Chapter Thirty-Two

Nicole opened the door to the police station and nearly bumped into Joel Breda.

“Oh, hey.” She held the door for him as he stepped outside. “Long time no see. What are you up to?”

“Not much. It’s been a while.”

“It has.”

Joel wore an LBPD golf shirt and jeans, and she couldn’t remember the last time she’d seen him here at the station house. He’d been consumed with the task force for months.

She shielded her eyes from the sun as she looked up at him. Like his brothers, Joel had an athletic build and those swoony blue eyes. But he had a quieter, more serious way about him, maybe because he was the oldest.

“How’s the baby?” Nicole asked.

He smiled. “Good. Real good. She’s sleeping through the night now.”

“Well, that’s awesome.”

Joel looked over her shoulder, and something in his expression made Nicole turn around.

Miranda was crossing the parking lot with little Janie in one of those strap-on baby carriers.

Nicole gasped. “Oh my gosh, there she is! Look at her.”

Janie’s pudgy arms stuck out, and she wore a little pink cap to protect her head from the sun.

“Sorry I’m late,” Miranda said. “We had a slight mishap with the car seat, but it’s all good now.”

“What’s wrong with the car seat?” Joel asked, frowning as he stepped forward to help Miranda unhook the carrier.

“I couldn’t get the latch to work when I switched cars. No biggie.” She leaned up and kissed him. “I got it fixed.”

Joel hooked the straps over his shoulders and kissed Janie on the head as Miranda smiled at both of them. Then she turned to Nicole.

“Hey, Nicole. How’s it going?”

“Great,” she said, nodding at the baby. “I can’t believe how much she’s grown since I last saw her!”

“Yep,” Joel said, kissing her head again.

“Has Brady started the meeting yet?” Miranda asked.

“Actually, he bumped it to one o’clock,” Nicole said. “Didn’t you get the text? I think you were on the thread.”

“I missed it.” Miranda took out her phone.

“Yeah, we’re waiting on Owen. He’s wrapping up a witness interview. Said he’d be in soon.”

Nicole watched as Joel gazed down at little Janie and then looked at his wife. It seemed like they were having a moment, so Nicole wanted to give them some privacy.

“I’ll catch you inside,” she told Miranda. “Good to see you, Joel.”

“See you around.”

Nicole went into the station and paused to let her eyes adjust to the dimness. The waiting room was empty for a change, and Denise was on the phone. She caught Nicole’s eye and put the caller on hold.

“Good, you’re here,” Denise said. “He wants to see you before the meeting.”

“Brady does?”

She nodded. “He’s in his office.”

Nicole stepped into the bullpen and shot an apprehensive look at Brady’s closed door. She glanced around, but everything seemed to be business as usual. A couple of uniforms were sitting at computers typing, and Adam was on a phone call.

Nicole tapped her knuckles on Brady’s door.

“Come in.”

She leaned her head in. “You wanted to see me?”

He pushed back his chair and stood, and Nicole’s apprehension ramped up.

“Have a seat. And close the door, would you?”

She pulled the door shut and sank into a chair, quickly scanning his desk for clues. There was nothing on it but a blank legal pad and a plastic cup filled with dark green sludge. Nicole managed not to make a face.

The chief sat down. “So.” He nodded at her.

She nodded back. There was something somber about him today, and dread filled her stomach.

“So... I bumped into Joel outside,” Nicole said, looking for small talk. “Haven’t seen him here in a while.”

Brady nodded. “Good segue.”

“Segue?”

“This involves him.” He cleared his throat. “We’re making some changes around here.”

Nicole watched Brady, holding her breath.

“I’m retiring.”

Her eyebrows shot up. “You’re—what?”

“It’s time.” He leaned back in his chair. “You ask my wife, it’s been time. And now my cardiologist agrees with her.” He folded his arms over his chest. “I’m due to have double bypass surgery at the end of next week.”

“Oh my gosh, Chief. I didn’t realize—”

“No one did.” He waved off the rest of her comment. “I haven’t been talking about it, except with Sharon. She’s had me on one of these no-meat diets—bunch of salads and smoothies—but that’s not enough. Evidently, it’s stress-related. Anyway, we don’t need to get into all that.” He sat forward and rested his elbows on the desk. “The point is that Joel is coming on as acting chief.”

Nicole sat there, wordless, trying to absorb all this news. Chief Brady was retiring. Joel Breda was replacing him.

“Joel’s a good pick,” Brady said.

She cleared her throat. “I agree.”

“My guess is he’ll end up in the job long-term, but that’s up to the city council.” Brady sat back again. “And that’s not the only change we’re making around here. With all the growth, we’re doing some reorganizing, adding some positions, including two new investigators. And we’re creating a new role. Head of detectives.” He paused. “We want to offer you the job.”

She blinked at him. “Me?”

“That’s right.”

“And by ‘we’ you mean...?”

“Joel and I talked it over. He has confidence in your leadership skills, and so do I.”

She swallowed. Her heart was thrumming now. “But what about Owen? He’s been here longer than I have.”

Brady nodded. “Owen’s a great detective. But we think you’re better suited for the role. This involves people management, mentoring. And you’ll be our point person dealing with victims and families. We think you’d be good at it.”

“Thank you.”

“Your work on Red Highway was impressive, Nicole. And the Aubrey Lambert case—you really knocked that out of the park. People noticed—and I’m not just talking about us. The feds noticed it, too. If it weren’t for your input, we never would have made the breakthroughs that neutralized an ongoing national security threat. So kudos to you. You earned this opportunity.”

Her cheeks flushed at all the praise from her taciturn boss.

“Thank you, Chief. I’m flattered.” She shook her head. “I just wasn’t expecting all this. What about Emmet? He’s been here longer than me also.”

“Emmet’s leaving.”

She stared at him. “He’s... what?”

“He’s joining the task force, taking Joel’s old spot.” Brady frowned and looked at her. “I thought you knew.”

Nicole swallowed. “No.”

“Well. I assumed he’d told you, given your personal relationship. Anyway, that’s between you two.” He cleared his throat. “My concern is the job offer. Head of detectives, and it comes with a salary bump.” He paused, clearly seeing she was too shocked to formulate a response at the moment. “Think about it and get back to me.”

“I will.”

He stood up. “But don’t take too long. My last day is Friday, and we’d like to have things buttoned up ahead of that.”

She got to her feet, dazed, and Brady held his hand out. She shook it.

“I need an answer by tomorrow.”

“Yes, sir.”

Emmet found Nicole on the beach at sunset. She jogged along the waterline with the late-day sun in her eyes, her attention focused on the distant lighthouse behind him.

He saw the second she noticed him. She stopped running and pulled out her earbuds. Then she bent at the waist, catching her breath as he walked up to her.

“Hey,” he said.

“Hey.” She straightened and looked him over, no doubt noticing that he’d been home to shower and change since work.

He bent down and kissed her, and she pulled away.

“I’m sweaty.”

“So?”

He smiled and kissed her again. Then he turned, and they started walking toward the dunes where he’d parked his truck beside hers.

She glanced at him. “How’d you know I’d be here?”

“Your running shoes were missing, so I figured.”

She removed her baseball cap and wiped her forehead with the back of her arm.

“I heard you talked to Brady.” He glanced at her.

Her jaw tensed. “Yep.”

“So, what do you think?”

She laughed. “About his job offer? Or the fact that I had to learn about my relationship from my boss?”

Emmet stopped and faced her. He’d known he was in trouble as soon as he’d talked to Joel.

“I’m sorry. I fucked this up, didn’t I?”

“Yep.”

“I’m really sorry, Nicole.” He took her hand. “I didn’t mean for you to hear it from Brady. I’d planned to talk to you, but I was waiting until they told me I officially had the job.”

She didn’t shake off his hand, but she gazed out at the water.

“I apologize.”

She looked at him, and the hurt in her eyes made his chest ache.

“Can we sit?” He nodded at a piece of driftwood near the dunes. “Please?”

She walked to the log and sat down. She stretched her legs out, crossing them at the ankles. He sank down beside her and stretched his legs out, too. He had on jeans and work boots, and his feet looked huge compared to hers.

“So, I guess this is why you’ve been totally MIA lately?” She looked at him. “You’ve been auditioning for this task force thing?”

“Partly. I was trying to keep up with work, too, so it’s been a lot of juggling.”

“I wish you’d told me. I would have tried to talk you out of it.”

“Why?”

“Because.” She scowled up at him.

“Nicole, we both know something had to change. We’ve talked about this. Our PD isn’t big enough for both of us. I can’t treat you like everyone else. I tried, believe me. And same goes for you. One of us had to go.”

Frustration flared in her eyes. “But you can’t just up and leave. I’m not okay with you making that kind of sacrifice for me.”

“It’s not a sacrifice.”

“Emmet, get real. This is your job. Your calling.”

“No, it’s not.”

“Yes, it is. I know you.”

He took her hand. “I know you. And I’ve been watching your career for years. As a detective, you’re a natural. You’re great with people and interviews, and you think creatively. You’re so good at it, it’s scary, Nicole. I’m not like that. I’m more tactical. And I’ve talked to a lot of guys on the task force, and it’s a much better fit for me.”

She shook her head. “But the task force is dangerous. Just—shit.” Her voice cracked and she looked away.

He squeezed her hand. He’d known this would be a sticking point.

“Everything’s dangerous,” he said. “Being a cop is dangerous. Or a firefighter. Or, hell, even a schoolteacher. I mean, I could get hit by a bus tomorrow—”

“That’s a bullshit answer and you know it. We’re talking about a job where you have to wear Kevlar to work. And do raids and takedowns. And work crazy hours. It’s going to be a strain, Emmet. Just ask Miranda and Joel how easy it’s been for them.”

She looked out at the water, and he studied her profile. He wished now that he’d come to her sooner so he could have messaged this better.

“I know it’s a lot,” he said. “It’s not always going to be this way. But for now, we’ve got to find a way to make our relationship work. Do you want us to have to drop what we have together?”

“No. Of course not. But this feels too drastic, Emmet. You love your job.”

“No. I like my job. I love you.”

She looked up at him, stunned.

Not that he loved her. She’d sensed that for a while now. But that he was prepared to say it. And not just say it, act on it. Rearrange his life around it. This was happening so fast. For years they’d been friends and then everything suddenly turned upside down.

He leaned forward, his eyes locked on hers, gauging her reaction.

“I love you, too,” she said.

Relief washed over his face. “Good. I was starting to worry there.”

“No, you weren’t.” She poked him with her elbow. “You know damn well how I feel about you.”

“I’ve been hoping. You never said it.”

She leaned over and kissed him. But then she pulled back.

She looked out toward the water’s edge, where a couple of kids were digging in the sand. A fisherman stood in the surf, and sunlight glimmered off the waves as a pelican swooped down.

Nicole’s pulse was racing, and not just from her run. Emotions swirled inside her.

No man, with the exception of her father, had ever sacrificed anything important for her. And she’d never wanted to feel that kind of heavy obligation to anyone.

Emmet bumped his shoulder against hers. “What’s that look?”

“Honestly?” She turned to him. “I’m scared, Emmet. You’re talking about sacrificing your job for me. What if you resent me later?”

“That’s what I’m telling you. I don’t see it as a sacrifice. It’s a change, yeah, and that’s stressful, but this is positive for us.” He took her hand again. “I want this to work between us.”

She gazed up at him, and the intense look in his eyes made her heart squeeze. No one had ever looked at her like he did.

Or laughed with her, or argued with her, or touched her like he did. She had never shared this level of intimacy with anybody, and it frightened the hell out of her.

He leaned closer. “Don’t be scared.”

Of course he knew what she was thinking.

“But I am scared. What if we don’t work out?”

He smiled. “Damn. And I thought I was the pessimist. What if we do work out? What if we get married and have kids together and grow old together, and we come right back to this beach like those people over there and feed the birds at sunset?”

She stared at him in shock.

“You should see your face right now.” He grinned and pulled her against him. “All right, maybe I’m rushing you.”

“This is all so much. I’m freaking out, Emmet.”

“Hey. Don’t.” He kissed the top of her head. “It’s just me.”

“I love you. I only wish the rest of it wasn’t so complicated.”

“It isn’t, really. We’ll take it one step at a time. It’s taken us ten years to get to this point, right? We’re not in a hurry. We can do this at our own pace.”

She pulled back and looked at him, and the sincerity in his eyes hit her. She trusted him. He had her back, and always had. She didn’t know what the future looked like, but they could work it out together.

He leaned down and kissed her. It started out soft and tender, but then it shifted, and his hand slid under her shirt. His mouth moved from her lips to her chin to her throat.

She eased back. “I’m all sweaty.”

“You’re perfect.”

“I need to go home and shower.”

He jumped to his feet and pulled her up. “Good idea. Lead the way.”