold on my hair tightens while his free hand grips my hip, holding me down. Forcing me to take every fucking inch of him.

Caius pulls my head back, bringing his mouth mere inches from my ear, “Look at what you’ve done, little lunatic. Look at the carnage you have created. I always knew you were a monster like me,” he whispers. His breath is laced with tequila and a darkness that sends a chill down my spine and has my lips pulling into a smile. I can feel him moving inside me, every thrust pushing me closer to the edge, every sound he makes driving me wild. I press back against him, meeting him, needing him to go harder, faster. The drugs make everything more intense and more vivid, and I’m drowning in it, loving every second.

“Hard, Caius. Please,” I beg. “Fuck me harder.”

“Such a filthy little slut mommy and daddy raised,” he groans, “You like how your brother's cock feels inside you, don’t you, Tatum. You like that it’s me and only me who can do it for you. Make you feel this fucking good,”

He’s right. I do. Right now, I don’t give a fuck that we were raised together. That we spent our childhood as siblings with a never-ending rivalry that I never understood. Right now, all I care about is his cock and how he knows how to hit every fucking spot I need him to hit.

He releases his hold on my hair and grips my hips with both his hands. His fingers are digging into my blood-slicked flesh so hard I know there’ll be bruises tomorrow. But I don’t care. I want the marks. I want the reminder of this moment, of him. I’m close, so close, and I can tell he is, too. The sounds of our bodies, the filthy alley, the blood—it’s all too much, and I feel myself shatter, my release crashing over me in waves.

He follows, his grip tightening as he spills inside me, and I collapse against the dumpster, spent and breathless but completely satisfied. Caius doesn’t move for a moment, just stays there, inside me, his breath hot against my neck. When he finally does pull away, I turn to look at him, and the expression on his face nearly takes my breath away.

Caius always hated me. Or at least that’s what I thought. He always looked at me like I was disgusting. A vile object in his life that he couldn't wait to be rid of, and I didn’t always blame him. Especially after how hard our parents were on him. But right now, there's no sign of that hatred. Right now, he’s looking at me like I’m everything, like I’m his world, and in this moment, I know I am. We’re both covered in blood in the aftermath of what we just did, but it doesn’t matter. All that matters is us.

I smile, and he smiles back, that twisted, dangerous smile that makes my heart race. This is what I live for. This is who I am.

The world is quieter in the early morning, just before dawn. I sit in the corner of Caius’s room, knees drawn to my chest, staring at the shadows that stretch across the floor. The silence should be comforting, but it isn’t. It’s heavy, oppressive, filled with thoughts I don’t want to face, questions I’m too afraid to ask.

Caius is still asleep, his breath steady and even, his arm draped possessively over where I usually lie. He’s a light sleeper, always alert, always ready for whatever threat might come our way. But now, in this moment, he’s vulnerable, and I can’t help but wonder if he ever feels the same uncertainty gnawing at me.

I used to think I was strong and resilient. I used to think I could handle anything that came my way. But now… now I’m not so sure. I feel like I’m unraveling, like the person I used to be is slipping away, replaced by someone I barely recognize. Someone darker. Someone who did things last night that I never imagined I’d be capable of.

The memory of the blood on my hands, the sound of the knife slicing through flesh, haunts me. I did that. I helped take a life because Caius asked me to because I wanted to prove to him that I was his. But what does that make me now? A killer? A monster? Or just another puppet in Caius’s twisted game?

I glance over at him, my heart constricting with a mix of fear and longing. He’s everything to me, my world, my anchor in the chaos surrounding us. But he’s also the one pulling me deeper into this darkness, dragging me further away from the person I used to be. And the worst part is, I don’t know if I can stop him.

I don’t even know if I want to.

The doubt creeps in like a poison, seeping into every corner of my mind, twisting my thoughts until I can’t tell what’s real and what’s just the fear talking. I love him. I hate him. I need him. I want to run as far away as I can. But I know I won’t. I’m too deep, too far gone. And the realization terrifies me.

I rise from the floor, careful not to wake him, and move toward the window. The city is just starting to wake up, the first hints of daylight creeping over the horizon. It’s a cool, gray morning, the kind that seeps into your bones and makes you feel like the sun might never rise. Fitting, I suppose, considering the state of my soul right now.

Caius stirs behind me, and I tense, wondering if he can sense the turmoil inside me. He always seems to know what I’m thinking, what I’m feeling, even before I do. It’s part of what makes him so dangerous and intoxicating. He knows how to push all the right buttons, how to keep me on the edge, teetering between fear and desire, love and hate.

Which is exactly where he wants me.

“Tatum,” his voice is rough with sleep, a low rumble that sends a shiver down my spine. “Come back to bed.”

I hesitate, my fingers curling around the edge of the window frame as if it could anchor me to something solid, something real. But there’s nothing real in this world anymore. Only Caius and the darkness he’s pulling me into.

“I can’t sleep,” I murmur, not turning around, not trusting myself to meet his eyes.

He’s silent for a moment, and I can feel his gaze on me, sharp and probing like he’s trying to read the thoughts I’m desperately trying to hide.

“Is it what happened last night?” he asks, his voice softer now, almost gentle. “Do you feel guilt? Regret? Because you shouldn’t.”

I swallow hard, my throat tight. I should lie, should tell him that everything’s fine, that I’m fine, that I’m exactly where I want to be. But the words stick in my throat, tangled up in the fear and confusion that’s been growing inside me since the moment I plunged the knife into that man’s chest.

“Caius… I don’t know if I can keep doing this,” I finally say, my voice barely above a whisper. “I don’t know who I am anymore.”

He doesn’t respond immediately, and the silence stretches between us, heavy and suffocating. I can hear him moving behind me, the mattress squeaking under his weight as he gets out of bed. My heart races as he approaches, every instinct telling me to run, hide, and do something to protect myself from whatever comes next.

But I don’t move. I can’t. I’m rooted to the spot, trapped between the fear of what he might do and the need to be close to him, to feel his touch, even if it burns me.

He steps up behind me, his hand coming to rest on my shoulder, his touch firm but not painful. “Look at me,” he commands, and despite everything, I find myself obeying, turning to face him, my eyes locking with his.

There’s a darkness in his gaze, a possessiveness that makes my skin crawl and my heart pound in equal measure. But there’s something else too, something I’ve never seen before. A flicker of uncertainty, of vulnerability, like he’s just as lost in this as I am.

“You’re mine, Tatum,” he says, his voice low, intense. “And I’m yours. We’re in this together. You can’t back out now.”

“I’m not backing out,” I protest, even as doubt claws at my insides. “But… Caius, this life… it’s changing me. It’s consuming me.”

“Good,” he replies, his grip on my shoulder tightening. “That’s what I want. I want you to embrace it. I want you to embrace me. This is who you were always meant to be, don’t you see that? It was them who raised you to be who you were before. They fucking molded you into what they wanted you to be, not what you were really meant for. Don’t you see that? I know you can feel it.”

He’s right. Regardless of how dark and sick the shit we’re doing is, I can’t deny that part of me enjoys it. Part of me craves it.

“But what if I don’t want to?” The words slip out before I can stop them, and I see the flicker of anger in his eyes, the tightening of his jaw, “Feel it, I mean.”

“You don’t have a choice,” he says, his voice cold, hard. “You’re already in this, Tatum. You’ve already crossed the line. There’s no going back.”

I close my eyes, trying to shut out the truth of his words, but it’s no use. He’s right. I’ve gone too far and done too much. I’ve killed for him. I’ve let him lead me down a path I never wanted to be on, and now I’m trapped with no way out.

But there’s a part of me—a small, rebellious part—that still wants to fight, that still wants to find a way to reclaim who I used to be, to find some semblance of the girl I was before Caius came into my life.

Caius watches me, his eyes narrowing as he steps closer, his presence suffocating. He reaches into his pocket, pulling out a small vial of pills, the sound of them rattling together, sending a shiver down my spine. His movements are deliberate, almost slow as if he's savoring the moment, knowing that I’m about to break.

“You want it to stop?” His voice is low, almost a whisper, as he holds out the vial, his gaze never leaving mine. “This is how you make it stop, Tatum. This is how you forget, how you numb the pain. Take them, and everything will fade away. All the fear, all the guilt—it’ll disappear.”

I stare at the vial, the pills inside glinting in the dim light, a mixture of opioids and other substances I can’t even begin to identify. My stomach churns with a mix of dread and longing, the conflict inside me tearing me apart. I know what these pills will do to me. I know the numbness they bring, the way they dull the edges of reality, wrapping me in a haze where nothing matters.

But that’s the problem, isn’t it? Nothing matters. Not the blood on my hands, not the darkness creeping into my soul. And maybe that’s exactly what I want. Maybe that’s the only way I can survive this.

“Take them,” Caius urges, his voice more insistent now. He steps closer, pressing the vial into my hand, his fingers curling around mine, forcing me to hold it. “Stop fighting, Tatum. Stop pretending you can go back to who you were. You’re mine now, and this… this is what you need.”

My breath catches, my heart pounding in my chest as I look up at him, his face a mask of cold determination. He’s not going to let me go. He’s never going to let me go. And deep down, I know that part of me doesn’t want him to. Part of me craves this, craves the chaos, the destruction, the sweet oblivion these pills promise.

With trembling hands, I open the vial, the pills tumbling into my palm, tiny white ovals that seem so harmless, so deceptively innocent. I hesitate, my mind screaming at me to stop, to throw them away, to run. But my body betrays me, my fingers closing around them, my hand shaking as I bring them to my mouth.

“Good girl,” Caius murmurs, his voice smooth, almost soothing as he watches me swallow the pills, one after the other. He knows I’m surrendering, that I’m giving in to the darkness, and that’s exactly what he wants. His approval washes over me, mixing with the bitter taste of the pills, the beginnings of numbness already creeping into my mind.

He pulls a joint from his pocket, lighting it with practiced ease before taking a long drag. The familiar scent of weed fills the air as he holds it out to me, his eyes gleaming with something dark and possessive. “Here, this’ll help too. Just relax, Tatum. Let it all go.”

I take the joint from him, my hands still unsteady, and inhale deeply, the smoke burning my throat as it fills my lungs. The combination of the drugs and the weed hits me hard, a wave of dizziness washing over me, dulling the sharp edges of my thoughts, blurring the lines between right and wrong.

Caius watches me, his expression softening as I exhale, the smoke curling around us like a shroud. He takes my hand, guiding me to the couch, his touch surprisingly gentle as he pulls me down beside him. The room spins around me, the world narrowing to just the two of us, the haze thickening, drowning out everything else.

“See?” he murmurs, his lips brushing against my ear, his breath warm on my skin. “This is what you need, Tatum. This is where you belong. With me. Always with me.”

I nod, the words barely registering as I sink deeper into the numbness, the chaos fading into the background, replaced by a strange sense of peace. It’s all so easy now, so simple. No more fear, no more guilt. Just the two of us, lost in the darkness, together.

But even as I let go, as I allow the drugs to pull me under, a tiny part of me still clings to the light, to the memory of who I used to be. It’s fading, slipping away, but it’s still there, a flicker of resistance in the depths of my mind.

And I know that as long as it exists, there’s a chance—no matter how small—that I might find my way back. But for now, I let it go, let it drift away, surrendering to the darkness, to Caius, to the oblivion that has become my only escape.