Epilogue

Zale

My front yard was a rocky landscape, but my backyard had a square of lawn that needed mowing every so often. A light breeze transformed the summer day into paradise.

It was a beautiful Saturday.

I went out early, cleaned out Kendry's wading pool, using the old water on the fence line plants, and moved the pool off the grass to the concrete. Then, I refilled it with fresh water. I tossed in his mini-balls and a clear plastic tube. It would be waiting for him when he woke.

I did a few extra little chores. I waited until nine to turn on the mower. It was only polite.

As I was halfway finished cutting the lawn, the sliding glass door on the patio opened. Kendry stepped out in his hot pink, too-tight swim trunks.

And nothing else.

"Your pool's all fresh," I called out.

"Yay!"

"Did you get a donut from the counter?"

"Yes. I found them."

"How many did you eat?"

"One."

"Only one?"

"One and a half, maybe two."

I laughed.

The scent of fresh cut grass overloaded the air. I pushed my sweat-damp hair back and went on mowing, row by row, while keeping a side-eye on him.

Kendry walked over to his pool and stuck a toe in. He pulled it back fast, wrapping his arms around himself.

"It's cold!" he yelled.

"Come out here and mow in the direct sun. You'll heat up fast."

"That's a not-daddy job."

Right. It was.

After about a minute, Kendry had both feet in his pool and stood looking down at the water as if it might bite him. Cute as a button.

By the time I rounded the back end of the lawn, Kendry had lowered himself into the pool and was contentedly floating on the inflatable ring, batting around the mini-balls. There was a toy mini hoop attached to the pool edge, and he kept making baskets, one, two, three. Some of the balls had missed and rolled onto the patio, but most of them bounced back into the water so he could paddle up to them and keep playing.

I finished mowing and stored the mower. I brought out the wide sprinkler, set it in the middle, and turned it on. It made a wave of water, back and forth, managing to reach most of the lawn.

The air had a richness to it. Quiet and warm, yet full of summer. If I listened closely, I heard the buzzing of insects, and the high calls of birds.

I walked over to Kendry, who looked up at me, smile brighter than the sun.

"You should get in. The water's nice when you get used to it."

I sat in a chair and lazed my hand through the ripples beside his tube. It felt cool and good. But I was comfy in my chair. "If I want to get wet, I'll go stand under the sprinkler."

"Cool idea!"

"Maybe later."

Later, I did take off my shirt and, in only shorts, ran through the sprinkler a few times. Kendry came bouncing along behind me, screeching with laughter.

I turned and grabbed him, lifting him up in the air as the water poured over us like a light, cool rain. Wet, skin to skin, he clung to me like he'd always been there. And always would.

That night, he lay back on my chest, swinging his pajama-clad legs in the air as we read a book together. When we finished, I laid the book aside and rolled over, half on top of him.

He giggled for a second, then his face got serious, and his bright eyes locked with mine. His dark eyebrows were so slender they looked painted on. He was like my little doll, beautiful as he gazed up at me, blinking.

"What do you see when you look at me?" he asked.

"You look like a doll in my arms. My doll."

"A doll?"

"Your features are so pretty. You have naturally long, dark lashes and pink cheeks and lips. I think I want to play with you."

"Like a toy?"

"Well, um." I backtracked. I remembered Kendry telling me about his exes and them treating him like a thing, a toy. "Maybe I over spoke my thoughts."

"Why do you say that?"

"Being treated as a toy was what you didn't like with the others. I remember you telling me that."

"It's different with you." He bounced up and kissed my nose. "I'll be your toy any time."

I placed one hand on his waist and began to tickle him. "My little boy toy?" I asked.

He squirmed and giggled.

"I'll always be your little boy, right?"

I wasn't a real daddy. But I wasn't a not-daddy, either. I rested somewhere in between.

I belonged to Kendry. And he belonged to me. It was that simple.

I put my hand on the side of his face, cupping it gently. "Always."

THE END