25. Meera

"Breakfast was amazing as always." I stretch my back, feeling rejuvenated and energized after enjoying a hearty meal so early. My eyes fall on Kavian's plate, which is untouched.

"You're not hungry?"

Kavian stares into space, his foot tapping rhythmically on the ground.

"Kavian?" I walk over to him and reach out to touch his cheek. He jumps a little and turns his head away,

"Not now, Meera."

I can't help but frown. "What's the matter?"

"Nothing."

My heart skips a beat. "You're lying."

Kavian has never lied to me before. He is many things, but he's not a liar. At least, not when it comes to us.

He picks up his glass of wine and sips it. His face is clouded and his eyes are focused on something I can't see.

It's a bit early for him to be drinking…

I rest my hand on his. "I can tell that something's bothering you. What is it?"

"Meera, stop this incessant questioning." He absentmindedly puts down the glass and it tips over, spilling wine on the tablecloth.

A young demon servant rushes over and begins cleaning up the mess.

I give Kavian a pointed look.

He rolls his eyes and sighs dramatically as if dealing with a stubborn child. "Yes, something is on my mind. We have declared war against a powerful slave trader. Of course, that's going to weigh heavy on my mind."

Silence falls over the room and I start to feel uncomfortable, as if something's happening that I can't control.

There has to be more to this. He's never so…on edge. It's making me feel worried and I don't like that.

I walk back to my seat and we sit quietly for moments that drag on, neither making a move to break the silence.

I finally snap. My palm slams against the table. "Can you just talk to me?"

Kavian looks at me as if he doesn't know what I'm going on about.

"If things are worrying you so much, talk to me about them. Don't just brood and exclude me."

I know he's not human and he does things differently, but we've had a really open relationship so far. Is it going to change now? Of all times?

"There is nothing to talk about." He gives me a scalding look. "And I don't brood."

"Yeah, you totally do. You just did! While I won't deny that it's attractive, it makes me feel like there's this wall between us. Like you don't trust me anymore."

"If I didn't trust you, you wouldn't be privy to everything you know."

Another stupid answer that doesn't really answer my questions! Stubborn asshole.

With another exasperated sigh, he stands up and walks away.

I follow him. "Wait a minute. This conversation is not over. You've been very confident about your plans to take down Gorran. Why are you suddenly so concerned?"

I pull on his hand and he stops to look at me.

I try not to sound too annoying but just can't help but want to plead with him. "What's changed?"

He looks into my eyes, his own glowing with an unfamiliar emotion. His eyes then slowly trail over my face as if he's trying to commit it to memory.

"So much has changed…" he says, his voice barely audible.

"Kavian, what is going on?" My voice comes out higher than I intended and I clear my throat. "Please, talk to me."

He turns away and walks to his private study. "There is nothing wrong. Now leave me be, I must go over the details of my plans."

What kind of shit is this? We've been planning our strategies together from the start. Why does he want to do this alone all of a sudden?

I walk behind him and enter his study as well, determined to continue our discussion. He doesn't even seem to notice as he sits down at his table and starts to study parchments of paper.

I grab the paper from his hands and throw it on the table. "Tell me what the fuck is going on right now!"

Anger washes over his face and for a second I regret my rash actions. Then he takes a deep breath and his face becomes stoic once more.

"Nothing is going on. Stop being a child, Meera."

"I'm being a child? You're the one who is clearly upset and worried about something but won't tell me what it is! And don't give me any more vague answers!"

I grab his hand. "Don't you believe in me anymore? After everything we've been through, why are you suddenly pulling away from me?"

My heart races and I slowly let go of his hand. "Did I do something wrong? Did I… somehow disappoint you?"

Kavian's expression changes to one of regret. He quickly reaches out and cups my cheek with his hand. "No, no, no. You did nothing wrong. I…"

He lets out a heavy sigh and gestures for me to take a seat across from his table.

I sit down, not once breaking eye contact with him.

It must be bad, he never acts this melodramatically.

For a moment, Kavian simply stares at me. Then he takes a deep breath and folds his hands on the table, his fingers interlaced.

He looks down at his table for a brief second before looking up at me.

"Things are worse than I initially let you believe."

"How bad?"

"Bad enough to give me a restless night."

I nod slowly. That must mean he received news from Vex he wasn't expecting.

"The slaves we freed were recaptured," Kavian continues. "Gorran now knows who was behind everything."

Kavian"s jaw clenches and he looks away, staring into space.

I chew on my lower lip, letting his words sink in. "So our attack on the auction house can be traced back to you? Gorran will surely seek retaliation."

He looks back at me and nods. "He will most definitely want to face me personally and make me pay."

He goes quiet again but speaks just as I'm about to ask what his defensive plan is.

"You're going to leave here first thing tomorrow. You'll be taken to my coastal Zillinthas estate before Gorran"s attack."

I jump up from my chair. "You can't be serious!"

"I've never been more serious about anything before."

The blood leaves my face and I can feel my stomach sink into my feet. "There is absolutely no way I'm leaving at a time like this. Not when we know Gorran could be on his way this very minute!"

I walk around the table and stand next to him, pinning him down with a resolute stare. "My place is at your side. I've been at your side since the beginning and that's where I want to be until the very end!"

Kavian looks away again. He doesn't say anything.

"I have to stay and fight alongside you. That was the plan from the start. It's what we agreed on! Don't go back on your word now!"

Suddenly, Kavian stands, his fist slamming down on the table hard enough to make it shake and slightly crack. "I only want you to be safe!"

"I will be safe when I'm with you! I know that. It's where I'll be the safest!"

I grab Kavian by his shirt, knowing full well that I'll piss him off even more.

That's fine. Get mad at me, yell at me, be angry. Just don't push me away and face this on your own!

His face remains expressionless but I can see a shimmer of pain and desperation in his eyes. Taken by surprise, I let go of him and he sits down again, clearly agitated.

My voice is soft when I speak again. "Please… I want to stay with you. Until the end."

"Gorran is out for revenge and he is aching to kill us both. I cannot let that happen."

My lower lip trembles as I search for the words to make Kavian change his mind.

He pulls me into his lap and I fall against his chest. Soft sobs of frustration escape me and I cling to him while he holds me tightly.

He wants to protect me, even if that means sending me away. I get that, but it's not fair… I don't want to leave him.

For a while, we don't say anything, simply holding each other, wordlessly expressing how we feel.

"You saved me from a life of certain misery. I owe you my life. But now… you want me to leave you at the most crucial moment of a fight we started together."

I look up into his eyes and see nothing but his love for me. It's in stark contrast with the dark, dangerous look usually on his face.

My heart swells with happiness that someone like him could love me so much but also breaks with the knowledge that I'd be away from him when he meets his biggest foe.

"We will see each other again, I swear. I won't keep you waiting long."

Kavian's words seem to directly address every fear I have. The way he holds me is at odds with his words, though, because it feels like he's trying to discreetly say goodbye.

With a heavy heart, I stand up and return to the chair across from his table. "I will go."

I can't believe I'm agreeing to this! I want to stay!

Kavian walks over to me and pulls me to my feet. "Meera… it's only because I want to keep you safe. I dragged you into this and it's my duty to ensure that you remain unharmed."

I nod and do my best to blink back the tears threatening to stream out of my eyes.

"I hate that you want to do it this way, but I understand. I'll do what makes the coming battle easier for you."

"Thank you, Meera."

He embraces me tightly, as if for the last time. I wrap my arms around him and hold him close, our hearts beating in rhythm.

"I love you, Kavian."