Chapter Twenty-One | Liam

The drive to Tofino was picturesque with tall stands of evergreen trees once we made the turn-off outside of Qualicum Beach. Jamal leaned against the passenger door, staring out the window.

We took a corner and there were cars parked along the shoulder of the roadway. A sheer rock face on the left side, the right was a marsh which could only mean one thing.

I pulled over too.

"What is it?" Jamal asked.

"Just a second. I'll show you." I went around to his side of the car, verified what was happening, and opened the door. I squatted down with my back to him. "Wrap your arms around my neck."

"You gonna piggyback me out?"

"Yup."

Jamal swung his legs out to dangle outside the car and slung his arms around my neck. I grabbed his thighs, placed them over my hips, and lifted him out of the car, extremely thankful for all the workouts I'd done over the years. My thighs burned but I was able to stand.

I walked over to where everyone was gathering and turned slightly so Jamal could see. In the marsh was a large moose and staying close to her side were two lanky calves.

"Oh, wow," Jamal said. "I've never seen moose in the wild."

"Extra special because of the twins."

Jamal kissed my cheek. "Maybe we'd end up with twins. "

I hugged his legs tighter to me. "That would be amazing." I was grateful I had brought up the topic of kids. Previously, Jamal had told me he was concerned about raising children from his wheelchair. He had also stated twice that it would have to be with the right partner.

Last week, he'd confirmed I was the person he wanted to go on that adventure with and my heart had nearly exploded from beating so hard. My love for him had burrowed into my soul.

After watching the moose for a few minutes, we returned to the car and continued on our way. Jamal was munching away on the chips we had bought for the road trip when I pulled up outside the B and make us both feel so good. I pulled away. "I want you ."

"Stay in that direction but shift my legs apart and kneel between them."

My cock throbbed. He wanted to watch as he sank into me. I moved his legs, kneeled between them, and tucked my feet under his thighs. My ass was perfectly poised.

"Hand me the last ring," Jamal said.

I did and within moments, Jamal circled my hole with the head of his cock. I sat backward; my ass headed toward his groin. He held his cock firm, and I slid tip to base onto it.

I stopped to catch my breath as fire scorched up my spine and down my thighs. Jamal placed his hands on my ass, calming me until I decided it was time to move. I raised up and Jamal's cock slid partially out of my ass, then I sank back down and groaned.

"Fuck, that's beautiful," Jamal murmured. He took what must be his thumb and stroked where our bodies joined. Where my skin was stretched tight, filled with him.

I rose and fell again—and again until I was riding him fast, my cock bouncing. I was going to try something. Not touch my dick. See if I could cum hands-free.

Not stroking my erection made it ache even harder. The denial was beyond erotic. My body hummed for me to continue. Even the air around it felt electrified.

Jamal gripped my hips. "Fuck, Liam … fuck."

"Yeah, I'm almost there too."

The orgasm that hit me rolled over me like a tsunami. My cock dribbled then spurted, dirtying the colourful quilt on the bed. Jamal's hips jerked up and he squeezed my hips tighter .

His legs shifted around as he rammed his cock up and stayed in me, unmoving, whimpering, then shuddered and lowered his hips.

After lying flat out for a few moments, he wrapped one arm around my chest, sat up, and kissed me on my spine. It tickled. I squirmed, laughing, and he hugged me tighter.

"Best orgasm ever," I exclaimed.

"You didn't touch your cock. How was it different?"

"Felt like it came from deeper within me. The denial of touch was exhilarating. I came so hard my toes curled and I felt like my ass was going to cramp."

"Yeah, you clamped down pretty hard."

I rose off his cock, immediately missing the feel of him inside me, and went and laid beside him. After taking the condom and silicone rings off, Jamal took his place, nestled against me, his head on my shoulder, and his hand on my chest.

We napped after that. The long drive had worn us both out. It was six in the evening when we woke. Jamal needed to be lifted into the bathroom then we redressed. We were both hungry.

I went out to the car and assembled Jamal's wheelchair and then retrieved him. The rain had stopped so it wasn't too soggy a trip down to my favourite restaurant, Rosie's.

There was only booth seating, an oversight on my part, but Jamal managed to transfer onto his side of the table. We both ordered cola and then perused the menu. I'd eaten here so often; I knew everything on it. They hadn't changed their offerings in the fifteen years I'd been coming.

"I'm getting their full breakfast," I said.

Jamal's gaze skirted down the menu. "Yum. That sounds amazing. Me too."

After we placed our order, Jamal extended his hand across the table. Didn't even have to think twice. I took it in mine and clung on tightly. "That was epic sex. "

"Based on the sounds we were making, I'm in agreement." Jamal smiled at me. "Did you know, each sperm carries 37.5 MB of DNA information?"

I snorted, unable to contain it. "Then you coaxed a massive data dump out of me."

Jamal smirked. "Happy to assist at any time."

There was something I wanted to talk to Jamal about. Something that had been taking up space in the forefront of my mind. "I'm thinking about going back to school."

Jamal's eyebrows rose. "Really?"

"Yeah, there's a two-year post undergrad course at Camosun. It would give me the qualifications to offer counseling to people. Not like a psychologist or anything, but I was thinking I could become a counsellor for LGBTQ+ youth, especially those transitioning."

The love coming from Jamal's expression … wow. He'd never looked at me that way before.

"I don't know what to say," Jamal confessed. "Every single day, you amaze me more."

"You think it's a good idea?"

"I think it's a brilliant idea, and I'm so proud of you for even considering it."

"Could you use someone like me at the youth centre?"

"I would find the funding." Tears rimmed Jamal's lower lids. "You'd be so good with those kids. They would benefit greatly from guidance coming from someone like you."

"Someone like me?"

"Someone who has seen stuff. Being shuffled off to foster care. Been bullied and beaten up. Not being accepted by your birth parents. Overcoming so much adversity. Despite it all, you became a sweet, caring, and gentle man who has so much love to share."

"That's what you see?"

Jamal smiled at me. "That's what I see. "

So much fell away with his words. I'd left my phone in that bedside drawer, and I didn't even care. My obsession with my body had been broken. I'd found someone who loved me so much deeper than that. We'd shared our fears and considered them, then moved forward.

And we would continue moving forward.

I was going to take Jamal down to the beach tomorrow. To share the joy I felt when I was out on the cresting waves. A joy only surpassed when I was with him.

I was going to tell him that and I knew in my heart, he felt the same. I trusted his love. I trusted every single word he spoke when it came to me and how much he loved me.

We stayed up watching television for a few hours when we returned to the B&B. I even got Jamal to check out one of my favourite British crime dramas.

As he lay beside me asleep later, my phone dinged. It was Freya, my birth mother.

Freya: How's my gorgeous boy?

Me: I'm on holiday with my boyfriend.

Freya: You have a boyfriend! Tell me all about him.

I sighed. I knew what she wanted to hear.

Me: He's beautiful and smart and funny.

Freya: How beautiful? Send me a picture.

I called up my photos and picked one of us together, smiling—happy. And sent it.

Freya: Is he in a wheelchair?

Me: Yes, he is .

Freya: Oh, Liam. You could have done so much better.

I took a long breath in and exhaled slowly to calm myself. I wasn't surprised by Freya's reaction. She'd have wanted to show us off as a pair. Now, she felt she couldn't do that.

My body tensed.

Me: Jamal is the most incredible person I have ever met. I love him deeply, and I have been blessed to have him love me back. He's my person and I'm going to spend the rest of my life with him. The wheelchair brought out a courage and perserverance in him that I admire.

Freya: I'm coming into town next week. I'm bringing a friend. I want them to meet you. They don't believe you're more gorgeous in person. We can meet at The Empress for high tea.

No.

That's it. I wasn't doing this anymore. I wasn't a prize pig to be flaunted. She hadn't even acknowledged that I had told her I was in love. That's not what she wanted from me. She didn't want a true relationship with her son. She wanted a prize piece to brag about.

Me: Can I bring my boyfriend?

Freya: I don't think that's necessary.

That sealed it.

Me: No. I won't be meeting you. And I'd appreciate if you didn't contact me. You have shown absolutely no interest in my life. You've been toxic to me. And I'm done with that.

Freya: Don't be silly. Meet with me. Meet my friend. He's gay like you. Gorgeous. A lawyer. I thought you two might hit it off.

My face heated. She didn't care. She didn't care about me at all .

Me: Goodbye, Freya. I have a family and a life now. Please stay out of it.

Before she could answer, I called up her contact in my phone and blocked her. Maybe one day I'd unblock her number, but for now, it felt amazing to be free of her.

Riding that feeling, I texted Erik, my birth father. He had tried to split Jamal and me up. Threatened the man I loved. I had been formulating what I wanted to say.

Me: Despite your efforts, Jamal and I are together and in love. He has told me everything about the domestic assault charge. It hasn't swayed my love for him. You tried to tear us apart and you failed. Jamal is my everything.

I'm sorry you weren't able to see him as the amazing man he is. It's sad that all you saw was his race and his wheelchair. You didn't give him a chance. The same as you never gave me a chance. You've only ever compared me to your kids. Not accepted me for my true self.

I know you hate this about me, but I am queer and proud of it and I have found a man who sees me for who I am. Maybe someday, you'll realize your first born son was worthy of your attention. But for now, I'm cutting ties. I need to heal from the wounds you and Freya inflicted on me. I was a child and you abandoned me. I have found a loving home now with the man I love.

I clicked send and saw that he read it. Butterflies stirred in my stomach as I waited.

Nothing.

I waited fifteen minutes, staring at my phone.

Nothing.

I was done with him. Another block .

I looked at Jamal. He was even more beautiful when he slept. I wanted to reach out and stroke his cheek, but I refrained. I lay my head on my pillow and kept watching him.

His soft breathing.

His stunning lashes.

His lips that felt like velvet.

His love for me .

My heart stitched a few more traumatic tears back together. Being with Jamal had started it on the road to healing. Every day with him brought me closer to being whole.

Aside from the Salish Sea Society , he was the only family I needed in my life.