CHAPTER EIGHTEEN Cole

Twelve Years Ago

Thankfully, the restaurant was dimly lit, so sitting alone at a table didn't feel as horrible as it could have. A few people turned and looked at the empty seat across from me, smiling even though I could feel their pity.

I'd never been here before and was surprised to see so many gay men, mostly couples, dining in the sophisticated eatery. I glanced at my watch for the tenth time, noting that my blind date was fifteen minutes late. Turning the screen of my cell to face me revealed he hadn't texted either.

"Would you like to order a drink while you wait?" The handsome server, probably an actor or model trying to make ends meet, asked.

"I'll give it five more minutes," I answered, looking toward the front entrance.

There would be no drinking tonight on my part. I wasn't a big drinker to begin with, but blind dates were not a time to get tipsy. For me to get to know a man, I needed all my senses as well as the ability to recall him later.

My dating life was virtually nonexistent, and rather than blame everything and everyone except me, I knew my lack of opportunities was due to my work goals and my reluctance to sleep around.

"You'll love Carter," my assistant Gina had said. "He's in tech like you. He works out. He's stylish, also like you, and more importantly, he is single and I'm pretty sure ready to settle down," she'd pointed out.

"Do you have a picture?" I'd asked, leaning back in my office chair as I gave her idea more thought.

She hid her phone behind her back."Nope," she'd giggled. "It's a blind date, Cole, and like I told him, you need to trust me."

"So, he hasn't seen me either?" I'd asked, stunned that he'd already agreed to this unwise blind date.

"You're both simply gorge, darling," she'd gushed. "Like two men straight out of one of those steamy gay romance novels."

Gina didn't know I wasn't sexually active, and I planned on keeping my little secret just that: a closely held one. Dating in New York City as a gay man in his mid-twenties, and being celibate? Let's just say the idea is practically unheard of.

Just as I pushed away from the table to leave, I glanced toward the front door a final time. A tall, stunning, blond Wall Street-type, stood looking around the restaurant until his eyes landed on the only single person there, me. He flashed a smile that could be employed by a dental company's ad campaign.

I swallowed hard as he headed my direction, sliding out of his overcoat and handing it to the ma?tre -d' with barely a hint of regard.Entitled was my immediate instinct.

"Wow!" he stated, holding my arms and stepping back to assess a man he'd just seen a moment ago. "You're hot as fuck, Cole."

"Thank you," I replied, motioning to the chair opposite me. "And you're kind," I added, mentally noting that he was probably a twelve out of ten.Why was he single?

He ordered a scotch and then studied me. "Gina has good taste yet again," he stated.

"You've done this before?" I asked.

"Oh, hell yeah," he announced. "Four, maybe five times with Gina." He leaned forward and grinned, whispering. "I think I'm her go-to guy when she has her heart set on matchmaking, and you do not disappoint, mister."

"She didn't tell me that," I stammered, unsure of what the expectation for the night would be.

He waved me off and leaned back, quickly emptying his glass and waving at a server. Not our server, but the nearest one. "Oh, Gina," he began, rolling his eyes and shaking his head. "Bless her heart. She reads those ridiculous man-on-man romance books and thinks she's creating one herself."

"I see," I mumbled.

Carter was Hollywood handsome. The type of man that had no doubt been handed the gene-pool winning lottery ticket. Square jawed, tan, abundant and perfect hair, that smile of his, and a body that even a dress shirt and slacks couldn't hide.

He leaned in again, this time closer, and he cupped his mouth so as not to be heard. "Please tell me you're a top."

"Excuse me?" I asked, making sure I'd heard him correctly.

"I'm a massive bottom," he stated. "Aren't we all? God, every man I meet in this fucking city is a bottom."

I knew what he was asking. Sure, I wasn't sexually active, being that I intended to save myself for the right man, but I wasn't oblivious to gay culture.

"I haven't had to make that decision yet."

"So, you're vers?" he asked, winking. "Which is totally a bottom in gay speak."

"I'm not having sex," I said, feeling like he was about to be disappointed with my news.

He laughed out loud, obviously caught off guard and drawing the attention of a few neighboring eyes. The same eyes that had already indiscreetly been eye-banging our table since Carter arrived. Perhaps their sadness at my being alone earlier had been replaced with envy.

"Currently?" he stuttered, a small laugh escaping. "Or ever?"

This wasn't the conversation I wanted to have with a virtual stranger, not to mention a dating prospect on a blind date, but Gina didn't know my stance, so how could I expect him to be prepared for my unusual position on the matter?

"I'm waiting until I meet the right person," I confessed, checking the couples around us to see if they were listening. "Ideally, I'd like to date for a period of time. Get to know the man and grow fond of him before jumping into bed."

"Nooo… you're kidding, right?" he asked, glancing at all corners of the restaurant. "Am I being punked?"

I ignored his question, hoping he was joking. "That doesn't mean that the person I date has to be a virgin when we meet, but I would appreciate if they abstain while we get to know one another. You know, in the beginning."

His eyes narrowed, and he pointed toward me, a grin spreading across his face. "You're Mormon, right? I've heard of those people."

"I'm totally serious," I replied, feeling uncomfortable while discovering he was shocked and assumed I had to be pulling his leg. "I mean, that's what I'd like to find. That is why I'm here tonight, Carter," I added.

He shook his head slowly as my words sunk in completely. "Well… um… yeah, well…" He drained another scotch, eyeing me as he sat the glass down on the table. His stare made me wonder if a car crash had just happened behind me. "Yeah… so, that is not happening," he admitted. "Wow!" he exclaimed. "I didn't see that headline coming, buddy."

"Sorry," I expressed, not sure what else to say to him.

He stood up, still eyeing me warily, like I had to be joking. "No shit, man?" I nodded that I was indeed telling him the truth. He threw a twenty on the table, picked his empty drink up to give it a second look in case there was a smidge left, and showed his displeasure. "Wrong town, and definitely wrong guy."

He turned and walked straight out the door, not looking back once. I assumed he believed me.