10. Tear

10

TEAR

A s Lucca leaves Quinn and me in Quinn’s rooms, unhinged from his powerful storm of rage, a terrible sensation whirls inside me. Deep within, I feel our trio’s magic become jangled, cacophonous as Lucca’s and Quinn’s powers war in our bond. Their magics are wound deeply into me in order to control my opening Dark Fae power and keep me safe; I feel an awful tearing sensation devour me now that the two of them are fighting. I set a hand to my heart, shuddering from head to heels.

Feeling like I’m being torn apart by their contentious energies.

“Ariana. Are you alright?” Quinn faces me now, finally returning from his previous deathly cold state as he ordered Lucca out. As he sees me clutch my heart, I feel deep worry move through him now, with his and Lucca’s odious display.

Not knowing how to answer that, I glance up as I frown. My hand is still at my heart; I feel as if they’ve actually wounded me with their heinous fight as my heart gives a strange, lurching throb and then another. It’s like the precursor to a heart attack, as I worry about the state of my heart and whether their warring energies inside me could actually do physical damage .

I look at Quinn—and have no idea what to say.

“Ariana? Tell me what’s wrong.” Though everything inside Quinn pulls to soothe me, he doesn’t yet. I feel how he still needs to be passionless right now, not trusting himself to unleash his emotions after that blazingly awful fight with Lucca.

Lest he accidentally do me damage.

“I don’t know, exactly.” I shake my head, trying to banish the tearing sensation inside me, though it won’t go. “It feels… like you and Lucca’s magics are tearing me apart.”

Quinn’s deep concern for me helps him thaw. He inhales a long breath to steady himself and is at last calm as he extends a hand towards my chest. “May I?”

“Sure.” I nod, understanding that he wants to search my power to find out what’s wrong.

Quinn moves to me and lets his fingertips touch my chest—then presses his entire palm to my breastbone. As he closes his eyes, I feel him spiral to a place deep within that is silent like the grave, with no distractions so he can clearly evaluate my magic. He sends a dark, smooth wind inside my veins as he does, trying to figure out what’s wrong with our trio’s bond and how it’s affecting me right now.

He finds the place inside me that’s tearing from Lucca’s and his contentiousness. I feel shock hit Quinn then; he had been so wrapped up in his own aims today that he didn’t feel it before—but he feels it now.

He understands Lucca and I have consummated our bond, strengthening it until a bright blaze fills my heart.

A replay of our lovemaking in the waterfall field flows to Quinn now, though I didn’t intend it; Quinn feels how Lucca’s and my hot sex and Fae revelry matured the bond between us this afternoon, far beyond anything that existed before.

Jealousy flares in Quinn then, as he finds out Lucca and I finally had sex. But part of his jealousy is that Lucca was with me—all of it done without him. Even as his possessiveness flares, however, Quinn spreads his magic wider, needing to know more to figure out what’s going on inside me. I feel him know that my new, deeper connection to Lucca comes with intense love for our Fae Prince.

In the same way I love Quinn.

As he finally understands what’s going on, I also feel Quinn know why our Revenant demonstration today was such a resounding success—even though he had been prepared for it to be far more difficult. It’s because Lucca has been pulled much deeper into our bond by what he and I shared today, and it made it far easier to raise the Music between us than ever before.

Amazement shocks Quinn now, however, as he sees my memory of Lucca’s Bloodsign being replaced by flowers from our trio’s bound might. As that happens, I feel him finally get to the deepest truth of why I feel like I’m being torn apart. It’s because I feel terrible that Lucca and Quinn are warring after the deep love I shared with my bound Fae Prince today, and Quinn these past few weeks.

Their bonds are matched inside me.

I love them equally and cannot choose a side.

A dark sadness devours my heart now as I discover the truth of what I’m feeling. As Quinn’s energy strokes that intense sadness now, a blaze rushes up within me and I gasp, feeling Lucca’s and Quinn’s energy fight once more, like rabid wolves inside my veins. They pull and heave against each other, as if both of them have one end of a piece of meat in their jaws, and I’m the meat.

It rips me apart with their equally formidable power—and equally close bonds to me.

“This is not good,” Quinn says at last as he pulls his hand away. I’m shuddering, my heart throbbing with a deep pain as he escorts me to the dinner table then pours me a wine, extending it. As I take it, he pours one for himself; lost in thought, he swirls his wine as I drink mine, needing it. At last, he sighs, setting his glass down and plucking mine from my hands, setting it upon the table.

“Forgive me.” Quinn holds my hands in his, warmer than before but still marble-chill from all the emotions he’s trying to process without letting them spill out all over me. “Lucca’s and my ancient warring is tearing you apart right now, and I don’t know how to stop it. He and I have very old wounds, Ariana… and I wish that bonding you had simply obliterated those differences, but it isn’t so. We must work through our wounds if we are to work together. I fear we must find a way… or watch our contentious power rip you apart, and fling you into even more unstable territory than you were in before.”

“Why did Lucca get so furious with you just now?” I ask, wondering what the hell is really going on here.

“You have to look at my machinations like a Fae, I’m afraid.” Quinn beckons me to have a seat, pulling out one of his high-backed ebony dining chairs for me. As I sit, he pushes it in like a gentleman, then goes to his place at the head of the table and sinks into the seat there.

Quinn’s still pensive, though, as he serves me chicken fettuccine and salad plus a smattering of cured antipasto. He’s gone so deeply within that by the time he serves his own plate, I have to prod him back to our conversation.

“Like a Fae?” I ask.

“Yes.” He nods as he takes a bite of fettuccine, chewing thoughtfully. His Vampire metabolism rarely needs much nourishment, but I notice Quinn’s loaded his plate tonight—as if his fight with Lucca, or our demonstration with the Revenant, has made him hungrier than usual. “Like Vampires, Fae are clannish and enjoy stability. They become suspicious of new developments and can react strongly to new information. That’s why their rumor-mill is so vastly effective in their society, spreading new hearsay and gossip like wildfire.”

“Gossip like someone having seen our Revenant demonstration, and understood Lucca was bonded to a Dark Fae and a Vampire with his magics.” I understand, though I still feel confusion about where all this is going.

As my heart gives another dangerous throb in my chest.

“Indeed.” Quinn stares out the windows, watching the night. “Saving your power from exploding in the middle of the city is one thing; Lucca fears that if his people found out how we bonded with our ritual, however, they would turn away and no longer follow him. Lucca did what he did out of love, Ariana, when he bonded with us; but after centuries of propaganda by his father against the Forbidden Lineages, many of his people do not share his love for Dark Fae and Vampires. Your Fae parents are unique in that they champion Dark Fae equality. Because many Fae don’t feel that way.”

“Lucca worries that if we expose our bond by doing a public Revenant demonstration before the Fae, his rebellion is lost.” I sip my wine, eating a few bites of fettuccine as well. My heart is finally settling from its previous tense beats. Relief fills me that at least Quinn’s energies have calmed inside me now.

Though Lucca’s still churn through me—hot and bright with wrath.

“Yes.” Quinn swirls his wine as he regards me. “For Lucca, that is far more important than messing with magics we do not fully understand. The Summer Fae King has put us in a tight spot, however, and Lucca has not thought it through yet. If we do not come up with some way to convince the King that we can get his people back to Rome, we lose our peace treaty. If that happens, you go back to being on the King’s hit list, and any Fae who associate with you would be put to death.”

“My parents.” A quick breath leaves me as I understand what Quinn’s getting at. Fear sweeps through me as I worry suddenly that King Bellari might get to my parents in the human world where they’ve hidden from him for decades.

And kill them .

“And possibly even Lucca,” Quinn says, as darkness churns inside him now. “Lucca is not the King’s only heir. King Archivolio Bellari has many bastards borne of other Fae noblewomen—if Lucca dies, one of his younger half-siblings would become Prince-heir. Like Emiliana once controlled me, King Bellari is not above placing others in harm’s way when Lucca is rash. When the headstrong prince is rebellious, people get hurt—and Lucca knows he is the only barrier between his father’s vicious madness and all the innocents who cannot tolerate Archivolio’s atrociousness as well as he can. Thus, Lucca stays as a barrier between the King and the others he might harm, damn him. Until his father beats someone else to death to make the populace turn on his brightest, most rebellious son.”

“ Beats someone else to death?” I stare at Quinn, horrified. I set my fork down, my appetite gone. “Who has King Bellari beaten to death before?”

“His wife,” Quinn says, regarding me with a dark sadness now, as if it is a tale he does not like to dwell on. “He beat Lucca’s mother to death for Lucca’s rebelliousness when we were just fourteen… and Lucca will take that scar with him to the grave.”

“My god.” I weep inside at this horrible secret Lucca has hidden for centuries. Hidden not just from everyone else, but from me also, as he’s never told me anything about his mother.

My heart gives another series of wretched, dangerous beats—aching for him.

“God has nothing to do with it,” Quinn says, closing his eyes as I feel Lucca’s ancient pain rise now through our bond, exposed by Quinn. “Lauria Massi Bellari tried to protect her son from Archivolio wailing on him with his magical whips of light. When she rushed in, his next lash severed an artery in her neck and not even palace healers could stop the flow of blood in time. Some say it was an accident; but I was there. I saw the rage in Archivolio’s eyes. Someone was going to die that day to prove his point about being disobeyed—and the magical lash he cast severed Lauria’s neck to the bone. He meant it for a child. That strike was meant for a boy , Ariana… it would have beheaded Lucca. Now Lucca carries the weight of her death, always.”

“My god.” I am horrified. Just when I thought King Archivolio Bellari couldn’t get any worse, I hear about this.

And hate him all over again—to my deepest, darkest fundament.

“Why was Lucca’s father so furious with him?” I ask now, knowing I need the full tale for Lucca’s sake, even though it’s agony to hear. My dark rainbows blossom through the room now, swirling as they mourn for Lucca.

“Lucca was found consorting with me.” Rage churns inside Quinn now as his darkfire energy matches mine, swirling through the dining area with furious flashes of crimson and gold flame. I feel how this is the deepest reason he hates the Summer Fae’s current King, though it’s not the only one. “I was the Summer Fae Prince at the time and could not be punished for whomever I spent time with. As my Darkwatch shadow, Lucca was supposed to be learning how to protect me, not fucking me. His father was head of the Darkwatch at the time and felt it prudent to teach Lucca a lesson. Nothing can stop Archivolio’s rage when it gets going, and he was determined to have grand-heirs by Lucca. Or dispose of the disappointment in his family line.”

“So what do we do?” I ask as I twist inside, my heart breaking for Lucca. “Because if we try a Revenant demonstration without Lucca, it could go disastrously wrong. If we don’t do it, we lose our treaty and I go back to being on the Fae’s Most Wanted. If we do the demonstration with Lucca, though… everyone will see our bond, including his father. And Lucca will lose his revolution and possibly his life.”

“A conundrum.” Quinn nods, finally bringing me in to the center of his plan. “I believe there’s a way to subvert it, though. You see, Archivolio is enchanted by power. He likes it, he likes having it, and he likes being aligned with it. If we demonstrate enough power, he will make note of it—and consider how currying our goodwill increases his own might. Even his son’s goodwill. ”

“King Bellari would think twice about hurting people to punish Lucca,” I say, blinking.

“Indeed.” Quinn’s true cunning comes out now as a hot whip of his old Summer Fae magic flashes inside him, blossoming in a wave of crimson and gold darkfire through the room. “King Bellari knows he still has Lucca under his thumb, because of Lucca’s love for his people and his guilt over his mother’s death. He knows Lucca returning Revenants could build his army, rather than just Lucca’s. For until we find a solution for Lucca’s situation, he will remain tethered to his father out of terror. Not terror for his own life, but terror for the innocent. Like I was to Emiliana.”

I think back to Lucca being made to stand by his father’s throne in disgrace in golden handcuffs, and hesitate. I know I have to ask my next question, though, as despair fills me.

Because I already know the answer.

“Does Lucca still take beatings from his father when he disobeys the King?”

“Lucca’s flesh heals well, and his father does not burn sigils into him like my Master once did, but yes.” Fury rises in Quinn now as he pins me with his wrathful gaze. “Whenever Archivolio gives him a choice to take punishment himself versus someone else taking it for him, however, Lucca does. Or did you think those golden manacles he wore a few weeks ago were merely pretty adornment?”

As I burn with love and awfulness for both Lucca and Quinn now, I feel Quinn’s dark energy flicker with a terrible fire for what he and Lucca endured over the years. Because they were the same; both trapped to people who dominated and hurt them, unable to escape because of how many innocents would suffer if they did.

Lucca and Quinn both bear deep wounds, not just from what they went through with each other, but from what they’ve gone through in life—wounds that make them cagey of love now. As I finally get it, a wave of grief moves through me.

My eyes burning with tears as everything inside me cries for them .

“Do not cry for us, Ariana.” Quinn leans in and clasps my hand. I feel him hold himself away from that precarious brink of emotion, because someone has to right now. “Help us fix it. Your magic has the power to expose the truth. Help us expose who King Bellari is—a power-obsessed, murderous tyrant like my Master once was. Let us pave the way for Lucca to be his own man—and to free his people from oppression.”

“How do we do that?” I brush my tears away now, focusing on the moment rather than the ancient past, and what we can do to solve this situation. “Any way we approach this demonstration, we’re fucked.”

“By pissing Lucca off and doing the demonstration anyway,” Quinn says, as subtle cunning rises in him now. I realize that Quinn’s plan is already in motion, by making Lucca furious this afternoon and causing him to storm out, though that was not his original intention. “Lucca will be at his father’s side as we do our showing for the King. If he does not take part in our demonstration thanks to his ire with me right now, my guess is our power will go wild. He will have to step in and steady it, and then the demonstration will be a success. King Bellari will know Lucca is instrumental in our trio’s achievements, and he therefore cannot kill his rebellious son or harm others to punish him, but will have to court Lucca’s alliance to stay on the throne. Lucca will have bargaining power at last with his father. And you damn well bet we’ll use it.”

“To get the Fae rumor-mill working in Lucca’s favor concerning our bond.” I understand, as the entire plan comes crashing home for me.

“And have the King himself endorse Lucca’s new bond to us.” Quinn nods. “We use the King’s own love of power to take him down. And get Lucca on that throne instead.”

As I stare at Quinn now, marveling at his Machiavellian plot, I feel a spark of hope light inside me. It lights in him, too, as he places himself in a position of trust now rather than dominance—trust that I’m behind him in this.

Quinn has to trust Lucca, too, though; not just the years of history between them, but his knowledge of Lucca’s deepest character, to pull this off. I understand that at his core, Lucca is not just a charming prince, but Prince Charming—always doing what’s right and noble, even when he hates it.

Quinn lifts his wineglass at me and I follow, clinking with him in a silent toast.

Our plan is good, even though Lucca is going to hate it.