Chapter 1

CHAPTER 1

B el Am'I nearly tumbled to the floor, thrown off-balance by the shudders rocking the entire building as he charged into the council's meeting room. He grabbed a nearby table, fanning both wings to keep upright. The tremors stopped abruptly.

"They're coming more regularly now." Bel couldn't keep the panic from his voice.

Council Leader Udeall turned, grave-faced, a being of white light shining more brightly than a junior council member like Bel managed. He released his hold on the window sill. "It won't be long now."

"You wanted to see me?" Why? To say goodbye?

"I have a task for you." Udeall's voice came out gravelly.

"Yes, Council Leader?" Bel glanced around the room. Where were the other council members?

"The experts say that Domus is dying because we are off-balance."

"I've heard them say that the darkness of the Tenebris needs the light of Luxes; otherwise, the Tenebris become destructive forces." Those stories filled Bel's head during his schooling. "So they were all banished."

"Yes, the most dangerous of creatures." Udeall nodded, wings rhythmically flapping the only outward sign of his agitation. "Many of our people have fled Domus for the Terran realm. The council must remain here to keep the portals open and save as many as we can."

This was old news, although no one had asked Bel to take part.

"It seems," Udeall continued, "that an undiscovered Tenebris fled through the portal and is now in Terra."

Prickles formed along Bel's frame. "A Tenebris?" Bel's mind reeled with stories about the destruction such a being caused. "Wouldn't the same thing happen there as here without a Lux to provide balance?"

"That could well be the case," Udeall answered, tone even more severe than usual.

Sudden chills settled over Bel as the reason for the summons sank in. "You know."

"I have for some time, Bel Am'I. You are a Lux, the only one known to exist on this plane. You must go to the Terran realm, find the Tenebris, and provide balance."

Breathing grew difficult, a lifetime of hiding coming undone. While Bel had not heard of Luxes being killed, it only stood to reason that if their counterparts were, they would be, too. "How did you find out?"

"Because I've been actively searching for a Lux since discovering the Tenebris. Imagine my surprise at finding one right under my nose."

"Can't a Magestra banish it?" Tenebris were dangerous creatures, capable of destroying entire cities, entire worlds, with a mere thought. To face one alone, without the ability to banish?

"Attempting to banish a Tenebris without proper protocols could well set off the catastrophe we wish to prevent." Udeall gave a sad smile. "You've been a good protégé. Now is the time for you to serve Domus."

"But how? I'm only a junior council member."

"You must find a way to bring balance."

That advice might prove worse than useless, but what could Bel say? "I will do all I can."

"Because of your rank in society, others of our kind of lower rank won't know you unless you choose to tell them. The same holds for the Tenebris."

"Then how can I find them?"

There were billions of lifeforms in Terra. How could Bel find the right one? Thousands of conversations about Domusians traveling to Terra flitted about in Bel's mind, though most information merely passed through as the chances for a junior council member being selected to go were slim.

"You are light. The Tenebris is darkness. You will gravitate towards each other. Now, you must go. We haven't much time left. Only your spirit makes the journey. You have three days to find and possess a human host body that's dying and beyond its own powers of healing or recently dead. The portal should deposit you near a good place to look. I'd hoped we'd have more time to prepare?—"

The floor beneath Bel Am'I's feet shimmied, followed by a roar that could only be from a dying world. Screeches came from outside the window, both from people and collapsing buildings. Bel grabbed the edge of the table, fighting to stay upright.

"Go! Now!" Udeall shouted, waving a shining portal into existence against one wall.

"But I can't?—"

"Yes, you can. You must. Our people in Terra depend on you."

The portal glittered like a rippling pool of water a few feet away, large enough for two people to walk through abreast but slowly shrinking. Bel took a deep breath, lifted his shaking hands, and pushed through the viscous fluid. Panic hit in earnest. How did the portal know where to go? What if Bel couldn't find a suitable body or landed in the wrong place? What if?—

Bel hung in nothingness for several moments, surrounded by stars—the place in between places. Other bright souls drifted by, some hurrying toward a destination, others winking out. The sight might've been beautiful had the situation not been horrifying.

Bel hurtled toward a shining region of space. Drowning. Bel was drowning, unable to gasp for air. Suddenly, the torture ended, and the portal spat Bel out onto hard ground.

Brightness struck, more dazzling than the most brilliant soul, and in colors other than the muted purples of the home realm. Scents and sounds came in fast succession: tainted air, people chattering in a language he didn't understand, noisy vehicles passing by, strident beeps.

Nothingness met Bel's gaze where their shining body should be.

Bel clenched what should have been fingers. Nothing happened. Bel had truly become a disembodied spirit. What had Udeall said before? Only three days to find a host body before all consciousness faded.

Failure was not an option.

Shapes passed by, some even going through Bel. Human? None looked to be dead or dying. How could one locate a host? If only there had been more time to prepare!

Two humans maneuvered a conveyance of some sort, one at each end. Bel hurried after them. On the conveyance lay another human, eyes closed. Was this human dead or dying?

As Bel hovered, an unseen force tugged downward toward the still figure. Wait! What? What was happening? Bel fought. The force tugged harder, pulling Bel into the human's body.

Deep, deep pain, both inside and out. How could anyone hurt so badly? Surely, this wasn't what life would be like as a human. A sudden, overwhelming desire to offer comfort came over Bel. Weren't Domusians able to heal human ailments?

Bel focused on what hurt most: the area inside the human's chest. No amount of searching revealed the problem.

"Who are you?" The voice sounded like it came from within Bel's mind. It spoke a human language, but Bel now understood.

"I am Bel Am'I from Domus. Are you the human who owns this body? What is your name?"

"K-Kevin. I'm not supposed to be alive."

The pain around the man's heart grew. What was a heart? Ah. A body part.

"I was supposed to die." The words sounded so dismal, sending a pulse of sorrow through Bel's consciousness.

"If you're alive, aren't you supposed to be?" Confusing, these humans.

"My h-husband died in the wreck. I want to be with him." Once more, a pulse of sheer longing came over Bel.

Husband? Wreck? Loss. Bel understood loss. "I can help heal your body if you wish." But Bel wasn't a healer, and any healing influence might not be enough. What Bel couldn't heal was Kevin's inner ache. Bel would heal this human, if possible, and then would find another body to inhabit. Seeing Kevin's mind, sharing space with this being, made Kevin too important for Bel to send to his death.

Bel set about trying to find the worst of the physical injuries.

"No. I want to go. Please let me go. I want to be with him." With those last words, the being called Kevin broke free, leaving Bel alone in the shell.

Wait! Come back! Pain! Indescribable physical pain. The conveyance stopped, and a person with a mostly covered face began beating on the body, chanting, "One and two and…"

Facts came to mind from some source Bel Am'I didn't recognize. Chest. Doctor. Heart. Chest expanding, taking in air.

"We've got a pulse," someone shouted.

What was a pulse? Was it a good thing? Bel evaluated the body. Blood wasn't supposed to be flowing loose inside, was it? What might have been the remnants of Kevin's consciousness said no. A quick focus of energy closed the injury. Another mended a broken bone. One after the other, Bel focused on repairing wrongs.

"This can't be right," the being identified as a doctor by something in his head said. "This man coded with broken bones and internal bleeding. It's like his body is healing itself. I've never seen anything like this."

Of course, Bel could heal. All Domus kind could, to an extent. But "he?" Kevin's body was a human male's. Bel was now in a male body and would be called by male words, like "he" and "him." The new concept might take some getting used to.

Male. Female. Nonbinary. Genders.

Flashes of insight filled Bel in about genders, ending with the mate Kevin had lost—a male like himself—his bondmate. No wonder Kevin had wanted to go. They'd cared for each other so deeply that Kevin couldn't imagine life alone.

Even with Kevin gone, the ache continued as Bel pictured bright eyes, pale hair, and a welcoming smile. Love? What was love? Although Kevin's spirit seemed to have fled, some of his essence must have remained.

Bel lay on a hard surface until hands… lifted them— him? —onto something softer. Beeps and blips sounded all around, along with murmuring voices. A sharp pain pierced Bel's hand before oblivion descended.

"—tests—"

"—keep him for study?—"

Unfamiliar voices nearby brought Bel back to consciousness.

Thoughts and words came to mind. "Hospital," "flatlined," "shouldn't be possible." A string of foreign memories came in flashes, informing Bel about this world, from a teacher who'd left, bequeathing both body and memories to an unknown force.

But tests and study? Bel couldn't stay. He had a mission. An unmated Tenebris wandered Terra, waiting for some signal to destroy this world.

Where should he go? What should he do? A clear image came to mind: lots of colorful structures. Tents. Carnival.

Had a carnival been Kevin's destination? Bel lay on the… bed. Accessing what remained of Kevin's memory provided additional names and concepts. Carnival. A place of entertainment. What was entertainment? Kevin's mind showed images of pink food, known as cotton candy, along with hot dogs and popcorn. There were people, not just walking, but flying—without wings! Would Bel be able to fly here, too?

He could see why Kevin wanted to go there. Bel looked down at the thin piece of fabric that covered little of him, barely held closed in the back. Others wore multiple items of clothing, some covered from their necks to their feet. He'd never worn coverings in Domus, but going without now made him feel exposed, vulnerable. Or perhaps that was his host body's opinion.

The people exited the room, leaving him alone.

The room shook. Bel's mind flashed to the piecemeal destruction of his realm. Pain and horror lashed through him. He writhed on the bed in agony. Udeall had just severed ties with this realm.

No one else could pass through. Any who'd remained behind would now die, along with their realm. Domus would be no more.

Something within Bel's chest ached for himself now, not Kevin's lost love. No going home ever again. He focused on breathing air into his lungs . The room stopped spinning, but no screams followed from outside his room. Had no one else felt the disturbance? Alerts sounded from the nearby monitors. Bel silenced them with a panicked thought, more by instinct than cognizance.

Then came a pressure in his skull. His skin seemed to burn, every inch of him in sheer anguish. A crushing weight held him down. Was this what passing into the great beyond felt like? For a moment, hope outweighed the pain. Would Bel reunite with loved ones like some said?

He curled more tightly into himself, willing the pain to subside, and tried to open his eyes to see beloved faces.

Excruciating agony seemed to go on forever, like being incinerated from the inside. Convulsions wracked him. How much could a human body take? Had Bel found a body only to lose it again?

The pain abruptly stopped.

Moisture leaked from Bel's skin and eyes, and he dug his fingernails into his palms as he lay there, gasping for air. People laughed and chatted outside the room, and machines beeped and hummed. Had whatever happened not alerted a… nurse?

The truth hit. He had experienced the death throes of a dying world. Domus had succumbed to the darkness. Home, where Bel had been so happy, no longer existed.

Pain lanced into him again, more agonizing than when the doctor delivered the heavy blows on his chest. Everything Bel had known and loved had gone. But he couldn't simply lie there and mourn. Udeall said the same could occur in this world unless Bel located the rogue Tenebris.

He studied the tube entering his body and the sensors affixed to his chest. A blip on a screen corresponded with his heartbeat . If he removed the monitors, sensors would alert someone. He willed the monitors to continue their steady thrum and tried several times to move his new fingers. Open, closed. Bel watched in fascination, and then he stroked one finger along his face .

After mastering how to move his fingers and hands, he removed the tube and the sensors, willing the monitors not to give him away. His heart rate continued to blip on the screen, even though the sensors now lay on the bed.

If he hoped to escape, he must dress like a normal human. Finger movement came easy. How about mobility? The more Bel willed his body to move, the more it defied his commands. He breathed deeply, searching through Kevin's thoughts. Almost on instinct, his body rose from the bed, wobbling a bit on two feet before balancing. Good!

Bel took several steps, stretching out his hands to catch himself if he fell. Some kind of muscle memory controlled body motions. Not overthinking seemed the best course of action.

Once sure he probably wouldn't fall, he searched the room. Nothing existed in the room that he could wear. Drawers yielded nothing, nor did the bathroom or closet. Bel slipped out the door, willing himself not to be noticed, and wandered from room to room, looking for suitable… What were they again? Clothes.

A man lay in a bed similar to the one Bel woke in, eyes closed, breathing deeply. Asleep. Bel said a silent apology and rummaged through cabinets and drawers to find what he needed.

Yes, clothes. Blue jeans. T-shirt. The words came to mind as Bel touched each item, as did the memory of how to put them on. No one wore clothing in Domus realm. Why would anyone cover the brightness of their souls?

Bel held up the shirt. One large hole, two smaller ones. How should he… oh! He stuck his head through the large hole and his arms through the smaller ones. So uncomfortable. What if the shirt's image was meant to go on the front of the shirt instead of the back? Bel removed the shirt, turned it around, and tried again. Ah, much more comfortable.

For a moment he missed the wings that would've made putting on the shirt impossible.

Now for the jeans. He'd seen some people on the street wearing jeans. Large part up, narrow parts down. His legs went down the narrow parts, but how? He raised one leg, lost his balance, and grabbed the wall for support.

Sitting on a chair made things easier, and he put both legs in at the same time but didn't get far with both legs in one hole. His second try worked. He stood, contemplating the strange metal things at the top of the jeans. Kevin's memories supplied the mechanics of the closure.

The clothes hung from Bel. The man on the bed appeared much larger in girth, although a little shorter. At least Bel now looked like everyone else, except for his bare feet. What clothes did humans wear on their feet? Shoes, but he didn't find any. Besides, shoes made lots of noise on the floor, while bare feet didn't.

He turned and nearly collapsed in fright to see another man so close. Wait! He'd seen that face before. The truth hit. This was the man he'd possessed. His subconscious supplied mirror. He'd been a radiant being the last time he'd seen his reflection, with wings of pure light. Now, Bel wore the body of a human male with coppery-colored hair, green eyes, a splash of tiny dots across his nose, and pale skin. Bel's new face. He ran his hand over the image, learning unfamiliar concepts like human eyes, nose, chin, teeth…

He opened the door a fraction, peeked out, and he swiftly retreated when a nurse passed by. The footsteps faded, and Bel looked again. No one. Good. He slunk down the hallway, staying close to the doors in case he needed to hide in another room.

Several minutes of creeping put him at a door marked "Exit." Kevin's abilities must be allowing Bel to read and understand. A sign stated, "Alarm will sound when the door is opened," though it took him several moments to make out the words. They wouldn't remain still. Not good, but he needed out. He pushed the bar on the door and braced for a claxon. All remained quiet. Was the door defective, or had he somehow silenced the alarm? Or, worse yet, was the alarm silent and even now sending this world's version of law enforcement running?

He wouldn't wait to find out. The door led to an open space outside of the building, with a few people gathered around tables. None seemed to notice him. A walkway led to the street. Bel rushed away from the hospital. Fortunately for him, he'd been on the ground floor since he no longer had wings to navigate vertical spaces.

No one paid him any attention. Right. He must look like everyone else, dressed as he was, though his gait shuffled occasionally as he got used to how humans walked. Everyone seemed to have somewhere to go, passing by him with scarcely a glance. They all wore coverings on their feet. Did Bel need to find some of those, because his feet hurt? His next footstep fell on something sharp. Bel hissed through his teeth and lifted the damaged foot so he could pull out a shiny piece of glass. He willed the injury closed.

A man slammed into him, nearly knocking Bel down. "Hey, buddy! Get out of the way," the man huffed, and then he muttered under his breath, "asshole should watch where he's going."

Asshole? Had Bel done something wrong? Where was he going? What would he do? Udeall hadn't given him any time to prepare and hadn't explained how to get along with humans. What if Bel couldn't find and stop the Tenebris and all the council members died for nothing?

Cheerful music and laughter came from somewhere nearby, bright happy sounds. Kevin's memories said Bel should go there.

The farther he traveled, the more people he saw, many heading in the same direction as him. A single sun dipped lower in the sky, pinks and purples showing on the horizon. There was indeed a carnival and a sign overhead that read, "Welcome Traveler." Traveler. Wasn't that what humans called those from Domus? Bel waited as others ahead went through the entrance, handing over paper— money —to an attendant.

Wait! Bel didn't have money. A being approached, radiant in his own way. Unlike Bel's stolen clothes, which were multicolored, the beautiful man wore all black and had a patient smile. His hair was as black as his clothing.

"Welcome, Traveler," the man said, emphasizing "Traveler." A miasma of color swirled in his eyes. "I am pleased your Path has led you here. I am Errante Ame, and this is the Carnival of Mysteries. You may call me Errante. Ticket, please."

"I don't have?—"

The beautiful man— Errante, winked. "Check your pocket."

Bel dug his hand into the jeans pocket and pulled out a piece of paper.

Errante took it from his fingers. "There's your ticket."

"I don't know why I'm here," Bel confessed. So much had happened in a few brief hours. He'd escaped Domus, found himself in the human realm, and possessed a body.

And Domus no longer existed. It was all too much, too fast to take in.

"That is perfectly understandable, friend. Many lost individuals find their way to the Carnival. But rest assured, you're right where you need to be."

The words shocked Bel. "I was told humans wouldn't know what I am unless I let them."

Errante watched Bel, an amused smile playing over his lips.

Bel tried to read his aura. Nothing. Could this Errante Ame be something other than human? Udeall hadn't mentioned others dwelling in this realm other than humans and refugees from Domus. Could Errante discern Bel Am'I's quarry if he saw through the subterfuge?

"Is the Tenebris here?" Could Bel be so lucky?

Errante's bright expression fell. "I am afraid not. However, he should join us shortly. Come. Stay with us for a time. What name are you called by?"

Something in his assessing gaze said Errante already knew. Should Bel go by his host's name, Kevin? No. Bel's name was all that remained of his previous life. "Bel Am'I," he replied.

"Welcome, Bellamy." Errante pronounced the name differently than Bel had, but perhaps in a way familiar to this world.

"Thank you, Errante."

"My profound condolences on the loss of Domus," Errante leaned in to say.

He knew ? The more Bel considered, the more he doubted Errante's humanity. Perhaps he, too, was a traveler. Suddenly, Bel felt much less alone.

"Come. Join me in my office."

Bel followed behind Errante, past flashing lights, laughing people, and tents of all colors and sizes. People rushed between buildings, all seemingly with somewhere to go. Bel and Errante finally climbed three steps and entered a silver building on wheels. A movable house? They certainly didn't have those in Domus.

Trailer.

Errante sat behind an expansive desk, gesturing to a chair on the other side. Bel sank onto the cushion, grateful to be off his aching feet.

"I thought I'd give you some time to adjust to this new world you've found yourself in. You appeared a bit… overwhelmed," Errante said.

"I am." Bel searched his surroundings, his head spinning with new concepts like desk, chair, cup, window—new to the Domusian in him and yet familiar to the body he now inhabited.

"The Tenebris is not due to arrive here for several days. Until then, avail yourself of my Carnival. Learn about your new home and your body. Be ready when you are needed."

Bel shot to his feet. "We've no time to waste. I'm on an urgent mission from my council, and the Tenebris left before me."

Once more, Errante gave an enigmatic smile. "Time moves differently here at the Carnival. I believe you'll find you're right where and when you need to be. If you're to fit into the Terran realm, you need time to learn to act like a Terran and adjust to your new circumstances. You must save yourself if you hope to save the world."