CHAPTER 15: AUGUST

_ When goodbyes hurt _

By five-thirty in the morning, I've showered, drank half a pot of coffee, and checked my messages. All were my family wishing me safe travels back home and how they can't wait to see me. My favorite one though is my brother Eli's.

Eli – Cori has something she wishes to tell you.

Under his message is a recording of the little five-year-old's voice.

[Cori] "Hi August! This is Cori. But you probably already knew that. How is your trip? I think I would have fun in London. Is the bridge still there? Because I'll be sad if it really did fall down." There's a pause and Eli whispers in the background.

[Eli whispering] "What else are you forgetting to tell him?"

[Cori] "Uhh, yeah! I miss you sooo, sooo much and – can you bring me home a hairy cow? I promise I will feed it, and brush it, and scoop up the poops. I promise, August! So, please can I have one? But I don't want it to be sad. – Oh! I know! We can get two hairy cows, and they will be best of friends! Like me and Mia! She's my best friend at school. We get to play all day then we have snack time. – Okay, Eli says I have to go to bed now. Bye August, I love you! [whispers] Don't forget my cows ."

I chuckle lightly enjoying Bug's random squirreliness and rambles. It's funny she thinks I can fit a highland cow on a plane to take back with me. For a five-year-old, she's smart as a whip and is working on her Uno game skills – and don't get me started on that sass of hers; she's got that down pat. That's alright, her four older brothers can handle it.

Cori knows I can't bring her the real thing, but I have plans to get the livestock on the farm. My contacts that breed highlands in the states and Canada are well-versed in the species and say they'll be a great addition to our ranch and climate. I just wanted to immerse myself in the culture and their homeland before making my decision.

Speaking of immersing myself in all things Scotland... I only have a few hours left with my Scotsman. Gotta make the most of it.

Sliding naked into bed, I decide to have a little fun before I get dressed and say goodbye to Wilma, Betty, and all the other animals. Patrick is asleep on his back as I shift to my side against him and sling an arm around his middle. His body is warm, and his cheek has sleep lines from his hand being set against his face. I kiss the indents and breathe in his spice and earthy scent.

[Patrick sleepily] "Ugh. It's too bloody early." He groans and ineffectively pushes my shoulder.

I grin, pressing and grinding my length against him, watching as a tent pops up in response. I've never had morning sex before, not until Patrick. He's made me insatiable wanting it all the time now.

One last time.

[August] "Just lay back. You won't have to do much of anything." I assure him, swinging a leg over his hips to straddle his waist, hearing him growl as he bucks his hips, our dicks lining up with nothing between us.

[Patrick] "Fuckin' hell." He scowls and digs his fingers into my forearms. "Fuuuck, that's good." There's fire in his eyes as he rotates his hips.

I trace the now bruised bite mark I left on his shoulder feeling a wave of satisfaction wash over me at the sight. My pulse races and my cock aches, needing to come, but wanting to make it last all the same. This might be our last time like this, but not if I can help it. I wonder how many quickies we can fit in now to the time I have to go. Maybe an airport bathroom goodbye BJ.

Hell yes, I'm down for that.

My mouth trails kisses and light bites across his skin making him squirm and groan. His scent, the sounds he makes, the way his body feels against me, I want to remember it all, I want it ingrained into me so deeply there is no way I'd forget him.

I take a dollop of lube then grab both our cocks, gripping us tight like I know he loves then I slide my hand up to our tips, cupping and squeezing them in my palm.

[August hums] "Mmmm." I hum, he rolls his hips in agreement.

His breathing turns ragged as I lave along his neck and collarbone with my lips, teeth, and tongue, savoring the flavor of my Scotsman.

My Scotsman. If only he were mine.

I pick up the pace, fist-fucking us faster, wanting more mornings like this, wanting every day to be as perfect as this moment.

Our gasps and grunts grow heavier, and more desperate as his hands rake across my body needing to be closer. My back stings from his nails and the feeling only turns me on that much more. His body shakes and tenses as he tries staving off his orgasm as long as he can.

[August] "Ah, Patrick – fuuck – I'm gonna –"

He forces my head down to meet his lips, his tongue invading my mouth and igniting a wildfire deep within my core. My hand pumps faster, the wildfire, now a blazing inferno, and I can't stop it, I don't wanna stop it. I release a cry in his mouth as I coat my hand and our stomachs in come. Patrick lets out a feral growl as his cock pulses in my hand, his body arching beneath me, his release joining mine and making a sticky mess between us.

As the last of my orgasm burns through me, I squeeze my eyes closed and breathe him in, savoring every last tendril of what we are, and how much this man has come to mean to me over such a short period of time.

I sag on top of him and plant a slow, lazy kiss to his lips then I roll off him to my side of the bed and kiss the scar on his forehead.

[August] "Good mornin', sunshine."

[Patrick] "Away, ya dafty!" He bellows, tuning his back to me and acting like he's going back to sleep. I laugh.

[August] "You're not going to clean up? You do know the shower here is bigger than yours. It'll fit the both of us. " I tease, hoping that would sway him. After a few seconds he turns and eyes me, a simmering glare there as he rakes over my naked form, and loving what he sees. His question is mischievously arousing.

[Patrick] "How many condoms do we have left?" I check the box.

[August] "Would you look at that. Two left."

His sleepy smile turns wicked as he stands and prowls to me.

[Patrick] "Perfect." He hums as he snatches one from the box in my hand and eyes me like I'm his favorite meal. "One fer ye, and one fer me." His tone turns into a menacing whisper. "I want to see what ye look like pinned against the shower wall as I fuck ye from behind. Would ye like that, cowboy?"

My cock is getting hard already just thinking about it. I lean in close and act like I'm about to kiss him but stop just before reaching his lips and croon my reply.

[August] "Bring it on, Scotsman."

_ Twelve P.M. _

The bustling noise of Edinburgh airport surrounds us as we flow through security with ease. My heart feels like a lead brick in my chest. We knew this day would arrive. We knew we'd have to say goodbye. But I never thought it be this hard to leave him. Five nights with this amazing man and my traitorous heart has done the one thing I told myself could not happen. The damned thing caught feelings. How do people go on living life like this? I swear my heart is breaking, and I can't do a fuckin' thing about it.

We make it to the departure gate, our time together ticking away with each passing second. T-minus forty-eight minutes until my flight leaves. The announcement of a flight to Denmark echoes through the terminal, a harsh reminder that my stolen moments with this grumpy Scotsman are about to end.

Patrick stands in front of me, his usual gruff appearance is overshadowed by the sheer sadness in his eyes. The man I met a week ago in his pub is but a flicker in my imagination. He's changed; I see right through his cloak, the way he hides from those around him. I've glimpsed the depth of his heart and it's clear no one has even come close to it. That must count for something. Right?

I know why I can't stay. I know why he can't leave. We have our own businesses, our families, our friends. Even though I've strategized every scenario I could think of to make this work – I fear it just isn't possible.

I try to keep my emotions in check, not wanting to make this any harder than it already is. It's a battle I fear I'm going to lose. I pull him in close and make what I have to say, count.

[August] "This week flew by way too fast. I'm going to miss the hell outta you, Patrick." He wraps his arms around my waist, his answer just as emotional as mine.

[Patrick] "Likewise, cowboy." His lips meet mine and it's raw, a mix of anger, longing, and tenderness. I can't be feeling this way. I'm going to crumble. I pull back and stare him dead in his eyes.

[August] "Our time together was wilder than any rodeo I've been to." I attempt a smile and fail miserably.

[Patrick] "I've never been to a rodeo. Sounds fun." The way he said it sparks hope there's a chance of him visiting me in Wyoming.

[August] "That just means I'll have to take you to one when you visit me." His frown deepens and a look of sadness washes over him. My heart is in my throat. "Don't say it." He sighs and stares at my boots. He can't even look me in the eye as he says it.

[Patrick] "This thing between us. I dinnae ken what will happen in time." He finally meets my eyes as I hold back getting choked up, he's on the brink as well. [emotional] "I want ye to know, my time spent with ye these past few days it has been the best moments of my life." A pitiful chuckle escapes him as he shakes his head. "And ye were right; I will never forget ye, August Schuster. Never ." I pull him into me and crash my lips to his, never wanting to let him go.

I'm pouring every ounce of my longing, my desperation, my love into this kiss. It's like I'm trying to memorize the feel of him, the taste of him, leave his scent on my clothing, so I can carry it with me back to Wyoming.

When we finally pull apart, we're breathless, our foreheads resting against each other.

[August] "I wish I didn't have to go." I confess, my voice trembling. Patrick cups my face in his hands, his thumbs brushing away the stray tears that escaped. Fuck. I haven't cried in a year. "You're ingrained in my head. There's no way I will ever forget you."

[Patrick] "The feeling is mutual." His sigh is heavy with remorse. "Maybe someday we will figure it out." I nod, though it feels like my heart is breaking into pieces.

[August] "We will." I say with bravado. "I have a rodeo to take you to." He smiles, though it's tinged with sadness.

[Patrick] "Aye, one day."

[August] "I'm gonna hold you to it, stud." I utter, holding onto his words like a lifeline. I step back and stare into his handsome blue eyes, unable to deny what I'm feeling. "If this is the last time we get to be together, I need you to know – My feelings for you started like a wildfire." C'mon August, you can tell him, quit being a chicken shit. I take a deep breath then release it hoping he won't run away screaming. "And I have fallen crazy in love with you, Patrick."

Those blue eyes of his close as he seems to drink in my confession. Releasing these words has sparked something within me. I'm revived. No one has infiltrated their way into my life, has made me want nothing more than to spend the rest of my days and nights with someone as much as Patrick has. His eyes blaze as his hands come around the back of my head. The intensity of his stare already has me longing, wishing things were somehow different.

[Patrick] "I should've resisted ye the moment ye walked into my pub." His admission has me paling as his lips graze my ear. "– but I'm so fucking glad I gave in because I would've missed out on falling in love with the most amazing man I've ever met."

My pulse beats like a drum as I crash my lips to his. It's wild and untamed, just like my Scotsman. And it hurts that much more knowing that I'm leaving and will not make it back here anytime soon. Years even.

How can we survive this?

My grip on the back of his shirt tightens as I press my forehead to his, not caring that my hat is about to fall off.

[August] " God . I love you, Patrick. So damn much ." I confess again while his emotions seep through the seams of his mask.

[Patrick] "I fucking love ya, August. [pause then grits teeth] Fuck . There is no way I'm forgetting ye. Yer right here." He points to his heart. "Ye made it beat again."

I'm about to crack and say, to hell with it , and not get on the plane, but an announcement of my flight now boarding echoes through the terminal, telling us the unspoken words that our time is up. It takes everything in me to not become a blubbering mess right here in front of hundreds of people. We share one last lingering kiss before I reluctantly pull away and pick up my bag.

[August] "Take care of yourself, Scotsman." My voice is thick with emotion, as is his.

[Patrick] "You too, cowboy." He replies, his eyes never leaving mine as I take a few steps backward toward the gate.

With one last look at the man who stole my heart, I turn and walk away, my heart feeling heavier with each step. If I glance back at him I know I won't get on this plane, and I can't do that to my family.

As I scan my ticket and make my way down the jet bridge, I can't help but replay every moment we'd shared – his stubbornness being a big one, the laughter, the late-night talks, the way he looked at me with fascination and annoyance. Most of all how his body felt against mine, and how he made me feel unimaginable things.

I'm going to miss the hell out of my Scotsman.

Finding my seat on the plane, I do a quick scroll through my song list and send one to Patrick. Now he can't forget about me. My mind conjures his hypothetical reaction of annoyance and it has me smiling. Powering off my phone I stare out the window, the tears I held back now spill over.

It wasn't fair we found each other only to be torn apart by distance.

As the plane taxies and lifts into the sky, I held onto the hope that this wasn't the end for us. I would see Patrick again. Somehow, someway, we will make this work.

All I know, it's going to be one long, chilly winter without this man in my bed to warm me up.