Chapter 3

CHAPTER 3

" B el, can you give me a hand?" a woman asked, pointing toward a large crate by a carousel of fanciful creatures Bel had never seen before. Some of the horses had wings. He missed his wings. "I need help moving that."

Bel strode over and easily hefted the box. "Where do you want it?"

The woman goggled at him. "I only meant for you to help me. You didn't have to handle it alone." She tilted her head to indicate a spot by the red-and-white striped Big Top where other boxes sat. He added the box next to the pile.

"Thanks." The woman grinned.

A man called out, "Bel! Can you reach the top shelf on this wagon?"

Bel strode over and pulled down a box just out of the man's reach. His coworkers increasingly asked him to use his height and strength to carry boxes from a wagon to the separate rides and booths in the carnival. Having purpose made him feel less lonely and gave him minimal time to mourn the loss of his world and worry about his mission. The sun sank toward the horizon before he realized, and the roustabouts dispersed.

Though Bel's coworkers interacted freely and acted friendly, they gave him space. If, as Joe said, they'd all been through something similar, they truly understood.

"Quitting time!" a woman crowed.

Bel sat on an empty crate, staring up at the sky. A bird soared high overhead, bringing on a sense of profound loss. Would he have to live out the rest of his days without ever flying again, never knowing the wonder of wind under his wings?

Joe approached and clapped him on the back. "All right now? You look a bit sad."

Bel forced a smile. "I'm fine." If he repeated the lie often enough, maybe he'd convince himself.

"Come on. It's quitting time. The Carnival will open soon. What say we take some dinner back to our wagon?"

"I'd like that." As much as he appreciated his coworkers, Bel wasn't ready for their company during his off hours. He still had so much to process, and time in quiet allowed him to commune with his new host body, gleaning information.

Besides, he wasn't here to make friends. He was here to save the world.

Joe took Bel's hand after an evening meal of meat pies and ale. "Come. I want to show you the Carnival at night."

They left their wagon, Bel following even after Joe dropped his hand at the disapproving glower from a matron. This world seemed more primitive, with gas lights glittering overhead and steam power instead of electricity. Children lined up to ride the Carousel and other attractions, and young couples gathered in front of gaming booths.

A curiosity by day, the Carnival was awe-inspiring at night.

Lines formed at the food vendors' wagons, and the scents of popcorn and roasted peanuts filled the air. Bel and Joe stayed out of the way of the crowds but close enough to observe.

"Humans are such interesting creatures," Joe said, watching a young couple kiss. The crowd's excitement spilled over onto Bel until he realized that Kevin and his husband had never known this joy and had died before arriving. Once more, Bel felt guilt at surviving when someone else lost their life.

He kept watch but didn't see Errante. Surely the Tenebris should have been here by now. Hanging out with the roustabouts was all well and good, but somewhere out there, a destructive force waited for Bel to intercede.

Joe placed a comforting hand on Bel's shoulder. "All in good time, my friend. All in good time." Had he been privy to Bel's thoughts, or had Joe simply read the concern on Bel's face? The sun sank below the horizon, blue giving way to indigo and then darker still, lit by stars and a quarter moon.

The crowds moved slowly toward the exit until only the Carnival personnel remained.

Bel strode through the nearly silent Carnival. Only a short time ago, children had whooped, carousel music played, and folks crowded into the Big Top to watch the Gallier family cavort on trapezes, the closest thing to flying the Carnival seemed to have.

Something caught Bel's gaze at the edge of the thoroughfare. He wandered over and lifted a small, stuffed, purple dog, the exact color of Domus's morning mist. Once more, his heart ached with loss.

"That's a prize from the ring toss. You can keep that if you want," Joe said.

Bel turned the toy over in his hand. "Shouldn't I turn it in? Someone lost this and might look for it."

"You'll find that some things aren't actually lost at the Carnival; they're simply seeking their rightful owners." Joe put an arm around Bel's shoulders. "Come on. Let's go home."

Bel took the little dog with him. He'd come to Terra with nothing, not even the clothes he wore. This dog was the first possession he'd acquired here, something that actually belonged to him. Joe merely smiled when Bel held the toy close to his chest.

They hadn't gone far when groaning caught his attention. Was someone hurt? He charged toward the sound.

"Bel! Wait!" Joe ran after him.

They both came up short when an answering groan sounded. In the shadows of a tent, two men lay on the ground, rutting against each other.

Bel's body reacted as it had the first time he'd seen Joe nearly naked. He stopped, speechless, as the men devoured each other's mouths. One's shirt lay on the ground, leaving the man's chest on display. The sight of skin, of the other man cupping his cock through his pants, made Bel's own cock rise.

Joe's hand on Bel's shoulder guided him away. Bel's cock grew so hard he could hardly walk. They returned to the wagon, and each collapsed onto their beds.

"They were… They were…" Bel couldn't find the right words. "I need…"

"Pull down your trousers," Joe said, once more showing Bel what he meant, then took his own hard length in hand, slowly stroking, while reaching back with his other hand, cupping his balls. "Do what feels good."

Bel reached for Joe.

Joe shook his head. "I'm sorry, my friend, but my heart and body belong to another. I'll soon return to him and need to say honestly that I didn't stray. But I can share this and teach you the joys of your new body. Now, no thinking. Just feel or imagine those two men we saw."

Bel pictured the two men, recalled their impassioned noises, the urgency, and stroked his flesh faster. Instead of the faceless men, he envisioned himself and a smaller man with dark hair and eyes.

Tingling began low in his belly, and before he could catalog all the sensations, his mind shattered, muscles clenching, and warm droplets spewed onto his belly. "Ahhh…" Bel convulsed. Something tightly wound in his mind released.

He lay panting, his body more relaxed than it had been since arriving at the Carnival, and he rolled his head to the side. That was… That was… Whatever it was, Bel wanted to do it again.

Joe grinned at him, a pool of liquid on his belly. "That, my friend, was an orgasm, though they're so much better with someone you care about." He rose, wiped them each down with a cloth, and then he placed a chaste kiss on Bel's forehead. "May you find that person."

Wow. Bel felt tranquil, reveling in his orgasm. How much better would it have been if Joe actually touched him? Or if he had someone he truly wanted?

Domus intimacy blended two souls, wrapped them around each other. Would that happen with a human? There had never been anyone in his life he'd wanted more than temporarily, though Kevin's memories filled in the joys of sleeping in a lover's arms, waking to their smiling face every morning.

Bel lapsed into a relaxed sleep, wishing for someone to call his own.

He walked between realms, watching as others left Domus for Terra. So many bright souls winked out before reaching their destination. Then, a patch of darkness appeared, growing ever closer. The darkness took the shape of a man, more features filling in the closer he came until he stared at Bel— dark eyes, dark hair. "I will find you," the man said, relief in his voice. "Soon."

Bel bolted awake, alone except for a small purple dog. All of Joe's personal effects were missing, and he had neatly made his bed. Bel knew without asking that he wouldn't be back. He hadn't left a note, not that Bel could read it if he had.

Joe, another person who'd left Bel's life too abruptly. But he'd been there when needed.