Chapter 1

Kendry

"I'm sorry, Daddy Travis, but no." I crossed my arms and looked down at the terracotta tile floor.

"When, then, Kendry?" He nearly snarled.

"I don't know. But I was upfront when we met. No hanky panky until I'm ready. Maybe never."

"Then why are you always at The Red Door hanging out?"

"To play."

He snorted. "You don't do anything but color and whine."

Tears blurred my vision. Daddy Travis had known me all of two days. He had approached me as a daddy, but it was as if he knew nothing about littles. Or kink, for that matter. Not all kink included sex.

Everywhere, even at the club, the guys I met didn't seem to know that.

But where else other than a kink club could a little go to play?

"I think I need to leave." I tried not to sniffle.

Why was I so emotional? Daddy Travis was such a wrong fit from the beginning. I'd been desperate, though. He was the sixth Daddy I'd agreed to go home with in the past two years since I was of legal age, twenty-one, to get into The Red Door. None of them had worked out.

I began to question my kink, and if I even wanted a daddy anymore. The little part of me would never go away, but was anyone out there who could ever understand me, that my kink was not about hooking up, or even about submission even though I was a bottom? My kink was about the world I'd created for myself that I wanted to inhabit. And share, if the right guy came along.

But all the daddies I'd known had their own worlds. I didn't blame them. But they wanted to pull me into theirs and never the other way around.

I thought about my crayons and colored pencils. I loved to make pictures so much. I loved to blend the colors and see if I could come up with something new. Why couldn't blending include two people whose worlds fit together really well?

Daddy Travis marched to the kitchen table and started tossing all my art stuff into my pink Barbie bag. Then he threw it at me. Next, my favorite teddy bear, Clovis, came flying over my head. He landed in the middle of the pizza box left over, still gooey, from our dinner.

I didn't look up. I didn't retrieve Clovis. Through my tears, I comforted myself by thinking I could get another bear. Quietly, I picked up my other things and walked out the door.

All this was because of sex. Such a big deal for such a little word. Anxiety-inducing. A deal-breaker if you said, "No." Anger and lust went hand in hand in my world. I got the shakes thinking about it, my little self retreating into a corner with his thumb in his mouth.

Maybe I was doing everything wrong when it came to my kink. Maybe something really was wrong with me if I didn't want sex first thing in any of my short-lived relationships.

Maybe a daddy was not what I needed. Ever.