Chapter Seventeen

CHAPTER SEVENTEEN

Levee

I suddenly had a deep-seated hatred for her impeccably-named, gorgeous goldfish. Because they were literally the only reason she had to go home.

I was considering looking into automatic goldfish feeding systems.

If one didn’t exist, I’d drop some good money into having someone invent one.

Just to have another day with Jade. Waking up with the scent of her all over my pillows, with her limbs tangled with mine, with her sweet, sleepy Good morning.

It was shocking how easily I wanted to slow down and hole up with her, avoiding the parties, the craziness that used to call to my soul.

It had a different calling now.

Christ, that sounded cheesy as hell.

But there was no denying it, either.

For fuck’s sake, I missed her when she went next door to meet Che, Sass, and their kids. Since Harmon clearly got talking about the portraits.

I wondered if hand massages were a thing, because I was pretty sure Jade was going to need them with all the work the club and their friends were going to be sending her way.

“Down bad, huh?” Eddie asked, smirking at me when he caught me staring off at the stairs Jade had just disappeared up to go change back into the clothes she’d shown up in.

I sucked in a deep breath, releasing it in a whoosh.

“Yeah,” I admitted.

What use was there in denying it? I’d been around long enough to see this exact shit happen with my club brothers. It was inevitable. Might as well lean into it. Seeley and Cato seemed happier than ever now that they’d settled down with Ama and Rynn.

Suddenly, I was imagining crazy shit. Like triple dates. Like barbecues in our backyards with all our kids gathered around. Playing, laughing, happy. With none of the trauma that came from our own childhoods.

It was early for those thoughts, sure. But I imagined Jade’s mind was heading in a similar direction. She was clearly enamored with the club, with the idea of being a part of it, with the desire to have her own bungalow and babies.

There was no way it was just me having future thoughts. Especially after long conversations cuddled in bed after sex and before shared meals downstairs.

I told her shit that I wasn’t even sure I’d told Cato or Seeley about my father, about my mother’s abandonment, about the abuse I suffered from my grandfather, that I still came back to care for him when there was no one else to do it.

She told me about her own, much happier, childhood, about her hopes for her career and future.

The only thing we didn’t discuss was her face. And what the fuck happened to it.

I was trying to do what Velle suggested and just be the escape she clearly needed. She did, too. She’d slept like the dead in my bed. And on that second morning, the purple circles from lack of sleep she’d been sporting the last few times I’d seen her were gone.

That shiner, though, and whoever the fuck put it there, was eating at me.

Why trust me with the stories of her past and the hopes of her future, but leave out whatever was clearly going on in her present?

Though, to be fair, I hadn’t exactly been completely forthcoming about my own present either. Namely about the club. And the fact that we weren’t just, you know, weekend road warriors, just friends who liked to hang out together.

I couldn’t tell if she sensed that she wouldn’t like the answer and that was why she didn’t ask more about the club.

I mean it had to have occurred to her that I never seemed to need to go off to work. Nor did anyone else for that matter, save for those who also did legit jobs that allowed our club to wash our money.

Like Eddie, Donovan, and Che, who all worked at the shop owned by Sass.

The rest of us, though, had been at the clubhouse around-the-clock. And that didn’t seem odd to her.

Maybe that was because of her own work-from-home situation, though, and not because she suspected we were into illegal shit.

I knew I needed to tell her.

But there was a do-gooder aspect to Jade. It was a part of her that I admired. It was also a part of her that could have strong objections to what I did for a living.

It was wrong to keep it from her. I was taking a choice away from her by not fessing up.

I just… wasn’t ready to lose her.

Though as I watched her come back down the stairs still wearing my tee over her dress, looking ready to head out, I wasn’t sure I would ever be ready to lose her.

“Those goldfish better enjoy their meal,” I said, reaching for her hips and pulling her in to press a kiss to her forehead.

“I’ll tell them you said hi. And that you’re resentful over their need to eat,” she said, giving me a smile as I led her through the house and out the front door.

“We still getting together at your place?” I asked.

“I’m looking forward to it,” she said, giving me a soft smile after opening her door and starting her car to get the air going.

“Tell me what to order and I’ll bring it with me when I come,” I said, wishing it was later that night, but not wanting to push it.

“How about I cook instead?” she asked, giving me a soft smile. “I can even do it naked if you want,” she added, eyes warming.

“Careful, I might hold you to that,” I said as my hand went behind her neck, massaging for a second, then pulling her closer as my lips claimed hers.

It was a long, lingering kiss that I tried not to think felt a lot like goodbye.

“Naked with an apron,” she said afterward. “Just to protect the assets,” she added, getting a little laugh out of me, lightening the mood, before slipping into her car.

I stepped back but watched her car until it disappeared down the street.

When I turned back around, Velle was there watching me.

“She didn’t tell you, did she?” he asked.

“No. And I didn’t push. Was that a mistake now?” I asked, stomach tensing.

“I don’t think so. You established trust by not pestering her with questions. I think this will make it so she reaches out to you on her own about it.”

“How come you don’t have a girl if you know women so well?” I asked, following him around the back toward the pool.

“Understanding them doesn’t necessarily mean I’m any good at relationships with them,” he said, shrugging off that little confession. “I hope you’re seeing her again soon, though. That was some sizable damage to her face. Don’t like the idea of her dealing with that alone for any length of time.”

“Tomorrow or the next day,” I said, knowing we hadn’t set an exact date, but figuring I could swing that without seeming too needy.

“Good,” he said, nodding. “Could it be an ex?” he asked.

“I doubt it. She told me about her only ‘serious’ boyfriends. They sounded like the artsy, kind of beta, sort. Not the kind to put their hands on her. At least I don’t think so. She talked about them kind of fondly even though she said they just weren’t good matches.”

“Something in the neighborhood then, maybe. You said it was a rough area, right?”

“Yeah. It was bad when we grew up there. Seems to be the same now. Lots of local crews. Deals going on in broad daylight. Pimps and sex workers all night long. Not to mention all the other shit.”

“Hopefully, it was just an isolated incident. Maybe she was walking around when some sort of deal was going on and they were trying to scare her.”

“Yeah,” I agreed.

But the knot in my stomach said it was more than that.

I was just going to have to wait until she opened up to me about it.

I just prayed she would do so before it was too late.