Chapter 7

Kendry

"Hi. Please come in." I opened the door to my studio apartment, standing to the side as Zale walked in. He ducked his head crossing my threshold.

Looking at him now occupying the middle of the room made my apartment seem even smaller, the walls closing in. He took up a lot of room.

I didn't know what to think about my friendship with Zale. Yet all I ever did was think about him, and every day I wanted to rush to the club to have more story time with him.

The main thing we'd confessed to each other was that we were both on a break from our usual routines. Having him visit me at my apartment was a no expectations meetup, yet my breath caught in my chest to see him. He brought with him a powerful presence and having him here where I lived changed how I viewed every item in my room.

For example, I loved color. My couch was blue and the chair by the window was bright red. The shelf below the wall TV was covered with mini-squishmallows I'd collected since I was five. My bed, in an alcove by another window, was also covered in plushies, and beside it was a small desk with my laptop on it where I did a lot of my computer work. Was it all too weird?

But then I reminded myself that even though he wasn't a daddy, he'd met me in a littles playroom. He already knew what I was about, and he still wanted to come to my place.

I might be a little, but I was also a good host.

"I have coffee or tea. And Coke and juice. I don't really keep alcohol."

"That's perfectly fine. I'll take a Coke."

"Make yourself at home."

Zale sat on my couch, his eyebrows rising as he sank into the plush cushions with a surprised sigh. I covered my smile with my hand as I moved to the open kitchen area. My couch was super comfy. That had been a priority for me when I got it since I often fell asleep playing games and watching TV before getting myself off to my bed. It was a great place to relax after work. Much more comfortable than the teeny chairs at the club. I only used the teeny chairs because they made me look littler which I wanted to convey.

I brought our drinks to my small living area, Coke for Zale, apple juice in a sippy cup for me. I sat next to him, even though he took up a lot of space with those broad shoulders and the way he sat so casually, knees spread, feet forward. There was still enough space for me, and close enough that I could feel the heat of his body.

Zale smiled, glancing at my cup. It was bright pink with bunny rabbits chasing each other just beneath the rim. I put both hands on either side of it and upended it, spout in my mouth. Did Zale hate that I wanted to use a sippy cup? Did he like it?

I decided a person didn't have to be an actual daddy to be interested in someone else's routine and mannerisms. Especially if they were different from what they were used to. I liked that he watched me.

I leaned forward to set my cup on the coffee table, which I'd stacked with fun books I thought we'd both enjoy. Zale put his Coke to his lips and tipped it up. He gulped and swallowed several times. I thought he'd finish the whole thing right in that moment, but he stopped and set it on the table next to my sippy cup.

"Are you hungry? I have all the food I like, like milk and cereal and chicken nuggets. But I also have fresh sandwich makings." I'd splurged a little beyond my budget at the store knowing he was coming, but the lunchmeat would keep me eating for days, so I justified it quite well. "Turkey. Ham. Plus, peanut butter and jelly."

"I'm fine. But do you like pizza?"

"I do. But I don't have any."

"Not frozen. Fresh. It will be my treat if we order delivery in a little while."

"I'd love that!"

I usually didn't get delivery. Even though I might be able to make a pizza last for two or three meals, it was a little expensive. I already spent a lot of my extra income on a membership to The Red Door. And I was saving for my car registration due next month.

"Can we get mushrooms and pepperoni? And extra cheese?" I couldn't help but rub my hands together.

"We can get whatever you want. Do you like sausage, too?"

I nodded rapidly, unable to contain my excitement. I hadn't been hungry but talking about it now made my stomach rumble.

I beamed, my skin going warm all over at the idea of such a treat. This kind of did feel like a date. Plus, Zale wouldn't go out of his way to come to my place if he wasn't a little interested, would he?

"This is a sweet place. You've made it so cozy and nice," he said as if reading my mind.

I wondered what his place was like, but I didn't want to sound pushy, so I kept that question to myself.

"We can do a story first, then dinner. Sound good?" Zale asked.

"Very good."

We sat together on the couch. It was the closest we'd ever been to each other physically and I liked it. We had not ever set barriers in that way. The only awkward feeling I had was because I thought Zale wouldn't like me if he wasn't daddy material.

I reached out to my stack of books and picked up the top one. As I started to read, Zale did his usual thing of stretching out his legs and tipping his head back. He placed his hands palm down on his chest as his eyelids lowered.

I knew he listened to me because he always had comments about the story afterward.

Today we read the story of a boy wizard who had a pet dragon.

The warmth of Zale beside me melted into my skin. I was always alone here, doing my own thing. I rarely had guests. This was a change I liked. It reminded me how lonely I'd been. I didn't realize how much I missed real companionship until I had it. My other hookups had never scratched that itch since they didn't last and the daddies weren't really interested in me so much as my role in their beds.

When I finished two more books, Zale said, "Are you hungry yet?"

"Are you?"

He smiled. "I can order the pizza now."

It seemed he kept waiting for me to decide things between us. I wasn't used to that. What if I did something he didn't like? Or something wrong?

When he was done typing on his phone, he looked up. "It'll be here in twenty minutes."

That meant time for another story, but I was afraid he would get bored with me. I got up and went to the kitchen, grabbing plates and napkins. He followed.

"Your place is so cute," he said.

"Thanks. I have to keep to the minimum since I don't have much space, but it works."

"It's perfect for a little."

I took a breath, looking away. My cheeks heated. He wasn't a daddy. He didn't date littles. Yet here we were. Was this all right? When would he simply get tired of me and leave?

I didn't want that. I'd gotten used to him. I loved reading aloud to him even though the books were sometimes babyish. If I never saw him again, I would miss him.

I turned to face him. "Do you really like the books I'm reading?"

His eyebrows drew together. "I do. They're fun and relaxing. They take me to a place in my mind where I feel relaxed and like everything is right. I forget my work problems and other stresses."

"That's why you keep coming back at the club?"

He blinked. "Well, I like you, too, Kendry."

I sucked hard at my lower lip. I wasn't sure how to respond. Inside, I was all tingly and warm.

Zale quickly added, "I hope it's okay that I said that. I don't mean to push. I'm not asking you for anything you don't want."

His hesitance made me hesitate, as well. "I know you're not…" My voice trailed off.

Zale saw my unease and stepped in. "I enjoy being around you. Is that okay?"

My heart turned over in my chest. "It's very okay."

I felt like I could be myself around him. If that meant being my little self, it was okay. He knew that was part of me and didn't seem fazed by it at all.

I smiled up at him, then turned away and set paper plates on the tiny table between my living room and kitchen.

When the pizza came, Zale insisted on paying. That made the dinner feel more like a date. Which I didn't mind at all.

The pizza smelled so good I couldn't wait to dig in. I burned my tongue on the first bite and started swigging juice from my sippy cup while letting out tiny moans.

"All right?" Zale asked.

He didn't laugh at me, but his eyes softened. Maybe he wanted to laugh. Or maybe he wanted to take care of me. A boy could dream.

I nodded vigorously as I drained my cup. Zale got up without any prompting from me and got more juice from the fridge. He refilled my cup and handed it to me.

"Thank you." I took another sip, but the burn was already forgotten. Instead, I was noticing more and more details about Zale that I liked.

He had those sweet locks of dark hair that fell about his temples and brushed the tops of his cheeks when he bent his head forward. They curled ever so slightly at the ends. He was broad and tall, but he had babyish lips, a pink full bow, and those long legs went on forever. I loved the way his eyebrows, with a cut through the corner of the left one, gave him a smirky, Jason Momoa look.

If I couldn't have Zale, at least I could memorize him for my private fantasies.

"Pizza is my favorite veggie," I said, happily biting into my second, much cooler slice.

Zale laughed. "I would agree with that. Next time maybe we can get peppers and mushrooms."

"Sure. But no onions, please."

"Duly noted."

He had said ‘next time.' I couldn't help the way my pulse revved at those words. We were both on the same page about wanting to keep seeing each other.

After dinner, we played my favorite video game. Zale laughed a lot. When I first met him, he seemed like the type of guy who was pretty serious. I liked that he could relax with me.

When he got up to leave, he said, "Kendry, can I hug you goodbye?"

It was weird—and nice—that he asked. Not a kiss, but a hug.

"I'd like that."

"Fantastic."

He leaned down just as I lifted my hands. His arms went around my chest and he hugged me tight to his chest, all warm and smelling of fresh soap. As I reached up to put my wrists around his neck, he suddenly let go. I stepped back hard, almost losing my balance.

"Oops." He said, placing a hand on my shoulder to steady me.

"It was a good night." Despite the short hug. I could have hugged him for longer. Much longer. Minutes. Maybe hours.

He didn't seem ready, though, so I said nothing.

That night I lay in my bed hugging one of my stuffed bears on one side, and my alien on the other. I kept seeing his face appear against my closed eyelids and feeling that hug. Like a stirring squeeze right against the center of my heart.