13. Sage

CHAPTER 13

Sage

Inside were more of the strange lanterns, their light dimmer than the light in the stairwell, and narrow wooden doors. Lots of doors. There was a door every few paces and they went all the way to the end of the hall on both sides.

Grefin strode down the hall to another one that bisected the first where a group of five human men who looked to be older than me but younger than Grefin and all in identical black leather armor lounged in a small seating area. The area consisted of a couch, four chairs, and small table, and their conversation fell silent as every eye landed on me and their gazes turned appraising.

I fought not to hunch my shoulders at their attention. They were all bigger than me, taller and broader. Two of them weren't wearing vambraces and had their shirtsleeves rolled up, revealing strong forearms that suggested the rest of them was muscular and well-developed from the rigors of being in the Black Guard.

No wonder the Lord Commander thought I was a child. Compared to these men, I was.

Grefin gave them a tight nod but kept walking. He turned left at the intersection, followed that hall to the end, took another left then finally stopped at a door beside a set of stairs that didn't have a door blocking it off.

"The first bell rings the morning meal. Easiest way to explain how to get there: follow everyone else." He opened the door, revealing a small room with a shuttered window at the back, a narrow cot along the wall with a trunk at the cot's foot, and a washbasin on a small stand with a strange metal handle close to the door so you could kneel on the trunk and use the basin. "This is your room."

"I have my own room?"

"Yeah." Grefin rolled his eyes at me.

Oh, thank the Great Father. Relief flooded me. I wasn't going to have to keep my secret while bunking with dozens of men in one room. It had been too late to change my mind once I'd taken Sawyer's binding spell, but I was terrified at the idea of being so vulnerable and knew I'd always be on my guard.

"I'm sure it's not as fancy as you're used to," Grefin said, his voice dripped with sarcasm, "but we aren't a prison."

I shot him a dry look before I could stop myself and rubbed my wrist, still ever-so-slightly warm from the binding spell, then jerked my attention back to the room when I realized what I was doing.

"It's not a prison. This might not be the life you wanted, but it's not a punishment. Not everyone has enough to eat or a roof over his head like a noble. We work for it, but we get three meals, clean clothes, lessons in numbers and letters if we want it, a monthly stipend, and—" He stepped into the room and pressed his hand against a crystal embedded in the wall by the basin. Light flickered under his hand and grew brighter. "You get your own room."

"Why don't the people in the kingdoms know about this?" I asked, stepping into the room, staring at what could only be a magical fae light before turning my attention to the basin. There was something wrong with it. It looked like it was attached to the stand and it had a hole in the center.

"Some parts of the kingdom do know. Not all novices see themselves as sacrifices."

There was that idea again. It was similar to what Lord Quill had said, that some see it as an honor and a duty and were raised knowing they'd join the guard when they were old enough.

Grefin sighed and rolled his eyes at me. "That's a pump." He pumped the handle up and down a few times until water spilled into the basin and disappeared down the hole.

"What—?" I jerked back to avoid the inevitable puddle on the stone floor, making Grefin throw his head back and laugh.

"Man, I love you novices! You always do that. Every time." He picked up a stopper that had been sitting on the stand beside the pump and set it in the hole in the wash basin then pumped in more water, filling the bowl halfway. "This place was built with fae magic so there's a pipe attached the basin and pipes throughout the Tower. There's a lot of hard work here, but lugging water around isn't one of them."

"Next you're going to tell me you have indoor privies like the palace in Addur or the Gold Tower," I huffed, except I couldn't see a chamber pot. But that only meant if I had to relieve myself, I'd have to leave the building and hike across the bailey to wherever the privy was.

" And there's also a whole fae bathhouse in the cellar, with cleaning and healing pools. Any set of stairs in the barracks will take you to it." He gave me a pointed look. "You probably don't want to sleep covered in shadow blood. You only get clean sheets every two rotations."

I glanced down at the black blood covering my jerkin, shirtsleeves, and hands, and could feel it, sticky and itchy on my face and neck.

Grefin stepped out of the room and grabbed the doorlatch. "Don't forget where your room is and don't forget to stay in the great hall after the midday meal to be assessed with all the other novices. The stablemaster will expect you in the stables by the second bell. That means it'll ring twice after the first ring. The first bell is at dawn. If you don't waste time, you can bathe and eat your morning meal before the second bell."

He shut the door, leaving me in my tiny room. I stood there, listening to his footsteps get farther away, my mind whirling. Except I couldn't make myself focus.

I was in the Black Tower.

No one had yelled at me for being a girl and this was now my life for as long as I could keep my secret. Sawyer's life depended on me.

I really hoped he was all right, that he'd managed to get through the ring and was on his way to the boarder.

My gaze dipped to my hands and the black blood covering them.

I'd almost been killed.

Fear squeeze around my heart and my hands started to shake. If the Lord Commander and Grefin hadn't rescued me, I would have been torn to shreds like my clothes and rucksack.

I needed to get smarter and stronger. Fast.

I was going to survive the Gray. Whatever it took. And then I was going to get Sawyer's rightful title back. Even if Edred could escape the king's justice, he wouldn't escape mine, not for what he'd done to Sawyer and our mother.

I gritted my teeth, squared my shoulders, and reached to dip my hands into the water still in the basin.

Except I didn't have anything to dry myself with… and I no longer had a second shirt or pair of pants. Which meant I was going to have to venture down to the bathhouse if I wanted to wash up.

If the Tower's bathhouse was anything like the tales, there'd be towels and different soaps and all manner of beautiful, naked fae women wandering around.

Heat seared my cheeks.

I knew there wouldn't be naked fae woman tending the baths since this was the Black Tower and there were no women here — although maybe there were since Grefin had seemed so pleased to mention it — but without a doubt there would be naked men.

Lots of naked men.

And while I'd caught glimpses of a few naked men before, Edred had been strict to the point of severe punishment that my maidenhood remained intact. I'd fetch a better bride price if I was still a virgin and no one wanted to risk his ire, not even to give me a glimpse of my inevitable future.

Although what Edred didn't know, was that I wasn't a virgin anymore. I'd had an encounter with a boy I'd grown up with behind the stables when I'd become old enough for Edred to send me to my first arranged husband — before said husband had died and I'd been given to his son, who thankfully had been lost at sea before I could be sent to him. Edred had taken everything from me: my mother, my freedom, and my happiness, and I wasn't going to let him take my very first time with a man, too.

But it had been dark, neither of us had completely undressed, and it had been over shortly after if had started.

And really, if that was what sex was like, I was fine remaining chaste. Clearly the minstrels exaggerated it. It wasn't breathtaking and romantic, and since a woman married whomever her father told her to, there wouldn't ever be any professions of love for me.

I sucked in a steadying breath. Yes, the two fae men I'd seen had been shockingly beautiful and had captured my attention in ways it had never been captured before, but I could ignore them and the other fae here, even if they were fully naked.

And I wasn't going to think about what sex with them would be like?—

Nope. Not going to think about that at all.

Besides, I didn't have to stay long in the bathhouse and fight my embarrassment. I just needed to be there long enough to grab a couple of towels and hopefully a bar of soap and return to my room. Having the pump and basin was an unexpected, wonderful blessing. I hadn't known how I was going to bathe and keep my secret. I hadn't thought that far ahead. But now I could wash myself in my room and not have to worry about sneaking down to the baths in the middle of the night.

I might just be able to do this… at least long enough for Sawyer to get away.