Chapter Nineteen | Liam

Mamma sat across from me, twirling her coffee cup on the table. She'd called me this afternoon and asked me to meet with her. Ethan's coffee shop Salish Café was holding its weekly open mic night for writers, so they didn't close until late. We'd agreed to meet here after dinner.

"I don't know much of what happened," she said. "But I can guess."

Her call to meet had blindsided me a little. I wasn't sure what to expect. I acknowledged that Jamal was her son, and as his Mamma, she likely wanted to meet to defend him.

"He told me about his conviction," I said.

"I thought so. Jamal was in a bad place when that happened. He's not like that. It surprised all of us that any kind of abuse was going on. That boy is as gentle and sweet as they come."

I frowned at the table. "I know that. That's not what has me concerned." I looked up at her. "It's the fact he didn't trust me enough to tell me at first. He broke up with me instead."

"Liam. I know you struggle with your self-worth. I can see through you." Mamma pursed her lips. "Do you think maybe your negative ego is getting in the way of your happiness?"

I blinked repeatedly as comprehension rushed in. She was right. My hesitation wasn't entirely that he hadn't trusted me, even though that was huge, it was because Jamal had given me a reason for breaking up with me that wasn't my fault. My ego hadn't known what to do with that .

Fear.

His decision to delay telling me his story had been driven by fear.

I, in turn, had been overcome by fear as a response.

What were we so damned afraid of?

Mamma placed her hand on mine. "Jamal is miserable. He threw his wheelchair down the stairs a few nights ago. I honestly thought he'd gone down with it."

Fuck.

I nearly stood as every muscle in my body tensed. I'd done that to him. How could I love him and do that to him? My fears were unfounded. I'd been stupid.

"Is it possible you're in love with one another?"

Tears pooled in my eyes, and I nodded. I'd nearly thrown away everything we'd been working toward. My phone buzzed in my pocket. I almost ignored it, but something told me to answer.

It was Jamal.

"Jamal?"

He was crying. Every hitch in his breath sent spears through my heart.

"Liam … I need you."

"What happened?"

"I was attacked in my office."

This time I did stand, my heart threatening to leap from my chest. "Are you hurt?"

"He dumped me over. I can't get back into my chair."

"Jeezus, Jamal … I'll be right there."

"What's wrong?" Mamma's voice was high and thin, laced with concern.

"Is that my mom?"

"Yeah, we met for coffee. "

He skimmed right over why I was meeting with Mamma. It would be obvious. "Please don't tell her what happened. She worries about me enough already."

"I won't. I'll be right there, beautiful."

Mamma grabbed my arm as I ended the call.

"What happened?"

"It's nothing. He's at the centre. He was doing something that caused him to tip over."

Mamma frowned at me. "He's able to get back in his chair if that happens."

"He must have hurt something when he fell." I gripped both her hands. "He's all right. I'm going to go to him. I'll help him and we'll talk. I need to talk to him—alone."

She gave me a slight smile. "You'll tell him?"

"That I love him?" I squeezed her hands. "Yeah, I'll tell him."

When I released her hands, she patted my cheek. "Then off you go. Make my son happy again." I jogged toward the door, then ran all the way to the youth centre. The front doors were unlocked, thankfully. But I wish they hadn't been. That's how the attacker had gained access.

I hurried in the direction of Jamal's office.

His scared shaky voice seeped out through the doorway. "Liam?"

"It's me." I burst in and rushed to where he was on his side behind his desk. He looked like a rag doll someone had discarded onto the floor. "Let's get this wheelchair out from under you."

I shoved Jamal's desk to give myself more room to work. Jamal was able to work himself off the armrest. It concerned me that he appeared to be cringing as he scooted along on his left arm.

I touched his shoulder. "Have you injured your arm? "

"Yeah, I landed pretty hard on my shoulder. It'll be fine." He winced as he shuffled forward away from the wheelchair. "My hip is going to be bruised from the armrest. It could have been so much worse. I don't think anything is broken." He looked up at me. "I need you to touch me."

"Always." I stroked the hair along his temple to comfort both of us as I gazed down at him. Someone had come at this beautiful man with hatred. It didn't seem possible.

"Who was he?" I abandoned Jamal's hair. His legs were compacted against the front rigging of his chair. I lifted them away and brought them forward to be under Jamal's torso.

"The parent of someone deadnamed Peter. He accused us of making his son think he's a girl."

"I know who Peter was." They had confided in me. "That was Avery."

"Ah … okay. That makes sense. They came out as enby to their parents recently."

I didn't want to talk about Avery. I wanted to check every inch of Jamal's body to make sure the damage wasn't too severe. "Do you hurt anywhere else?"

"He gave me a good boot to the stomach, but it doesn't hurt much."

"Jeezus. We need to take you to the hospital." His body free of the wheelchair, I stood and righted it. It wasn't the wheelchair I was used to seeing him in. This one was older and heavy. Sadness flooded me. He must have damaged the other one when he threw it down the stairs.

"I'm fine. I just want to go home." He struggled to find a way to sit.

I rushed back to him. "Here, let me help you." I was gentle, my arms around his chest, aware his gut was sore, and righted him until he was sitting, then released him and gave him space.

He clutched my arm. "Just give me a sec. I'm dizzy. "

My gaze wandered his face as I imagined spending my life with him. Growing old together. His jet-black hair turning grey. All the adventures of life we'd have together.

His eyes, his nose, his cheekbones, his chin—

What the fuck?

My heart dropped into my gut and made my entire body vibrate.

I lifted Jamal's chin and turned his face from side to side. On his neck were a set of bruises like someone's fingers had been gripping his throat. "Did he choke you?"

Tears pooled in Jamal's eyes, and he started shaking. "I've never been so scared, Liam."

I released his chin, wrapped my arms around him, and hugged him far too tightly. I never wanted to let him go ever again. I wanted to keep him safe. I brushed my cheek against his.

This was the man I wanted to spend eternity with.

"I love you," I whispered in his ear.

He clung to my shoulder with his good arm, and then my neck, balling up my jacket in his fist. He snuffled against my neck, crying harder, his tears dampening my skin.

"I love you too."

The peace that came over me was palpable. I'd never experienced anything that felt this right before. I kissed his cheek. "Beautiful man … you've entirely stolen my heart."

He kissed my cheek again and again. "Let's go home."

"Are you sure? I'd feel better if I took you to the hospital." I moved so I'd be able to use my legs. With my arms around Jamal's waist and him clinging to my neck, I lifted him off the floor, pivoted, and placed him in his wheelchair. I set each of his feet on the footrests.

"We'll just end up waiting forever."

"Jamal. "

Jamal rolled his eyes. "Fine. But we're picking up snacks on the way."

"You're hungry after all that?"

"No, but eating might distract me."

After putting Jamal's coat on his good arm, the other side draped around his shoulder, I flicked off the lights and locked up the centre. I pushed Jamal down the street to Salish Café and retrieved my car, thankful it wasn't raining. Jamal had to instruct me on how to disassemble the wheelchair to fit in the back of my car after I lifted him onto the passenger seat.

We did stop for snacks.

I was thankful for them when I saw the number of people sitting in the waiting room of the hospital. The television screen on the wall said the average wait time to see a doctor was six hours and forty minutes. The release time was eight hours and twenty minutes. We were in for a long haul. I helped Jamal text Meera, reporting the assault and assuring her we'd keep her in the loop.

Jamal took my hand once we were settled in our seats.

I entwined my fingers tightly with his and vowed not to let go no matter what kind of looks we received. This was the man I loved. And he loved me back.

"Mamma made a good point today," I said.

Jamal looked along his shoulder at me. "She usually does. What did she say?"

"She told me it was my ego getting in the way of us reconciling."

Tipping his head slightly, Jamal raised his eyebrows. "And do you agree?"

"What you told me challenged me. I wanted to hear it was my fault you broke up with me because that's where my ego resides. In my self-deprecation. I gravitated toward fear."

Jamal leaned against me. "What are you afraid of? "

So many things, but when it came to Jamal, there was one that threatened to drag me under.

"I'm afraid to fall in love and then be abandoned."

Jamal clung to my arm and kissed my shoulder. "Oh, sweet man. I'd never abandon you."

I frowned. "You broke up with me."

"And I came back. I knew I couldn't live without you. After Richard, I thought I might never find anyone again. Someone I could share love with. At times, I felt as if it would be an apt punishment for me to be alone for the rest of my life. And then you came along."

"We owe Noah for that."

Jamal laughed. "I'll buy him a gift."

I turned my head and kissed his forehead.

"I honestly never thought someone would see me the way you do," I said.

He stroked my jawline and smiled at me. "I could say the same."

I closed my eyes and enjoyed the feel of his fingertips across my stubble. We sat snuggled up against one another, chatting, only broken from our secret realm by someone calling Jamal's name.

In the exam room, there was a reliving of the events and then there was diagnostic imaging. Hearing the whole story from start to finish nearly brought me to my knees.

It struck hard. I could have lost him.

Then we had the police to deal with. The hospital had called then. Standard procedure apparently. Which was fine. Jamal had intended to seek charges.

Jamal told his story again and then signed a statement. Avery's dad would be arrested right away. He'd be seeing a judge tomorrow to answer for what he did. I would call Brody and see if he could swing an assignment to the case. I'd feel better with him as crown prosecutor .

5 am the next morning while it was still dark, I wheeled Jamal to my car and settled him in it for the drive home. According to the doctor, nothing was broken, but he'd be bruised and sore for a while and he needed to wear a sling to support his shoulder for at least a week. That was going to make getting around difficult, but Jamal assured me he could manage. I called him on it.

I pulled up outside his house. "How are you going to wheel around with one arm?"

"Meera can help me."

"Seriously? How is she going to help you transfer onto your bed? Onto your toilet?" I pulled his wheelchair out of the backseat and completed the process of disassembling it in reverse.

"I'll get David or Zahir to help me with that."

Stunningly, I reassembled the chair correctly. "And at work?"

"I can get an attachment for my chair so I can propel it with one arm." Jamal slung his arm around my neck, his upper body tensing, and I lifted him from the passenger seat of my car and deposited him in his wheelchair. He rearranged his legs until they were sitting right.

"You don't need me?" I felt like he was cutting me out.

Jamal put his hand on mine as I wheeled him into the house. "Of course, I need you."

"For what?"

"I need you to hold me. I need to feel your protective arms around me when that brute comes calling for me in my dreams." He tipped his head against my arm. "I need to feel your love."

The foyer was empty and quiet as we wheeled inside.

I was glad. I wanted Jamal to myself for as long as I could have him. After we closed the door to his bedroom, I rolled Jamal into the bathroom. We'd been sitting for hours without a break.

He'd made me aware that he didn't have his little bag with him, so he couldn't pee. Once we were in an exam room, the nurse helped him with that, but he needed to go again. Managing that would be impossible with his one arm in a sling. It was down to me to help.

I looked around the room. "What do I need to do?"

"Um." He shuffled backward in his seat. "I need my pants and underwear off."

"Okay." I unbuttoned and unzipped his jeans and gently worked them off his hips until his soft cock was exposed. "Is that good enough?"

"Yup." He looked up at me as if he expected me to run.

"I'm here," I assured him. "What next?"

Jamal grasped one wheel with his hand and scooted forward a little to be closer to the toilet. "Go into the cabinet beside the sink. There are packages of catheters in there. Grab one."

I opened the cabinet door. There was a basket with a neat row of plastic packages. I took the one from the front of the stack. Next to the basket was a box of blue gloves.

"Do I need gloves?"

"Yes." Jamal sighed. "Are you sure you're all right with this? I can wake Meera."

"I'm in love with you." I stepped closer to him, and he leaned into my touch as I brushed the back of my fingers down his cheek. "I want to be here for you … whatever it is you need."

Jamal grabbed my hand and kissed my knuckles. "Okay. Put on some gloves. And put one on my hand too." I struggled to get my big hands into the gloves but eventually managed. It was comical trying to get Jamal's on, but at least his hand was the right size for the glove .

"Carefully open the package and hand me the catheter. Don't let it touch anything. Then rip open the packet of lube." He took the plastic tubing from me and let it hang in the air.

I moved on to the lube.

"Do you want me to coat the tubing?"

"Yeah. Just up to where my fingers are."

I squirted the full packet of lube onto my fingers and coated the supple plastic with it.

Jamal hesitated.

"Jamal, this is only going to make us stronger. What do I do next?"

"I need you to hold my penis steady so I can feed this in." He jerked his head in the direction of the back of the toilet. "Grab that urinal first and put the funnel end of the tubing in it."

I did as instructed with the urinal and propped it against his feet, squatted, then used my other hand to lift his cock from where it was resting on his balls and held it gently.

I almost looked away when Jamal started feeding the tubing into it, but curiosity won out. I wondered how many times a day he had to do this. His technique was fluid.

I knew he reached his bladder when the tubing turned yellow. I released his dick and then double-checked to ensure the other end of the tubing was in the urinal.

"Not sure I'd classify this as a bonding moment," Jamal teased as he peered down at me, a tiny smile lighting up his face. It was the first time I'd seen him smile in far too long.

I lifted off my heels enough to come even with his lips.

"I love you," I whispered and kissed him—soft and brief.

"I love you right back." His words and breath tickled my lips. I wanted to chase them again, but he looked down into his lap. "I'm done."

Right. We were doing something.

"What's next? "

"I pull it out." And he did so, then tossed the tubing in a garbage pail beside his toilet. The urinal was heavier than expected as I lifted it and dumped it into the toilet.

"You didn't have to do that," Jamal said. "I could have."

I smirked at him. "It's just pee."

"Hm." He kissed the tip of my nose. "Take my glove off, please."

I removed his and then mine and tossed them into the garbage pail. I kissed Jamal's forehead, and he ran his fingers into my hair and plucked the elastic away, releasing the full compliment of blond strands onto my shoulders. "I love you with your hair down."

"Then I'm never wearing it up again."

His eyes dipped closed and then popped open. "I need to go to bed."

"On it."

I pulled off his shoes, then his pants, underwear, and shirt before wheeling him into the bedroom and turning down the bedding. My transfer to place him in bed was smoother than last time. Jamal tugged at the sling until he had it off. "I'm not sleeping with this on."

"Fair enough." I stripped down, conscious of the fact Jamal was watching me. While I got into bed, my cock thickened as I imagined his naked body pressed against mine.

This was not the time.

I fixed a pillow behind my head.

Jamal grasped my arm. "Help me over." I moved toward him instead and curled him into my embrace. He cuddled deep against me, humming. The sound made me feel more secure than I had my entire life. This man loved me. I put my hand on his ass and pulled him closer.

He woke a couple of times during our sleep clawing at me until he figured out where he was and that he was safe. I peppered kisses on his head each time until he drifted back to sleep.

Not sure what time we slept until. I could smell food cooking.

"They're making tandoori for dinner." Jamal placed his hand on my chest. "It's one of my favourites, but it'll keep." He turned his head and kissed my shoulder. "I need you."

A ripple of exhilarating tingles ran through my body, my head to the tips of my toes. Then reason barged in. "You need time to heal."

"The doctor says I'm fine."

He was right. The doctor had told us he'd be sore for a while, but he could go back to his usual activities. And those activities appeared to include me getting to know his body better.

I rolled him onto his back and hovered above him then descended and covered his precious lips with mine, caressing them. He responded by gripping my neck and hauling me closer.

We simply enjoyed kissing one another. No rush. Just reconnecting. Emerging from the haze of our love, I panted against his lips. "What do you want to do?"

Jamal lifted some of my hair and tucked it behind my ear. "I want to be inside you."

My heart beat faster. I was really going to do this. I wanted to do this. My cock throbbed as I thought about joining mine with Jamal's body. "How do we go about that?"

"Spin around to sixty-nine with me. I want to eat your ass."

The surge to my cock started in my chest. Lust overtook me. I scrambled, turned, and kneeled to either side of Jamal's waist, ensuring I didn't bump into his sore shoulder. He placed his good hand on my ass and kissed my crease. I shut my eyes and moaned quietly .

I was so ready for this. I'd had sex with what was probably hundreds of men, and I had never let a single one of them touch my ass. Jamal licked and then sucked on my balls.

His semi-hard cock was within reach. I took it in my hand and sucked on the crown, circling it and using my tongue to get it good and wet. His hips shifted up and he separated my cheeks with his hand. I slipped his cockhead and shaft along my tongue, headed for my throat.

I sucked hard.

Fuck.

I closed my eyes as a wave of sensation rippled up my body.

His tongue and lips were on my hole. Prodding, licking, and sucking—and about to drive me deliriously insane. His breath was hot as he practically feasted. I'd licked plenty of holes over the years. Men always went wild, squirming and writhing, but I'd had no idea it felt this good.

Half my focus was on sucking his cock, preparing him. The other half was fascinated by the euphoria and absolute hunger Jamal was exuding and in turn creating in me.

He moved his hand, and his finger pressed against my clenching and releasing ring of muscle. He drew his finger away, presumably sucking on it then gently penetrated me.

I groaned as my chest heaved. I abandoned his cock and clung to his thighs. He pumped his finger in and out of my ass. Then he stopped. "Can you get me the lube and the smallest dildo?"

"Sure." I climbed off him and stretched for the drawer of the bedside table he was pointing at. Inside was a full bottle of lube and an assortment of dildos. I lifted the smallest.

"Just so you know," he said. "I bought all those recently. Nothing has been used."

Yeah, that had flitted into my mind. I didn't want to use Richard's hand-me-downs .

I kneeled beside Jamal, popped open the lube, and coated the bulbous silicone head and then the shaft in it. Even though it was the smallest one in his drawer, my ass thought it was massive. An unprecedented ache filled my gut emanating from my hole.

It wanted to be filled—badly.

"Grab a condom and the cock rings as well."

I passed him the dildo, collected the rest of the supplies, and set them on the bed then snatched some tissues from a box and cleaned my hands. "Condom first?"

"Yeah."

I knelt beside his hip and did my best to roll the condom onto his semihard dick as he stroked my back and my ass with his palm. I twisted back and picked up both cock rings, squirted some lube onto my fingers, and used them to slick up the circles of silicone.

"Do you know how to put them on?" Jamal asked.

I smirked at him. "Not my first cock ring rodeo."

Jamal grinned and shook his head, close to laughing. I loved that we could be playful. Sex was about more than body parts. It was also the sexy banter. The tuning in to one another.

I put the larger of the rings on first by rolling it down his sheathed shaft and stretching it to feed his balls through. I glanced up at him when it was in place. "That all right?"

"Perfect."

I retook my position, straddling him.

Jamal took a moment then inserted more of his fingers into my ass and slipped them in and out, building my desire for more. I moved his legs, so his thighs were further apart and swallowed his dick until the ring pressed against my lips. Both the condom and the lube were flavoured. Strawberry. Which I didn't mind. I bobbed up and down using my mouth and my hand.

His fingers slid from my hole .

I stopped with Jamal's cock nearly down my throat when something larger pressed against my rim. I slurped his dick to the tip then lifted off it.

"Fucking hell." I clung to his legs and panted between them as Jamal started feeding me the dildo. I dropped my forehead onto the bedding and tried to relax. I bowed my spine, tipping my ass up further. Jamal made an appreciative noise that made my cock bounce.

It burned like nothing I'd felt before. But it was a good burn like I had to walk through fire in my quest for euphoria. God, it felt amazing being this vulnerable. In someone's hands.

I turned myself over to Jamal.

Once he had the dildo seated, he withdrew and plunged gently. The evacuation had left me yearning. Being packed full—searing. My heart hammered in my ears. My legs close to quaking.

When he pumped the dildo into me the fifth time something happened.

Fuck.

I moved to cling to one of his legs. I held tightly to it and rested my forehead on his thigh. With each thrust and retreat, I discovered nirvana. My dick ached and bobbed each time he passed the dildo over the gland I knew was there. I'd been missing out. The guys, my three bottoming best friends had been right. I'd never been transported like this. It was absolute bliss.

"Put on the next ring," Jamal said.

I was distracted but I managed to roll the smaller ring down to the base of his cock. He thrust the dildo in high. My mind was fuzzy and went wild at the same time. I could feel it deep inside me. I took Jamal's dick back into my mouth, got into a rhythm, and soon had Jamal's cock as hard as it had been previous times. I thrilled in it riding my tongue as I released it .

Jamal withdrew the source of the glorious pressure in my ass.

"I want your lips on mine," Jamal whispered.

I lifted my leg off and away from him and turned my body around. I kissed the centre of his chest then sucked on his nipples and made my way up to his throat. When he clung to me, moaning, and ground his ass into the bedding, I stopped teasing and kissed him.

We melted against each other, chasing and consuming. Our tongues were serene as they wandered the landscape they had sought to conquer. It was an all-encompassing give and take.

He raked his hand into my hair. "Are you ready?"

I kissed his chin. "So ready." I straightened and reached behind me, securing his cock between my fingertips. I rose on my knees, my ass tipped and circled his cockhead around my hole.

I had to grip fast to his dick as I descended fully on it.

God.

I tilted my head back, eyes closed, mouth open, and released the longest moan of my life.

This sensation of oneness was beyond glorious.

I needed to move. Jamal placed his hand on my hip to urge me up. My first few rises and falls were slow and careful then a lust-fueled desire took over and I increased my ferocity until I was bouncing on his cock and doing my best not to make too much noise. I wanted to yell and curse, and fucking lose all sense of decency, but his family was upstairs.

"Jamal … fuck ... yes." Jamal wrapped his hand around my cock and jerked on it smoothly until I felt the urge rising in me. The absolute manic need to cum.

So much sensation. It was blinding me to reason .

I stopped the battering I'd been giving myself and rocked back and forth on him instead. The motion hit all sorts of new places. "Oh, my god ... so good."

I sought out his beautiful and loving face. He smiled up at me, his eyes wide, his tongue making small appearances on his lips. I rose and fell again. His mouth popped open as he grunted.

More than beautiful. He was gorgeous.

Without glancing away, I resumed my ride, my fingers on his chest.

Jamal closed his eyes and tipped his chin up. "Yes … god, yes." He gripped my thigh and squeezed hard, digging his nails in as his entire torso tensed. His hips undulated up.

He fell quiet, holding his breath, then groaned as his body vibrated beneath me. Watching his body experience such pleasure shot a feeling of purpose through me.

We'd found our own sexual stride.

Jamal pulled on my waist. "Come up here with that massive cock of yours."

I reluctantly released Jamal's softening dick from my ass and shuffled up as far as I could go without running into Jamal's injured arm. I pumped my cock as I looked down at him.

As his gaze travelled from my cock to my face and back again, he licked his lips and stuck out his tongue flat to tempt me. An image of his face painted in my cum tightened my balls.

My cock throbbed and pulsed in my hand, the vein along the bottom of my shaft full. Faster and faster, I kept focused on his face. The first surge of cum hit his chin. Then his nose. Then directly into his mouth, coating his bottom lip. Before the final convulsion hit me, I moved back down his body so I could gather my cum off his chin and lips and feed it into his mouth with my tongue. We sealed the resulting kiss as we played with the taste of me.

Then we simply existed, savouring the moment, quietly panting. Jamal stroked the side of my ribcage lazily, tickling me. I gasped and jerked, making him laugh.

"Sorry," he said. "I love touching your skin."

"And I love you touching it." I kissed his nose then lowered myself down beside him. He rolled onto his sore arm to kiss my shoulder. The noise from upstairs sounded closer. The family must be in the dining room. It was near to the top of the stairs.

"Are you hungry?" he asked.

"Actually, I'm starving. I can't believe we slept all day."

Shit.

Dinner upstairs. It must be six o'clock. I was supposed to be at work. I swung my legs off the bed and went in search of my phone. It was in the back pocket of my jeans.

Me: Hey. Sorry. Totally gonna drop you in it.

Noah: Why?

Me: Someone attacked Jamal in his office last night.

Noah: Is he all right?

Me: Just a bit bruised. I'm going to stay with him tonight.

Noah: No worries. I can hold down the bar. Are you back together?

Me: Told him I love him. He said it back.

Noah: Congratulations! heart emoji

Me: Thanks. Love you.

Noah: Love you too .

"Everything all right?" Jamal sat up by using his good arm as leverage.

"Playing hooky from work. Noah is good with it."

"Are you sure?"

"Yup." I climbed back on the bed and knelt beside him. I started with the smaller cock ring. It was practically off his soft dick already. I glanced at Jamal. He was chewing his bottom lip as he watched me. The larger ring came off easily enough along with the empty condom.

I tossed everything at the end of the bed.

"We're too covered in lube and cum to go upstairs," Jamal said.

"Well." I sat beside him. He laid back down and clutched my bicep. "Either we can have a shower, or we can call Meera for room service. I'm sure she wants to make sure you're okay."

"Room service sounds perfect."

I brushed my hand up and down his torso. "How's your stomach?" While we'd been fucking, he'd been engaging his core. It had to be hurting after taking a kick to the belly.

"Don't worry." He placed his hand on mine. "I'm fine. I'm tougher than I look."

"I'm discovering that about you."

He smiled at me. "So … million-dollar question. How was bottoming?"

"Oh, my god." I rolled my eyes dramatically. "So good."

"Mm." He cuddled in against me, his face pressed to my arm. "Good. Because I love you and I want to make you feel good as often as I can manage."

I chuffed out a short laugh and caressed his arm. "Sounds perfect." I dragged my fingertips up and down his skin. "I love you too." It was better than sex saying that aloud.

"This is sublime, but I need to drink my water and stretch." Jamal rolled away from me onto his back. I lay and watched him as he lifted his legs and brought them to his chest followed by some other positions where he made accommodations for his injured arm.

He twisted and opened his bedside drawer then peered over his shoulder at me.

"I have to put in a suppository."

"Oh." I hadn't expected that. But I guess it made sense. "I need to take a piss." I left the bed and headed for the bathroom to give him some privacy. I took my time, emptying my bladder, brushing my teeth, and washing up. I opened the cabinet and set a catheter package on the counter. We'd need to do that again soon. We'd been asleep for over twelve hours.

"Liam, I'm done."

I returned to the bedroom. Jamal was sitting up against the headboard, drinking from a large water bottle I hadn't noticed before. "It's important for you to stay hydrated."

"Things don't work if I don't."

I sat beside him and played with his fingers. "You're so beautiful."

Jamal laughed. "You have funny timing."

I turned and cupped his face. "No, I mean it. Everything about you is beautiful. Not simply your face or your body. Which I am a big fan of. Your bravery is stunningly beautiful."

"Where on earth did you come from, sweet man?"

I could offer him the truth. "I don't think I came fully alive until I met Noah. He healed me with his affection and support. Then Ethan came along, and he taught me so much about love. And then Owen. He can be a pain in the ass, but he holds us all accountable. Those men saved my life."

"You found your family."

I brushed his lip with my thumb. "And now I have another. With you."

Tears collected in Jamal's eyes. "Mamma is going to be so thrilled. She gave me a little heart attack a few days ago but judging by the fact you met with her … she's come to love you."

I'd felt that from Mamma when she called and wanted to meet. Then she'd laid out a case for Jamal, encouraging me to return to him. When I told her I loved her son, there was such relief and affection in the way her eyes widened. I was welcome in their family.

I belonged somewhere.