CHAPTER 12 - PATRICK

It's nearing half passed eleven as we arrive at Tally's. I scan the room noticing three tables with guests, and another having just sat down. It feels like it will be a busy day with tourists in the area. Mondays are my day off due to how slow they can be; however I trust Ian and the weekday staff can handle things, not that I live far if they need me. Seems they have Lili to help today should they need it.

Lili and I co-own Tally's pub here in the SOHO district of London; I had the dream and a small savings while Lili had the artistic vision and capital to make it happen. Within the last year of our three-year journey together, Lili has taken a step back to focus on her art career and the children's foundation she and Tamara created in Uni. I'm happy she's found her passion amongst the stars, her darkness quashed, and her heart now at peace. I, too, hope to make it there someday.

The speakers croon Bob Dylan's Mr. Tambourine Man as we take our seats at the end of the bar. A minute later Lili exits the kitchen, a plate in each hand, her smile bright when she spots us.

[Lili] "Here ya are, lads; two Shepherd's pies with chips. I'll have yer Guinness ready in two ticks."

She pours two pints of the dark stout, allowing it to settle before handing them over.

[August] "Now that's service." August says with a smile. "Thanks, Lili." I second the thanks.

[Lili] "Yer quite welcome. Good to see ye again, August." He tips his hat to her. She winks then steals a chip from my plate and pops it in her mouth.

We cheers, sip the dark ale, then tuck into our meal, August acting like he hasn't eaten in days.

[August] " Mmm . This is amazing ." August murmurs through his first bite, his eyes alighting with a familiar pleasure. "I'm gonna need this recipe for my momma." I smirk as Lili shakes her head.

[Lili] "Good luck with that, mate. He is'ne keen on sharing that secret. Trust me, many have tried and failed."

[August] " Is that so? " August's tone turns devious. "I may know a way to coax it out of him."

[Patrick] "We'll see about that, cowboy." I eye him as I take a bite and catch his silent challenge.

[Lili] "When ye said two orders I hoped it would be August with ye and not Gran." Lili says with a waggle of her brows. "A sexy sleepover, now this? What else is on that list of yers?"

[August teasing] " Oh, there are places to explore yet. " August glances my way. Lili notices and begins bouncing on her toes and clapping her hands excitedly.

[Lili] "Gah! I luv it! Whatever it is, I hope it involves my mate here." August does a chin lift my way as he asks.

[August] "You gonna tell her?"

[Lili] "Tell me what?"

I slid the paper bag with her Toffee pudding inside. She's unable to hide her surprise.

[Lili] "What's this?" She asks whilst peeking inside then her cheeky grin is back. " Ooooh . Is this a bribe, Mr. Shaw?" August chuckles and nudges my shoulder.

[August laughter] "She can see right through you, man." He's right, although anytime I stop at the café I always buy a sweet treat fer her.

[Patrick] "No, it's not a bribe." I pause and set my utensil down then glance at August before meeting Lili's knowing stare. "Does yer offer to boot me out of the Pub fer a bit still stand?"

[Lili thrilled] "Oh, my God! Yaldi! [yay]" She shouts, once again bouncing on her toes. "Does this mean yer finally takin' a holiday? Did August talk ye into it?"

[Patrick] "Aye." I say plainly although inside I'm just as excited as she is. "Gran, too."

[August] "Speaking of your Gran." August chimes in. "She's one lovely lady. I can see who you get your cleverness from."

[Lili] "I've learned from the best." Lili's grin is proud and playful. "I take that as a complement, cowboy." I grab my glass and bring it to my lips.

[Patrick] "Ye fergot to mention that Gran squeezed yer ass."

[August shocked] "You saw that?!"

We all cracked up in laughter, and it feels good. It makes me forget about the uncertainties and the looming deadline for just a little while. Once we're calm, Lili leaves us to check on the staff and help Ian in the back. As we take to finishing our meal August tells me about life on his ranch; how rewarding it is, and how stressful it's been since his dad's unexpected passing.

[Patrick] "I'm sorry to hear about yer father. It sounds like the two of ye were close."

[August] "Yeah, growing up he'd call me his shadow; I went everywhere with him. My dad taught me a lot about life. He had a firm hand and treated everyone as they treated him, and you never wanted to be in the crossfire when someone pissed him off." He chuckles to himself. "Pappy had to tell him more times than not to stop being so pig-headed about things."

[Patrick] "Ah, I see why ye've taken interest in me. Ye like the stubborn ones." I remark, acting nonchalant. He laughs, and I enjoy the sound every time he does it.

[August] "You might be onto somethin' there." He agrees then the mood shifts "As a teen I was rarely ever at parties or spending time with friends getting drunk because I knew I had to be up before dawn to start the day. Eddy's motto was [deeper fatherly voice] ‘the family and the ranch are equal. There isn't one without the other' ." His gaze turns pensive as he sifts through the silent memories. "Not gonna lie, I miss the stubborn bastard, but I hope wherever he is, I'm making him proud."

[Patrick] "That is a good motto to live by." I say, noticing his shoulders slump with untold tales of his past, and I sense not all were fraught with laughter. "To Eddy." I raise my half-full glass in his honor, August does the same.

[August] "To Eddy." We sip our ale and sit in a long-weighted silence then August speaks up, his tone taking on his usual cheerful mood. "This trip – this time with you, it's helped me see the joys in life again." I meet his stare a rush of foreign emotions slamming into me because I know what he's saying without having to say it, and I feel this connection between us growing stronger the more we spend together.

[Patrick] "Same, mate."

Lili checks in on us noticing our plates having not a crumb left on them.

[Lili] "Are we needing refills, lads?"

[August] "No thanks." August answers and I shake my head as I stack the plates. "Everything was delicious. I should probably head out and grab my bag. I'll be back in say, an hour or so." I nod, keeping my expression neutral all while my heart flips. Time apart will be good. It will help me realize I can't become attached.

[Patrick] "I'll be here."

He stands, but before leaving, he turns and leans into me.

[August] "Almost forgot something." Then his lips are on mine, his calloused hand pulling me in closer and all I want is more – more of him, more of this. What I really need is to fuck this man and get him out of my system. But God , he feels so good.

[Lili] "You two need time alone in the office?" Lili interrupts with a giggle.

We pull apart just far enough to stare at each other. What I find in his eyes should'ne be possible. There is more than lust there, more than what I want to admit. Or is it?

[Patrick] "How the devil are ye always this charming?" His smile is luminous as he replies with a drawl.

[August] "With you, it's the easiest full-time job I have." He pecks my lips one last time before backing away and raising a hand to wave. "I'll see you soon."

Before I know it he's rushing out the door. And all I know is I already miss him.

[Lili] "So, when will ye admit yer head over heels for that man?"

I scoff, trying to play it off.

[Patrick] "Fuck off, mate. It's only a casual shag. He's gone in a few days, and I'll be back to my life." She's not buying it fer a second as she arches a brow and scolds me,.

[Lili] "So, what? Ye'll be back after a few days then? That is not a holiday; ye need more time than that, mate. Yer about to keel over."

I sigh, knowing she would'ne let this go. And alas, she's right. Coming in here today I finally feel it; I feel depleted from the months of long days at the pub and sleepless nights keeping the beasts subdued. I've exhausted myself to the point I was unable to get myself off – and that is a big problem. It only adds to the frustration day after day then I'm snapping at customers or my staff. That is not what I stand fer, nor who I want to be. I need away from the crazy city life, from the nagging, whining people, from my pub life. I need Scotland air, the farm, the animals, the sunsets, my family. I need August, whatever time we have.

[Patrick] "My plan is to stay at the farm fer two weeks. I have'ta confirm with Auntie about the room arrangement first."

[Lili] "Good." She sighs. "Three weeks would be better, hell, take a month off if ye want." I scowl then it softens when her hand grips mine and she offers half a smile. " Ye need this, mate . Dinnae worry about the pub. Ian and I have things handled whilst yer gone." I sent her a grateful look.

[Patrick] "Thanks, mate. Appreciate ye."

She waves a hand dismissing me.

[Lili] "It's no trouble, and I'm grateful fer the time ye've allotted me to focus on my career. Ye deserve this." With that she smiles bright, the mood becoming lighter. "Now, tell me, how do you really feel about August?"

I take a deep breath and mull it over, the question hitting harder than I expected.

[Patrick] "I ken from the start that this would come to an end. There was always an expiration date fer us."

Her eyes soften as she rolls her wrist, wanting more details.

[Lili] "But?"

I study our conjoined hands, feeling a lump in my throat.

[Patrick] "It's nothing." I push thoughts of me and him away but the way she's staring me down says I better confess my truth to her. I heave a groan not wanting us to bicker, but I'm not one who shares much of anything with anyone – Lili on the other hand, is persistent and will poke me until I open up to her. "He's… not like any other man I've been with. He makes me feel strange – and I like it."

Lili smiles, her voice expressing what I will'ne admit to myself.

[Lili] "Ye deserve to be happy, Patrick. And if ye enjoy the way August makes ye feel, I'll be the first to tell ye from my own relationship with Alexander; what yer experiencing is special – it may not happen with anyone else."

I swallow hard as my thumb and forefinger rub circles in a repetitive motion on my free hand. The emotions threaten to choke me, and I fear it's too much. I dinnae like this feeling, I'm suffocating . I cannae stop it though. I'm going to burst from holding everything in.

[Inner anxiety] Visions of all that has happened within the past few days has my mind whirling – the football game where I met August – the nightclub where I danced with August –going back to my flat with August – August in my bed – August meeting Gran – August asking me to travel with him. August kissing me goodbye just now. August, August, August . He's all I think about, all I want, he's a new obsession here to torment me. [Insane laughter] Yeah, that's it, I've figured it out , it's all he is here to do; He will only say the right things, fuck my brains out, take anything he wants from me, make me fall fer him, then he'll leave me and all contact will cease. I'll be here alone, the sad little cunt who will wait by his mobile fer any sliver of acknowledgement from August. And August will go about his life like nothing ever happened. He'll say, Patrick who? Never met him . People will think me mental, they'll lock me away, keep me sedated – that's what the beasts truly want – they want full control – They want to take over –

THEY WILL NOT STOP UNTIL THEY HAVE FULL CONTROL OF ME!

[heavy breathing]

[calm] Marcus's voice breaks through the barrier, whispering fer me to breathe, just breathe . And so I do, and it helps.

I blink and I'm back in the present, Lili unaware of what happened to me just now. Seconds may have passed in this moment fer Lili, but fer me, it feels like an hour, sometimes a day, or maybe even five have gone by before I can snap out of it and regain myself. My therapist says it's PTSD related and can happen anytime if I'm triggered. All I ken is it fucking sucks, anxiety can fuck off, and my therapist's bums oot the windae. There, I said it.

I give Lili's hand a squeeze to insure I'm truly back. Her answering smile is all I need as confirmation that yes, I am, and after a few actual deep breaths the song, Beneath Your Beautiful filters to my ears, a song that speaks to the both of us. Our walls are built to be impenetrable; no one is gaining access to what we keep within. It's difficult to build a door, to open it even just a crack to allow someone to peep inside our interior walls. August though…he's rocked my foundation.

I gaze into Lili's eyes, they're full of power and strength, of love and encouragement, it's her silent plea, telling me it's okay, that no matter what happens, she is here, and we will concur the road ahead together.

[Patrick] "I dinnae ken what will happen after he leaves." I admit, unsure of anything right now. "I'm just living in the here and now."

She pats our clasped hands as her smile widens.

[Lili] "That's fair. Enjoy the journey, mate. Wherever it may lead."

I nod once, appreciating her words more than I can verbalize. Our bond is impenetrable, growing with each new experience life throws our way. I'd be one miserable cunt without her.

[Patrick] "Thank ye mate. Fer always being there."

Her eyes twinkle.

[Lili] "That's what mates are fer. Always here when ye need me."

She is who I feel most at home with; we speak the same language without having said a word aloud, communicating on a level no one can understand. It's always been us against the world, and when together it's like our inner child is free, we lift each other up to pursue our dreams, we sing in the same key, play the same notes, breathe when the other breathes like we're in perfect sync to the music of life. Most of all we heal each other and we love unconditionally. We are Soulmates.

I clear my throat and push back the swell of warm emotions, not wanting to be a weeping mess when August returns.

[Patrick] "Can we change the subject now? All this mushiness is giving me the boak." I mime being sick and she smacks my shoulder.

[Lili] "Yer incorrigible." She sighs dramatically and rolls her eyes then changes her tune with a tender smile. "Luv ya, Patrick." A gentle ease quells the lingering spell I was cast under, her words being just what I need to fully relax once more.

[Patrick] "Luv ya, too, Lili. Always ."

***

Two hours later August is back at the bar, freshly showered and changed, looking dapper and relaxed. With encouragement from Lili to have the best time together, we make our way upstairs to my flat to drop off his things and figure out what is next on our agenda. He set his hat on a hook as I placed his bags on the wooden stand next to the sofa. The man made it difficult not to head to his hotel with him. I mean, after that kiss downstairs – it had my thoughts all over the place. But it also left me wanting him that much more. I'm catching onto his wit.

[Patrick] It's a little after three. What would ye like to do? Is there anywhere in the city ye'd like to go?" I ask, realizing he's taking off his boots.

[August] "I think I wanna stay in, relax a little before our trip tomorrow." I move to the kitchen and open a cupboard.

[Patrick] "I like yer plan." Shifting two bottles to the side, I decided on Arran whisky, their Robert Burns single malt scotch. This bottle reminds me of summer in the tall grasses of Scotland, the clean air, and my auntie's honey apple tart she'd make. As Lili would say, it's sunshine and smiles in a bottle.

I pour a dram of whisky into two glasses, hand him one then lean my back against the counter and savor the flavor.

[August] "Is this your plan? Get me drunk so you can have your way with me?"

[Patrick] "Naw. In all honesty, I just enjoy the way whisky tastes on yer lips." He gives the light-yellow spirit a try, his hum of approval stirring an ache within me.

[August] " Mmmm . Whatever that is, it's good." Then he downs the remaining contents in one go.

[Patrick] "Someone's eager." I quip, eyeing him as I casually sip from my glass.

[August] "Can't help it." He says with a smirk. "I'm insatiable."

I watch him adjust the prominent bulge in his jeans and I have officially surpassed my breaking point. He inhales a sharp breath as I snap into action, forcing him against the living room wall and pinning his arms at his sides, my glass forgotten on the counter. My gaze travels down his body to the evidence in his trousers begging to be touched.

[Patrick] " Oh , is someone excited to see me?" I run my lips down his neck, nipping as I go. His breathy moans have me dizzy with lust.

[August breathy] "I can't seem to get you out of my head, I'm beginning to think I have a serious problem." I grab his jaw and force him to meet my eyes.

[Patrick commanding] "Maybe if I fuck ye harder that'll do the trick." My other hand rubs the hard length outside of his trousers, making him groan.

[August gravelly] "It'll only make me want you more."

[Patrick determined] "Let's test the theory. On yer knees, cowboy."

He drops to his knees in an instant, the sight of him staring up at me with that smirk of his has me dangerously hard. His hands run up and down my thighs, and he's just as eager to play.

[August] "What do you want, Patrick? I'm not giving in until you tell me."

I want to answer with everything, God, give me every-fucking-thing, please, but I maintain my composure.

[Patrick stern] "Get yer mouth around my cock. Make me spill down yer throat, August."

He dinnae hesitate, making quick work unbuttoning my trousers and sliding them down with my pants, then my length is in his hands. His beard stubble prickles along my shaft, the bite of pain sending the right kind of shockwaves through me making me growl.

[August] "Like that, do ya?"

I rock my hips as my answer. His touch is borderline infatuation and I'm wary of what my heart is whispering. I cannae get attached to this man, but it's becoming harder to resist.

[Patrick] "Get yer lips on me now, cowboy." He ignores my command and stares up at me while giving my cock lazy strokes, only licking the bead of pre-cum from the tip. Such a fucking tease he is . [Devious] "Ooh, so this is how ye want to play, is it?" His stare turns wicked.

[August] "It's full control you want, am I right?" He enquires and waits fer my confirmation then he stands so we're eye-level, his voice charging the energy in the air. "Then I want you to fuck me, Patrick. Show me what it's like to be owned by you."

I swear I saw my eyes flash in the reflection of his, that is how powerful it felt to hear him say those words. There is'ne a flicker of doubt in him. It's his way of begging fer me to take him, to own him, to do with as I please. August is unaware what he just signed up fer, and I'm going to make sure we enjoy every second.

[Patrick] "Better grab yer hat, cowboy. We're gonna need it."

[August] "It's like you read my mind." He drawls then backs away, grabbing the back collar of his shirt with one hand and rips his shirt off, showing off his perfect body chiseled by the intensive work on his ranch.

I dinnae waste time stripping off my clothing, too enthralled by the sight before me and all the visions swirling through my head of being balls deep inside him. He saunters away, slow and methodical, shaking his hips to his own beat. As soon as the hat is on his head, he whips around and eyes me with a hungry gaze then prowls his way back to me. I snatch the hat, remove my beanie, and replace it with the cowboy hat then I pull him, our faces close, lips a hair's breadth away from contact.

[Patrick] "In fer a wild ride, cowboy?" I ask as he flashes a devious grin, his accent sinful and smooth.

[August] "Only question is… the couch? Or the bed?" He asks and releases me to take off his jeans.

The second I say the word bed we rush there then I'm pulling him in for a bruising kiss. The taste of our wants and secret desires is so damn electrifying as our tongues tangle and hands explore. Our cocks are pressed together, hot and hard, and leaking pre-cum. I break the kiss, unable to wait any longer.

[Patrick] "Hands on the mattress and spread yer legs." I command and grab the lube and a condom from the bedside drawer. I open the packet and slide it along my length. As I said, I am past the point of waiting.

Coating my fingers in lube, I stand behind August, admiring his broad shoulders and tan lines, the ridges along his back, and that perfect ass with the branding on the side.

And here I thought I was the only crazy one.

I press against his body and hear his sharp inhale when the backside of my cock rest in his crease as I lean over him. I may have just scared him a little. Good. I love to keep him guessing.

[Patrick chuckle] "Yer not ready fer that, cowboy." I say, reaching around and taking his cock in my hand. He groans and drops his head down, watching as I jack him off. He's steel in my hand; my grip tight as I slide up and down in rhythmic strokes.

[August] "You keep doing that I'll come way too soon." He pleads.

I let go and back away, adding more lube to my fingers. August shakes his hips in anticipation of more. I begin at his balls, fondling and tugging lightly, then I run up his seam, teasing circles around his tight rim.

[August breathy] "You don't have to be gentle with me. Make it feel good ."

That last word came out in a moan as I plunge a finger inside, instantly adding another, scissoring his hole, watching as his mind and body completely submit to my touch.

[August] " Oh, fuuuck ." He's moaning and writhing, pushing against my hand. [breathy] "I'm ready – ahh-fuck – need your dick – please."

Mmmm. I have an idea, remembering the tall mirror in the corner of the room.

[Patrick] "Stand up." I remove my hand and hear his whimper at the loss. He complies and meets my gaze then glances down, admiring my length and making me glare. "Get in front of the mirror – I want to see yer reaction as I enter ye."

I grab the lube off the bed and turn to see August where I want him, the mirror reflecting a man built with confidence, his toned body on display, his eyes closed and hand gripping the head of his cock.

What a fucking sight.

I press my body against him, nipping at his shoulder, lathing kisses along his upper back and neck. His head rolls to the side and a moan escapes through his parted lips.

[August] "Enough of the teasing already. Get inside me." He glowers at me through the reflection and I give him a wicked smirk.

I position us just right , my chest to his back then rub the head of my cock against him.

He pushes against me, eager and impatient, and I almost want to make him wait a little longer. Almost.

I cannae fucking wait. I'm on edge and need to come.

The head of my cock eases into him, breaching the tight ring of muscles. His groan is animalistic as he greedily takes me inside – and it's so warm – so fucking tight. Two years is too long to not feel this type of pleasure. It's electrifying; sparking a foreign sensation – a newfound awakening deep inside my core.

[August breathy] "Take me, Patrick."

I take that as his way of giving himself to me, complete submission. I slam my cock in all the way, again and again . The sounds we're expelling turn feral, our grunts and fucks and gasps of air stoking the fire within me, my beasts howling with pent up desires. They rattle the bars inside my mind, they want out, they've paced inside their cage for too long craving this very thing. Control. They demand power, only I maintain control when I open the enclosure.

My eyes seem to darken in the mirror's reflection as I give a hard bite at his earlobe. I revel in the twist of his features. August's eyes are closed, lips parted, his head angled to show off his neck. I wrap a hand around his throat, slowing my pace and grinding into him as I growl into his ear.

[Patrick] " Look at ye, August, taking my cock so well. I love stretching ye so fucking wide." My hand squeezes just the slightest bit as I slam into him, and I delight at the sound of his sharp inhale.

[August tense] " Ahh . – You're so fuckin' thick. I wanna come, Patrick. Make me come." He says desperately, and my beasts howl with restlessness.

[Patrick] "Oh, I'll make ye come, but yer gonna ride me when ye do."

His eyes catch mine in the mirror.

[August] "Hell yeah. I've been waiting so patiently." He jokes then turns, my cock slipping free and weeping at the loss. He grabs his hat and transfers it to his head. "A cowboy can't ride without his trusty hat." Then his eyes blaze with desire as he smirks. "Save a horse ride a Scotsman. "

[Patrick] "Now that is a pick-up line." I jest remembering our first night together at Neon Envy. He chuckles as I lay back on the bed and drink him in.

August is full of charm and confidence as he stands at the end of the bed, hands on his hips, cock long and hard between his thighs.

So fucking sexy.

August positions himself atop me, our eyes connecting as he sinks down on my length and we groan in unison. My voice turns into a growl, a fire blazing hot and untamed within me and I shift my hips.

[Patrick] "That's right. Ride me, cowboy. Ride me so fucking hard. "

He finds his rhythm and I quickly match it as I run my hands up and down his thighs. The thing is – I need more, the beasts screaming to take over. So I do.

I grab his ass in both hands, pull him on top of me, and hold him in place as I jerk my hips hard and wild without remorse.

[August] "Ohh, fuuck yes!" August pants through gritted teeth, the sounds he emits sending shockwaves through me as I take what I want, topping from the bottom, and giving us what we've desperately needed.

He seems to want me as much as I crave him – as much as I want him, too. This cannae end, I cannae let this end. Then it means it's over, but Christ , this harmonious feeling is rushing through me in all its intensity.

I watch as he strokes his cock between us, it's not slow, he's chasing his peak, nearing the edge as his hand shuffles wildly, my balls tightening and the shockwaves strengthening at the sight.

I rock us harder, deeper, needing him closer. We are a frantic mess as he unravels every piece of me. I'm on a fever trip and fucking love it. August's words are clipped and his glassy eyes are on me as he cries out.

[August] "So close – [growl] – don't stop, Patrick."

[Patrick] "Fuuck, August." I rasp, about to explode. " Come with me ."

His hands grip my biceps, his fingers digging into me, the pain enough to make my vision go hazy. My orgasm rips through me making my body tense and jerk, and I succumb to the momentary peace it offers.

August sags on top of me, his breathing fast and laboured, and I can feel his release smearing between us.

It's intoxicating to have this man so close, to have sex with him in ways I've never felt with anyone else. He smells like sunshine and the sea and I'm lost in the way it tantalizes me. It's blissful and in a way, it feels like home.

August plants a kiss to my lips then grins a dopy little grin at me.

[August] "I wanna do that so many more times with you."

[Patrick] "We're going to need more lube." I protest, shaking the bottle in his line of sight.

[August] "Good thing I stopped at the store on my way here." His look is full of satisfaction. "We should be good to go – and then some." My tone is playful and snarky.

[Patrick] Well, look at ye, always thinking two steps ahead."

[August] "Just one of my best qualities." His tone is full of cheekiness and I can't help but crack a smile.

We clean up and venture back into bed, laughing and telling stories of our friends and family, and it just feels so easy to open up to him.

His affection is warm and comforting, and it sends me through a whirlwind of emotions. Happy to have him here, sad it's only fer a short while, feeling crazy fer him, anxious to see what is next, surprised at how quick things with him have fallen into place, stronger now that I've released some of the weight with his help, and scared when all this ends.

All of it, and more.

We're acting like teens, kissing and touching each other, exploring in ways I've never done. My pulse quickens from all the uncertainty, and all my heart is trying to make me realize.

[Patrick agonizing] "What are ye doing to me, August?" I tangle my fingers in his light brown hair, feeling an overwhelming swell of emotions bubble inside me.

[August certain] "I don't know." He gently tugs at my bottom lip and whispers. "But I love every second of it."

[Patrick] "I've never felt this level of intensity before." I admit, vulnerability lacing every word. "Us together like this is – intense." He stares into my eyes and I cannae get a read off him. Why did I have'ta open my gob? I could'ne leave well enough alone, could I?

[August] "I was just thinking the same thing." He confesses and I become lightheaded, dizzy with the weight of it all. He takes my hand and entwines our fingers. I squeeze

[Patrick] "Are we crazy fer feeling like this?

[August] "If this is what crazy feels like then I never want it to stop."

My lips turn up in an evil smear as roll on top of him and stare into those hazel eyes blazing with heat.

[Patrick] "So, let's make sure it doesn't stop." I reach into the side table and pull out a condom. [sly] "I'm feeling rather generous this time around, cowboy." I rip the packet open. "Ye get to choose which way I fuck ye this time." His cock stirs beneath me as he plays it cool.

[August sassy] "Mmmm. So many options – but which one to pick?" His fingers glide along his freshly shaven jaw as he thinks long and hard about it then his eyes glance to the corner of the room, his devious smirk stretching wider. "Not gonna lie, it was pretty fuckin' hot watching you, watch me in the reflection. I bet my come would look good splashed all over that mirror." His eyes shift back to mine, that fire within intensifying to new levels. "What do you say, Scotsman?"

I give a good crack of my knuckles and sense my beasts yipping with excitement. I give a hard proverbial yank of the leash, choking them into stunned submission, demanding they know who is in charge.

[Patrick] "

Remind me next time I see Tamara to thank her fer making me buy the mirror. It is quite useful after all.

_ Shaw Farms _

Parking the car, I exit, take in a deep breath of Scotland and close my eyes to savor it. Releasing the breath I held, I feel my entire body crack from having sat too long. Fucking hell. I cannae get over August saying he's traveled over seventeen hours across the country with only toilet and food breaks – and he said it was one way. Who does that? I would never survive it.

Opening the boot, we grab our things then I glance toward Shaw Farms main cottage. In my youth, this is the one place I always wanted to be; nothing better than being with the animals, the fresh air, the open pastures – all of it. It's home fer me.

Uncle Leland steps off the porch, a cast around his wrist and a sling supporting his arm.

[Leland] "Fiona! The boy is here!" He hollers to the house, my Aunt Fiona stepping onto the veranda. "Good to see ye, lad." He bellows, his voice full of his usual gruff affection. He pulls me in and I carefully clap him on the back.

[Patrick] "Aye, likewise. How're ye gettin' on?"

Uncle Leland huffs a grumble and shakes my shoulder.

[Leland] "Ugh. Yer auntie is doing my nut in – fussing over me like I'm a wee bairn. A right walloper, that woman."

[Aunt Fiona] "And I'll keep naggin' at ch'e until I make it through that thick skull of yers." Aunt Fiona stands at the door with her arms crossed as she scolds her husband. It doesn't seem like it, but they do love each other. Uncle is limited on what his doctor said he can do, so he has a lot of time to peck at his wife. "Awa' with yer havering, Leland. Let me see ye, Patrick, dear."

Uncle leans in and sighs.

[Leland] "Yer auntie has ears of a bat – Cannae get awa' with a damn thing."

[Fiona] "I heard that." She confirms. "Fer that I'm hiding all yer sweets – Ya wee crabbit."

[Leland] "I'll be going fer the messages then. – Two can play this game, woman."

Their banter is one of the things that always has me smiling and wishing I may one day experience with my future man.

[Leland] "And this must be August." My Uncle held out his hand. "Nice to meet ye, lad. Patrick mentioned ye own a ranch in the states; ye should feel right at home here."

[August] "Good to meet you." August responds with a smile as he shakes his hand and glances around the property. "I can't wait to check out your farm, Mr. Shaw." My Uncle grunts a laugh.

[Leland] "No need fer formalities, lad; Call me Leland, or Uncle if ya want, like Patrick." Uncle points to the clouds above as they begin to pelt us with raindrops. "Come inside. Ye can tell us all about yer travels."

We head inside the main cottage, Auntie immediately insisting we park our bums at the table. The familiar décor and warmth of the space brought out memories of seeking refuge here with maw after my father took his aggression out on us. No matter how late we'd arrive, Auntie would tell me those exact words then fix me an Irn-Bru and ice cream drink and see to mine and maw's wounds.

As the first taste of the bubblegum flavored fizzy drink and vanilla ice cream mixture hits my tongue I feel a weight being lifted from my shoulders. Nostalgia and fond memories of being here on the farm soothes the beasts and calms my mind.

I can breathe again now that I am here.

August is enjoying his fizzy concoction as we share details of our travels and time together. Auntie spotted my true intentions of visiting her and I dinnae deny it. August and I just smiled at one another and stated we were here to enjoy ourselves – she can take that however she may. From the looks of her smile and gleam in her eyes, I'd say she kens my meaning. I pray she keeps her stories about my youth to herself. August dinnae need to hear any of it.

Uncle Leland shares details of how he came at his injury – his horse somehow ended up spooked, bucking him off and bolting back to the barn. He has a torn rotator cuff and a broken wrist from the fall, leaving him unable to tend to his livestock and the daily details of the farm. He has other staff to take on the load but I find he's delighted to hear I'm staying fer a while to help out. It will help the both of us.

[Fiona] "August." Aunt Fiona starts in, her tone making my ears perk up. "Has Patrick told ye how he'd go about running around in his knickers pretending to be Braveheart?"

[Patrick] "Auntie!" I shout and feel my face redden. God , I'm horrified every time she tells this story.

[August laughter] "Ohh, I've gotta hear this one." August says through a laugh. "Please, tell me more."

[Patrick dread] "Don't encourage her. It's bloody humiliating."

[Fiona] "Ach, it was a sight." Auntie claps her hands together in delight, wholly ignoring my protests. "He'd have nothing but his knickers and wellies on, face be painted in blue, he'd be out there in the pasture with his stick sword shouting, ‘ Freeeeeedom! ' at the top of his lungs, not a care in the world who happened upon him." She laughs and watches me, pure joy and fondness in her eyes. "Patrick is a fan of the mighty William Wallace."

[Patrick agony] "Auntie. Why must ye do this to me?"

I pull my beanie over my face and groan, second guessing my decision to take my holiday here. [sigh] I walked right into that trap, and now August will be privy to all my secrets by the time he leaves.

Bloody hell. Why do I do this to myself?