Chapter 13

Chapter Thirteen

Three days later, Roselia felt much better, physically at least. She still couldn't stand to be in a different room from Stefano, but her panic eased with each passing day, mostly because she ignored the fear every time it crept up.

They slept a lot. They spent a lot of hours in bed, too. When it got dark, they climbed into bed and stayed there. It was cold outside anyway. Even though Stefano kept the heat set high enough and the fire going during the day, she never wanted to climb out from under the covers in the morning. She liked being in his arms.

On the third night, they were under the covers so early neither of them was tired. She didn't mind. The snuggling calmed her. The way he held her, stroked her skin, and breathed against her neck made her feel safe.

Roselia was finally comfortable enough to feel like she might be able to talk about what she'd been through. She knew he had a million questions, and he'd been holding them back as a courtesy. "I know you're curious. Ask me anything."

"Are you sure, sweetheart? I don't want to trigger you or force you to talk about anything you're not ready to discuss."

"Eventually, I will tell you everything. It's just hard to say out loud, and I hate how it affects you."

"I'm sorry about that part. I want to avoid reacting so you don't feel like you have to hold back, but instinctively, I flinch every time. Forgive me."

"Always." She rolled over so she was facing him, inches separating them.

He drew in a slow breath. "The other night, you said it felt good to eat while sitting and using utensils and a plate. Talk to me about that."

She could do this, one question at a time. "Master J fed us bland meals—a lot of oatmeal and protein supplements. He wanted us healthy and in good shape, but he didn't want us to enjoy anything. He often put our food in a dog bowl and made us eat it without our hands."

Stefano's jaw clenched.

She continued. "After I was sold to Vanderbilt, he let me eat his leftovers after every meal. I ate better there, but always while cleaning the kitchen. I never sat on furniture in either home."

Stefano smoothed her hair back. "I'm so sorry. I don't want you to ever have food insecurity again. Whatever you want to eat, we'll get it."

She smiled. He worked so hard to right the wrongs.

"Tell me about the other women who were held by this Master J asshole. How many were there?"

"Six. I was the last to join the group. He worked me late into the night most nights because he said I needed to catch up so my training was as good as everyone else's. He named us all for poisonous flowers: Marigold, Oleander, Jasmine, Tulip, Daffodil, and then me, Lily."

"Did all of you have similar characteristics?"

"The characteristics that mattered to him, yes. We were all young. I assume they were also near my age. Slender. Youthful. Long hair. Flawless skin." She hesitated before adding, "Virgins."

His brows went up. "Virgins?"

She nodded. "It was a requirement."

Stefano licked his lips as though his mouth had gone dry. "How the fuck could he know?"

She clenched her teeth and lowered her gaze. Her mind went back to the first time she'd woken up in Master J's house. She started shaking.

Stefano rubbed her arm. "Tell me, sweetheart. If you're ready."

She closed her eyes and went back to that night. "I woke up when someone carried me from the car into his house. The lights were bright, and I squinted. My head was pounding. My mouth was very dry.

"Someone shoved a hood over my head, which made my panic worsen. I started screaming, kicking, and fighting the man holding me. Someone lifted the front of the hood, pried my teeth apart, and put a rubber ball in my mouth. I knew we were in a kitchen, and they placed me on the table, held me down, and cut my nightgown off."

Stefano stiffened but didn't say anything.

She let her mind go back to that horror and continued. She needed to talk about this shit and get it out of her. "I think there were five men in the room. Four of them held my arms and legs spread wide to the corners of the table. Master J introduced himself and calmly explained my plight. ‘It won't do you any good to struggle, Lily. Your new life starts now. The sooner you accept your fate, the better things will go for you.'" Her voice wobbled, but she tried to disassociate herself as though the story weren't about her. She even lowered her voice to imitate that piece of dog dung, Master J, and his trainers.

Stefano was breathing heavily as he stroked her arm again.

"‘Are you sure she's untouched?' he asked. ‘Confident. I've been watching her. Until recently, she lived with just her mother. Since her mother died, I've never seen her leave her apartment except to go to and from work. She's nerdy and shy.'"

"Jesus," Stefano breathed out as he threaded his hand in her hair.

"You want to know how they decided I was a virgin?" Her voice rose. She couldn't stop it. She was shaking with fury, too. "They held me down, waxed me between the legs, and then spread me open and examined me. All of them. Was it scientifically accurate? No, of course not, but that didn't matter. It was the humiliation that mattered."

Roselia was panting when she finished.

Stefano pulled her in tight against him and held her. He said nothing. What could he say?

She sobbed for a few minutes, her arms fisted at his chest, fury consuming her. When her sobs softened into sniffles, she drew in deep breaths. "He doesn't have me now," she said with vehemence. "He trained me to serve a Master, sold me to that asshole Vanderbilt, and now I've escaped."

"That's right, sweetheart. It's over." Stefano rocked her against him, smoothing her hair back over and over.

It felt good to be held with kind arms. When she leaned back, she forced a wan smile.

His brow was furrowed. "Why did they want to capture virgins? What difference did that make?"

Her eyes went wide. He didn't understand. "That's what Master J sold. Well-trained virgins."

His furrowed brows lifted on his head. "He sold your virginity to Vanderbilt?"

"Yes." She nodded.

"That piece of shit Leo Vanderbilt took your virginity?" His voice rose with each word. He looked like he might climb out of this bed, march to the man's house, and kill him with his bare hands.

Roselia grabbed his face. "No. Vanderbilt never touched me."

Stefano scared her when he sat upright. He turned on the lamp next to the bed. "Who touched you then?"

She frowned. She wasn't sure what he was asking, but she finally said, "I don't know how many men have touched me, Stefano. Dozens. A hundred. Too many to count."

His eyes went wide. "Vanderbilt set that up?"

She shook her head. She felt restless and frustrated. She tugged the covers back and climbed to the end of the bed. She needed to move. She needed to pace.

Stefano spun so he was sitting on the edge of the bed, spine rigid. "I'm sorry, Rose. I said I wouldn't pressure you, and I'm doing exactly that."

She rubbed her temples. "It's okay. Give me a second." She needed him to understand.

Stefano sat very still, bless him.

She spoke calmly when she found her voice. "Let me paint a picture of my daily life under Master J's roof."

Stefano was breathing heavily, but he didn't move.

It was easier not to look him in the eye while she spoke, so she paced, hands fisted at her sides. "We spent hours every day going through slave positions. He wanted our muscles to be strong enough to maintain those positions for long periods of time. We learned to tend bar so we could serve our Master after we were sold. We learned to cook. We cleaned. All of this under intense supervision. And always while naked.

"We were not permitted to talk to each other. I don't know any of the other girls' real names. I don't know their ages, where they came from, or how they got there. And all of that might have been sustainable, but Master J is a sadistic bastard. His trainers tormented us while we were holding those positions. They touched our nipples and…and…between our legs. They would force us to become aroused against our will and keep us on edge for hours."

Stefano's breath hitched, but he didn't interrupt.

"Sometimes, Master J had parties. I think they were intended to show us off to attract buyers. We weren't permitted to look anyone in the eyes. We kept our heads down. Sometimes, we were blindfolded. There were dozens of men in suits. Rich bastards, who drank too much, laughed at us, and touched us.

"Often, we were restrained with soft cuffs to make us more malleable so the men could stroke our skin. The trainers watched those men closely. They were forbidden from penetrating us. Master J spoke of females needing to learn restraint and control. He pounded that into us every day. ‘Control your slutty urges,' he would say. It was dehumanizing and degrading. His intention was to break us. Turn us into robots."

She stopped pacing, faced Stefano, and looked at him. Instead of the fury she expected to see in his eyes, she saw sadness. This was killing him.

"You ask how many men have touched me? I have no idea. It was vile and disgusting, and I lost count. But I was lucky. No one entered me. Not even with their fingers. I don't know why Vanderbilt bought me. It took me a few days before I decided he was impotent. He liked to watch me. He forced me to wear the most degrading maid's uniform every day. It was nothing more than a black-and-white lace corset that pushed up my breasts but left them bare and exposed. It reached down toward my private parts like an arrow but didn't cover my butt or my sex. He watched me for hours every day with great pleasure, but I never saw his cock hard."

Stefano's mouth opened. She'd shocked him.

She continued, "One of the few times he touched me happened within the first few hours of meeting him. As part of the slave demonstration, each of us was expected to kneel before our new Master and suck his cock to demonstrate our incredibly practiced skills with our mouths."

Stefano's chest expanded.

Roselia found herself smiling. "I was scared out of my mind. I'd never even seen a penis. I was also blindfolded at the time. But when I reached for Vanderbilt's belt, he stopped me. He set his hand on the back of my head, pressed my face into his groin, and held it there so firmly I thought I might suffocate. He was not hard. I didn't dare move. I heard the trainers questioning him, and he barked at them under his breath, saying that he was not going to be part of their demonstration."

"Jesus…"

Roselia sighed. "He touched me again when he put my collar on. Very rarely did my skin ever come in contact with his after that." She rubbed her neck. It still felt weird not wearing it. She'd touched her neck dozens of times every day, reminding herself it was gone.

"He struck you with his cane without touching you?"

She nodded. "He made me participate in my own discipline. He made me bend over, ask him to punish me for my transgressions, and hold my body in the position he required. Maybe he didn't want to touch me, or maybe he knew how much more humiliating it was for me to willingly lift my naked ass for him and ask him to cane me."

"Did you ever defy him, sweetheart?"

"I didn't even have to. He pretended I did anytime he wanted, and on those days, he simply struck me more times," she murmured. She lowered her gaze, unable to control the rush of emotion that flooded to the forefront. Now that she'd told him, he knew. He knew how ruined she was.

"Rose…"

"I'm so dirty, Stefano. I can't even wash it off. I can't get the visions of all those people touching me and laughing out of my head. It's like their hands are still on me. I shudder every time the memories flood back. I'm just so dirty." A sob followed her words. She was exhausted and embarrassed, but now he knew.

"Rose… Sweetheart… You are not dirty. What they did to you was unconscionable, but it was not your fault. Not even when you weren't physically restrained. You were a prisoner, sweetheart. Those men are disgusting, vile pieces of shit. All of them deserve to rot in hell for what they did to you and the rest of the women. I will find out every one of their names and make them pay, Rose."

She jerked, her eyes widening as she shook her head and looked at him. "No. You can't. Don't talk like that. I'd lose my mind if you went after them. They would kill you and then kill me for daring to escape. Please, Stefano. Please promise me you'll forget all this and leave it alone." She fisted her hands at her sides, but she was shaking violently, scared out of her mind.

Stefano sat with his mouth open as if to argue, but he finally closed it and reached out a hand. "I'm sorry, Rose. I shouldn't have said that. I didn't mean to upset you. Please let me hold you."

She stared at him for long seconds. "Tell me you won't leave me to go after those men." Tears ran down her cheeks. "I don't have anyone else. You're all I have in the world. You're the only person who cares about me or even knows I'm alive. I need you." She started sobbing again, and she dropped onto her knees, scared and nervous. The thought of losing him was more than she could bear.

Stefano rose from the bed and lowered to his knees in front of her, not touching her. "Rose, sweetheart, I'm right here. I won't leave you. I promise. You're not alone. You have me. I love you. I've loved you for a long time. You're not dirty. No matter how many people touched you, you're still my Roselia. I'm so sorry I couldn't find you faster, and I'm so grateful you were brave enough to get that phone and call me. I'm absurdly relieved no one penetrated you, but that doesn't mean you weren't violated. Rape doesn't have to include penetration. Your violation was just as degrading or perhaps worse. But you're so strong. You're going to survive this. I'm going to help you."

"Don't leave me," she begged. It was the only part she cared about. "Please, Stefano."

"I won't. I promise. You have my word." He held out his arms. "Please, sweetheart, let me hold you."

She crawled forward on her knees and threw herself into his arms.

He pulled her close, held her tight, and rocked her back and forth while she wore herself out with more tears until she was so exhausted that she hardly noticed him rising, carrying her to bed, and climbing in behind her to cradle her like he always did.