CHAPTER FIFTY-FIVE Chad

"Where do you want it, Mom?" I asked, dropping the ten-foot-tall Christmas tree in the foyer.

"What do you think, honey? The rec room or formal living room?" she answered with a question of her own.

"More guests will see the tree in the rec room," I replied. "Let's put it there."

Mom agreed, so I dragged the massive thing across her hardwoods, Dad grimacing the entire time. "You could help," I pointed out, watching his pained expression.

"And then what? Get in the way of you and Mom regarding any Christmas decisions that I have no vote on?" he asked. "Not a chance, kiddo."

Dad was right. Christmas belonged to me, the Christmas baby, born on the same day as Jesus. I'd been the go-to holiday planner in our house since I was around twelve, after Mom gave up trying to please me with her underwhelming trees and decorations.

I'd picked their tree up on my way home from working at the food truck, knowing that neither of them would if I didn't. I'd relocated my business to a parking lot in Old Town where the year-round trucks still did business after the summer tourists and beachgoers left town. Our winter menu consisted of warm grain bowls and healthy soups with root vegetables and organic breads. We weren't as busy as in the summer, but I was still making decent money.

"No Cole today?" Mom asked, backing away from me and the tree as I balanced it in the tree holder while Mom moved her hand this way and that, figuring out what side she liked best.

"He's in New York City until the twenty-fourth," I answered, flopping onto the couch. "Work trip and then home in time for Christmas Eve and all of our guests." I motioned to Dad. "Remember Dad was going to go but Cole didn't want him missing family obligations?"

"Oh, yeah, that's right." Mom gave me a thoughtful glance. "I, for one, think you inviting Clint for the weekend was a lovely idea, son," she stated. "Very mature—on both of your parts."

"Clint has no one aside from a few friends. All of whom will be here with us," I said, turning to my father, who was still scowling over small scratches in the hardwood. "With Perry and Lucas in your guest house and Marla in ours, I haven't figured out where Clint will stay yet."

"He can bunk in our basement, if need be," Dad chimed in. "It's not like I hate him," he added, in case I assumed he was still upset about the note.

"Hush, Alex," she said. "He will not be in any basement on Christmas. Clint can have the guest room upstairs if you need it, son," Mom corrected, glaring at my father.

I'd already made sure that Clint was welcome for the holidays in Cole's home, and he assured me he was, but overnight, and for a long weekend? I'd feel him out when he returned from the city.

My father headed for his office, leaving Mom and me alone to decorate the tree. I looked at her to tell Dad he could help. "Dad will be fine," she said, sitting next to me so we could admire the Noble Fir. "He's still upset that after all you did for Clint, he leaves you with only a note left behind."

"We're past that, Mom."

"I can see that you are, honey," she said, resting her hand on my thigh and squeezing. I glanced at her hand and then her face. "What?" she asked, interpreting that I suspected she had something additional to share.

"What does that mean?" I asked. "You can see that I am past what?"

"Your father and I are simply wondering how you and Cole are doing, honey," she explained. "You're living there full time now. Your business is good. You seem happier and settled again. And more like your old self."

"All that is true," I agreed. "But I hear a question or a but, Mom."

"Cole is mature, honey. That's all I mean," she said. "He seems more likely to want to settle down now that he's been single for… what did he say, three years now?"

"Almost four," I responded slowly. "And?"

"And you for less than a year."

"Get to your point, Mother," I stated, twisting around and scooching to the far end of the couch so I could face her directly. "You obviously have something you want to share, or maybe you and Dad want to share. I noticed he ran off and hid in the office."

My folks were as predictable as the sun rising. Keep a distance wide enough for me to grow and solve my own issues, but make sure I knew that they still watched me carefully. I could see the concern on her face and Dad's hasty departure only added evidence that they had questions.

"We're worried, son," she began. "Naturally, we trust you, of course, but a lot has happened to you in three short years. David's death, meeting Clint, his recovery, you two falling in love, him leaving you suddenly, you meeting Cole. The list of events seems daunting to us, honey. That's all it is."

"So," I began. "What I'm hearing is that you two are afraid that I'm jumping right back into another situation. Is that what I'm hearing you say?"

Mom fussed with her hands, placing them in her lap as she studied my reaction. "And now you're upset with me, right?"

"Not in the least," I replied. And I wasn't. "I wondered the same thing, to be honest. But I was nineteen when I met David. We weren't that serious yet," I argued. "Of course, I loved him, but I was a kid. And as for Clint, well, to be truthful, I was drawn to him needing me. I wanted to fix his injuries, and I wanted to give him love," I tried to explain. "And yes, I loved him too. I was a hundred percent invested in him, but he was the one to walk away, not me."

"True. All good points," she agreed.

"Thank you," I said. "But Cole is a different situation, and this is going to sound a bit odd, but I'll try to explain why."

I turned toward the window and the ocean beyond, always a source of strength for me. I wanted my parents to understand how I'd arrived at my decision regarding Cole. Trust me, I had wondered why him, why now. Why did he arrive literally in my backyard? His arrival had to be a sign.

"You know how I look to the universe for signs, right?" I asked. Mom nodded. "I put a lot of stock in my interpretation of my surroundings, and often seek guidance from non-traditional sources." I made sure she was watching and listening closely. "But, for whatever reason, I've received zero input from anywhere, Mom. Not even Jack has said a peep about me and Cole."

She nodded. "I know you believe that, Chad. And Jack and Cole were best friends, isn't that correct?"

"It is," I agreed. "And I used to get messages from Jack all the time. Perhaps you don't see a connection or a coincidence, but I think his lack of guidance is the actual message itself."

Mom smiled as my statement set up shop in her mind. I knew she knew what I meant without her voicing it, but she did anyway. "This was about you deciding."

I nodded. "This is me deciding, Mom. And this is me trusting my heart. David died. Clint left for his own reasons. But Cole came here on his own. Or did he?" I asked, raising my eyebrows and sounding spooky. "But, whatever. Maybe he did, maybe he didn't? The important thing for me is that I have decided to love him. Independent of hunches, or signs, or even Jack. And the reason is that I believe he is a wonderful man. A man worth loving."

Tears fell from my mother's beautiful eyes. She understood my reasoning and my decision-making process. The decision to believe in Cole and his love for me came when he'd decided to trust me when I said I was over Clint. Despite his being devastated after being left for another man, he chose to trust in me when he could have been filled with doubt.

Clint, unlike Cole's ex, Alan, came back for me, wanted me back, and I had totally freaked out. Who wouldn't think my actions proved that I still carried a torch for Clint? And without much info for Cole to go on other than me stating that I would not get back with Clint, and with him being as insecure in himself after losing a love he valued, he still chose to believe in me.

"I don't need a sign from beyond, Mom. I have a big, fat, sky-writing plane sign right in front of me. His name is Cole Hicks. I trust in love, in my ability to love, to be loved, and am willing to try again. If there was a sign or a hunch anywhere to be seen, Cole's arrival here has convinced me," I explained. "And if that's not enough, there is his kind nature, his heart, his commitment to the values of love. All of those qualities, plus so many more that you and Dad will discover, convinced me to try again."

Mom glanced behind me and I turned around to find my father had been listening. He swiped at his eyes and looked toward Mom. "I told you he'd be fine," Dad said, his voice catching with emotion.

She rolled her eyes at his half-hearted joke as she too wiped away tears of what I assumed had to be relief. "We're proud of you, son. Very proud of you," she whispered, holding back crying.

"I'll be okay, you two," I said, looking from her to Dad. "I am okay," I added.

Dad pointed at the Christmas tree that we'd done absolutely nothing to. "I expected better decorations," he quipped, turning on his heels and heading back to his office. "I told you our son was fine, Maggie," he singsonged over his shoulder.

"Can I live with you and Cole at your house?" she joked. "That man is going to be the death of me."

"I love you, Mom," I whispered. "I'm doing well because of you two always being there for me."

"And he's the one?" she asked, meaning Cole, I assumed.

"He is."