Lucy: Five Years Ago

LUCY

FIVE YEARS AGO

“I know the truth doesn’t matter,” I said. I was sitting at the empty bar, the sounds of laughter from the staff coming distantly from the kitchen. The restaurant had just opened, and the dining room was deserted. It was just me and Savvy.

She stood across from me on the other side of the bar, leaning her forearms against the counter. She was in a tank top that showed her tattoos—flowers on one arm, and Harley Quinn on the other. She had a thing for supervillains. No one ever mentions that. Maybe they think it’s not important.

She was beautiful—big, downturned eyes, and dark blond hair tied up in a messy bun. Her eye makeup was nearly always smudged. I was pretty sure she rarely remembered to take it off at night. She just touched it up the next day and called it good.

A guy once said to her, “You look like the fun kind of mess.” Rude, but not wrong.

I, on the other hand, was a mess and not even a little bit fun.

I had a bruise on my cheek. It was small. I could easily cover it with makeup, but I’d wanted Matt to see it and feel bad. He hadn’t. Instead, he pointedly held up his hand to show where I’d scratched him.

Savvy was right. It wouldn’t matter if I said I’d scratched him because I was defending myself. That he started it.

Well, no, he’d dispute that. Matt would say I started it, by screaming at him again. “Don’t start shit you can’t finish,” he’d always say.

“He said he’d tell my parents about me pushing him down the stairs if I went to stay with them,” I said.

“You didn’t push him down the stairs,” Savvy said.

I hadn’t, but I was fairly certain that Matt actually thought I had. He’d said the lie so many times he’d started to believe it himself.

Hell, I was starting to believe it. The (fake?) memory of me violently shoving him now plays next to the (true?) memory of me flailing out my arms in anger and of him tripping because he was drunk again.

“But the truth doesn’t matter,” she said again.

“I should have controlled my temper,” I said softly. I should have just cried. Taken the hits and crawled away to show my scars. I should have been a better victim. The truth doesn’t matter if you fight back.

“I have an idea.” Savvy leaned closer to me. She met my eyes. Her mouth was set in a hard line, her gaze steely and serious. “Let’s kill your husband.”