CHAPTER 19: AUGUST

_ THREE WEEKS WITHOUT HIM _

_ FAMILY FISHIN' TRADITION _

The smell of fresh baked cornbread wafts through the kitchen, mingling with the savory aroma of momma's famous cowboy stew simmering on the stove. I wipe the sweat from my brow as the screen door slaps shut behind me. My morning consisted of wrestling with the new boards on the side of the horse barn. Multiple boards needed repair at least a few years ago and it's never been dealt with ‘til now. Let's see a dang varmint get in the feed now – dang things. I sent a picture of the fixed boards to Patrick and he said he had to do the same thing just last week on his uncle's farm. Always something to be done.

[Kelly] "August, is that you?" Momma calls from the stove without turning around. She always has a sixth sense for knowing when one of her boys is nearby.

[August] "Yeah, it's me." I answer, grabbing a glass from the cupboard and filling it with cold water. "Just finished up with the barn." She sets her spoon down and turns, her eyes softening as they land on me.

[Kelly] "Good. Your grand-pappy's been lookin' for you." I down the glass in a few gulps and wipe my mouth.

[August] "What's he need? Is he hurt?" The man is in his mid-eighties and has the energy of someone twenty years younger, but the stubborn man will try to do more than he should and has injured himself once or twice. Her features offer no hint to my question.

[Kelly] "He's in the living room. Best go see him."

I set the glass down, trying to ignore the growing sense of unease in my gut. Another thing about Pappy Edward, he didn't often seek me out unless something was on his mind. And when something was on his mind, it was best to listen. I round the corner to the open living room, where Pappy Edward is sitting in his favorite armchair by the bay window.

[August] "Afternoon, Pappy." I say, leaning against the doorframe. He glances up from the tractor magazine he's reading.

[Pappy] "Afternoon, August. How's that barn coming along?" His accent is more of a gruff drawl, far thicker than mine; proof he never really left everything back in Texas when settling here more than fifty years ago.

[August] "Almost done. Just got a few more boards to take care of. Shouldn't take too long."

[Pappy] "Good, good." He tosses the magazine to the side table next to him and eyes me. "I reckon you can leave that for tomorrow." My brows draw together as I stand straight and cross my arms.

[August] "Tomorrow? Pappy, what are you goin' on about? I can't be puttin' things off; there's a whole list of things that need seein' to before the day's out." Pappy waves a hand dismissively, not hearing a word of it.

[Pappy] "That can all wait. You're takin' the afternoon off." I blink, not sure I'd heard him right.

[August] "What for?" He leans forward in his chair, fixin' me with a look that told me he isn't taking no for an answer.

[Pappy] "I'm fixin' to do some fly-fishin' and you're goin' with me. So go grab your gear before the fish start biting without us."

I stare at him, my mind racing with all the things still needing done.

[August] "Pappy, I can't just—"

[Pappy] "August, I'm not asking. I'm telling ya."

[August] "But—"

[Pappy] "No buts." His voice is stern but not mad. "Your brothers can handle things on the ranch for a few hours. You need this, boy. And so do I."

I open my mouth to argue, but the look in his eyes stops me. He isn't being stubborn – he's serious. And when Pappy got like this, there was no point in fighting him.

Momma appears in the doorway, wiping her hands on her apron.

[Kelly] "Your Pappy's right, August. Eli and the ranch-hands have everythin' under control. You need some time away."

My eyes shift between them. I knew they meant well, but it's hard to let go of the responsibilities weighing on my shoulders. As I look at Pappy, I'm reminded of something I try not to think about too often and a different kind of pang hits me—he isn't going to be around forever. Maybe I should take this opportunity while I still have it.

[August] "Alright." I sigh. "I'll get my gear." Pappy's face lights up.

[Pappy] "That's more like it. We'll have a fine time, you'll see."

With a nod, I head to the mudroom and grab my fly-fishing gear from the closet. The last time I went fishing had to've been around this time last year with Pappy and my dad; back before the weight of the ranch started settling on my shoulders – before dad passed. As I pull out my fishing rod and wading overalls, memories of the lazy afternoons at the river, the wise conversations with my elders, and the endless pockets full of jerky flood my mind. I glance at my dad's equipment and shake my head as I sigh.

[August] "Wish you were going fishin' with us, pops."

I make my way to the main door with my gear finding Pappy already waiting by the door with his gear and a lunch box packed my momma.

[Pappy] "Ready?"

[August] "As I'll ever be." I say, trying to match his enthusiasm.

Momma sets a kiss on my cheek as we head out the door.

[Kelly] "You boys have fun now."

I send her a grateful smile, feeling a bit lighter as we step outside to the afternoon sun. Pappy leads the way to his old truck, the one he's had since my diaper days. It still runs like a dream, a testament to the care he's taken with it over the years. They don't make ‘em like they used to.

The drive out to the far side of the property is quiet and comfortable, no words needed. We leave a trail as we navigate the old dusty, travelling through the familiar landscape of tall mountains, waving grasses, and the occasional stand of trees. This is home.

When we reach the river and Pappy parks under the shade of a large cottonwood tree. The river is as beautiful as I remember, its clear waters sparkling in the sunlight, the gentle sound of the current supplying a soothing melody to the stillness of the place.

[Pappy] "Just like old times, huh?" Pappy drawls, handing me a piece of his favorite beef jerky. I nod, a small smile tugging at the corners of my lips.

[August] "So many memories made here, that's for sure."

We spend the next few minutes setting up our rods, tying on the flies, and hopping in our wading overalls. Once we're set, we wade into the cool water, the current already starting to carry my troubles away.

[Pappy] "Remember what I taught you." Pappy says as he cast his line, the motion smooth from years of practice. "It's all in the wrist."

I follow his lead, letting the rhythm of the movements take over. Fly fishing is like a dance—a careful balance of timing, patience, and precision. And Pappy is a true master at it.

As we flick our lines in and out of the water watching fish jump in the distance, a memory from my childhood surfaces—one of me and my brothers riding our bikes down here, splashing in this very river, laughing and playing without a care in the world. We'd spend hours out here, getting water-logged, catching snakes and minnows. We didn't have a watch, but we always made sure to be home before supper – if our dad, Pappy, or momma had to get in the truck to find us, we knew for sure we'd be in big trouble. Those were the days when life was simple, when the only thing that mattered was catching the biggest fish or seeing who could make the biggest splash.

I glance at Pappy, who is focused on his line. Without thinking, I pull out my phone and snap a picture of us in our gear, side by side in the river with the sun shining bright. I send it to the family group chat, knowing momma would get a kick out of it, then I decide to send it to Patrick.

It didn't take him long to reply.

Patrick – Looks like you're having a grand time. Catch a lot of fish.

I smile at the message, warmth spreading through my chest. That stubborn man could use a day like this.

[Pappy] "Who's that you're texting?" He asks.

I hesitate then decide there is no point hiding it.

[August] "Someone I met in London."

"Ah." Pappy said with a knowing nod. "The Scotsman."

"How do you know about him, Pappy?" I ask as he chuckles lightly as his answer. Momma more than likely filled him in. A smile tugs at my lips. "He's a friend, Pappy. That is all."

[Pappy] " Mmmhmm …right." Is all he says and my smile grows beside him.

We settle into a comfortable silence after that, the only sounds being the gentle rustling of the leaves and the occasional splash as one of us shifts in the water. It's peaceful here, like all the worries and stresses of the ranch are no more. The world is just me, Pappy, and the river.

As the afternoon wore on, we managed to catch enough fish to fill the cooler. They aren't the biggest, but they're enough to feed everyone back at the ranch. Pappy grins like a kid on Christmas as he pulls in his last catch of the day.

[Pappy] "Would you look at that. We've got ourselves a feast!" He shouts, holding up the biggest fish of the day with pride in his eyes. I snap another picture and send it off to the family.

[August] "Heck yeah, Pappy!" I cheer and clap him on the back.

As the sun begins its slow descent toward the horizon, painting the sky in shades of orange and pink with a few clouds in the distance, Pappy and I sit in the grass on the riverbank and just watch the sun set over the hills. For a while, neither of us say anything, soaking in the beauty of the moment. But eventually, Pappy says it's time he put a voice to what is weighing on his mind.

[Pappy] "August." His voice is softer now. "I've been meanin' to talk to you about somethin'." I turn and give him my full attention, sensing the seriousness in his tone.

[August] "What is it, Pappy?"

He releases a deep sigh, his eyes fixed on the horizon. Soon enough he meets my stare, his eyes firm and restless.

[Pappy] "You've been workin' yourself too damn hard, boy. I see it, your momma sees it, too, clear as day. Your daddy would never have wanted that for you." A lump forms in my throat at the mention of my father.

[August] "I just… I just want to do right by him, by the ranch. There's so much to be done, and I feel like if I don't keep up, I'm lettin' everyone down." Pappy shakes his head.

[Pappy] "Your daddy was a hard worker, no doubt about that – the determined man took too much after me, that's for damn sure. But he knew when to take a break, thanks to your momma. He needed the same reminder that life wasn't all about ranch duties." His gaze moves to the horizon before continuing. "You know, in the eighty-three years I've been on this Earth, I've learned a lot, August. I've learned there's beauty in the world, that we ought to always have love in our hearts, and we need laughter to fulfill the happiness for our spirits. If you don't take time to experience those things, you're missing out on what life's really about."

I glance down at my hands, his words sinking in deeper than I can admit.

[August] "There's so much to do, and I feel like if I don't keep goin', everythin' will fall apart. The cattle could get sick and die, a wildfire could blow in and we're unprepared, the barn could collapse – feed prices are already on the rise, not to mention the price of fuel and materials for repairs – and just the thought of most our machines running on their last leg and in need of replacing is enough to bankrupt us. All the what-if's are weighing on me and it's becoming too much."

He turns to me then, his eyes full of a wisdom that only comes with age and experience. The scowl in his stare says I better listen.

[Pappy stern] "It's not going fall apart, August. We won't let that happen. You've got me, your momma, your brothers, the ranch-hands—we're all more than capable of pickin' up the slack. You're tough and smart, and the big ideas you have for this place will happen if they're meant to. But if you keep running yourself into the ground, you're going to break. That's not what your daddy would have wanted for you."

I don't want the man I've looked up to my entire life to watch as I crumble. My dad is gone and the weight from his shoulders transferred straight to me. He fuckin' left me with too much unknown knowledge about the business and how he made it seem so easy. I wake up every morning wishing he were here, that this was all just a horrible dream and I'll wake up and find him out riding the tractor. Another thing weighing on me is Pappy's cancer is in remission but we fear every day that it will return. His energy flags, sometimes out of nowhere, and he has to go lay down. I'm not ready to lose him, too.

A tear slips down my cheek, and I quickly wipe it away before Pappy could see. I'm getting choked up and need to take a beat to reel in my emotions.

[August] "I miss him, Pappy. I miss him so damn much . I can't run this place without him. If I was out there just a little sooner, his accident might've been prevented. I could've pulled him out, could've shut the machine down. I wasn't out there and It's all my fault he's gone."

[Pappy] "Don't you dare blame yourself for your father's death, August. It was an accident – simple as that. Accidents happen every day. Yeah, it's unfair he left us like that, but for you to say you were the one to kill him is absolute horseshit. I will not be havin' you keep that burden on your conscious a second longer. Get that through your thick skull right now. You did not kill your father."

Pappy sets a hand on my shoulder, his grip the reassuring comfort I needed.

[Pappy] "I know you miss him, son. We all do. But you need to remember that he's still with you in your head and your heart. And you have been runnin' this place even though he's not here. He'd be proud of the man you've become, August. So damn proud ."

I nod, unable to find the words to express the depth of everything going on inside me. But Pappy isn't finished.

[Pappy] "Boy." he speaks, his voice taking on a more serious tone. "I'm going to tell you somethin', and you've got to swear to keep it between us."

I look at him, surprised by the sudden shift in the conversation and worried he has bad news. I won't agree to it if it is bad – I just can't . But I tell him what he wants to hear.

[August] "I swear, Pappy."

He takes a deep breath, his eyes full of a mixture of sadness and pride.

[Pappy] "Your daddy… he had a favorite. Out of all his boys, you were the one he was most proud of. Not because you were the best at this or that, but because of who you are—your patience, your laughter, your kindness, your ability to see the good in people. He learned a lot from you, more than you'll ever know."

I felt my heart constrict in my chest; the weight of his words nearly overwhelming.

[August] "Pappy…"

[Pappy] "He'd be so damn proud of the man you've become." His voice fills with emotion. "And of the man you're yet to be. But you've got to take care of yourself, August. You've got to give yourself time to live, to experience the beauty and love that's out there waiting for you. That's what your daddy would've wanted."

I couldn't hold back the tears anymore, and I didn't try to. They flow freely down my cheeks as I sit there, absorbing the truth of Pappy's words. I've never seen this man cry, but when I look over at him, I see tears leaving his eyes. I've been so focused on the work, on the responsibilities, that I've forgotten to live. And in doing so, I've been missing out on so much.

Pappy's hand grips my shoulder.

[Pappy] "It's okay to let go, August. It's okay to trust that things will be alright, even if you're not working yourself to the bone every day. Life's too short."

[August] "Thanks, Pappy." My voice is barely above a whisper, but it's enough.

He smiles, his eyes filled with a deep love and understanding no one else would ever see expressed from this man And light a flip of a switch his mask falls back into place.

[Pappy] "Anytime, son. Now, let's head back before Momma starts wondering what's taking us so long."

We stand and gather our gear plus the cooler of fish. The sun was nearly set now, the sky awash in deep purples and blues, and the first stars shining high in the sky.

As we make our way back to the ranch, Pappy hums a tune under his breath, the same one he used to hum when I was a kid. Hey Good Lookin' by Hank Williams. I glance at him, feeling a surge of gratitude for the wisdom he's shared with me, for the reminder that life was about more than just work, and allowing me to release a burden I've carried with me for the last ten months.

And as we pull into the driveway, I take in the lights of the ranch house as they glow in the distance. I knew that things were going to be different from here on out. I'm going to find a way to balance the work with the living, to honor my father's memory by being the man he'd always believed I could be. Because Pappy's right—life is too damn short.

_ Three days later _

You know the day ended on a good note when it's time to head in for the night and the hardships of the day have been handled. Well, at least the major ones. The minor pickings can wait til tomorrow. See, I'm already working on that progress.

Our long-time ranch hand Wade stepped up as our temporary foreman when Don retired. He did a great job keeping things in line while I was away and now I can officially say I'm proud to have the man as my second in command. He's well-liked by the other ranchers and, as someone who has grown up with us boys, he's looked at as part of the family. Finding dedicated workers like him are far and few. We best do right by him to ensure he stays with us for a long while yet.

This is one of the first steps we've taken to take some of the pressure off me. Not gonna lie it's going to take some getting used to, but I'll get there.

Tomorrow I have a developer stopping by to help Schuster Ranch get more creative. No, I'm not selling any part of the ranch, my family would murder me if I did that; this is a good friend of the family stopping in to give insight on potential options. It's time we get things set up for the twenty-first century and give guests the full western experience their askin' for.

Yes, the cattle will always be part of the ranch, but we need to start coming up with other ways to keep this business afloat. I think horseback riding and roping lessons are a standard part of what we do already. We can have tent camping, RV hook-ups, and cabins. We can have fishing, games such as horseshoes and cornhole, guests can learn how to shoot a bow and arrow or trap shoot, and we can even get into snowshoeing and snowmobile riding during the winter.

Possibilities are endless, and who knows – if this idea doesn't work out, there are plenty of other options waiting to be explored.

Out of the shower, a black towel wrapped around my hips, and exhaustion setting in, I have one last thing I want to before closing my eyes for the night. It's almost eleven when my phone chimes on the nightstand, my heart skipping a beat at who it might be. I swear, if it's a ranch-hand saying they're getting arrested because they started a bar fight I'm going to be pissed. Or, could it him? Who am I kidding. Why would I get my hopes up? It's probably one of my brothers or a ranch-hand needing something.

But it's not, it's my Stud.

Patrick – Wilma says hello.

Attached is an image of a big brown snout filling my screen as the cow Wilma stands near a fence post, the first rays of dawn creeping in behind her.

I crack a smile. Patrick can be sweet without realizing he's doing it. It's good to see he's taking time away from the pub, even if it was more-so Lili kicking him out.

Me – Well, ain't she cute. Almost as pretty as you.

As I wait for his response I toss the towel on the floor and sit upright on the bed, my back resting against the wooden headboard.

Patrick – Nah, that's pish.

Me – Better send a pic so I can compare.

Really there is no comparison, I just wanna to see him.

Just when I thought he would protest, he sends an image. Patrick's head is side by side with the cow as she tries to lick him, an unfiltered smile on his handsome face. Damn, this man cracked a smile for me. I should play the lotto, I might just win something.

In the next beat my screen lights with a video call, sending my pulse sky rocketing. I put on my best charm as I answer.

[August] "Now there's a sight I love to see. Good mornin',stud."

Patrick shuffles the phone around as he walks.

[Patrick] "Hold on, let me go inside the barn to see ya better."